DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters mentioned and I'm not making any money out of this. Only the plot is mine.

WARNING: This fan fic contains slash themes, which is male/male relationships. If homosexual themes bother you, don't read this.

Rated: R, not really worth it yet but I'm anticipating events to come ;)

This one's all about Draco. Don't worry, Harry will be back in the next one!!

Chapter 7

"Last summer my father, Lucius, he decided that it would be prudent to introduce me to the more, erm, colourful aspects of his life." Draco had completely given up on trying to retain eye-contact with Snape. Instead he stared at a point on the wall to the left of Snape's head, memorising every crack.

"I met many of my father's oldest acquaintances; sat in on their meetings, listened to their ideas and opinions. I never knew humans had such a capacity for hate."

"Neither did I." said Snape quietly, who had been sitting, unwilling to break Draco's flow.

"I think what amazed me most, was the fact that even there, everything revolves around Potter. Every plan, no matter how far-fetched, is about getting at him! It's as though there's a whirlwind around him and nobody can help but get drawn in, whether you love him or hate him! Not even I can resist." He said sadly. Snape looked up sharply but refrained from commenting, much to Draco's relief. Doggedly, he carried on his narrative.

"One night, father took me to another gathering. I didn't think it would be any different. There were a few more people there than I'd expected, but I wasn't concerned. We arrived late, mother had had a slight argument with a house elf you see and father spent ages trying to calm her down. Anyway, when we got there I could tell that many of them had been drinking, and God only knows what else." Draco's voice faltered as the memories rose once more. "Oh God…" he whispered.

"It's OK. Take your time" Snape looked concerned, but Draco was determined. It was better to get this over with now. 'I'll have to face up to it at some point.'

"My father wandered off to another room to discuss tactics, and told me to stay where I was. He left me there." His voice trailed off again momentarily. "They paid little attention to me, for which I was grateful. I found their presence intimidating; I've never been good around drunk people. My mother, you know." Of course Snape knew, Narcissa's problem was not a well kept secret.

"My father left me with them for over an hour. A lot can happen in an hour you know." he gulped.

"What happened Draco?" Snape's eyes were filled with understanding and sympathy. 'He can probably make a very good guess.' thought Draco bitterly.

"They started talking about Muggles and Mudbloods. Spouting out all that crap I used to believe in. I believed it because I trusted my father, you know? The more they drank, the more agitated they got. I could see things were going to get out of hand but what could I do? My father had told me to stay put. So I sat in a corner and watched it all happen. Just watched…" Draco sat down into his chair, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"One of the men, I'd never met him before, he apparated away. I thought he'd just gone home for the night; thought he was as fed up of hanging around with a load of drunk, potentially dangerous, middle-aged men as I was. But he came back. He brought a bundle with him which he untied and threw into the middle of the room. Everyone fell silent and I saw the excited looks on their faces, and knew I'd missed something. The most horrific dread built inside of me, and all I wanted to do was leave, but I couldn't. I was almost sick when I saw the bundle move and heard a sob.

It was a girl. She couldn't have been much older than I was. They took away her clothes and she was covered in bruises, there was blood between her legs. She tried to cover herself and begged to be left alone. The man who'd brought her announced that she was a Muggle and that they would use her as an example to all the others. The scariest thing about him was that he was stone cold sober. They all crowded around her, jeering and laughing at her nakedness. A bunch of drunk men, a young Muggle girl and me, too frightened to move or defend her." The tears were streaming down his cheeks now as the memories invaded. Snape stared on, seemingly impassive and unmoved.

"I sat and watched them torture that girl for close to an hour. They took it in turns to use whatever cruel or disgusting curses they knew. Death Eaters can be very creative you know. She was beaten and tortured to within an inch of her life, and they didn't even give her the dignity of death. They just dragged her away somewhere and dumped her. At some point she stopped crying and screaming, just lay there waiting for it to end. I've never seen someone so utterly broken. She looked at me, and there was no life in her eyes. I looked away. I sat and watched that because I was too scared. I didn't try to help her because I was too weak. I didn't say anything when they took her away. When my father returned to take me home, I didn't tell him what had happened either.

I don't want to be made to feel that helpless ever again sir. I don't want to turn into something like those people. I don't want Voldemort to succeed."

**********

"My father wants me to be initiated into the Death Eaters at once. He said that it's time for me to be a man." said Draco bitterly. He had regained his composure now; had put back the walls that had momentarily crumbled. "He said he won't rest until his son has received the Dark Mark; his birth right. I can see no way out of it. I know too much about their movements. To refuse the Mark would be, fatal to say the least. At least this way some good may come of it."

"Do you fully understand the consequences of what you are volunteering for?" asked Snape. 'Why does everyone keep asking me that? Do they think I've learnt nothing?'

"Yes. I will relay any and all information given to me about the movements and plans of attack. I will, if need be, relay false information back to them. I will become a Death Eater. I will stab my father in the back. I will turn away from everything I've ever known. If I am caught I will be killed and there will be no way for any of you to save me. I will receive no acknowledgement of the work I do for I must work in secrecy. I know what will be expected of me sir." Draco's voice was impassive. After the emotional outbursts of earlier, he felt numb; empty.

A haunted look cast over Snape's face, and again he was silent for a long time. Draco couldn't tell if he was thinking about what Draco had said, or was reminiscing on something completely different. Finally, in a quiet voice he barely recognised, Snape said,

"But do you think you are strong enough? The sights you witnessed were indeed terrible, but you will be subjected to much worse. You will be expected to join in. There will be tests to prove your loyalty. Are you prepared to do that? Are you prepared to pretend you are something you are not and do things that completely go against your principles? Are you that dedicated?"

"I'm aware of what I will have to do. I'll manage. I've been a fake most of my life, I'm good at it." 'I'm just not sure if my conscience won't kill me as well.' Snape then asked Draco the question he had been dreading.

"Why now Draco? This all happened so long ago." Draco took a deep breath and prepared to tell the only lie he would of the whole afternoon. He couldn't tell them about Harry.

"My father is pressurising me to come home. He is eager for me to receive the Mark. I've run out of time. I persuaded him to wait until the end of term, but I fear the initiation may begin over the holidays." 'In just over a week.' Draco shivered at the thought. Snape stared at him for a long time, and then nodded.

"Thank you for this Draco. I appreciate your honesty. I'm sure your help will be invaluable." Draco rose to leave.

"If you need to talk at any time, my door is open to you. I believe I have more knowledge of what you are expected to do than most. It will not be easy Draco, but don't let them break you. You must hold on to what is important to you and never let go." Draco nodded his thanks and quickly left the office, eager to get out of the oppressive atmosphere.

**********

As soon as Draco left Snape made his way to Dumbledore's office. As he walked he thought over everything Draco had told him. Memories of his own upbringing and his first exposure to the sordid world of Voldemort supporters threatened to resurface, but he pushed them back down forcing himself to think only of Draco. He was glad that his suspicions about the boy had been proved correct, as he had been trying to convince Dumbledore to approach him for months. However, he regretted greatly the ordeal which Draco had had to go through to reach the conclusions he had. He was also sure that Draco was hiding something. Something had happened recently; some change which had prompted his defection.

Dumbledore was pacing around his study as Snape entered, and he started at the interruption to his thoughts.

"Well?" he asked eagerly.

"He told me everything." said Snape, handing Dumbledore a small silvery ball. "The recording will tell you everything you need to know. Show it to the others, but don't make him repeat it to them. If they want proof it's all there. Don't make him go through it again."

"You still trust him?"

"Yes." Dumbledore sighed with a mixture of relief and sadness.

"Then it is done. He will help us."

"And probably die trying to save us all."

"We have no other choice and neither does he."

"There was something though. As you asked me to, I questioned him as to why now. I think he is holding something back. There's something that has prompted him to do this now. Do you have any theories?" Dumbledore cast his mind back to his conversation with Draco, a particular request came to mind.

"I never want Potter to find out about this."

Dumbledore had thought nothing of it at the time; had thought it was some twisted form of the Malfoy pride that Draco didn't want Harry to know. It would mean showing his weaker side. Could it mean more than that? Dumbledore had the nagging suspicion that he was missing something.

"No, not as yet. I'm sure all will become clear to us in the end though." he said, unwilling to voice his thoughts to Snape yet.

"When will you call the meeting?"

"Soon. It will have to be before the holidays so some time within the next week."

**********

Draco stared at himself in the mirror, taking in his pale reflection. He sighed and allowed himself to drown in his memories one final time. He saw his father, smiling as he held up his only sun on his shoulders. Draco was smiling and laughing as he stretched up his hands, trying to reach the sky. He'd asked his father what was up there, and he'd told him "Everything you will ever want." He saw soft loving touches and glances between his parents, from times long ago when they still cared. He saw his father again, alone and unaware of his watching son. Lucius sat in the dark at a piano, seemingly mesmerised by the hauntingly beautiful piece he was playing. Draco imagined that he saw a single tear fall from his closed eyes and trace its way down his father's cheek.

The images from his childhood come faster and faster; blurred around the edges. Then the memories of that night come to him; sharp and too real. He can still smell the blood, still hear the screams and taunting laughter. He can still feel the pain as his nails dug into his palm.

Then he saw Harry, kissing him. The most painful image of all. Light engulfed them as they drew apart, and Draco could hear the screams again. And this time he could hear his own voice, mingled with the screams of the nameless girl.

He closed his eyes and the memories faded as he bid farewell to his past.

**********

The white walls close in,

No thought can permeate what I have created.

As the door shuts, I hear the lock click,

Imaginary or not, it still sounds.

Escaping from its pull releases my true self,

But within I am…repressed.

The fulfilment is taken away

And all I am left with, is me.

My core self, complete with impurities.

Complete with memories of forever.

The burning fires surround me,

For this is my hell.

A/N: Thanks again for all the lovely reviews. I'm blushing. You're all too nice! I really should be working but this just keeps coming and coming! Oh well, sod the deadlines. lol!!

Reviews are always nice, but I'm not going to beg. (Please??)