DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters mentioned and I'm not making any money out of this. Only the plot is mine.
WARNING: This fan fic contains slash themes, which is male/male relationships. If homosexual themes bother you, don't read this.
Rated: R
THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER!!!!
Chapter 14
Sounds echo, their beauty marred by violence. Pain explodes as useless screams are emitted. The sinful harmonies carry on and the silence degrades.
A need is awakened by the eternal repetition. A need for movement and change. A need to break the endless cycle.
Life and death; the primal struggle. We spend life seeking for a meaning in death; one more circle that we never realise. We are born, we create, we love, we die. Pain is a mere stepping stone we use to achieve an ending. It goes on…
Trembling fingers soothe the agony, offering comfort and solace. But there is nothing we can do. When the end is near, there is nothing we can do but make it worthwhile.
Blood of the enemy, taken by the lover and given to the dark. Freedom, truth, love. Pain, guilt, shame. A cycle is ending.
**********
There was complete silence in the hall except for the chanting of Wormtail, who was standing beside Voldemort. There was a white ball of light surrounding the two, acting like a force-field, and Wormtail seemed to be the one holding it up. He looked pale and shaky, as though the effort of maintaining the spell was draining him of all energy. Voldemort seemed oblivious to the panic he was causing.
"Well, it seems you weren't expecting me were you?" asked Voldemort nastily. He held up his left hand, on the first finger was a large silver ring. Dumbledore paled at the sight of it.
"No." he whispered.
"But yes, Albus. You didn't think it still existed did you? And now there's nothing you can do to stop me because young Mr Malfoy was so nice to provide me with this." Voldemort held the vial of Harry's blood in his other hand and uncorked it.
Voldemort closed his eyes and began to chant in a language that nobody in the hall except Dumbledore understood. He began to sway and he seemed to be outlined by a red light. The blood began to boil, giving off a red steam which rose and surrounded the ring. The vapour turned green, and there was an explosion of light and sparks, that engulfed everyone.
Every single person in the hall fell to their knees as the pain hit them. Terrible, burning pain that made them feel as though their insides were being torn apart; ripped from their bodies.
**********
Harry was one of the first back on his feet, fighting the urge to vomit as the pain ripped through his head. He saw that the force-field that had been protecting Voldemort and Wormtail had collapsed, Wormtail had sunk to the floor looking pale with exhaustion. Without thinking, he pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it straight at Voldemort.
"Harry. No!" Dumbledore said sharply, picking himself up from the floor. "There's no point Harry, he's taken our magic. Your wand won't work." Voldemort smiled smugly around him.
Everyone stared at Dumbledore, looking for an explanation. He sighed deeply, looking extremely tired and old. Shadows fell across his face as he began to speak, accentuating every wrinkle and line.
"That ring was designed by the ancient Greeks. They were the most powerful wizards ever known. Their strength came through knowledge and reason. They studied our kind, seeking the reason for our existence; for the reason that some humans possess a magical power whilst others don't. They sought, and found, the magical source which bides in every person here. It is in our blood; our life force.
This ring is a by-product of that discovery. With the blood of a mortal enemy, and the correct incantation, it temporarily blocks the magical powers of all in the close vicinity but the wearer." At this news, there was a gasp from the surrounding students, and they began whispering to each other. Dumbledore ignored this and carried on.
"The knowledge which the Greek wizards uncovered was deemed too dangerous and the majority of it was destroyed. Supposedly this ring also. Apparently, we were wrong." Harry lowered his wand. "So you see Harry, we are all defenceless."
Voldemort laughed, a horrible sound which echoed in the near silence.
"As interesting as the history lesson was Albus, I do have a reason for being here. You always did talk too much." Dumbledore ignored the sarcastic tone.
"How did you get past the wards Tom?" Voldemort laughed again.
"Oh Albus, you think you're so clever. Did you think I wasted my time since I returned? There is so much uncovered knowledge out there you know. Dark secrets just waiting to be told. Like an ancient spell for a force-field which will repel and neutralise every spell but the Killing Curse perhaps?" he smirked and turned his attention away from Dumbledore. His gaze drifted over the students, who were staring at him fearfully. His eyes stayed briefly on Harry, then Draco, but he said nothing.
"Wormtail!" he snapped, disgust clear in his voice. "Stop lounging around on the floor you lazy lump!" He kicked the man on the floor by his side, who grunted and managed to sit up slightly, coughing. "Unfortunately, the force-field spell is exceedingly draining to maintain, so Wormtail here had the honour of performing it." Voldemort let his gaze travel once more, and this time it focussed on Harry, who was staring at him with pure, unadulterated hate. Harry flinched as their eyes locked, holding a hand to his scar, and Voldemort chuckled.
**********
A voice cries out, shattering the peace I have created. The shards of my life fall at my feet. I see happiness, love, my future, separated and destroyed.
This is what I was afraid of; this is why I tried to stay away. I've betrayed you. A sharp pain, a scream, a flash of light. Everything comes to an end. Everything dies.
The hair rises on my skin, the same skin which you made burn. You marked me as your own, without knowing that I'd already been sold. I wanted what we had to be pure, but I taint everything; even you.
I wish I had control over this. My whole life I've been controlled by other people. My actions have all been dictated by circumstance. Even now, at the moment of most bitter betrayal, when I've betrayed everyone, people are still telling me what to do. When do I get to control my future?
Happy ending. Happy ending. Happy ending. When do I get my fucking happy ending?
**********
Voldemort turned his back on the now defenceless students and staff, and surveyed the remains of the doors to the Great Hall. With a flick of his wand, the charred and battered wood was replaced by an impenetrable, metal door. He sighed with satisfaction at his handiwork and returned his attention to those around him, who were staring in muted horror.
"Draco?" You have served me well my boy. I knew you would." Draco jerked at the sound of his name. He remained silent but turned to Harry who was staring at him with confusion and betrayal, tinged with disgust.
"Come and stand with me Draco. There is no more need to hide your true self now." said Voldemort, beckoning Draco over. As he walked slowly towards Voldemort, Draco thought upon the irony of that statement. 'There's more of a need to hide than ever.'
He could hear the students around him whispering. He caught phrases such as, '…always knew…', '…just like his father…', '…what else should we have expected?' He had to fight not to hang his head in shame. He saw the other members of his house staring at him, Pansy had a look of jealousy on her face that made Draco feel physically ill.
'What do I do?' he thought desperately. He looked to Harry, used to finding comfort there now, but Harry didn't seem to be able to even look at him. Dumbledore and Snape were both still staring at Voldemort, seemingly stunned. 'What do I do now?'
**********
I trusted you, more than anyone I ever trusted in my entire life. How could I have been so wrong? How could all of this have been a lie?
Even now, as you walk to take your place beside him, I can't believe it. How could I have not seen this coming? The people around me are muttering, saying that of course you're with him. You've always been evil, so vocal about your opinions. But that's wrong, because this year you've been different. You've been quiet, restrained, solitary. I thought you'd changed. You're not supposed to be with him, you're supposed to be mine. Was all this just an elaborate lie to get close to me? Part of another plot to kill me? Well you've done a good job of it yourself. Voldemort will be disappointed to find out that you've already destroyed me.
Why couldn't I have just stayed away from you?
I'm looking at you, but I don't know who you are. You look so calm and confident, but I swear I can see fear in your eyes. Maybe I'm just hoping. You don't look right standing next to him, you should be over here with me.
This can't be real. This can't be real. This can't be real.
My heart has exploded and is showering everyone with pain.
You love me…don't you? You wouldn't do this to me…would you?
**********
"What are you doing here Tom?" Dumbledore asked coldly. "What do you want?" Voldemort's eyes flicked back to Dumbledore.
"Now Albus, you know that's not my name anymore." His tone was dangerous. "I would have thought that the reason for my being here would be obvious. I'm here to take Mr Potter for a little trip. I thought I'd take Draco here with me as well. His father will be delighted to see him." Draco, now standing beside Voldemort, had paled at the idea of leaving Hogwarts and he looked pleadingly at Dumbledore.
"You can't take them. I won't let you."
"How do you think you're going to stop me Albus?" said Voldemort scornfully. "Besides, Draco wants to come with me. Tonight he will receive the Dark Mark."
**********
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of always having to fight; of having to think ten steps ahead. Life shouldn't be a chess match. I'm sick of analysing what people say and trying to work out what they actually mean.
I'm old and I feel as though I've been afraid all my life. I don't think I'm afraid of dying anymore. Death would bring such release for me, but I can't because there are things I have to do.
I never used to care about other people. I was young, indestructible, and other people could go and jump. Now, I look around me and it tires me. I see people making the same mistakes I did; destroying their lives like I did out of simple misguided trust. I see honest people taken advantage of. I see people who strive for happiness, trodden down by circumstance. I see history repeating itself over and over, and I'm tired.
It's time for me to step out of the shadows.
**********
"No!" Snape suddenly shouted rushing forwards. Dumbledore had to restrain him by pulling back on his arms.
"Severus, don't do this. You know what he will do to you. There's nothing we can do and he knows it." Dumbledore whispered in his ear.
"I don't care anymore Albus!" Snape shouted. "I won't let him take either of them, especially not Draco."
"Excuse me?" said Voldemort, taken aback. "I would have thought that you of all people would be proud of one of the members of your beloved house receiving my mark. Considering your own behaviour." The students that were still in the hall were watching this exchange like a tennis match, their heads going back and forth as they tried to work out what was going on.
"He's too young! I will not sit by and watch you ruin any more lives! He doesn't deserve it. I won't sit by and watch you do to him what you did to me!"
"And what, exactly, did I do to you that was so terrible?" asked Voldemort quietly. He seemed to be enjoying himself.
"You destroyed me! You filled me with so much hatred and I was too stupid to see what was happening until it was too late. You're disgusting."
"Aah, the turncoat finally shows his true colours. I wondered how long it would take you. Did you honestly think I would ever trust you again? Did you really think I would believe a word that came out of your lying mouth? I just gave you all those tests because I liked watching you suffer." Snape blanched. 'Oh my God…' he thought. 'How could I have been so stupid?'
"You bastard!" he shouted. "I've watched you destroy so much. I should have done more. I saw you consumed by power and hatred, it even seduced me at first. I was foolish. Then I was just too afraid to leave. My entire life has been tainted by the hateful dogma you instilled in me. I refuse to let you drag that boy down with you." Draco had remained silent until now, but he realised that Snape had lost control. He had forgotten that he was unarmed and that Voldemort wouldn't think twice before casting the Killing Curse on him.
Inside, Draco was crying again.
"Professor Snape?" he said quietly. Everybody turned to look at him.
"Yes Draco?" Snape asked, taking deep breaths in an attempt to stay calm.
"While I appreciate your concern, I've made my choice. I belong with Voldemort." Snape's eyes filled with horror as he realised what Draco was doing.
"No. Draco you don't have to do this! Think about what you're doing. This is your life!" he cried desperately. Draco found he couldn't keep eye contact with Snape so he looked away, his gaze falling on Harry. Harry was staring at him as though he'd only just seen him. 'Will he realise what I'm doing? Or will he think I'm like my father like everyone else in this room does? Will he trust me?' He tried to look pleading without giving anything away. Dumbledore was the only one who noticed.
"As you can see, Draco has made his choice Severus." said Voldemort smugly. Snape's shoulders had fallen and he hung his head, defeated. "However, I will save you the trouble of having to watch it happen." Draco stared incredulously at Voldemort who had raised his wand against the defenceless man. Snape looked up, resignation on his face. 'He knew this would happen!' thought Draco. He looked to Dumbledore, begging him with his eyes to do something. Dumbledore was staring at Voldemort.
"Tom, don't-" he began.
"Shut up Albus." Voldemort snapped. "For once in your life, keep your nose out of something that is none of your damn business! Avada Kedavra!" Draco looked away, but still heard the thud of Snape's body hitting the floor. 'Oh God this is my fault. He was trying to protect me!' He turned back and numbly looked at his dead teacher, then turned to look at Voldemort again.
"He was my teacher." he said faintly.
"Yes." said Voldemort. "And he was a traitor to our cause. You see what happens to people who betray me Draco?" Draco looked towards Harry again, who was still staring straight at him, tears pouring down his face.
"Yes." he whispered. "I see."
**********
This is real. I know you. This is what I saw in your eyes before that scared me; this is what has been hurting you; this is what you were hiding from me. A double life.
Oh God Draco, what have you done? You couldn't just stay out of things could you? But then, I suppose you weren't really given much of a choice.
I understand now. The pain; it's written all over your face. Is this what you were going to tell me tonight? I can see why you wanted to protect me from yourself so much. You didn't want to drag me into this with you. I think that makes me love you more than ever.
It's so obvious now I can't believe I didn't see it before. Of course you would be put in this position; I just didn't think it would be this soon.
Snape knew; that's why he was trying to save you. Dumbledore knows; he keeps looking from you to me. I think he knows about us too.
Did you tell them everything? Everything that you were too afraid to tell me?
What did you have to do?
I hate this. I hate what this has done to us both. I hate that you've had to pretend and face things I can't even imagine; or maybe just don't want to. I hate that this made me doubt your love for me and whether I was wise to trust you. I hate that this is what made you doubt the strength of our love. Most of all, I hate that you just had to stand by and watch your favourite teacher murdered. God, the pain in your eyes. I wish I could take it away.
My tears are for you Draco. I'm so sorry that it had to be this way. I'm sorry for both of us.
Why does this have to be our life? Why can't we just be together in peace and not have to worry about stupid insane murderers destroying everything?
I hate this.
**********
Harry stared from Snape's body, to Dumbledore, to Draco. The guilt washed over him. 'Has all this really happened just so that Voldemort can kill me? Why am I so important?' He took a step forwards, but found his arms restrained. He glanced back and saw both Ron and Hermione looking at him.
"No Harry. Don't." said Hermione. Harry was confused, why were they stopping him?
"Don't you see that I have to?"
"No, you don't Harry. This doesn't have anything to do with you. It's about Malfoy." said Ron.
"No. This is about me. It always has been and it always will be until one of us is dead. And Draco, he's important to me Ron. He's everything to me." The realisation of what Harry was saying hit Ron, and he released his arm as though he had been stung.
"Him?" he hissed. "That's who it is? Harry, how could you?" Hermione was looking confused, glancing at Draco.
"Yes him, and it's because I love him. You once said it didn't matter who it was Ron, just that they made me happy. Well Draco makes me happier than anyone else ever has. He's not like his father, just trust me. Please?" Ron looked away, so Harry turned to Hermione. She closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them again, there were tears.
"I understand Harry. I know what love can do to a person. How it can drive you mad. Go and help him Harry." Harry nodded as she released his arm as well, and he began walking slowly towards Dumbledore, Voldemort and Draco, all of whom were oblivious to the altercation which had gone on.
Dumbledore appeared stunned, as though he couldn't quite believe what Voldemort had done. As Harry reached them, Voldemort was the first to notice.
"Voldemort." Harry spat. Draco was staring at him, confused and afraid, whilst Voldemort's eyes narrowed.
"Harry Potter."
"Harry, don't." said Dumbledore quickly, turning his eyes to Voldemort he carried on. "There will be no more blood shed in front of my students." Harry ignored him.
"You want me? Well here I am. Go on, kill me!" he shouted, sounding more confident than he felt. 'Anything to get his attention away from Draco.' He heard a muffled sob from Hermione, but he didn't turn to see. Voldemort laughed.
"Oh no, that's too easy. I have some people for you to meet first."
"No!" shouted Dumbledore. "Stop this now!" He moved to stand between Harry and Voldemort; protecting him.
"Get out of my way Albus, there's nothing you can do."
"You can't take him. He's a defenceless young boy Tom. Think about what you're doing!"
"Stop fucking calling me that!" Voldemort screamed. As they were fighting, Harry looked at Draco. His face was pale and drawn, and he looked perilously close to tears. The calm exterior was faltering and Harry didn't think he'd seen him look more vulnerable. He needed to be strong more than ever now if any of them were going to survive. With his eyes, Harry tried to tell him what he was thinking.
'It's OK, I know. I know you. I know this isn't you. If I didn't know before, the look on your face when he killed Snape told me more than enough. Be strong for me. Hold on to me. I trust you. I trust you.'
Harry couldn't tell if Draco got the message, but his eyes hardened and he looked away. Voldemort had raised his wand again and was still screaming at Dumbledore. Harry had a sudden sense of fore-boding.
"I'm not Tom Riddle anymore! I am Lord Voldemort! I am strong, powerful, almighty. I have cheated death! I am Lord Voldemort, bow to your lord!"
"I should have done more for you Tom. I should have been able to protect you." said Dumbledore sadly. This only incensed Voldemort more.
"Don't pretend you ever cared! I was a Slytherin. Even now you neglect them!" Sparks were flying from the end of his wand, and Dumbledore flinched. "Now get out of my way!" He pushed Dumbledore roughly and he fell to the floor. Voldemort grabbed Harry's arm, who almost screamed as pain shot once again through his scar. He saw Draco reach for him and straightened up, giving him a warning glance. It wouldn't do to break his cover now. Too much was at stake.
"Wormtail!" Voldemort screeched. "Get off the floor, we're leaving." Harry felt the urge to kick the rat-like man where he lay moaning on the floor, but resisted. Dumbledore was gingerly picking himself off of the floor.
"Tom, please-" he begged.
"Goodbye Albus. Say farewell to your Golden boy. It's the last time you'll ever see him." Dumbledore stared at Harry, and Harry gasped. In the eyes of the only man he had ever trusted; the only man who always seemed able to put things right, he saw defeat. He saw Ron and Hermione struggling to reach him, but they were being held back by the other Gryffindors. The last thing he saw before Voldemort transported them away, were the tears that were streaming down both of their faces.
**********
Hello darkness my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
The Sound of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel
A/N: Sorry for the wait! I know it's mean leaving you all hanging like that! I'm warning you that there'll be a wait for the last chapter and epilogue which I'll post together cos I've still got sodding exams!!
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! Sorry but I don't have time to write any responses, just know that I really appreciate it!!!
