A/N: Yeah, so this took a long, long time to be posted compared to how quick I normally do. Sorry 'bout that.
Disclaimer: I don't own them!
*** I'm sorry I'm not writing out a personal thanks to each and everyone of you who reviewed, I've got to get going now and I want to get this chapter up for ya'll because you've been more than patient with my long absence from ff.net. Thank you everyone!
Chapter 46: The Way She Would Always Feel
Natalie's mouth dropped open. "Carmen…? How long…?" She found she could barely get the words out, she was so nervous.
Carmen looked away.
That was all the answer Natalie needed or wanted. "Carmen, I'm so sorry…," she began apologetically.
Carmen could hear the apology in her voice and knew her friend was being honest. That didn't change the aching feeling though. "I know," she said quietly.
Natalie moved to Carmen's bed but didn't sit down on the edge of the mattress or on the chair she had pulled up to the bed the other day. "I'm so sorry Carmen," she repeated. "There's an explanation though. I wouldn't do this to you on purpose, you know," she said.
"Natalie, I don't really feel like talking right now," Carmen said quietly.
Natalie choked back a cry of discouragement. "Alright," she sighed.
Carmen shut her eyes when she heard Natalie's footsteps patter out of the Infirmary. She fell into a fitful sleep.
***
Ron hadn't seen or spoken to Hermione since the incident that morning in the Infirmary. He was sick of not seeing her by now though and so he climbed the stairs to her dormitory two at a time.
He knew she was in there alone; Lavender was in the Infirmary still and Parvati was downstairs talking with Ginny.
Coming to her door he only hesitated once when he didn't hear anything coming from inside the room. He hoped she wasn't sleeping.
He took a deep breath and—
The door swung open to reveal a calm looking Hermione. She smiled placidly. "Hi Ron. Come in?" she offered.
His eyebrows shot up into his hair.
She chuckled at his shocked expression. "Don't look so surprised Ron. I was waiting for you; I must admit I'm surprised it took you as long as it did to come up here."
He was irritated for a moment. A very short moment.
"Oh, come on in," Hermione said while taking her hand before she pulled him into her dorm.
Ron looked away from her as he was slightly embarrassed to be in her room. So instead he took in his surroundings. Lavender's bed was furthest away—frilly pinks and pastel purples. Parvati's bed was across from Lavender's and was surprisingly neat—there were no frills and lace but there was a pile of magazines near the headboard. The blanket, it wasn't a comforter like Lavender's, was brown and red and green—all earthy tones. Hermione's bed was completely Hermione-esque, though and he found that incredibly attractive.
Her bed was completely no nonsense except for a single stuffed animal, a teddy bear with glasses.
"That's the American President Theodore Roosevelt," she said suddenly.
"What?" Ron asked. His heart was pounding. He didn't see any American President in the room! Was he invisible? Did he wear an invisibility cloak like Harry?
Hermione outright laughed at the look on her boyfriend's face.
"What?" he asked somewhat irritably.
Hermione moved toward her bed and picked up the stuffed bear. "This Ron is Theodore Roosevelt." He looked as confused as ever and so she carelessly tossed aside the bear. "Never mind Ron."
The look of relief on his face at her words was priceless. She moved closer to him. It took every effort not to say the words she thought she might be feeling.
Ron bent his head down and kissed her. It was the softest of kisses; they'd kissed more heavily that first night their lips had ever touched but this one sent shivers through her body and she felt at home, the way she always felt when Ron would kiss her.
The way she would always feel.
Hermione pulled away with a slight blush. "That was nice," she said softly.
Ron smiled warmly. "I was hoping you would think it was nice."
"I'm sorry for earlier Ron," she said. "I didn't take you down to the Infirmary to make fun of her but I should have known that's what you would do."
"And why did you take me down there?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. It's nice to remember that Pansy Parkinson is a person, I guess. I was down there to remind us she's a human and not just a Slytherin."
Ron looked like he would like to say something in return but wisely he chose not to.
She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips again.
"What was that for?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know. For you being you." I think I'm in love with you but we're only fifteen Ron…
He grinned. "I am good at me being me, aren't I?"
She giggled. "Yes, yes you are," she replied before he stole a long, sweet kiss from her breath.
***
Harry walked Parvati out to the Quidditch pitch for no particular reason. It was something to do anyhow.
She shivered slightly and Harry put an arm around her thin shoulders, warming her to her bone. She leaned her dark head against his shoulders and sighed contentedly.
"What are you thinking?"
"Umm…hmm…I don't know. I guess I was just thinking about how happy I am here." She looked directly into his eyes. "I'm very happy Harry."
His eyes crinkled into a smile. "I'm happy too."
Parvati bit her lower lip. Harry wondered if she had learned that habit from Hermione. On more than one occasion Harry had seen Hermione chewing on her bottom lip as she was in deep concentration.
Her eyes never left his and the effect was dizzying on both of them.
She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you Harry," she said earnestly.
"Thank you for what?" Harry asked, drawing his brows together. She didn't have anything to be thanking him for, did she?
Parvati shrugged and slipped out of his arm, walking forward as he stayed behind. She spun around and walked backward while continuing to watch him carefully. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for being such a wonderful person."
"I don't even know what you're thanking me for," he protested.
She laughed. It was a clear, happy sound and it made his heart happy.
"I'm not thanking you for anything in particular. I'm just thanking you for…for giving me more than a passing glance; for wanting to do more than just snog with me…oh wipe that grin off your face, you know what I'm talking about!" she said through a laugh.
Harry grinned and then took off running toward her.
Parvati shrieked gaily and started running as best as she could away from him.
They both forgot it was cold out.
***
Lee watched Carmen read whatever book had been dropped off for her earlier. He was still thinking hard on what had happened between her and Natalie. Surely her reaction didn't mean she liked him, did it?
Oh why else would she have been so upset sounding with Natalie? Well he didn't know and that was a good question.
"Why are you mad at Natalie Carmen? I thought you two were best friends," he asked out of the blue.
Carmen pretended not to hear him and flipped the page in the Muggle romance novel.
"Don't ignore me," he pleaded.
"I'm not having this conversation with you in here, Lee," she said shortly. She flipped the next page so angrily she ripped at the paper. "Shit," she muttered.
Lavender and Padma giggled a little bit. They were having a lovers' quarrel, how cute!
"Do you like me?" he asked.
Carmen huffed. "No," she said. She slammed the covers of the book together. "No I don't. I'm just sick of all this and I want to get the hell out of here, if you must know."
Lee struggled with finding words to say to her. "So who do you like then? Or who did you like then? That's the reason you're in here," he said as if she didn't know the reason she was in here.
She leveled her gaze on him. "I know that."
"So you won't tell me?" he asked.
Carmen shook her head slowly. "No, I am going to read my story now, OK?" she asked, although she really wasn't looking for permission.
Lee sighed. If she wanted to act like that, then she could.
Carmen's heart was thudding hard in her chest. She was hurting over something she had no control over and it sucked. She wondered how long she would feel this way for.
Hey! So sorry it took so long to get this stuff up! I've been so tired lately but I promise updates will be happening more frequently again (partially because I've just finished my first year of college! Yeah!). Thank you for sticking with me, please review!
The fighting part of the war is basically over, so now I ask that you all pray/light a candle/meditate/whatever-it-is-you-do for those who lost loved ones, no matter what side they were on. And I ask you give support to our government and I pray personally that you pray our government(s) make the right decisions in the coming days. I apologize if this request has offended you.
~ Tears from the Moon
When we become aware of our humility, we've lost it.
