She was exhausted, in a foul mood, disheveled in appearance, and had not
slept in days. But to Anakin, she was no less beautiful.
She had been a constant image in his mind for ten long years, to varying degrees at various times, but always there, as though a beautiful ghost were haunting his mind.
In many ways, he saw her as he had first remembered her, when he was a young boy, as his mind still harbored an outlook of innocence and not-yet- tainted idealism. Yet he had come to learn that for a Jedi, romantic relationships were forbidden, that his fantasies would remain precisely that. Distance, along with the passage of time, allowed him to if not forget her entirely, at least to dampen his feelings. He thought he had at last resigned that particular dream for that of becoming a Jedi Knight, but in an occasional idle moment, her memory would return, and he would force himself to forget about her once again.
Yet here she was. Once again their fates had converged, and the old feelings so long dormant had returned, even stronger than before, and now more mature in nature.
He would let himself savor her image in his minds eye, imagining what it would be like to hold her in his arms, to contemplate the depths of her eyes, to surround himself with the warmth she seemed to radiate. He imagined the taste of her lips against his own, the sensation of running his hands through the silky mass of her hair. But then he would reprove himself for such thoughts, knowing to act on his desires would deny him his place in the Order he served. Yet the mental truce was a volatile one; while Anakin possessed a considerable intellect, he was at heart one who followed his passions, wherever they might take him.
He mollified his frustration by the concession that if nothing else, he sensed her path was somehow inextricably entwined with his own.
***
"…and I was obligated to step down after my second term as Queen. Chancellor Palpatine suggested that perhaps I should run for his vacant Senate seat, and I won overwhelmingly. I admit I prefer being a Senator, much less ceremony and more of a feeling of accomplishment, though sometimes the Senate seems out to drive me insane. How about you? What have you been doing all these years?"
"Training, mostly. Obi-Wan said I had a great deal of catching up to do entering the Order so late. It was frustrating, though. I keep thinking they should let me go on more missions. With the strain of the last few years, we need all the Jedi out in the field we can get. But they seem reluctant to send me."
"Be patient, Anakin," she admonished. "You'll get more missions, in time."
"I suppose your right," he admitted, "but it's still frustrating."
They were silent for a few long moments. When she did not reply, he noticed that she had fallen asleep in her chair, at last overcome with exhaustion.
He stood for a moment, unsure exactly what to do. He recalled a fainting couch nearby he had seen earlier-clearly, it would be more comfortable than her chair, he told himself. However, he also realized she might awaken en route. He decided to press on, however.
Anakin approached her gingerly, gathering her limp form into his arms and carrying her to the couch. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to tell her how he felt-the fact that she was in his arms and the mere proximity of her luscious form was rapidly overcoming his reservations-and when she let out a contented moan it was all he could do to prevent his legs from giving out from under him- but with reluctance he set her down gently, and gradually reined in his errant train of thought.
While she slept, he stood silent watch at the door.
She had been a constant image in his mind for ten long years, to varying degrees at various times, but always there, as though a beautiful ghost were haunting his mind.
In many ways, he saw her as he had first remembered her, when he was a young boy, as his mind still harbored an outlook of innocence and not-yet- tainted idealism. Yet he had come to learn that for a Jedi, romantic relationships were forbidden, that his fantasies would remain precisely that. Distance, along with the passage of time, allowed him to if not forget her entirely, at least to dampen his feelings. He thought he had at last resigned that particular dream for that of becoming a Jedi Knight, but in an occasional idle moment, her memory would return, and he would force himself to forget about her once again.
Yet here she was. Once again their fates had converged, and the old feelings so long dormant had returned, even stronger than before, and now more mature in nature.
He would let himself savor her image in his minds eye, imagining what it would be like to hold her in his arms, to contemplate the depths of her eyes, to surround himself with the warmth she seemed to radiate. He imagined the taste of her lips against his own, the sensation of running his hands through the silky mass of her hair. But then he would reprove himself for such thoughts, knowing to act on his desires would deny him his place in the Order he served. Yet the mental truce was a volatile one; while Anakin possessed a considerable intellect, he was at heart one who followed his passions, wherever they might take him.
He mollified his frustration by the concession that if nothing else, he sensed her path was somehow inextricably entwined with his own.
***
"…and I was obligated to step down after my second term as Queen. Chancellor Palpatine suggested that perhaps I should run for his vacant Senate seat, and I won overwhelmingly. I admit I prefer being a Senator, much less ceremony and more of a feeling of accomplishment, though sometimes the Senate seems out to drive me insane. How about you? What have you been doing all these years?"
"Training, mostly. Obi-Wan said I had a great deal of catching up to do entering the Order so late. It was frustrating, though. I keep thinking they should let me go on more missions. With the strain of the last few years, we need all the Jedi out in the field we can get. But they seem reluctant to send me."
"Be patient, Anakin," she admonished. "You'll get more missions, in time."
"I suppose your right," he admitted, "but it's still frustrating."
They were silent for a few long moments. When she did not reply, he noticed that she had fallen asleep in her chair, at last overcome with exhaustion.
He stood for a moment, unsure exactly what to do. He recalled a fainting couch nearby he had seen earlier-clearly, it would be more comfortable than her chair, he told himself. However, he also realized she might awaken en route. He decided to press on, however.
Anakin approached her gingerly, gathering her limp form into his arms and carrying her to the couch. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to tell her how he felt-the fact that she was in his arms and the mere proximity of her luscious form was rapidly overcoming his reservations-and when she let out a contented moan it was all he could do to prevent his legs from giving out from under him- but with reluctance he set her down gently, and gradually reined in his errant train of thought.
While she slept, he stood silent watch at the door.
