A/N: Wow! People have reviewed! Thank you to everyone who did (see below)
Pam's back! And she's ready to cause some chaos in Middle Earth... if she can summon up the energy.
We have quite a bit written already, its just a case of getting them up on the site, so this should be updated with new chapters soon! Please keep reading and reviewing.
Also... if anyone has any suggestions please stick 'em in a review... all will be considered....
****************
To those that reviewed:
Incurelf: Thank you sweetie, we are writing more (see above) so keep an eye out for new chapters!
A.Spencer: Rocky Horror? We never really saw it like that but we love Rocky Horror so that's a huge compliment for us! Thank you! *starts singing Timewarp under her breath*.
Earenindiel Silverwing: We agree... Poor Leggy! And why does he get all the women... I much prefer Boromir.... Yum! And a much underrated character methinks! *starts dreaming about Boromir and Sean Bean in general.....sigh*
Aagh! The Fangirls are coming!
The Ringspell: Sorry darling, but that's the way we act when we're drunk... We're very ladylike y'know! Gemma does occasionally end up puking but usually we just end up drunkenly watching Fellowship extended DVD and skipping straight to Disk 2..so the hobbit lovers don't get way more fun than the Fellowship lovers and then arguing over various pedantic points and falling asleep way before the end! But fair's fair, I'll try and make us a bit drunker... I might have to go and do some research though... where's that bottle of vodka?
***********************************************
There was a vicious standoff happening.
The Fellowship (original members) were cowering.
Pam and Kelly were debating whether they should offer Gandalf the chance to write his will....
Gandalf was staring at Gemma, and Gemma was glowering right back.
"What exactly is wrong with my clothes?!"
Gandalf swept a long glance over Gemma and the other two girls. Gemma was wearing funky combats with long dangling strips, Pam (and Rachel wherever the hell she was) were in their usual uniform of jeans and t-shirts, and Kelly in a shirt and jeans.
"We are about to travel into the depths of Mordor, and you're wearing trousers with dangly bits.... Not exactly practical, are they?" Gandalf shouted.
"Where I come from... these are highly fashionable, I'll have you know!" Gemma screamed right back..."And your robes aren't exactly the most flattering outfit I've ever seen, big powerful wizard or not!"
It suddenly got very dark.. and a gale picked up around Gandalf.
His hat blew off into the bushes. Pam and Kelly ran to retrieve it... he might need it later. (Pam fell over, still under the influence of the Blue Stuff, but thankfully Boromir didn't notice)
"DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME, WENCH!"
Gemma did not take kindly to being called 'Wench'. She charged. Gandalf took aim with his staff and the dangly bits flew off Gemma's trousers. (They flew into the bush that Gimli was hiding in, and in delight he plaited them into his beard.)
Gemma passed out. Kelly and Pam dragged her over to the nearest log and rested her against it.
"Should we slap her?" Pam asked gleefully.
Kelly was too busy flicking her hair at the pretty elf again.
Gandalf retreated into the corner muttering to himself. It wasn't repeatable or suitable for sensitive ears.
"Well what are we going to do now?" Gimli frowned. But he cheered up as he stroked his new beard adornments.
The Fellowship looked down at the unconscious girls. (Pam had taken the opportunity to have a brief nap... the Blue Stuff always made her sleepy.) A trail of drool was coming from Gemma's wide open mouth and Pam was making little snuffling noises in her sleep.
Kelly was deep in conversation with Legolas about the vast amount of hair products available for blond hair, but paused when she heard Gimli's question.
"We could have some dinner." She tossed her hair once more at Legolas. "That'll get Rachel back as well."
Aragorn decided that he was being ignored again, and everyone knew that he was the star of this film.... um... fanfic... um.. thing.
He strode forward purposefully, "I am Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, King of all of Middle Earth.... And I say when we stop for dinner..."
Boromir stuck his foot out and tripped Aragorn. This woke Pam up and she giggled and waved at Boromir. He grinned back.
The beginning of this little flirtation was interrupted by the arrival of a horse like woman. And her horse.
"What this? A ranger caught..... Oh, shit... LINE?"
The woman gazed blankly around the forest and folded her arms. "LINE?" she screamed again in a nasal American accent.
Aragorn glanced up at his beloved from where he was still sprawled on the ground and pulled his cape over his head. "If I can't see her, she can't see me..." he could be heard whispering to himself.
"You just keep telling yourself that m'dear." Kelly patted him on the head through his cloak.
"I'm still waiting for my line!" the horse like woman sulked. "My daddy's very famous you know.... He could have you all killed!"
From some where in the trees behind the group there was a rustle of paper...And a hoarse (hahahahahah) whisper:
"A ranger caught off his guard...."
The horse like woman brightened. "Oh yeah, guard, yeah. Always have trouble with that." She cleared her throat. "What's this, yadayadayada, caught off his guard, like whatever..."
She tapped her foot waiting for Aragorn's reply. He still hid under his cloak.
"ARAGORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The mirror that Legolas was admiring himself in shattered in his hand as the high pitched shriek rang through the wood. He pouted.
Aragorn slowly pulled the cloak from over his head.
"Oh, Arwen, ... hi babe, how's things?"
Arwen was glaring at Kelly, the now awake Pam, and the still snoring Gemma with something like disgust. They studiously ignored her. Arwen stamped her foot.
"Aragorn!!!!!!!! I thought you said there was no other women in this movie, except Granny and Eowyn. And you told me that Eowyn looks like the back of a bus! I hate you! I hate you! Daddy is so going to hear about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Really, babe, I have no idea where they came from.... Honest! They just appeared....Maybe they're elves... yeah, elves!"
"No elves could ever be that ugly." Arwen tossed her hair back. Kelly laid a warning hand on Pam's arm.
"Yeah.... Ok.. whatever you say sweetheart... Um, what are you doing here anyway? Your part's over in this movie."
"Yeah, part that you stole off Glorfindal, spoilt bitch." Pam muttered. Boromir smirked.
"Oh, yeah, I found two hobbits in the wood. I brought them back." She pointed at her horse, where a very disheveled Frodo and Sam sat.
"Wasn't there a girl with them?" Kelly asked.
Arwen shrugged. "Yeah, but I left her behind. I only rescue men."
She twirled her hair around a finger, and batted her eyelashes at Boromir (had to keep Aragorn on his toes...). Kelly fought to restrain Pam who looked ready to kill.
Right on cue, Rachel burst through the bushes, wild eyed with twigs in her very messy hair. She was followed by two different hobbits.
"Bitch!" she hissed at Arwen. "You stole my Frodo!"
Frodo hid behind Sam. Merry and Pippin were staring at the new arrivals with a very wicked glint in their eyes. Kelly stopped flicking her hair at Legolas when she noticed Merry. And Merry noticed Kelly's lovely pair... of... um.. big blue eyes. Legolas sulked, but then noticed that Gemma, (who was waking up) had lovely hair and perked up. Boromir and Pam were grinning daftly at each other. Arwen took one look at a very mad Rachel and made a quick exit. Aragorn tried not to sigh in relief!
Rachel grinned at her friends. "I found those two collecting mushrooms in the forest. Said they were for Gandalf."
Gandalf made a grumbling noise in his throat, and made desperate hand signals at Pippin... who looked blankly at the odd gesturing wizard.
The air was rife with hormones.
"So," Rachel said, rubbing her hands together. "What's for dinner?"
*******************************
Well, not great, but still....
Tune in for Kelly's chapter up next!
Will Boromir and Pam get any further than grinning at each other?
Will Gandalf admit his drug problem?
Will Aragorn escape Arwen?
Will the girls have a hangover and regret their actions in the morning? (more than likely!)
And what exactly is for dinner?
R&R
Pam's back! And she's ready to cause some chaos in Middle Earth... if she can summon up the energy.
We have quite a bit written already, its just a case of getting them up on the site, so this should be updated with new chapters soon! Please keep reading and reviewing.
Also... if anyone has any suggestions please stick 'em in a review... all will be considered....
****************
To those that reviewed:
Incurelf: Thank you sweetie, we are writing more (see above) so keep an eye out for new chapters!
A.Spencer: Rocky Horror? We never really saw it like that but we love Rocky Horror so that's a huge compliment for us! Thank you! *starts singing Timewarp under her breath*.
Earenindiel Silverwing: We agree... Poor Leggy! And why does he get all the women... I much prefer Boromir.... Yum! And a much underrated character methinks! *starts dreaming about Boromir and Sean Bean in general.....sigh*
Aagh! The Fangirls are coming!
The Ringspell: Sorry darling, but that's the way we act when we're drunk... We're very ladylike y'know! Gemma does occasionally end up puking but usually we just end up drunkenly watching Fellowship extended DVD and skipping straight to Disk 2..so the hobbit lovers don't get way more fun than the Fellowship lovers and then arguing over various pedantic points and falling asleep way before the end! But fair's fair, I'll try and make us a bit drunker... I might have to go and do some research though... where's that bottle of vodka?
***********************************************
There was a vicious standoff happening.
The Fellowship (original members) were cowering.
Pam and Kelly were debating whether they should offer Gandalf the chance to write his will....
Gandalf was staring at Gemma, and Gemma was glowering right back.
"What exactly is wrong with my clothes?!"
Gandalf swept a long glance over Gemma and the other two girls. Gemma was wearing funky combats with long dangling strips, Pam (and Rachel wherever the hell she was) were in their usual uniform of jeans and t-shirts, and Kelly in a shirt and jeans.
"We are about to travel into the depths of Mordor, and you're wearing trousers with dangly bits.... Not exactly practical, are they?" Gandalf shouted.
"Where I come from... these are highly fashionable, I'll have you know!" Gemma screamed right back..."And your robes aren't exactly the most flattering outfit I've ever seen, big powerful wizard or not!"
It suddenly got very dark.. and a gale picked up around Gandalf.
His hat blew off into the bushes. Pam and Kelly ran to retrieve it... he might need it later. (Pam fell over, still under the influence of the Blue Stuff, but thankfully Boromir didn't notice)
"DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME, WENCH!"
Gemma did not take kindly to being called 'Wench'. She charged. Gandalf took aim with his staff and the dangly bits flew off Gemma's trousers. (They flew into the bush that Gimli was hiding in, and in delight he plaited them into his beard.)
Gemma passed out. Kelly and Pam dragged her over to the nearest log and rested her against it.
"Should we slap her?" Pam asked gleefully.
Kelly was too busy flicking her hair at the pretty elf again.
Gandalf retreated into the corner muttering to himself. It wasn't repeatable or suitable for sensitive ears.
"Well what are we going to do now?" Gimli frowned. But he cheered up as he stroked his new beard adornments.
The Fellowship looked down at the unconscious girls. (Pam had taken the opportunity to have a brief nap... the Blue Stuff always made her sleepy.) A trail of drool was coming from Gemma's wide open mouth and Pam was making little snuffling noises in her sleep.
Kelly was deep in conversation with Legolas about the vast amount of hair products available for blond hair, but paused when she heard Gimli's question.
"We could have some dinner." She tossed her hair once more at Legolas. "That'll get Rachel back as well."
Aragorn decided that he was being ignored again, and everyone knew that he was the star of this film.... um... fanfic... um.. thing.
He strode forward purposefully, "I am Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, King of all of Middle Earth.... And I say when we stop for dinner..."
Boromir stuck his foot out and tripped Aragorn. This woke Pam up and she giggled and waved at Boromir. He grinned back.
The beginning of this little flirtation was interrupted by the arrival of a horse like woman. And her horse.
"What this? A ranger caught..... Oh, shit... LINE?"
The woman gazed blankly around the forest and folded her arms. "LINE?" she screamed again in a nasal American accent.
Aragorn glanced up at his beloved from where he was still sprawled on the ground and pulled his cape over his head. "If I can't see her, she can't see me..." he could be heard whispering to himself.
"You just keep telling yourself that m'dear." Kelly patted him on the head through his cloak.
"I'm still waiting for my line!" the horse like woman sulked. "My daddy's very famous you know.... He could have you all killed!"
From some where in the trees behind the group there was a rustle of paper...And a hoarse (hahahahahah) whisper:
"A ranger caught off his guard...."
The horse like woman brightened. "Oh yeah, guard, yeah. Always have trouble with that." She cleared her throat. "What's this, yadayadayada, caught off his guard, like whatever..."
She tapped her foot waiting for Aragorn's reply. He still hid under his cloak.
"ARAGORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The mirror that Legolas was admiring himself in shattered in his hand as the high pitched shriek rang through the wood. He pouted.
Aragorn slowly pulled the cloak from over his head.
"Oh, Arwen, ... hi babe, how's things?"
Arwen was glaring at Kelly, the now awake Pam, and the still snoring Gemma with something like disgust. They studiously ignored her. Arwen stamped her foot.
"Aragorn!!!!!!!! I thought you said there was no other women in this movie, except Granny and Eowyn. And you told me that Eowyn looks like the back of a bus! I hate you! I hate you! Daddy is so going to hear about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Really, babe, I have no idea where they came from.... Honest! They just appeared....Maybe they're elves... yeah, elves!"
"No elves could ever be that ugly." Arwen tossed her hair back. Kelly laid a warning hand on Pam's arm.
"Yeah.... Ok.. whatever you say sweetheart... Um, what are you doing here anyway? Your part's over in this movie."
"Yeah, part that you stole off Glorfindal, spoilt bitch." Pam muttered. Boromir smirked.
"Oh, yeah, I found two hobbits in the wood. I brought them back." She pointed at her horse, where a very disheveled Frodo and Sam sat.
"Wasn't there a girl with them?" Kelly asked.
Arwen shrugged. "Yeah, but I left her behind. I only rescue men."
She twirled her hair around a finger, and batted her eyelashes at Boromir (had to keep Aragorn on his toes...). Kelly fought to restrain Pam who looked ready to kill.
Right on cue, Rachel burst through the bushes, wild eyed with twigs in her very messy hair. She was followed by two different hobbits.
"Bitch!" she hissed at Arwen. "You stole my Frodo!"
Frodo hid behind Sam. Merry and Pippin were staring at the new arrivals with a very wicked glint in their eyes. Kelly stopped flicking her hair at Legolas when she noticed Merry. And Merry noticed Kelly's lovely pair... of... um.. big blue eyes. Legolas sulked, but then noticed that Gemma, (who was waking up) had lovely hair and perked up. Boromir and Pam were grinning daftly at each other. Arwen took one look at a very mad Rachel and made a quick exit. Aragorn tried not to sigh in relief!
Rachel grinned at her friends. "I found those two collecting mushrooms in the forest. Said they were for Gandalf."
Gandalf made a grumbling noise in his throat, and made desperate hand signals at Pippin... who looked blankly at the odd gesturing wizard.
The air was rife with hormones.
"So," Rachel said, rubbing her hands together. "What's for dinner?"
*******************************
Well, not great, but still....
Tune in for Kelly's chapter up next!
Will Boromir and Pam get any further than grinning at each other?
Will Gandalf admit his drug problem?
Will Aragorn escape Arwen?
Will the girls have a hangover and regret their actions in the morning? (more than likely!)
And what exactly is for dinner?
R&R
