A/N: Aha... Kelly is back in charge of the keyboard and the story... here goes...
Oh and we don't own Dominos. But the amount of business we've given them - we should have shares in the company.
************************************
"No dinner." Gandalf said assertively. (He was a wizard after all, and beginning to notice a distinct lack of respect since the girls had arrived) "We have to make progress. I fear that we have lingered here too long."
"Hang on," interrupted Rachel. "Where are we going?"
Pippin smiled up at her. "You know, that's what I said." He frowned. "Actually, I really wish I hadn't asked."
He spoke with a lovely lilting Scottish accent, which made Kelly glare at him disapprovingly. She couldn't get to grips with a Scottish accent and he was quite obviously flouting his Scottishness deliberately.
So this motley group of adventurers left the clearing. Gandalf took the lead (he had staff issues) followed by a disheveled Frodo and a slightly shell shocked Sam. Rachel followed behind grumbling about food and winking suggestively at Frodo whenever he turned round.
The Pretty Elf walked behind them chatting to Gimli about the relative merits of Frizz Ease compared to an own brand styling serum.
Then came Merry and Pippin, who were almost skipping with excitement, holding hands with Kelly.
Aragorn and Boromir were behind them, pushing and trying to out swagger each other.
Bringing up the rear were Pam and Gemma, arms linked and giggling while pointing to the rears in front of them...
The party made quite a merry way through the forest, and everyone was beginning to feel quite relaxed and happy, except Gandalf. (It's the staff...)
However, as with all these good times, they can never last...
Frodo started to sway and roll his eyes while moaning softly.
Sam grabbed him before he hit the ground. "Mr. Frodo, sir! Mr. Frodo!"
Rachel turned around her hands in the air. "I never touched him! I never laid a finger on him, honest!"
"It's the Ring, isn't it, Mr. Frodo sir? I know it's the Ring."
"Oh, shut up!" said Gemma, who could never stand a kiss ass. "Move out of my way - I know CPR."
Before Gemma could get to the moaning hobbit, there was a sound of horse's hooves and a sudden chill in the air.
"Quick everyone!" Aragorn yelled, pleased to have something heroic to do, he liked the way his cloak swished when he was fighting. "It's the Nazgul!"
The whole group made a mad dash for the nearest group of trees to hide, which resulted in a somewhat undignified scuffle, which sorry to say ended up with the wizard, Boromir and Aragorn hiding at the back, and the girls pushed to the front.
"You're treading on my beard!" Gimli glared at Gemma, who responded by sticking her tongue out at him.
"There's something poking me!" Pam complained.
"Wouldn't be the first time..." muttered Rachel.
"Sorry, that would be me..." whispered Boromir, looking a bit sheepish. "Its my long sword."
"You're telling me!" Pam returned saucily and licked her lips.
"Be quiet!" hissed Aragorn. "The Nazgul are evil servants of the Ring. They will stop at nothing to return it to Sauron."
Frodo was still rolling his eyes and shaking in a blatant display of drama school over acting. Sam and Pippin were holding his hands and trying to calm him down. Merry however was laid with his head in Kelly's lap, doing impressions of the others to make her laugh. She was so impressed she flicked her hair at him, causing the Pretty Elf to sulk.
Suddenly everyone went silent as the horse hooves drew closer, and came to a stop in front of the trees where the group was hiding.
No one moved and the forest became deathly silent, as though the very claws of the grave were reaching out to claim them for its own.
"Pizza!"
No one moved.
"Erm... Did someone order a Domino's Pizza? A large deep pan four seasons.'
"It's a trick!" hissed Boromir. "An evil trick to get the Ring."
"No it isn't," said Rachel getting to her feet. "It's my dinner."
Rachel marched out onto the path, followed by Gemma, Pam, and Aragorn. Kelly was still sitting under the trees, tickling Merry's hobbit feet.
Sat astride a huge black stallion was the awe inspiring figure of a Ringwraith, one of the nine Kings of Men, who had become servants to Sauron and the Ring, neither dead or alive they haunted the path of the Ring, striking fear into the hearts of all that saw Them, and this one was wearing a baseball cap.
Aragorn had now been joined by Boromir, slightly braver now they were only faced with a pizza delivery boy.
"But... you're a Ringwraith, man!" he stuttered. "You were awesome! What happened?"
The Wraith shrugged and handed the steaming box of food down to the waiting girls, who had now been joined by Gimli and a surprisingly well recovered Frodo.
"Things change, y'know. The guys wanted to do one thing, I felt I needed to do my own thing, y'know? I think it was just creative differences. I'm just doing this gig for now, y'know? Then I've got this solo project coming up, that's just me, without the other eight guys, so that's going to be really exciting, y'know?"
Boromir nodded that he did indeed 'know' and wandered off to see if he could share some of Pam's meat feast.
Gandalf sighed when he realised that he had been left with the bill and the tip.
He knew that they shouldn't have let the girls come....
Oh and we don't own Dominos. But the amount of business we've given them - we should have shares in the company.
************************************
"No dinner." Gandalf said assertively. (He was a wizard after all, and beginning to notice a distinct lack of respect since the girls had arrived) "We have to make progress. I fear that we have lingered here too long."
"Hang on," interrupted Rachel. "Where are we going?"
Pippin smiled up at her. "You know, that's what I said." He frowned. "Actually, I really wish I hadn't asked."
He spoke with a lovely lilting Scottish accent, which made Kelly glare at him disapprovingly. She couldn't get to grips with a Scottish accent and he was quite obviously flouting his Scottishness deliberately.
So this motley group of adventurers left the clearing. Gandalf took the lead (he had staff issues) followed by a disheveled Frodo and a slightly shell shocked Sam. Rachel followed behind grumbling about food and winking suggestively at Frodo whenever he turned round.
The Pretty Elf walked behind them chatting to Gimli about the relative merits of Frizz Ease compared to an own brand styling serum.
Then came Merry and Pippin, who were almost skipping with excitement, holding hands with Kelly.
Aragorn and Boromir were behind them, pushing and trying to out swagger each other.
Bringing up the rear were Pam and Gemma, arms linked and giggling while pointing to the rears in front of them...
The party made quite a merry way through the forest, and everyone was beginning to feel quite relaxed and happy, except Gandalf. (It's the staff...)
However, as with all these good times, they can never last...
Frodo started to sway and roll his eyes while moaning softly.
Sam grabbed him before he hit the ground. "Mr. Frodo, sir! Mr. Frodo!"
Rachel turned around her hands in the air. "I never touched him! I never laid a finger on him, honest!"
"It's the Ring, isn't it, Mr. Frodo sir? I know it's the Ring."
"Oh, shut up!" said Gemma, who could never stand a kiss ass. "Move out of my way - I know CPR."
Before Gemma could get to the moaning hobbit, there was a sound of horse's hooves and a sudden chill in the air.
"Quick everyone!" Aragorn yelled, pleased to have something heroic to do, he liked the way his cloak swished when he was fighting. "It's the Nazgul!"
The whole group made a mad dash for the nearest group of trees to hide, which resulted in a somewhat undignified scuffle, which sorry to say ended up with the wizard, Boromir and Aragorn hiding at the back, and the girls pushed to the front.
"You're treading on my beard!" Gimli glared at Gemma, who responded by sticking her tongue out at him.
"There's something poking me!" Pam complained.
"Wouldn't be the first time..." muttered Rachel.
"Sorry, that would be me..." whispered Boromir, looking a bit sheepish. "Its my long sword."
"You're telling me!" Pam returned saucily and licked her lips.
"Be quiet!" hissed Aragorn. "The Nazgul are evil servants of the Ring. They will stop at nothing to return it to Sauron."
Frodo was still rolling his eyes and shaking in a blatant display of drama school over acting. Sam and Pippin were holding his hands and trying to calm him down. Merry however was laid with his head in Kelly's lap, doing impressions of the others to make her laugh. She was so impressed she flicked her hair at him, causing the Pretty Elf to sulk.
Suddenly everyone went silent as the horse hooves drew closer, and came to a stop in front of the trees where the group was hiding.
No one moved and the forest became deathly silent, as though the very claws of the grave were reaching out to claim them for its own.
"Pizza!"
No one moved.
"Erm... Did someone order a Domino's Pizza? A large deep pan four seasons.'
"It's a trick!" hissed Boromir. "An evil trick to get the Ring."
"No it isn't," said Rachel getting to her feet. "It's my dinner."
Rachel marched out onto the path, followed by Gemma, Pam, and Aragorn. Kelly was still sitting under the trees, tickling Merry's hobbit feet.
Sat astride a huge black stallion was the awe inspiring figure of a Ringwraith, one of the nine Kings of Men, who had become servants to Sauron and the Ring, neither dead or alive they haunted the path of the Ring, striking fear into the hearts of all that saw Them, and this one was wearing a baseball cap.
Aragorn had now been joined by Boromir, slightly braver now they were only faced with a pizza delivery boy.
"But... you're a Ringwraith, man!" he stuttered. "You were awesome! What happened?"
The Wraith shrugged and handed the steaming box of food down to the waiting girls, who had now been joined by Gimli and a surprisingly well recovered Frodo.
"Things change, y'know. The guys wanted to do one thing, I felt I needed to do my own thing, y'know? I think it was just creative differences. I'm just doing this gig for now, y'know? Then I've got this solo project coming up, that's just me, without the other eight guys, so that's going to be really exciting, y'know?"
Boromir nodded that he did indeed 'know' and wandered off to see if he could share some of Pam's meat feast.
Gandalf sighed when he realised that he had been left with the bill and the tip.
He knew that they shouldn't have let the girls come....
