A/N: After book 5 comes out, this will obviously be an AU. This story contains SLASH. Later chapters may contain rape and torture.
DISCLAIMER : This is based on characters created and owned by JK Rowling, and publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books and Waner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
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Chapter One - Letters, Secrets and Presents
Harry opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of the second bedroom in 4 Privet Drive. 'I can't wait to get out of here,' he thought, as it was the last time he would ever have to stay at the Dursleys. He felt slightly sad at having to leave his only real family, but then again, they had never treated him like a part of a family. His family was at Hogwarts, with Ron and Hermione.
'And Jean,' Harry thought with a slightly wistful smile. They had been going out for five months now, but their relationship was still a secret. Jean was a Slytherin, after all. But that wasn't such a big problem anymore.
Harry's smiled dimmed as he thought about the changes they had all gone through, had been forced to go through. The Siege of Hogwarts during his fifth year was not something he could easily forget. Many students had died, from Slytherin as much as any house, and everyone had helped to defend the castle. It had been a traumatic but eye-opening experience. It saddened Harry, though, that it had taken a slaughter to make people see past petty House rivalries.
'And Hagrid.' He would never be rid of the image of the half-giant holding five Death Eaters off with his bare hands, his face wild and his arms swinging dangerously. Then the flash of green light and the dead eyes of his first friend staring at him. It had almost been too much, but he had continued fighting. He had only broken down after the siege had been over and he had mourned for his friend long after that. He still missed him, sometimes more than others, but he had learnt not to burden himself with the guilt of those who died, even though the guilt still lingered. He knew that he would never be rid of it.
In the end, Voldemort had been driven back and had once again been temporarily expelled from his body, courtesy of the combined efforts of Dumbledore's elite force of light wizards, the Order of the Phoenix. Major parts of Hogwarts had been rebuilt after that and the school had been closed for four months. When all the students came back, they had started a thoroughly condensed, but extremely intensive, course for the schooling they had missed.
Harry rolled over as he heard a tapping on the window. "Orpheus," Harry said, recognizing the owl Hermione's parents had bought for her as a reward for acquiring 18 O.W.L.s. It had been quite an achievement, the most number of O.W.L.s since Gregory Gobblepot more than a hundred years earlier.
He had no idea, however, why she would name her owl Orpheus. He and Ron mostly referred to the owl as Orph, and Hermione had been reluctantly forced to do the same after the owl had stopped responding to the longer name. She had not been particularly happy, but Ron had commented that it was better than Pig. He agreed.
He got up and untied the parcel. Harry carefully opened the letter on top.
Hello Harry,
Look at what I found! I've sent one to Ron as well and I think we should all start practising immediately.
Curiosity piqued, Harry opened the small parcel, a book by the feel of it, and found the golden letters 'Your Inner Animal and You' glinting on the cover. A book on becoming an Animagus! They had talked about it before, but due to the war, strict rules had been put in place that had made the procurement of such a book practically impossible. The law had not been rescinded and he wondered how on earth she had got her hands on three, no less.
You're probably wondering where I got it from and what I had to do to get it, aren't you? Well, let's just say that Bulgarian laws are a bit more lax about these things.
'So, she went to see Viktor again,' Harry thought with a smile. After a brief relationship between Ron and Hermione, which resulted in more shouting matches than the residents of Gryffindor Tower could stand, she had started going out with Viktor again. The Bulgarian Quidditch star had, as part of the Order, conveniently been moved to Hogwarts where he could pursue his relationship with her and improve his English, among his other duties. He could even pronounce her name right now.
The book says it will take about a year to master the skill. Yes, I know it's a long time, but we could probably accomplish it in less, seeing that we are somewhat prone to perform the impossible. I mean, how many eleven-year-olds could take on a fully-grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale?
Harry laughed, remembering McGonagall's words almost six years ago. 'Sweet Merlin, has it been so long already?'
Anyway, I'm really looking forward to doing this with you guys. And I know that you, with your history, should enjoy it especially.
She knew that it was one of his dreams to become an animagus like his father. It was like he would somehow connect with a part of his father, doing something he had done when he had been in school. He had often wondered if he would become a stag as well.
Now, Harry, I have noticed something during the last two months at school. I don't know why you even try hiding it from me, I know you too well. I know you're going out with a girl in Slytherin, but you're very sneaky, and to my own frustration, I have not been able determine which girl it is. I know she has black hair and she may be a year younger than you, but I'm not sure. These features, however, count for about fifteen girls in Slytherin.
He laughed again. Hermione almost never missed a thing. Well, he wasn't going to tell her yet, she would just have to wait. He was rather curious to know how she had found out. He and Jean had always been careful, with his Invisibility Cloak and always ensuring the Marauder's Map (which Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eye, had handed back to him at the start of fifth year) was with him, it would have been quite a challenge. Well, she wasn't the smartest witch in Hogwarts for nothing. He was lucky, however, that there were much more students than there had been in his fourth year, making it more difficult for her. Before the siege on Hogwarts, various magical schools had been destroyed and their students had all been incorporated into Hogwarts, which had also been expanded to fit the needs of the growing student population. Jean was in their year and had been one of the transfer students from Beauxbatons.
The first time they had stepped into the rebuilt Hogwarts had been a shock. The Great Hall, along with most of the other rooms, had been magically expanded and redecorated so they had lost that sense of home and familiarity. They had become used to it now, but it just wasn't the same.
You have to tell me who it is. Please? It doesn't matter that she's a Slytherin. Or is it the media you're hiding from? I can definitely understand that, with those trashy tabloid articles about your love-life. But you can tell me, can't you?
Harry shook his head. She was just too curious for her own good and had made it her job over the past year to find a girlfriend for him, and now that she was already too late, she was just dying to find out who it was. But she was right in thinking he wanted to hide it from the media. They always twisted everything around and made it look so cheap. He didn't want their relationship to be scrutinized by journalists or have every detail of what they did be exposed to the wizarding world. Luckily, Jean was pro-muggle, so if they wanted to, they could go into the muggle world for a date without worrying about reporters.
Alright, I'll stop bothering you. I do hope you have a great summer and remember to do your homework! (And revise for the N.E.W.T.s) We'll be back on the 25th of August, so I will be able to meet you and Ron in Diagon Alley on the 28th.
Love,
Hermione
P.S. Viktor sends his regards.
He quickly folded the letter and took out some of his own parchment. He dipped a quill into the inkpot on the desk.
Hey Herm,
Thank you very much for the book, I appreciate it very much.
And I'm shocked that you would break all those rules so blatantly! Ron was right in first year when he said we have a bad influence on you. On a serious note though, you do realize we're not going to register? Not until Voldemort is totally destroyed.
How are you and Vik doing? Send my regards to him as well, it's been a while since we've seen each other. Hope you enjoy yourself there in Bulgaria and forget schoolwork for a bit. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's never gonna happen, but I have to try right?
How about I let you discover my secret for yourself? I am rather amazed that you know about it at all. With the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map on me, how did you find out? Catch me making eyes at my secret lover (that I've been seeing for five months, for your information), did you?
I will tell you and Ron, though. I don't know when, exactly, but I will. Oh, I am so hoping there's another Ball coming up so I can read the lovely headlines 'Harry Potter, Gryffindor Goldenboy and Steamy Slytherin in secret affair?' No, thank you! Well, I guess it will have to go public sometime. I'm just sick of all the media attention, you know? I don't want them to know about us and what we do and when we do it. I think that's one reason I've kept it secret, even from you guys. It's something I have that's just mine. Do you understand? It's not that I don't trust you with the information or are afraid about what you might think (well, I'm worrying a little), but I can say that's its mine alone, and I like that.
Anyway, enjoy your stay there, relax, unwind, and have lots of sex, 'kay?
Love
Harry
He just knew she would blush and shout, "Harry!" in indignation at the last sentence. He knew, however, that the two of them had done it before, and definitely more than once. Seeing two dots merge on the Marauder's Map was not an uncommon occurrence.
He had learned (after rather embarrassing conversations with his dorm mates, and other sources, such as his Godfather) that wizards in general, were much more open about sex and it was not frowned upon for wizards and witches over sixteen, the age of consent, to have sex. In fact, they had attended a rather embarrassing course with Madame Pomfrey at the end of fifth year, teaching them all about safe sex and what contraceptive spells and potions to use.
One thing, however, she forgot to mention was the importance of a silencing charm, especially in a dorm room. There had been more than a few embarrassing moments in the dorm the past year. Harry, himself, had not had sex yet and although somewhat impatient, Jean had agreed to wait until Harry felt he was ready. He didn't really know when that would be, but somehow it just didn't feel right. Maybe it was growing up with Muggles, or maybe it was the fact that he didn't want it to be some rushed fuck in a dorm or empty classroom with someone he had only known for five months. Whatever it was, he was glad Jean understood it was important to him and had only teasingly called him a "bloody hopeless romantic".
Harry chuckled suddenly. He had one idea why Hermione may have become suspicious and started snooping. Jean had insisted that Harry get some new clothes, something Hermione had been saying for quite some time. So they had gone shopping, buying stylish clothes that actually fit him. When his friends had wanted to know why, he had just said he was tired of swimming around in his clothes. He should have known better than to think Hermione would take that at face value.
Unfortunately, it had also increased his fan following at Hogwarts with more girls starting to stare at him wearing a muscle shirt or a pair of particularly tight jeans. It made him feel very uncomfortable, but he knew Jean liked his new attire, and it did make him feel better wearing clothes that weren't almost double his size.
"Boy! Dinner!" he heard Aunt Petunia's shout from downstairs.
"Coming!" He quickly tied his letter to Orph's leg and closed the window behind the owl. He rushed down the stairs and stepped into the kitchen. Dudley who, to Harry's surprise, had started losing some weight, was already seated. 'Probably trying to impress a girl,' Harry thought with an inner smirk.
The Dursleys had been particularly nicer towards Harry since the previous vacation when, due to the war, the Underage Wizardry Law had been temporarily rescinded and had, at that time, not been re-introduced. After casting a Lumos charm and Wingardium Leviosa, they had practically ignored him for the rest of the summer and had taken him to Diagon Alley and Kings Cross without complaint.
Harry had also grown during the past two years, both vertically and in terms of muscles. He had taken self-defence classes with Remus, reasoning that it could be easy to catch one of the Death Eaters off guard by using Muggle means of attack. It had, in fact, come in handy quite a few times. Currently, he was standing about four inches taller than his uncle and sometimes, when Vernon wasn't angry, Harry could see that it made the older man really uncomfortable. It was probably wrong, but Harry got a perverse pleasure from it anyway.
He quickly finished his dinner, a more than ample amount, and excused himself with the promise that he would do the dishes a bit later. None of the Dursleys objected.
Harry fished around for another clean piece of parchment and grabbed a bottle of red ink - a sort of ongoing joke or mockery between him and Jean about the whole pureblooded issue in the wizarding world - and started writing.
Hey Jean,
I must say I don't really miss you, with my esteemed relatives keeping me company and all that. I've almost completely forgotten how much I miss talking to you, or kissing you, or...
Hmm, you do know that I'm an extremely bad liar, right?
Anyway, I can't believe the Dursleys still think I can do magic. I mean, the Underage Law has been in place for a year. They still sit and stare at me when they think I'm eating or not watching. And then when I look up, they'll quickly busy themselves with something. Annoying. But you knew that and I'm just ranting.
How're you doing? Alex giving you trouble? The way you describe him makes me think of Colin Creevey, which definitely isn't a good thing. I'm glad I don't have any younger brothers.
Herm figured out I'm seeing someone. Not really surprised she found out, just curious how. As she puts it:
I know you're going out with a girl in Slytherin, but you're very sneaky, and to my own frustration, I have not been able determine which girl it is. I know she has black hair and she may be a year younger than you, but I'm not sure. These features, however, count for about fifteen girls in Slytherin.
How long do you think it will take her to work out the truth? I did say that I'm going to tell her, and said that I didn't know when.
Would you like to go public? You now how I feel about it, the media and all, but I also don't like constantly hiding our relationship. Invisibility cloaks, empty classrooms, dark corridors. All very thrilling, but I hate sitting in the Great Hall, just looking at you across the tables. And the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables are ever so exciting!
I do know it will be difficult for us to reveal this. And I'm worried what Ron and Hermione will think, especially Ron. Hermione, as you know, is much more rational and level-headed. What about the rest of the school?
I'm sorry that I'm loading all my worries off on you, but it makes me feel better talking with someone about it, and well, it does involve you.
I'm going to meet up with Ron and Herm on the 28th at Diagon Alley. We arranged to meet each other at 11am in front of Gringotts. Want to meet me there before that?
Miss you,
Harry.
Harry read the letter over, remembering Jean telling him he was rather sappy in his letters. He smiled and folded the letter neatly and tied it Hedwig's leg. "Take it to Jean, please." Hedwig hooted once as Harry opened the window before she flew out. Harry watched the disappearing speck of white for a while before sighing, 'Now for the dishes.'
***
Four days later found Harry lying in his bed, looking at the clock on the wall. 11:58 pm. 'Just two minutes until I turn seventeen,' Harry thought, 'And this year will be my last year at Hogwarts.' It was almost painfully sad to think about that. Hogwarts had been his home over the last six years and he didn't know what he wanted to do once he graduated. Auror, Professional Quidditch Player, Broom Designer, Broom Tester, Professor. All jobs he knew he could do and ones he had considered already. But what to choose? Auror would be the obvious public opinion. He was, after all, the Boy-Who-Lived and he would undoubtedly be the one to kill Voldemort, right?
How he hated public expectation. Why couldn't he just be like any other normal child?
Tick, tock.
He silently wondered what this year would bring. Would Voldemort return? He certainly hoped not.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
A barrage of owls flew through the window Harry had opened earlier. Hermes and Errol, Pig, Hogwarts owl, one of Sirius' extremely flashy parrots, a hawk-like bird Harry guessed belong to Viktor and Jean's raven, Poe. Harry almost started laughing again. Nearly everyone had amusing names for their familiars, except him. Pig, Poe and Orph. Jean's little brother Alex had started calling the bird Poe after some muggle story and the name had stuck, much like what had happened with Pig. Jean, of course, was still rather sour about it and Harry had learned to rather keep his mouth shut about the subject.
Harry quickly relieved the owls of all their packages and set them on the bed. He decided to read the Hogwarts letter first. As he opened it, he wondered why they always came on his birthday.
Dear Mr. Potter,
In light of your exemplary performances as Gryffindor Prefect and Quidditch Captain over the past two years, along with your various other honourable extra-curricular activities, you have been elected as Head Boy.
You, along with your fellow Gryffindor, Miss. Granger, who was has been elected as Head Girl, will report to the Prefects Compartment on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of term to obtain further information about your duties.
Congratulations,
Headmistress McGonagall
'I'm headboy?' Harry thought, shocked, but then he grinned, 'Less sneaking around with Jean, I'll have my own room! Definitely advantegeous.'
Setting that aside, he picked up Sirius' package. His godfather had been declared innocent after various Auror had testified, under Veritaserum, that they had seen Peter Pettigrew in the siege on Hogwarts. Sirius had told the full tale, also under Veritaserum, and Fudge, who had still been Minister at the time before Voldemort had killed him and his family, had grundginly declared him innocent and compensated him for the fourteen years he had spent in Azkaban. That had been a real sore blow for the rotund Minister as confessions from both Dumbledore and Harry had confirmed that they had brought Sirius' innocence under his attention before.
Happy Birthday Harry,
Sorry I can't write much, the Order is still very busy. There have been a slight increase in Dark Activity, but it's nothing to worry about, only a few Death Eaters trying to continue instilling their master's fear in the community. We have captured most of them.
Oh, but enough about those morbid things. It's your birthday and you should be happy. I think it's about time I gave this book to you, seeing as it was Prongs'. Never know when it might come in use.
Take care of yourself, kiddo.
S
Harry practically ripped the paper off and started laughing softly. The leather-bound book with the frayed edges was titled, Releasing The Animal Inside : Mastering the Animagus Transformation. 'If this isn't a sign,' Harry thought with a grin, 'Then I don't know what is.' He ran his fingers over the cover. It had been his father's book. Slowly, he opened it and paged through, seeing the spiky annotations along the sides. He traced some of the letters of his father's handwriting before closing the book and setting it down.
Mrs. Weasley had given him lots of treats again and, before opening the package, he read Ron's letter.
Happy Birthday, mate!
I can't ask if the Dursleys are treating you right, because we all know the answer to that one. At least something good came out of the war, then.
Not many people would have tried joking about the war, but Harry knew Ron meant well and he could almost sense the slight bitterness in the words.
Anyway, hope you like the gift. It's from the whole family and I hope you don't mind, but everyone made a contribution.
Definitely curious, Harry pulled open the small box and gasped. Inside was a beautiful dagger, a handle wrapped in dragon hide and the wide, flat blade thinning towards the front. The blade was covered with runic etchings, the little black symbols a definite contrast with the gleaming silver. It was a work of art.
I know how much you loved fighting with the daggers in self-defence class and I saw how good you were with them (not to mention watching you with Gryffindor's sword) so I asked the rest of the family if they would help. Charlie got it from a good friend of his in the dragon camp. Said it was special.
Anyway, see you on at Diagon Alley.
Ron
'Thank you, thank you, thank you,' Harry repeated in his mind as he picked up the dagger and tested the weight. He had enjoyed dagger and sword fighting and Remus had said he was especially talented in both. He would have to buy presents for all of the Weasley's to say thank you. Carefully placing the dagger back in the box, he picked up the present the hawk had left, presumably from Hermione.
Dear Harry,
Before I congratulate you, I just want to ask you what exactly you meant when you said, 'have lots of sex' ? I am thoroughly shocked that you would suggest such a thing! And even if, not that I'm saying we do, but if we did, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Now that that's out of the way: Happy Birthday, Harry.
Harry laughed as he read, practically picturing her stern, but blushing, face.
I know you have been interested about the topic and I have bought you another book here in Bulgaria where, as I've mentioned, some of the rules are a bit less restrictive than they are there. We both know it's considered Dark Magic, so just be careful with it.
'Is she talking about...' his thought trailed off as he started unwrapping the parcel. The Rashan Arcana. He had a guess about what it was about, but he was unsure, so he went on reading.
It's a book about Parseltongue and its use in spells and potions. We've talked about the possibilites before, I'm sure you remember. I haven't read the whole book yet, but a lot of it is defensive magic. There was a rather gruesome section under blood magic that I suggest you stay away from, but some of it could be used if... I'm sure you can see its value.
A somewhat disturbing birthday present, but Harry had been rather interested in the topic. He had always avoided using Parseltongue, but during the war he had realized that it wasn't necessarily evil and it could be very helpful. He had even gathered a small group of snakes that had acted as spies for him. After the war, he had started exploring the potential, but due to the fact that Parseltongue was a rare gift, there wasn't much information on the matter.
On to other things. Yes, you and Ron are exceptionally bad influences and I'll remember to stay away from you in the future. I am aware that we will not be registering, although I am not particularly happy about that fact, I understand why.
Viktor and I are enjoying ourselves (mind out of the gutter!), thank you very much. He took me on a flying scenic trip around the mountains and we had a lovely picnic at a waterfall, but I'm sure you're not that interested in our romantic rendezvous (or I hope not).
Five months? I must say, you have been doing a good job of hiding you're relationship then. I completely understand what you're saying. I know you haven't had much that was yours, or something not known to the public or Ron and I, so I respect that you want to keep it a secret. Whenever you want to tell me, you know where to find me. I won't intrude if you don't want me to, although it does present a rather interesting challenge.
And you ask how I discovered your relationship with the Steamy Slytherin? Why don't I let you discover that secret by yourself?
Lots of love,
Hermione
And now only Jean's package and letter were left. 'Always save the best for last,' Harry thought with a grin.
Harry,
I'm very sorry to have to do this on your birthday, but I've met someone during the holidays and I want to end our relationship before I end up hurting you more.
Consider this a parting gift.
I really did enjoy our time together.
Jean
"No," Harry forced out, his eyes wide, feeling confused and hurt. "No," he repeated. 'This has to be some big joke,' he thought dazedly. It had been going so well between the two of them. Why?
He made himself open the box, and seeing the paper inside, swore quite loudly.
Fortunately, I'm a better liar than you are.
"Damn all Slytherins," he said, trying to get his breathing under control. How could Jean play a trick like that? "Damn Slytherin humour," he continued. He would get his revenge yet. He noticed there was something else beneath the note, and curiously pulled the package, wrapped in brown paper, out of the box.
He wripped off the wrapping, neatly unfolded the soft white paper the present was placed in and then blushed a rather brilliant shade of red at the contents. It was leather harness. There was another sheet of paper beneath the piece of clothing ('If you could call it clothing,' Harry thought) and he quickly removed it, trying to avoid the contraption of leather straps.
I hope you like the present, but I assure you, it's more for my enjoyment than it is for yours. When we get a chance, we're going clubbing again and I'm going to make you wear that to the club.
'I'd rather face another Hungarian Horntail than go anywhere wearing that thing,' Harry thought, 'Oh yes, just you wait Jean. I'll get my revenge.'
We all know the Dursleys are complete idiots. I mean, they think you're an ugly, inconsiderate, ungrateful brat. But I know better. Well, I must admit that you are only slightly attractive, but beauty, after all, isn't just skin deep.
He couldn't remember the Dursleys ever saying that, but he smiled anyway at Jean's rather sarcastic sense of humour.
I'm doing great, except for the little devil that is my brother. Couldn't you look after him for a while? I swear his only purpose in life is to irritate me! And now that you mention it, his resemblance with Colin Creevey is actually startling. I wonder if he wasn't adopted. He's just annoying. But you knew that and I'm just ranting.
Yes, Hermione would be the first to notice. The part of her letter was rather amusing and I am curious to see if she'll figure it out.
I don't have a problem with going public, Harry and I agree about all the secrecy, it tends to get old after a while. I know you don't like attention, media or otherwise, but you shouldn't let it bother you. So what if everyone knows we're going out, it's not something to be ashamed of. So the whole world knows that we ate at that specific restaurant at that specific time, but that's the price of fame. Even if you didn't ask for the fame, Harry, it follows you everywhere and you just have to live with it.
I'll distract you if you want.
And about the students, I don't give a damn what they think. All your friends will accept it, don't worry about that. Trust them. The Slytherins may have something to say, but that's not really a problem.
I don't mind if you talk to me about the things that bother you, I'm glad that you do, actually. It shows you trust me. And I trust you.
And I miss you.
Happy Birthday Harry.
JP.
P.S. About the Diagon Alley tryst - I'll be waiting in Flourish & Blotts at 10. You know which section to find me in.
Harry knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he didn't care. He only hoped their relationship would last. He really liked Jean, and while he wasn't sure about the love part, he was very happy every time they were together. On some nights, they met in the room Fluffy had occupied and they would just talk about everything and nothing. And he enjoyed it. Sometimes, more than talking was involved, and he enjoyed that just as much. They both enjoyed Quidditch very much, and although Harry wasn't as intellectual as Jean, they had challenging conversations and debates about many different aspects of the wizarding world and life in general.
He actually felt like he could handle the media knowing about them. He wasn't ashamed about their relationship, maybe just a little scared and possessive. He would seriously have to consider telling everyone. 'Maybe a ball wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all.'
