Song-Fic – Haunted by Evanescence

Disclaimer: The song doesn't belong to be, obviously. I just wrote up some stuff that isn't in the italics. Oh and Evanescence rocks!

Summary: Some of Buffy's thoughts after Seeing Red. It doesn't sound like Buffy, I know. It's kind of poetic. :P

A/N: Buffy POV, if you were wondering. I was just listening to this last night and I knew I had to try something out with this. It's my first song-fic so please gimme all the feedback I can get!

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Long lost words, whisper slowly, to me.

Still can't find what keeps me here.

When all this time I've been so hollow inside.

I find myself lingering around your crypt. Where you would be sitting in your dusty old chair, waiting. Waiting for me. I put my hand on the cold crypt, to feel you. I stand there, searching for your presence. But it's not there. You're not there. You left me. I don't know why I come here, I don't know why I try. I find myself here every night, hoping that you'll be there.

Watching me, wanting me.

I can feel you pull me down,

Fearing you, loving you.

I won't let you pull me down.

I see you, you watch me. Lurking around my tree, the tree where you sit and watch me. You make me feel so alive; you were there when I needed you most. You didn't ask any questions, you just did as you were told. Because you love me. Oh Spike, why do you love me? I can't love you. I just can't. I look out the window once more. And you're not there. You've vanished.

Hunting you, I can smell you – alive,

Your heart pounding in my head.

I stand in front of your crypt. I know you know I'm here. You know what I'm here for. Make me feel alive. I see the candles flickering in the distance, in your home. I hear your words in my head. "I love you." "I'm drowning in you Summers." Your love, it scares me. I can hear you, screaming in my head. I want to give myself to you, to feel, to love. But I can't. You've broken your promise and you've left me here alone. You've left me to die inside.

Watching me, wanting me,

I can feel you pull me down.

Saving me, raping me,

Watching me.

I could feel you. I used to feel that tingling in the back of my neck when you're around. But it's gone. Along with the cigarettes, the whiskey, and those cutting remarks. I know it was my fault, too. I pushed you too far. I remember when I sat there in the bathroom thinking of what I did. I sat there thinking of what happened to you, what happened to me. You were just convenient. I could still be with you and not love you. That was enough for me. I guess that wasn't enough for you.

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Did I forget to mention the review button just over yonder?