Please see chapter 1 for the disclaimer, oh, and don't forget to review!!

Prank central (i.e. Scott's Classroom)

I was sat at the back of the classroom and a far away from the Brady Bunch as I could be, to avoid any flashbacks and the devastating effects they could have on my nervous state. Everyone had a shot glass and a vodka bottle full of water on our desk. Scott and Jean eyed the bottles suspiciously but choose to ignore them.

"Today…." Scott began

"SPEAK UP YOUR MUMBLING" I yelled at him

"R..rrr..right"

We each took a shot of 'vodka'.

"Today lesson will be focusing on…"

"WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU!" I yelled

"Ww…Why don't you speak closer to the front" Scott stuttered

We all took another 'shot'.

"I CANT I'M SCOUTING THE ROOM FOR ASSASINS" I yelled at him

"O…Okay."

Another 'shot'.

Jean stepped in (she was definitely Medusa at that moment) "Why do you keep taking shots of Vodka" she asked angrily.

Jubilee shrugged "It makes the lesson more interesting."

"Well can't you see that you're making poor Scott a nervous wreck?"

"FIRE! FIRE!" Kat screamed after setting her notebook on fire for the 3rd time in the last 2 days before running out of the room in a panic, needless to say we all ran out screaming.

I hung back and looked at Scott accusingly "I know what you are and I'm biding my time!" I then ran after the others.

In the kitchen 2 hours later.

For the 2nd day in a row I put toast in the toaster without the toaster being plugged in "Bloody toaster, doesn't serve it purpose, should be punished" I mumbled under my breath after popping the normal bread out from the toaster.

"You know the toaster would work a lot better if you actually plugged it in!" Scott helpfully suggested from the doorway.

"YOU of all people should know the dangers o toasters. They are a fire risk and can not be trusted I would of thought you would of understood that after today's accident. Do you know how many people die from fire started by toasters?" I asked him angrily.

"You're right I'm sorry" Scott walked over to where Kat was making a bloodlike red milkshake and looked into the Hamsters cage next to her "Where's the Hamster?" He asked her.

She looked at him innocently "I was curious"

The Girls bedroom

"What the hell is that?" I said pointed at the offending item on the floor

"Jean brought it" Mel replied

"What is it? Some kind of mechanical elephant?"

"No I believe it's a vacuum cleaner, to pick mess up of the floor"

"Ooohhhh!" Me, Kat and Jubes walked around it curiously yet cautiously

"Well I refuse to stay in the same room as…as…THAT!!" I announced as I looked at it in fear before storming out of the room.

3 Hours later

I poked my head cautiously around the bedroom door and looked at Ev who was betraying us by doing Scott's homework.

"Has it gone yet?" I whispered

"No"

I ran…I ran like the wind.

The next day

I opened the bedroom door a crack

"Psst! It gone!" I asked cautiously

"Yes Jean came in and fetched it this morning" Mel informed me without looking up from her book.

"Well in that case I think we should go out and celebrate" I announced

The girls all look up excitedly.

"I know a bar that will serve anyone even mutants" Jubilee announced triumphantly

"That settled then! But how are we going to get past the Brady Bunch" Evelyn asked

"Just leave that to your fearless leader!" I announced

"She didn't say that when the Hoover was in the bedroom" Jube's whispered to Mel

In the Rec room

I had been preparing for this moment ever since we got evacuated from the Laundry room. It was a ritual I repeated each evening when Scott came to watch over the younger children at play in the Rec Room.

I sat with my collection of knives sharpening them never taking my eyes off of the fearless Cyclops, muttering under my breath "Soon, soon…then you'll be sorry" but not so under my breath that he couldn't here. However as I suspected he had reached breaking point.

"Ashley what are you doing?"

I ignored him continuing to mutter "Soon…soon"

"Look how much money do you want?"

I stopped and glowered at him "How much you got?"

He emptied his wallet

"That'll do!" I said snatching the money "By the way we're going out"

"Good!" I heard Scott murmur.

"Now Mr Summers!" I said wide eyed "that wasn't very nice now was it?"

Girls Bedroom

I emerged fro the girl's bathroom rather pleased with the results. I wore my hair down for the first time since entering the mansion. I wore it on the side and I had applied dark make up around my eyes. Yes I certainly looked a lot older and in my tight fitting showing off my muscular legs I know I could rival the others (with maybe the exception of Mel) on the eye candy front.

"Christ Ash you look well older" Kat said drawing the group's attention to me

I suddenly felt self conscious this was the first time I'd dressed up to go out.

"Is it abit much?" I asked tentatively

"No way! All the guy's in the place will be around you like flies around shit." Jubilee exclaimed

"Thanks…I think"

The Jade Room (Cheap Sushi, Karaoke Bar)

"OOOhhhh sushi, I like sushi!"

"Kat is it meant to furry" Too late "Oh well"

A bottle of vodka each later

We sat watching the fat Japanese waiters singing 'Tragedy' poorly.

"The only Tragedy is that they ever got up there to sing in the first place" I hissed at Mel who was wincing as they attempted to hit the high notes.

Kat on the other hand seemed to be enjoying herself having lighted the end of her fingertip she was waving the flame along to the song whilst trying to sing along.

Once the Sumo wrestler types had finished singing Kat announced

"I'm going to sing." And before we could stop her she was gone

Kat launched into the most dreaded of the dreaded, the spice girls!! She even forgot the words and seeing as she couldn't see the screen in her drunken haze she improvised, that girl truly did have an intellect rivalled only by garden tools.

"You have got to,

Push it,

Prod it,

Bake it,

Shake it

Who do you think you are?

Rake it,

 Ho it,

Wolvie knows it

Who do think you are?"

I surveyed the room unsteadily at the bar a familiar figure was hunched hands over ears. I got up and approached him and could just make out his voice saying "My ears! Their bleeding"

At the bar 5 minutes later

After several of the regulars at the bar had Kat securely restrained at the opposite end of the bar from the microphone I approached Wolverine.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him

He looked up with his liquid amber eyes full of misery; at first I don't think he recognised me.

"What are you doing here?" He asked gruffly

"Having a quiet night out with friends, you?"

"You call that noise a quiet night out? Couldn't you stop her?" He asked in what I suppose I was meant to take as an angry tone.

10 minutes later

"Do you hear that?"

"What?!"

"Doesn't matter its gone now"

"Do you hear it now?"

"What?"

"Oh it's gone again"

5 Minutes later

"Do you hear that?"

"For the love of god Mel do I hear what?"

"Oh doesn't matter it seems to have shut up"

"!?"

On the other side of the Bar

I stared intently at the Lava lamp imitating its movements with my face

"What ya doing Sparky?"

"We…" I said indicating the Lava lamp "…have established a connection with the spirit world."

I sat and continued imitating the lava

"Oh by the way…." I remembered suddenly "…Grandma said hi"

An hour later

Jubilee was proceeding to find common interests with the lads on the table next to ours

"Are you on the witness protection programme to?"

Mel was taking photographs of random people with her new Polaroid and informing them "Did you know in some cultures it's believed that once you have a picture of someone you own their soul?"

Kat on the other hand was kindly treating the regulars in the bar to the Shari Lewis theme "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends...."

 Suddenly realizing that she could never finish the song she got panicky and wrote 'Help Me!' on a nearby beer mat before thrashing about in her chair while continuing to sing (well if that's what you'd call it).

Evelyn on the other hand had stuck a towel in the back of her collar in the manner of a cape and was 'flying' around the sushi section of the bar insisting that everyone call her 'Mighty Teen'

However it was just Retribution X that were fringing on the embarrassing everyone stopped what they were doing (Kat even stop singing) when a man came running out from the toilet genitalia on full view as he ran around urinating screaming at the top of his lungs "It wont stop!! It won't stop!"

Next to me I heard a familiar Schnickt and Wolverine mumble "I'll make it bloody well stop"

However before Wolverine could move the man stopped urinating causing him to look down and exclaim "Oh?" Before leaving the bar hastily.

Two Hours later

Kat finally realised that Logan was also present at the bar and hid in a corner whimpering and hoarding her sushi pile behind her.

However I felt a tap on my shoulder just as I was finishing giving some guy called Kevin my mobile number I turned round to see Kurt stood there looking at me sternly "Professor Xavier has sent me to come and fetch you all"

At that Wolverine who it seemed may have just consumed enough alcohol to bypass his healing factor pointed and laughed.

"I don't know vot you are laughing at Logan you've got to come as well"

Logan slapped his head "Doh!"

Mel on the appearance of the blue fuzzy one dropped what she was doing and ran over to him.

"Hey Kurt would you like a drink?"

He looked around cautiously "I really shouldn't"

"Go on elf" Logan interjected

"Well just one"

Several Drinks later

"Do you care to dance Melody?" Kurt asked blearily

"Well I don't mind if I do"   

An hour later

"Time to go home ladies and gents!" The bartender announced

"Come on the X Vans outside" Kurt informed us

Kat ran past exclaiming in her highest pitched voice "I'm a pixie!"

To which Kurt replied drunkenly "Really I'm an elf!"

On the road with a drunken driver

"Hail Mary, full of grace…"

"Umm…Kurt I ain't an expert on driving but I think you're meant to stop at red lights" Jubilee helpfully pointed out

"Im Henry the 8th I am…

Henry the 8th I am, I am

I got married to the widow next door…"

"Sing up Wolvie we can't hear ya"

"I feel sick" Kat warned us but to late she threw up smelly sushi sick all over Wolverine.

Snickt

"ARRRRGGGGHHH! HE'S TRING TO KILL ME….AGAIN!"

Outside the mansion

"Prop it up they'll never notice" I said wisely

"Bob the Builder,

Can we fix it?

Bob the builder

Yes we can!!!"

"Um…Wolverine why have you just cut a hole in the fence?"

"Now Chuck won't have to go to the fence to go out he can just wheel through the fence"

"Good thinking Batman"

"What did ya call me" Schnickt

gulp "Nothing, nothing at all"

"That's what I thought"

"I'm Frrreeeeeeee!!" Mel spun around arms spread out wide "Ooaafff"

"Vud you like a hand up!" Kurt asked her holding out a 3 fingered hand which she took. Was it me or did they hold eye contact for longer then was necessary.

In Professor X's study

"We never behaved like this before you gave us the Brady Bunch as our tutor" Jubilee moaned at him "I mean who wouldn't drink to forget about them"

I shuddered involuntarily at the thought of Scott in his Y-fronts

"And if I reinstate Logan as your tutor you all promise to behave" the Professor asked fingers templed

"YES!" We all yelled in unison

In the Danger room

We all arrived at the danger room early for the first time in….well for the first time ever.

We heard the door open "SURPRISE" we all yelled as Logan walked through the door.

We were all wearing party hats and had streamers. Logan for his part looked embarrassed.

"What all this for?" He asked

"It's a celebration that we've got you back!" Jubilee said giving him a hug, which was copied by everyone except myself and Kat.

Kat eyed him suspiciously to see  if he'd gotten over the anger he felt at being covered in her puke, whereas I held out a hand and we shook hands, because one thing White Lightning ever did was display any emotion or any partake in any physical acts of touch (like hugging or kissing YUCK!)

"We're not starting our danger room session until you've eaten a piece of cake!" I informed him feeling awkward.

Kat came over to me and whispered "When are the strippers coming?"

When she got no answer from me she continued to walk around the room repeating the question over and over again.