September 5

McGonagall says she could care less if I don't like diaries. Damn her. I hope she transforms into a cat and gets swallowed whole by a big black dog with indigestion.

My mum had a heyday when I told her I was dating Hermione. She can't beweeve hew ickow Deanie has a gewfwend. I wrote back and told her that she didn't need to act like that. I have a girlfriend not a baby. Which, of course, freaked her out and now she's on high alert trying to make sure I don't go about knocking Hermione up. Here comes Seamus, he wants to go outside. I told him I'm so glad we have him house trained, if he'll wait just a minute I'll get him a milk-bone. He says I know what he means. I do of course but the world would be so boring if we ran around understanding everybody all the time.

Good-bye, I still don't like you,

Dean