A/N: Okay, Sirius goes slightly mental in this one and, while not much happens, I think it is setting up for something, I dunno. It better be. And the slight insanity will be explained and isn't permanent, I don't think. And while the relationship between S and R does appear to be more-than-friendly the way I see it is that these two people have been through a hell of a lot more than your average friends. And they were alone for so long I think they'd be quite a bit closer than friends now while still keeping a purely platonic relationship. Of course, if slashers wanna read something else into it that's fine with me. Interpret it as you will. Sorry about the delay. Enjoy! (I hope)

Voices

Sirius walked the streets restlessly, ignoring the nervous glances from passers-by. He didn't know where he was going, just that he needed out. Right now, he wanted only to run, to find somewhere secluded and just scream until his voice was spent. He wanted to break something, anything, simply for the purpose of watching it shatter into a million pieces. It beat feeling his own mind and sanity being taken apart piece by piece. But, of course, a dog can't scream, and it would draw too much attention to him if he started madly throwing himself at objects in a rage. Instead, he made his way to a vacant lot, covered over time by enough plant life to hide him from sight. A large tree grew in the back corner, it's leafless branches offering meager shade from the midday sun. He began to pace, slowly wearing a path through the weeds and dust.

What am I doing? Why don't I just talk to him? His pace quickened and he snorted into the dust. And then what? A voice reasoned. He'd heard this voice before, every time the dementors came in the last years at Azkaban. It's not his problem. He doesn't care. Sirius shook his head and lifted it slightly, so that his nose was no longer near the ground.

I should talk to him though. I just…I don't think I'd know where to start…I don't know why…He began to paw nervously at the ground. No, he'd just send you away.  Sirius shook his head again and curled his lip. He wouldn't. I know Moony. He doesn't give up, even if it's something he doesn't think he can change. Sirius sighed and resumed pacing. He might be right, I have someone who is willing to at least try to help. Even if I'm too stupid to let him. He had no one.

And who's fault is that? You did it. They died because of you! He would never have needed anyone's help if it wasn't for you and your brilliant idea! You did that to him!

Sirius snarled, the fur rising along his back. No, it was Wormtail. I know it was! It wasn't me! It wasn't my fault!

Of course it bloody was! It was your idea. You said it yourself you as good as killed them.

Sirius snarled again. No! It was Wormtail. He was the traitor.

And who's idea was it to make him Secret-Keeper? Yours! You caused it. You killed them. And you left your only friend to face it all alone. And Harry. Your godson. Look at how he lives. With relatives who couldn't love him less if he was something they'd stepped in, with only other people's memories to remind him that his real family had existed. You almost let Wormtail kill him last year! He could have died! All. Because of. You.

He stopped pacing, one paw held midstep. Slowly, Sirius' fur flattened, no longer rising in anger. His paw landed with a crunch of leaves and a puff of dust and his head sank slowly until it was hanging between his gigantic forepaws. He sighed, defeated, his breath stirring the dust and dirt. No…

He slunk towards the tree. They'd be better off without you. Everyone would. You should just get it over with.

A breeze stirred the branches overhead, making them creak. It caught at his coat like invisible fingers, toying with the soft black fur.  I never wanted to hurt them...Remus knows that. Harry knows…

Whimpering softly, deep in his throat, He collapsed onto the ground, leaning against the slender trunk of the tree. He closed his eyes, feeling the wind tug at his coat and the warmth of the sun filtering through the bare branches above him and let darkness take hold, filling his dreams with nightmarish images.

Moonlight slanting through barred windows, the clanking of a door, the click of a lock. A thin figure, bent, hugging his knees and rocking against the wall. The memories were coming. A ragged cloak, a hand, grey skin covered in slime and scabs. Then a flash of green. James clutched at his cloak. He was gasping, his breath bubbling in his lungs. His fingers found Sirius's wrist and held, a grip so tight it had hurt. And then there was no more pain. James' hand fell away. He gasped, and did not exhale. A baby screamed, the cry mingling with thunder. And the rain fell on them both while Sirius cried.

The nightmare ended and Sirius snapped back to reality, his head jolting up off his paws. It was dusk, and Sirius blinked owlishly until his eyes grew used to the gloom. The few clouds that had dotted the sky that morning had been replaced by a single grey mass. Thunder rolled, low and distant, and tiny drops of water spattered the dust and leaves, landing on his coat in droplets that clung to the strands of fur like jewels. The wind had turned cold, and even covered by thick fur, Sirius felt it. That inner voice he'd battled with before was silent and he was alone in his head once more.

Slowly, he got up, stretching his stiff limbs and yawning widely. With dark eyes Sirius watched the clouds above him. He didn't particularly like the idea of having to face the cold and rain tonight, but in his mind, he saw the prospect of having to face up to Remus as something even worse. Anyway, he reasoned, Remus would be dealing with another transformation tonight and wouldn't even know he was gone. Thunder sounded, closer and louder than before, and a dull white flash lit up the clouds on the horizon. The rain came down harder and Sirius bowed his head, slinking out from his shelter behind the bushes and into the street.

~ * ~

Remus busied himself cleaning up the mess Sirius had left in the kitchen. Then spent the day alternating between worrying about where Sirius was and what he was doing, and worrying about where Sirius had been and what he'd done. This routine was only broken occasionally when he stopped to glance briefly at the clock or out the window, muttering to himself. Another time he might have found this funny. Even at Hogwarts he'd been "the mother hen" of the group. Worrying himself sick whenever one of them was late, or not eating, or seemed to be upset about something. At times he could be seen ushering Sirius into Potions class, or lecturing James when he tried to bullshit his way through Divination.

But now the sun was setting and it was starting to rain, and laughter was the last thing on his mind. Remus stopped wandering aimlessly around the house to swallow the bitter wolfsbane potion and leaned against the kitchen wall, sliding to the floor. Where the hell was Sirius? It bothered Remus that he couldn't do anything. It was too late for him to go out looking for him now, so all he could do was wait out the night and see if Sirius came home.

"You ass," he murmured to himself, holding his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have told him I'd spoken to Dumbledore. He barely trusts anyone as it is. He should know I'd never desert him like that."

But Remus had run out of time to think about that. He could feel the wolf stirring inside. It was time. Getting awkwardly to his feet, he turned and went upstairs to wait out the change.

~ * ~

The shower had become a storm, and cold rain was pounding the streets and rooves while the occasional dull boom of thunder and flash of lightning lit up the sky. Sirius was soaked and shivering. He broke into a run, his paws slamming the pavement, kicking up little sprays of water. There was no one out in this weather, and Sirius was free to go where he liked. It felt good to run, it kept the cold at bay and his mind occupied. The only problem was a lingering feeling in the back of his mind. This feeling had been there for the last couple of years, sometimes faint and barely noticeable, sometimes so strong he couldn't bear to leave the house. It had burdened him since his escape, the lingering cold of the dementors.

Every now and then, as he sprinted through the streets, he would see a shadow loom in the corner of his vision, and his mind would start to panic. It was long, clammy fingers tugging at his fur instead of the wind. And the sound of the wind itself was raspy breathing, drawing in all warmth and light. And he'd shy away, slinking and weaving past the shadowy alleyways. But even as a dog Sirius couldn't run all night, especially with only a meager stolen meal all day. It was still raining when he slowed to a walk and made his way to a nearby park. He slunk through the shadows, forcing down his own fear of them and curled up in the only remotely dry place available; on the sand beneath the playground. He dropped his head on his paws and watched the rain, all the while thinking, wondering how Remus was going. Sirius felt guilty, he should have gone back, if only to take care of his friend during the full moon. He'd be better off without you…You've left him alone again…The voice was back. And this time, Sirius didn't fight it.

~ * ~

It was nearing midnight and Sirius still hadn't returned. Remus made his way down the stairs, a constant fear gnawing at him. Sirius was so bloody impulsive when he was in his right mind, and now, when his mind was in so much pain, what would he do? Nightmarish images came unbidden to his mind and Remus shuddered, shaking them off. He couldn't think about what Sirius might do in a fit of anger or grief, he needed to forget about the gashes on his friend's arm, the darkness in his eyes. He had to be calm and rational and…and bloody hell, where was that ridiculous bastard!

Fumbling awkwardly with his gigantic paws, he somehow managed to force the front door open.

He really is mad, he thought grimly, suppressing a shiver as a gust of cold wind and rain greeted him. He'd have to be to be out in this. He chose to ignore the other possible explanations his brain thought up as to why Sirius hadn't come home. Nosing the door shut behind him, Remus set off at a jog, easily jumping the low front fence and disappearing into the night.

The entire neighborhood seemed deserted. The windows were dark, the houses were silent, and Remus only encountered one other living creature. A small, ugly dog threw itself at a fence, gagging on his chain as he fought to get at the strange creature intruding on his territory. It was, of course, ignored completely. Remus moved on, occasionally letting out the strange half-bark, half-howl noise that was unique to werewolves in the vain hope that Sirius would reply.

~ * ~

Sirius woke suddenly, looking dazedly around. He was breathing heavily and the sand was scoured with marks from his claws. He'd been dreaming of Azkaban again. The rain had eased slightly, but it was still heavy and the sand beneath Sirius' body was getting damp. He searched for the sound that had woken him, ears twitching and straining to hear past the drumming of the rain and wind. It came again. A familiar sort of howling, ending in a short bark. Remus was coming, looking for him. He'll be angry. Sirius shook his head, shrinking back from the direction of the sound. He wouldn't hurt me. Of this Sirius was certain. But the voice of doubt inside his head countered back, no, but he'll send you away. Snape won't hide you. He won't protect you. You'll end up back in Azkaban. You know it. Sirius's claws scrabbled in the sand in an effort to shrink back into the shadows, the only place he could hide. No! He stopped struggling and crouched, panting, glaring out into the rain. He wasn't going to go back to…That Place. No matter what. He'd die first.

He waited, watching, listening. He crept forward until his head was out in the rain, squinting, trying hopelessly to see beyond the blackness. Remus howled again, closer now, and Sirius growled, barking into the darkness, telling him, in the only way he could, to piss off and leave him alone.

Remus' ears twitched, picking up the low growl. He knew instantly who it was, and where it came from. But why? Why was Sirius growling, as though Remus were a danger, something to ward off? It didn't matter, he decided. I promised. I promised I'd help him, no matter what. Whether he accepts it or not is his choice. Remus barked again, trotting forward. Peering through the rain, he could just make out a dark shape cowering beneath a children's playground. There you are! Remus would have shouted if he could have. He was overjoyed simply to have found his friend alive and unharmed. Inwardly he laughed at himself for conjuring all the horrifying images of Sirius' demise and leapt forward. Sirius you unimaginably infuriating bastard!  

Sirius saw the grayish canine shape rush at him from the curtain of rain, his long plumed tail waving behind him. He'll send you away…You'll be caught again…Sirius moved forward to try to run, but he was too late. A massive grey head came into view. Two amber eyes blinked curiously at him. Sirius whined and scrabbled at the sand with his claws. Remus looked terrible. He was wet and his thick fur hung in strands over his thin body. He was panting from his run. He cocked his head and stepped back, startled by Sirius' reaction. Maybe he'd missed something. Maybe Sirius really was hurt.

Taking advantage of this confusion, Sirius leapt past him, pushing him aside, and sprinted into the dark.

Why? Remus shook himself, bewildered. But he only paused for a moment before giving chase. He began to panic again, his imagination taking over. The images returned as he struggled to guess where Sirius was headed, what he intended to do. One thing was clear. He didn't intend coming back. Remus called after him, but Sirius kept running, a vague shadow weaving through the rain.

He'll send you away.

No! He wouldn't! He didn't mean it!

He came out in this looking for you. He had to have a reason.

He was worried. Sirius faltered. It had never really occurred to him that Remus might worry this much about him. That he'd come out in this bloody rain after him, for any reason other than to carry out what he'd said that morning, or for some obligation he felt. It never occurred to him that that was why Remus wasn't eating much, or sleeping well. He wouldn't send me away. He knows what'll happen.

You're right. The inner voice agreed, pausing before it continued. And he's out here, in the freezing cold, chasing an idiot who does nothing but bring pain and death to anyone who cares for him. It'll be dawn soon. What if he doesn't make it back? What if he's found? The Ministry'll be on him in a flash. He'll be imprisoned. Or worse, destroyed. You know he hasn't renewed his registration. Sirius glanced back over his shoulder. Remus was still there, following him relentlessly at a distance. He hadn't been running for hours before like Sirius. He could keep going until dawn if he had to. Sirius, however, was beginning to feel the effects of the chase. His legs felt weak and his lungs were burning. I shouldn't have run. Why did I run?

You can't turn back now.

Why?

The voice gave no explanation. Sirius had always been far too proud for his own good sometimes. It was his nature. He didn't like Remus worrying about him so much. And he couldn't stop now, not after he'd behaved like this. It was almost dawn. Sirius could feel it. So could Remus. He struggled with the urge to go back. He had to make sure Sirius was safe. I promised him.

It's almost dawn.

I know that!

He'll be caught. He'll probably be killed. And it'll be all. Your. Fault.

No!

Yes! He'd be better off without you. You know it.

Sirius didn't reply. He ran on. He had to find somewhere. Had to shake Remus off so he'd go home. There. There was an open garden shed across the road. He could leap over the fence and crawl in there. It was dark, and Remus wouldn't have the time to look for him. But Remus had been holding back.

Sirius stopped at the sidewalk and   glanced over his shoulder. Remus was still a distance behind him. The rain had eased further and he could see easily now. But the werewolf put on a burst of speed and was soon beside him, panting slightly, wet and bedraggled. The clouds were thinning and in the east the sky was lightening, a pale grey.

If he doesn't leave now, he'll be caught.

It's because of you. All because of you.

What can I do? He won't leave. The only sounds were the light patter of rain, the breathing of the two canines and the crunch of tyres on wet road. Sirius turned and saw two faint beams piercing the darkness, heading towards them.

Do it. Do it now! He'll be safe then. You won't hurt him, or anyone else, anymore.

Sirius looked back at Remus one last time. Remus stood watching him, his head cocked to one side. All right. Sirius told the voice. I can't fight anymore. You win. And with a last burst of energy he leapt forward.

A/N: Sorry again about the lack-of-anything-resembling-interesting-stuff happening, but I promise something will happen in chapter six, which won't take as long to get up as this one. And any stuff up in regards to continuity and Sirius' reasons for stuff, my excuse is that Sirius has temporarily lost his grip on sanity and is irrational. Which is perfectly reasonable considering the circumstances I think. Cookies again go to the wonderful people who reviewed! I love you all! (I feel like gushing today) And Kirsty, I promise I will finish this, even if I get bored with it and if it takes years. Haha.

Oh and Frodo lives!! (wrong fandom I know, but my heart is torn two ways in that respect. And I just felt like saying it. o_O)