Lucrecia
By Kimetara
6th and Final Interlude
Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to...a bunch of companies, not me.
Tifa shivered on the deck of the Highwind, rubbing her arms as slight goosebumps rose. She, Cloud, and Cait were going to scout the crater the Highwind had set down in, just incase there were any dangers lurking about.
Tifa sighed. Beyond the mountains was her childhood home, Nibelheim. She hadn't felt ready to sleep there again. Thankfully, nobody had minded setting down in this secluded crater instead.
She paused to watch the huge waterfall. It was really a breath-taking sight...
"Hey Tifa!" Cloud yelled. "C'mon, Cait and I are ready to go!"
"Coming!" she called back, sprinting down the ramp of the Highwind. Cloud grinned at her as Cait waved.
"Alright, everybody ready? Weapons, materia, armor all checked?" Cloud asked. Everybody nodded. "Okay then, let's mosey!"
"Wait." The trio's heads whipped around for the source of that deep voice.
"I will accompany you." Vincent flipped gracefully off the Highwind and strode purposely toward them.
The three exchanged a glance. Cloud cleared his throat, debating whether to argue for Vincent to stay or just let him come. There was no real need for him at the Highwind, and from the expression on the man's face Cloud could tell Vincent had no intention of being left behind. "...alright. Cait, stay with the Highwind. Vincent, come with us."
"Right, Cloud!" The toy waddled back to the airship. Apparently Cait hadn't felt like arguing either.
Tifa rose an eyebrow, this incident reminding her of something. *...oh! I remember now. The last time Vincent went against Cloud, it was right before the battle with Hojo. I wonder...*
"Vincent," Tifa spoke lowly as they walked behind Cloud, trying to keep herself from being heard.
"Hmm?"
"Is something wrong?"
Vincent didn't answer. Tifa had just about given up on getting a response, when... "I think I sense her."
"Her?"
"Lucrecia."
"Lucrecia?!" Tifa shot a shocked glance at Vincent. *The 'beautiful lady'? The woman of your 'great sin'?*
Vincent didn't bother replying.
"Hey! Tifa, Vincent!" Cloud motioned for them to come over. "Look. There's a cave behind this waterfall."
He glanced over them at that, and they checked that they were ready for any monsters. Caves tended to be favorite hiding places of such creatures.
After a cursory check, the three entered.
Tifa gasped. The inside of the cave was beautiful, the light shimmering off the walls in iridescent greens and blues. The air was cool, and misty.
"Vincent..."
Tifa started and looked around, seeking the owner of that longing whisper.
"Lucrecia?" Vincent ran forward into the cave. After a pause, Tifa and Cloud hurried quickly after him.
"Vincent?" A woman was standing there before them. She was very pretty, with coffee brown hair and striking blue eyes. Her eyes widened upon seeing them.
Tifa turned her gaze to Vincent. He was staring, a sort of wild disbelief etched on his face. "Lucrecia..." Vincent stepped forward, slowly at first, then began to run.
"Stay back!" The woman thrust out her arms in a forbidding motion. Vincent stopped as if frozen.
Tifa watched his expression intently, amazed as wave after wave of varying emotions and buried memories hit the fallen man as he stared at the woman. Shock, hope, longing, pain, desperation... Tifa wished with all her heart that she knew what he was thinking at that moment.
Slowly, Lucrecia's arms tightened around herself, until she was hugging her body as tightly as possible.
Tifa was blinded by a flash of white light. She blinked, the odd feeling of somebody had just taking a picture in her face shooting through her mind. Had it been a less serious moment, Tifa would have laughed at how absurd it was.
"No!" Vincent stumbled, falling to his knees. Tifa ran up to him.
"Vincent!" She grabbed his shoulder and leaned over him, worry clear in her expression. Worry Vincent didn't see, his crimson eyes wild. Tifa's cherry-brown orbs widened in shock at what she glimpsed in those blood depths, before Vincent flung his arm out, catching her in the stomach and throwing her to the ground away from him.
She opened her mouth in a silent gasp as she hit the floor, the breath knocked out of her. After lying dizzily on the ground for a few seconds, she became aware of Cloud kneeling over her.
"Tifa? Are you alright?" Cloud's voice echoed through her head. Slowly, she struggled to sit up.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she managed out, her chest still feeling oddly tight. Cloud sighed in relief.
He turned angrily to confront Vincent, but Tifa quickly grasped his wrist. "It's okay, Cloud. Vincent's got a lot of things on his mind." Indeed, he hadn't moved from his position on the floor, although now his arms were wrapped around his body. He was as still as stone.
Cloud frowned, but nodded and helped Tifa up. Wordlessly, the blond turned to leave the cavern. Tifa followed him.
At the entrance, he turned around. "Vincent, we'll be on the Highwind," Cloud announced curtly. Vincent might have been deaf for all the reaction he showed. Cloud shrugged and left.
Tifa paused at the entrance as well, glancing back at the fallen man behind her. She might have taken longer, but it tore at her too badly to see Vincent in such a state, and she left without a word.
It was dark, and they were still waiting for Vincent to reemerge. Tifa sat patiently on the deck of the Highwind, enjoying the chilly night air. *It hasn't changed from the old days.* she mused. The brunette tipped her head back, staring up at the vast array of stars in the sky.
*I remember the days when stars were magic...* "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." Tifa took a breath, thinking. Wishes, even ones that might never come true, were special and had to be treated as so. "I wish...everybody could be happy." *It doesn't seem like such a hard thing to wish for, does it?*
Tifa suddenly became aware of a presence nearing her. Turning to the left, she saw a moving silhouette outlined against the midnight blue sky. Seeing that it had been caught, the silhouette paused.
"Tifa..." Vincent trailed off, hesitant.
"It's alright, Vincent." The fighter smiled and stood, stretching herself out. "I know you didn't mean it."
"Still...I would like to apologize." He moved closer, still slightly wary.
Tifa nodded. "I accept."
Vincent frowned uncertainly. It seemed too easy – he had cast Tifa away from him, had physically hurt her, the only person who seemed to truly cared for his welfare. And she wanted nothing in compensation?
"Are you okay, Vincent?" Tifa asked gently, baffling him still further.
"...I'm fine." He turned his face away, trying to sort through his confusion.
"Alright then," Tifa sighed. She knew there was no point trying to get Vincent to talk when he didn't feel like it. "Shall we get some sleep? It's kind of late." She turned to head for the stairs.
"Wait." Tifa turned back, patiently doing as he asked.
Vincent settled himself against the wall, crossing him arms across his chest. "I...Lucrecia and I used to be in Shinra." His voice, for once, was rough, the words lacking their usual velvet touch.
Tifa nodded and sat back down, again wrapping her arms around her knees as she looked up at the dark figure. Her eyes had adjusted to point where she could distinguish Vincent from the wall, but hardly more than that.
"Was...she a Turk too?" Tifa questioned hesitantly, after a long pause.
"No!" The word burst forward, uncharacteristically violent. Tifa jolted and glanced up at him, startled.
"No," Vincent repeated again, slightly calmer. "Lucrecia was never a Turk. She would never take a life, especially," Vincent's eyes darkened, "for something as petty as money or reputation."
"I see," Tifa responded softly, her eyes going back down to her own hands. She had caught the note of self-disgust in his voice, and knew the statement was directed at himself, but at the same time...it hurt her as well. *Not now. Focus on Vincent.* "What did she do for Shinra then?"
"Lucrecia...was a scientist. A lab assistant." Vincent's voice turned cold. "Hojo's lab assistant."
Tifa's eyes widened. "Oh..."
"Lucrecia became pregnant," Vincent continued flatly. "It was forbidden for her, with access to Shinra's most coveted files, to have outside contact beyond her workstation. Hojo made her a bargain." Vincent swallowed.
All of a sudden, Tifa was on her feet. "No, Vincent." Tifa spoke with an oddly frantic note. "Don't tell me this if it's too hard for you," she implored.
Her words seemed to go right over him. "Hojo told her that he would validate her pregnancy if she participated in the JENOVA project. Lucrecia agreed." Tifa bit her lip worriedly, wishing she could see his face better. Impulsively, she moved closer. Vincent didn't even seem to notice. "He told everybody that it was for an experiment. And it was. Three months into her pregnancy, Hojo injected Jenova cells into her womb."
"It created Sephiroth."
A sharp intake of breath was Tifa's only reaction. Her attention was completely concentrated on Vincent.
"Sephiroth, Project JENOVA, was a success. Who cared what happened to the vessel after the experiment was done?" Vincent spoke bitterly, his hands unnoticeably clenching into fists. "She died. Or at least..." his eyes traveled to the entrance of the cave, hidden in the night. "At least...I believed she died," he murmured.
This was one of those times Tifa wished desperately that she could see Vincent's face. "Vincent..."
"It doesn't matter," his voice was surprisingly cynical, at least surprising to Tifa – she had become so accustomed to his poetic, soothing baritone. "Lucrecia has no wish to see me, obviously."
The bitterness in his voice caused Tifa to shake her head violently. "Don't punish yourself, Vincent." Tifa bit her lip. "It wasn't your fault."
"It was." He had returned to his monotone, but Tifa knew how thin that cover was.
"No-"
"It was!" Vincent flared, swinging his blood-red gaze to Tifa's face. "It was my fault. Perhaps not entirely, but for the most part. I should have never been involved with her. I should have simply let her live her life and kept myself in mine."
"And then," he raged, "at the one time when I should have interfered, I ran away. I ran away!" He strode over to Tifa's shocked form, until he was standing right in front of her, glaring down at her upturned face. "It is my fault Lucrecia agreed to being part of Project JENOVA. She did so for my safety." He took a deep breath.
"And when she told me that our relationship was over," Vincent continued softly, "I was too consumed by my own pain to recognize hers. I never even asked why she ended it. And I left her. I left her to Hojo," his voice shook. "Hojo, the craziest, vilest person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. By the time I realized what had happened, it was too late."
Self-loathing forced Vincent to look away from Tifa. "Now you know." His voice came out as a choked whisper. "Now, do you understand why my sins weigh so heavily upon me? Why it is fitting that I share my body with demons? Why I am no better than they? Do you understand?" his voice rose, demanding and desperate.
The only response he received was silence. Vincent closed his eyes, readying himself for Tifa's revulsion. The idea of being hated – again – by somebody he cared for tore through him, but... *It's nothing more than what I deserve.*
Abruptly, his eyes jerked open. He was shocked when he felt Tifa's arms wrapping cautiously under his cloak, around his waist. She hugged him gently, quietly stroking his back.
Vincent looked down at her in disbelief. *What...?*
"I understand," Tifa's soothing voice drifted to Vincent's ears, "that you are a very kind, mature, passionate man, who feels very deeply for those he loves. I also understand," her eyes turned up to lock with his, "that you need to learn how to forgive yourself."
"Vincent," Tifa continued carefully. "How were you to know that Lucrecia was being manipulated by Hojo? How could you have predicted the outcome of your actions?" Her eyes reflected the seriousness of which she was speaking. "You only did what was natural, for any person. You are not to blame," she finished firmly. "Besides...you should never regret loving somebody."
Vincent stared at her, his mouth working silently. "I..." he faltered, then cleared his throat. "I thank you for your forgiveness, Tifa."
She tilted her head to the side. "There's nothing to forgive. But I'm sure that if there is, Lucrecia forgave you a long time ago."
Vincent's eyes darkened. Tifa shook her head empathetically. "I mean it, Vincent. I saw how she looked at you."
"She ran away from me." He shuddered, pulling slightly out of Tifa's hold. "You saw how...she left me."
The martial artist felt a burst of protectiveness at how vulnerable Vincent was at this moment. "I'm sure she had her own reasons for leaving. After all," Tifa added wryly, "she is supposed to be dead, isn't she?"
Vincent gazed back at the waterfall. "Yes...she is," he mused. "Maybe..." The longing in his voice was nearly tangible.
Tifa tilted her head. "Why don't you go back tomorrow morning?" she suggested. "Maybe Lucrecia will be there again, and this time you two can talk. It seemed she was just as shocked to see you as you were to see her."
"How do I know she doesn't despise me?" Vincent asked, almost sounding forlorn. So exposed. Her protectiveness came back at full strength.
"Vincent," she took a deep breath, "women do not normally call the names of men they despise in that tone." Tifa's smile was bittersweet. "Trust me. Go see her again in the morning. What do you have to lose?"
He nodded slowly, looking down at her. "I...thank you once more, Tifa."
She shook her head and smiled. "What're friends for?"
*Friends...now there's an odd thought...* Vincent suddenly noticed that Tifa had not removed her arms from his torso yet. The realization made him both stiffen and...and what?
Tifa glanced up. "Something wrong, Vincent?"
His eyes locked with hers. *Strange...* His thought drifted hazily. *What...?* Her eyes were beautiful, clear and kind, amber and ruby.
Before he realized what he was doing, Vincent wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Tifa's eyes widened in surprise, and she grinned embarrassedly with pleasure. Hastily, she let him go and took a small step back, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
"Thank you, Vincent," she told him, delight clear in her voice. Vincent nearly smiled.
"It's nothing. Come," he noticed her shiver slightly, "it is late, and the coldest hour of the night is nearly upon us."
Tifa nodded and followed him down beneath the deck of the Highwind.
It was morning, and a clear sunny one at that. Vincent looked oddly out of place as he stood over the railing, the breeze blowing gently around him.
"Hey Vince." Cid stepped up behind him, chewing on his cigar. He never smoked it, just chewed.
"Gum would be preferable to cigars." Now where had that come from?
Apparently Cid had the same thought, because instead of being annoyed he just grinned. "Feeling concerned, eh?"
"..."
Cid chuckled. "Yeah, I'm giving it up after this quest is over. I'm not gonna get all soft and wheezing like those geezers."
Vincent gave a barely noticeable nod, still staring towards the waterfall.
"So, Vinny," Cid took a puff, "what happened in that hole anyway? Cloud looked pissed as hell, and Tifa was up here waiting for you all night." Cid's shrugged. "Poor girl. Wiped herself clean out, she's still sleeping in her room."
"It was nothing," Vincent stated. *Tifa...* She shouldn't have worn herself out for him. He wasn't worth it.
"Yeah? Didn't damn well seem like nothing." Cid watched him from the corner of his eye.
"I was," Vincent repeated coldly, fixing his gaze on the pilot. Cid blinked, looked down, and muttered something before stomping over to examine what one of his staff was doing.
It was nothing. Vincent pushed Tifa's compassion, her embrace to the back of his mind. She didn't understand; he was the monster he always believed himself to be. She simply didn't see it. Besides, it was just in her nature to be kind. It didn't mean-
"Vincent."
-a single thing. Vincent turned around.
Cloud stood behind him, his voice stern and his eyes cold. The hero's feet were planted firmly as he appraised the dark man.
"Cloud," Vincent acknowledged calmly. He wasn't the least surprised at Cloud's anger. In a way, it was comforting. Cloud understood.
Cloud crossed his arms. "Did you apologize to Tifa?"
"I did."
"Good. You know," he continued, "she was up until God knows when waiting for you." His words were pointed, reproving. Vincent took it calmly. "She's a great friend, and an even greater person."
Vincent nodded, wondering when Cloud would get to the point.
"So you better not hurt her anymore."
Inside Vincent flared at the hidden accusation. "I have no intention of doing so," he replied smoothly. "Tifa has been extremely kind to me, more than I deserve. I will not allow any harm to come to her that can be prevented." Vincent stopped abruptly, feeling for some reason he had said too much.
Cloud nodded and uncrossed his arms, accepting Vincent's response. He even appeared slightly pleased. "Okay Vincent." Cloud grinned, as if he had some private joke. Vincent felt faintly irritated. "I trust you." Cloud turned to go.
"However, Cloud," Vincent's admonitory tone caught the blond, "I would advise you to listen to your own words."
Cloud cocked his head. "What do you mean?"
Vincent looked away, considering. It was not his place to say, but... "Tread delicately. Tifa is more fragile than you believe."
Cloud seemed puzzled. "Uhh...sure. If you say so, Vince."
"Also," Vincent continued quickly, "I...need to leave for a moment. I will be back shortly."
"Alright. Be careful."
Vincent walked cautiously through the cave. It was still beautiful, the lights playing off the cold walls, but he didn't notice. Frankly, at this point he didn't care.
He had come back to find forgiveness.
Perhaps he hadn't served his penance yet, not fully. But he wished to know...had to know...
Was he forgiven?
His walk was slow, uncertain. Would he be able to accept the answer?
The altar was empty. For a second, Vincent wasn't sure whether to be crushed or relieved, when something glimmered on the ground.
A magnificent gun. And a syringe.
Vincent knelt down and stroked the gun gently. It was the finest he'd seen. ...Death Penalty... The name whispered through his mind. He didn't try to find out where it had come from.
And then...there was the syringe. It glimmered there, coldly. Vincent picked it up with his claw, barely keeping himself from flinching. So many memories kept in these little vials...in this clear, bubble-less liquid. So many nightmares.
He turned it over in his palm.
CHAOS was printed in dark silver letters on the side.
Vincent smiled bitterly. A fitting name.
He had a hunch, a premonition, of what this vial contained. For a long while, he had been aware of a fourth being in his body, but out of his mind's reach. In all truth, the lack of control frightened him. The monster was dormant, yes, but if it arose, there was no way for Vincent to control it as he did with the other three. And one day, he knew it would arise on its own account.
Vincent shuddered. When the Galian Beast had first awakened, Vincent nearly tore a building down and set a house afire. Death Gigas had shut down the electricity of the town for over a week, and electrocuted nine people. Hellmasker... When Vincent regained control over his body, he was standing over the mutilated remains of three people. Mutilated. Heads chopped off, limbs chopped off, stomachs slashed...the memory alone nearly made Vincent vomit. Each time, one of these little vials had been what gave him control.
Who knew what this one would do unrestrained?
Slowly, methodically, Vincent injected the fluid into his arm, before dropping the empty syringe.
Spasms ripped through his body. Grimly, Vincent forced himself to be still, trying to keep from writhing. A new consciousness floated and joined his mind, as another part of his humanity was lost.
*Hello Chaos.*
"Hi Vincent!" Tifa waved at him, grinning as he walked up the ramp onto the Highwind. "How are you?"
"Fine," Vincent replied stoically, before asking, "Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you." Tifa's expression shifted abruptly to concern. "You're sure you're okay, Vincent?"
"..." Vincent stared flatly at her. Tifa looked back, waiting, ignoring the hint of challenge in his eyes.
After a few moments, he blinked, surprised she had held his gaze for so long. Most people turned away immediately.
"I am...better than before," Vincent answered finally, turning away from her.
Tifa nodded. She knew that to press Vincent any further would be treading on thin ice. "That's good. Hey Vincent?"
"Yes?" It was more of a sigh than a question. Obviously he was wondering how long she would keep interrogating him.
Tifa smiled, moved up to him, and hugged him around the waist. "You are a very wonderful person, so don't beat yourself up too much." She let go, smoothed her skirt, then grinned and walked away.
Vincent watched her go. If anybody had paid enough attention, they would have seen the fleeting glimpse of affection in his eyes.
AN: Well, this was longer than I expected...but hey, this is the first multi-part I've finished! ^_^;; Actually, I would have posted this sooner but ff.net wouldn't let me upload... Well, the prequel to "Red roses mean love" is officially complete. Please R&R – and for all the people who asked, I have been working on both RRML and JWT. I'm hoping to start RRML back up as soon as finals are over. JWT will be on hiatus though; I'd like to finish (or at least get much further) the story before I begin updating again.
I apologize to everybody who's been waiting for me to update. I think that from now on, I won't post a multi-chapter fanfiction until after I finish it. Well...thank you to everybody who has continued reading my stories!
