W- OK, THAT IS IT! I am starting this pathetic little episode off because it always begun by those inferior women and female animals! (Cat glares) Oh, I'm so scared! (Cat scratches Wu-fei) Ow! Grr... (Wu-fei kicks cat) There. Now, what was I saying? Ah yes, the episode. Well, stupid Baka Onna (who I will insult no further coz she's paying me) is a prat and does bad bad things. But today, the main focus of humility is not on me, as it usually is, because this whole endeavour is INJUST! Anyway, you all better watch out, becoz when you fall down I will laugh and tread on your faces, you injust monsters of weakness! AHAHAHHA!
KAJA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
And her slayerettes
And the camera crew
And the stage management team...
AND THE CAT
AND WUFEI!!!
Quick run over of parts...
K- KJ (Buffy)
L- Tammy (Cordelia)
R- Ruth (Syam Bailey in this chapter)
S- Tasha (Willow pre gayness)
D- Duo (Xander)
H- Heero (Angel ps...HAHHAHAH)
T- Trowa (Rilay!)
Q- Quatre (Giles...so so sorry)
B- Ben (Wesley...SOOOOOOO sorry)
P- Paul (Spike...not sorry)
W- Wu-fei (head Camera Person, and Faith snigger (W- INJUSTICE!!))
C- Caz (Head of special effects and treasurer...she bought the damn spinny chairs)
M- Mark (Coffee boy)
I- Christian (Camera assistant)
1)- Kerry (Stage Manager)
2)- Steph (Professional Duo oogler...ehem I mean Wardrobe and Makeup!)
3)- Sara (Lighting and sound director)
Wu-fei still hasn't grown up. Caz has calmed down after revealing she and Ben (SATAN) had had an argument and they had now made up. We still don't know what the holes are for and we are still a blank as to what the hell is up with the cat! Anyway, we enter the scene and Kaja the Vampire Slayer headquarters as everyone is in makeup, apart from Quatre, Ben, Tasha, Heero and of course the camera crew and stage management team...
B- What ya playing?
Q- Oh, it's my favourite song! (Puts down his violin) It's called eternal wind. I think my nursemaid used to sing it to me... I can't remember... (Goes misty eyed)
2)- What a POOF!
S- (Punches Steph in the face) I think it's beautiful Quatre... but still, I'm sure I've heard it before...
Q,S- Hmm...
K- Quit it!
Q- Sorry, anyway, can I get back to my playing?
B- Hey, I can play the violin too! (Pulls violin out of those damned blue trousers (yes he's wearing them (why, we don't know)))
Q- Great!
B- I'd love to play along... but I guess there's only one violin part...
Q- Yeah... but you can play along to the piano part if you'd like!
B- Hey! (Puts Violin away) I can play the piano too! (Pulls out huge white grand piano (yes from the same place! He keeps heavy artillery in the other back pocket))
Q- Great!
Q,B- start playing the song again.
H- That's a dumb song.
S- Hey!
H- Well it is! It's about as dumb as that song by that boy band...what was it called? Like a ...rose I think.
K- HEY!!! (Pokes Heero repeatedly)
H- Quit it, quit it, QUIT IT!
S- Ben wrote that song!
B- (Looks upset)
H- Well it sucks!
S- I bet you couldn't write anything that good at age 16!
H- Actually...
K- Oh no...
H- I wrote a little something a while back, but it's probably not any good.
Q,B- Let me see! (Look at each other, giggle)
K,S- groan
H- (Pull's piece of paper out of Spandex space)
Q- Hey, this is pretty good.
B- Very nice rhythm. I like it.
Q- How about we play it?
B- There's no piano part! Snivel
Q- There's a rocking bass line though...
H- You're not playing it.
B- Actually... (Puts grand Piano away, pulls out huge full size drum kit) Taadaa!
K- The question is, can you play it?
H- (Looks pleadingly at KJ, then glares) He's not GOING to play it at all!
S- (ignoring Heero) Of course he can play it, why else would he carry it around?
B- Heh, sure I can... (Pulls out Rolex)
All- Ooooo!
B- (presses button. Everyone freezes. Starts learning drum kit like a sim. Learns drum kit. Sighs, stands up and presses another button. Time returns. (And you really believe he didn't go off exploring and messing around whilst it was stopped?!))
S- Ew! (Slaps Heero as he hastily removes his hand from up her top, looking extremely bemused and beetroot coloured.)
Q- choke (coughs in disbelief at where his hand is)
K- QUATRE! (Slaps him)
Q- I DID NOTHING! ...Ow... :"o
H- 0_0...
B- (Raises eyebrow) tut, teenagers these days, really can't control themselves... (Sniggers as he sees Wu-fei disgustedly prying his lips from the cat, who is scratching his face off, Caz in an embrace with the camera, Mark and Chris suddenly springing apart in horror at where their hands had just been, Sara holding a piece of paper saying "I HATE HAIRCUTS ON GUYS! I LOVE DUO!" and Kerry holding one saying "I HATE ROCK! BRING BACK LOLLY!" and Steph holding one saying "I WANT TO BE A NUN!". Screams can be heard clearly from wardrobe and makeup.) Erm... anyway, back to the song, sure I can play drums!
S- Would you play them for me? (Flutters eyelashes)
K- (wretches)
B- Sure, Quat, if you pick up the violin line.
H- (still beetroot) WHAT DID I JUST SAY? YOU ARE SOOOOOO NOT PLAYING MY SONG!
B- Sure Heero, erm by the way, what's it called, and what letter is this chord?
H- groan The chords C major, and the song is called 'The Wings of The Boy Who Killed Adolesence'...
K- Catchy title, and it soooo suits you, killer man!
H- (goes to pull out gun, but thinks better of it) I'll pretend you didn't say that...
K- Sure whatever Killer man.
S- KJ, kill the teasing.
K- He's the killer man, snigger, ask him to kill it.
H- (storms off)
K- hysterics
S- You are so immature.
Q- So what's on the cards for today?
S- I have something in mind... HAHHAHAAHHAHAH!
K- gulp
B- *goes off into day dream about hot scenes between willow and Wesley (ktvs stylee of course))
S- Ben! Snap out of it!
B- Whadda?
Q- I told him not to drink that vodka...
Well, Ladies and gents, this being an extended chapter, which will probably be longer than the usual 7 pages, because I intend to do two scenes, and we've already used up at least 3, we better get on with the show. Let's set the scene in the meeting area. Everyone is gathered in a congregation, Tasha, floating so all can see her. The stage managers are busying themselves with set and the camera and coffee crew are spinning on the spinny chairs...
S- Hey everybody!
All- Hi Doctor Nick!
S- Haha very funny!
1)- Hey! There's a drum kit in the way of bookcase number 4-0!
B- Whoops! (Shoves drum kit into his pocket)
D- How...
T- Don't ask.
S- Anyway, people, as we've wasted about a week on set due to various cast members... (Mutual glaring at Wu-fei, Duo, Quatre, Mark and Christian. God, it's something about the gender, ain't it?) I want to get two scenes done today, so we might run over time.
D- Oh man! I'm gonna miss sailor moon! She is so hot...
R- She has huge eyes!
D- Exactly! Ever wondered why none of you 3D people ever get a date?
All (apart from anime)- glare
W- Nice going Duo.
T- I thought when we said stuff at that meeting it never left the room!
Q- (vanishes into dressing room)
S- Anyway... (Still glaring at Duo) today we are going to cover scene B2, scene A4, and hopefully scene C2.
D- You actually think we are gonna get all that done in seven pages of type?
S- We can damn well try!
Q- Erm, I don't seem to have scene C2...
S- That's coz I just wrote it... HAHHAA! (Shudder from cast and crew)
D- Oh no, what's she gone and done now?
K- blanches white (she's just read scene A4)
H- blanches white (he's just read scene A4)
D- eyes boggle (he's just read scene A4) HAHAHAHAHAHA!
H- I.. er...erm...
K- That's it! I QUIT RIGHT NOW!
S- Oh no u don't. Look at the contract.
K- looks BUT I DIDN'T KNOW BACK THEN WHO WAS WHO!
S- Look, we are doing the scene, OK?
H- choke wheeze
Q- Heero, breathe
B- This is not gonna look good in the rehearsal diary...
H- collapses
D- Heero NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
All- give strange looks
2)- Twas me I tell you, me! HA HA! HA HA! You will all be my minions before the day is out! HA HA! HA! HA HA! Evil Lord Faith Strikes again!
W- What ever you say, Elfy.
2)- HEY!
K- NO ONE CARES ABOUT MEEEE! (Runs off in fit of tears)
S- Well that was original!
SCENE 1- Scene A4
W- Five four three two one, Marker!
K- I'm not going on.
H- (Twiddles thumbs centre stage)
S- HEERO! Practise the Tai Chi!
H- NO! (Voice breaks)
D- HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
R- LEAVE HIM ALONE! ARGH! (Dives on Duo) Actually, you ought to do this more often so I can jump on you!
2)- GET OFF OF HIM! (Pulls Ruthy off. Game of slapsies commences)
D- Why does everyone love me?
3)- Well, because those two are entirely demented, I'd have to say the hair. (Slaps high five with Wu-fei)
D- HEY!
S- Heero, do the Tai Chi. (despairingly)
H- No. (folds arms across chest and pouts)
S- That's it! Heero, get off my stage now! Wu-fei you're on!
W- Me?
K- TASHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Runs away screaming)
S- GRRRRRR!
Q- Whoah, look at her temples...
T- I think she's gonna explode.
P- Ben, you have to save the day!
B- But why?
P- Because your Ben, and everyone either wants you to save the day, or f off and die a painful gruesome death.
B- Ah, I see. How can I save the day though? All I have is a grand Piano and a rather convenient drum kit!
P- Use the...
B- Use the force? Are you mad man? Last time I did that look what happened to that chemical factory in france!
P- NO! Use the forks!
B- Forks? But for what?
P- Just go!
B- (Snatches up two forks from the munchies bar. He throws one at Tasha.)
T- (turns round, about to explode) WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!
B- errrrrrrrrrrrrm............ (Runs over and hugs Tasha)
C- And once again, the day is saved, thanks to Ben Adams!
I- Dude, I didn't know you were the announcer for the power puff girls?
C- Well, only on my days off (drops the voice) Ok, back now.
S- Can we cut please?
W- I guessed that...
Scene 1 A4... again
S- Ok, now that we've revised the scene, can we please get on with this before if gets to fourteen bloody pages!
M- Do you still REALLY think we're gonna get everything done in 7 pages?
Cat- I don't.
S- Me neither. We're gonna give it a go for this scene, and maybe another one, but I doubt more than that.
W- Can we please get rolling as we have now hit 7 pages?
S- Yes, OK, OK. Heero, remember the Tai chi. KJ, you start on scene, Got it?
H- STOP!
S- grrrr what now?
H- I think I need bigger shoes. I'm supposed to be taller than KJ, aren't I?
D- snigger
S- I have a plan... (Wrings hands)
.......................................
D- This is so not fair!
H- I actually think it's quite good. (Stamps on Duo's back as he climbs up)
D- OWCHNESS!!!
S- snigger
K- Can we just get this over and done with?
W- Take 2, five four three two one, marker!
H,K- (begin doing Tai chi exercisy thingies. The begin to turn to do the second wave when...)
D- ARGH HE'S TREADING ON MY BRAID!
S- SHUT UP! (Throws script at him)
D- Owwy! Snivel
H,K- (finish thingies. Sara turns off dodgy music and turns on other dodgier music)
K- Thanks Angel.
H- No sweat.
K- erm...
S- (whispering) the dodgy line, the dodgy line!
K- Oh, yeah! When shall I come over again?
H- (rolls eyes) Whenever you need me
D- AHHAHAHAHAHAH mmmmmffmfmfmfmff! (Tasha stuffs socks in his mouth)
K- Angel I... lameness....
H- Shhh, you don't need to say anything. Please don't say anything, you'll only make things worse.
K- But I have to say something; things can't go on this way! I'm going to castrate someone for this
H- Shh... (Puts finger in front of her mouth)... me too
K- Angel... (Two move closer together, lights fade).
W- And cut.
S- YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WE ACTUALLY DID A SCENE!
D- mmgfmmfmfmfmfmmfm!
W- I don't dare say anything now... DAMNIT!
S- Why, what's the matter?
W- look... at the... page count...
S- OH NO! The horror!
D- Still, we did get the scene finished inside the 7 pages.
T- True, we did. I think we all deserve a holiday.
D- Or my rendition of 'I'm to sexy'!
All- NO!
K- I didn't have to touch Heero!
H- I got to tread on Duo!
K,H- YAY!
Cat- I'm still not happy.
S- What's wrong with you now?
Cat- You really want to know?
S- Yes actually, I do! I mean, you share your bed with someone but you can't share your secrets sob
R- Tasha, (pops head out Quatre's dressing room (I'm going to kill her)) do you have any idea how gay that sounded?
S- Probably, why?
R- Good, Ok, busy now! (Dives back inside (so killing her))
Cat- Ok, I'll tell you. Its... its baby Nataku!
W- PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THE NAME!
S- What's wrong with...
W-NOT THE NAME! Sob
Cat- It's gone! Sob
Q- (pops head out of dressing room) Can we please stop the sobbing, it's doing my head in!
S- What happened to it?
Cat- One of the evil dogs that we're in the episode of GDW where the guys were on the beach and there was a pineapple and Quatre was being depressed and then he did gay running!
Q- (muffled) HEY!
S- oh I remember those, the evil guard dogs!
Cat- Uhuh snivel
H- This what you're looking for? (Pulls dog out of Ben's back pocket)
B- What's that doing in there? I sure hope it didn't chew on the nuke.
S- (snatches doll and hands it to cat)
Cat- (see first chapter, Paul and Mr Monkey? This is worse. Much worse) Thankyou so much! Aww poor baby Nataku... I'll take you back to beddy byes yes I will! (Scampers off to Tasha's trailer.)
L- I've got a question Wu-man. Why the heck did you have an Amazing Aly doll in the first place?
W- (flushing red) ME! A girls doll? PERLEASE! I never owned that!... (sidles away) now if you'll excuse me, the cat owes me money... (Runs off after cat)
S- Oh dear...
Oh dear lord we've run onto a ninth page!
Now, ehem, after a very successful day of solving problems AND (however amazingly) getting work done, we are left with only a few short questions!
Why oh why did Wu-fei ever even want to own an Amazing Aly doll?
How does Ben fit all that in his back pockets and where did he get that Rolex?
Why is everyone attracted to Duo?
What the heck were Quatre and Ruth doing in his dressing room and did it include the red spangly number?
And finally, Really what are those holes for?
Maybe Quatre will be able to tell us some of these answers in the next hopefully 7 pages long edition of our fantastic behind the scenes series...
KAJA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!!!!!
KAJA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
And her slayerettes
And the camera crew
And the stage management team...
AND THE CAT
AND WUFEI!!!
Quick run over of parts...
K- KJ (Buffy)
L- Tammy (Cordelia)
R- Ruth (Syam Bailey in this chapter)
S- Tasha (Willow pre gayness)
D- Duo (Xander)
H- Heero (Angel ps...HAHHAHAH)
T- Trowa (Rilay!)
Q- Quatre (Giles...so so sorry)
B- Ben (Wesley...SOOOOOOO sorry)
P- Paul (Spike...not sorry)
W- Wu-fei (head Camera Person, and Faith snigger (W- INJUSTICE!!))
C- Caz (Head of special effects and treasurer...she bought the damn spinny chairs)
M- Mark (Coffee boy)
I- Christian (Camera assistant)
1)- Kerry (Stage Manager)
2)- Steph (Professional Duo oogler...ehem I mean Wardrobe and Makeup!)
3)- Sara (Lighting and sound director)
Wu-fei still hasn't grown up. Caz has calmed down after revealing she and Ben (SATAN) had had an argument and they had now made up. We still don't know what the holes are for and we are still a blank as to what the hell is up with the cat! Anyway, we enter the scene and Kaja the Vampire Slayer headquarters as everyone is in makeup, apart from Quatre, Ben, Tasha, Heero and of course the camera crew and stage management team...
B- What ya playing?
Q- Oh, it's my favourite song! (Puts down his violin) It's called eternal wind. I think my nursemaid used to sing it to me... I can't remember... (Goes misty eyed)
2)- What a POOF!
S- (Punches Steph in the face) I think it's beautiful Quatre... but still, I'm sure I've heard it before...
Q,S- Hmm...
K- Quit it!
Q- Sorry, anyway, can I get back to my playing?
B- Hey, I can play the violin too! (Pulls violin out of those damned blue trousers (yes he's wearing them (why, we don't know)))
Q- Great!
B- I'd love to play along... but I guess there's only one violin part...
Q- Yeah... but you can play along to the piano part if you'd like!
B- Hey! (Puts Violin away) I can play the piano too! (Pulls out huge white grand piano (yes from the same place! He keeps heavy artillery in the other back pocket))
Q- Great!
Q,B- start playing the song again.
H- That's a dumb song.
S- Hey!
H- Well it is! It's about as dumb as that song by that boy band...what was it called? Like a ...rose I think.
K- HEY!!! (Pokes Heero repeatedly)
H- Quit it, quit it, QUIT IT!
S- Ben wrote that song!
B- (Looks upset)
H- Well it sucks!
S- I bet you couldn't write anything that good at age 16!
H- Actually...
K- Oh no...
H- I wrote a little something a while back, but it's probably not any good.
Q,B- Let me see! (Look at each other, giggle)
K,S- groan
H- (Pull's piece of paper out of Spandex space)
Q- Hey, this is pretty good.
B- Very nice rhythm. I like it.
Q- How about we play it?
B- There's no piano part! Snivel
Q- There's a rocking bass line though...
H- You're not playing it.
B- Actually... (Puts grand Piano away, pulls out huge full size drum kit) Taadaa!
K- The question is, can you play it?
H- (Looks pleadingly at KJ, then glares) He's not GOING to play it at all!
S- (ignoring Heero) Of course he can play it, why else would he carry it around?
B- Heh, sure I can... (Pulls out Rolex)
All- Ooooo!
B- (presses button. Everyone freezes. Starts learning drum kit like a sim. Learns drum kit. Sighs, stands up and presses another button. Time returns. (And you really believe he didn't go off exploring and messing around whilst it was stopped?!))
S- Ew! (Slaps Heero as he hastily removes his hand from up her top, looking extremely bemused and beetroot coloured.)
Q- choke (coughs in disbelief at where his hand is)
K- QUATRE! (Slaps him)
Q- I DID NOTHING! ...Ow... :"o
H- 0_0...
B- (Raises eyebrow) tut, teenagers these days, really can't control themselves... (Sniggers as he sees Wu-fei disgustedly prying his lips from the cat, who is scratching his face off, Caz in an embrace with the camera, Mark and Chris suddenly springing apart in horror at where their hands had just been, Sara holding a piece of paper saying "I HATE HAIRCUTS ON GUYS! I LOVE DUO!" and Kerry holding one saying "I HATE ROCK! BRING BACK LOLLY!" and Steph holding one saying "I WANT TO BE A NUN!". Screams can be heard clearly from wardrobe and makeup.) Erm... anyway, back to the song, sure I can play drums!
S- Would you play them for me? (Flutters eyelashes)
K- (wretches)
B- Sure, Quat, if you pick up the violin line.
H- (still beetroot) WHAT DID I JUST SAY? YOU ARE SOOOOOO NOT PLAYING MY SONG!
B- Sure Heero, erm by the way, what's it called, and what letter is this chord?
H- groan The chords C major, and the song is called 'The Wings of The Boy Who Killed Adolesence'...
K- Catchy title, and it soooo suits you, killer man!
H- (goes to pull out gun, but thinks better of it) I'll pretend you didn't say that...
K- Sure whatever Killer man.
S- KJ, kill the teasing.
K- He's the killer man, snigger, ask him to kill it.
H- (storms off)
K- hysterics
S- You are so immature.
Q- So what's on the cards for today?
S- I have something in mind... HAHHAHAAHHAHAH!
K- gulp
B- *goes off into day dream about hot scenes between willow and Wesley (ktvs stylee of course))
S- Ben! Snap out of it!
B- Whadda?
Q- I told him not to drink that vodka...
Well, Ladies and gents, this being an extended chapter, which will probably be longer than the usual 7 pages, because I intend to do two scenes, and we've already used up at least 3, we better get on with the show. Let's set the scene in the meeting area. Everyone is gathered in a congregation, Tasha, floating so all can see her. The stage managers are busying themselves with set and the camera and coffee crew are spinning on the spinny chairs...
S- Hey everybody!
All- Hi Doctor Nick!
S- Haha very funny!
1)- Hey! There's a drum kit in the way of bookcase number 4-0!
B- Whoops! (Shoves drum kit into his pocket)
D- How...
T- Don't ask.
S- Anyway, people, as we've wasted about a week on set due to various cast members... (Mutual glaring at Wu-fei, Duo, Quatre, Mark and Christian. God, it's something about the gender, ain't it?) I want to get two scenes done today, so we might run over time.
D- Oh man! I'm gonna miss sailor moon! She is so hot...
R- She has huge eyes!
D- Exactly! Ever wondered why none of you 3D people ever get a date?
All (apart from anime)- glare
W- Nice going Duo.
T- I thought when we said stuff at that meeting it never left the room!
Q- (vanishes into dressing room)
S- Anyway... (Still glaring at Duo) today we are going to cover scene B2, scene A4, and hopefully scene C2.
D- You actually think we are gonna get all that done in seven pages of type?
S- We can damn well try!
Q- Erm, I don't seem to have scene C2...
S- That's coz I just wrote it... HAHHAA! (Shudder from cast and crew)
D- Oh no, what's she gone and done now?
K- blanches white (she's just read scene A4)
H- blanches white (he's just read scene A4)
D- eyes boggle (he's just read scene A4) HAHAHAHAHAHA!
H- I.. er...erm...
K- That's it! I QUIT RIGHT NOW!
S- Oh no u don't. Look at the contract.
K- looks BUT I DIDN'T KNOW BACK THEN WHO WAS WHO!
S- Look, we are doing the scene, OK?
H- choke wheeze
Q- Heero, breathe
B- This is not gonna look good in the rehearsal diary...
H- collapses
D- Heero NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
All- give strange looks
2)- Twas me I tell you, me! HA HA! HA HA! You will all be my minions before the day is out! HA HA! HA! HA HA! Evil Lord Faith Strikes again!
W- What ever you say, Elfy.
2)- HEY!
K- NO ONE CARES ABOUT MEEEE! (Runs off in fit of tears)
S- Well that was original!
SCENE 1- Scene A4
W- Five four three two one, Marker!
K- I'm not going on.
H- (Twiddles thumbs centre stage)
S- HEERO! Practise the Tai Chi!
H- NO! (Voice breaks)
D- HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA
R- LEAVE HIM ALONE! ARGH! (Dives on Duo) Actually, you ought to do this more often so I can jump on you!
2)- GET OFF OF HIM! (Pulls Ruthy off. Game of slapsies commences)
D- Why does everyone love me?
3)- Well, because those two are entirely demented, I'd have to say the hair. (Slaps high five with Wu-fei)
D- HEY!
S- Heero, do the Tai Chi. (despairingly)
H- No. (folds arms across chest and pouts)
S- That's it! Heero, get off my stage now! Wu-fei you're on!
W- Me?
K- TASHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Runs away screaming)
S- GRRRRRR!
Q- Whoah, look at her temples...
T- I think she's gonna explode.
P- Ben, you have to save the day!
B- But why?
P- Because your Ben, and everyone either wants you to save the day, or f off and die a painful gruesome death.
B- Ah, I see. How can I save the day though? All I have is a grand Piano and a rather convenient drum kit!
P- Use the...
B- Use the force? Are you mad man? Last time I did that look what happened to that chemical factory in france!
P- NO! Use the forks!
B- Forks? But for what?
P- Just go!
B- (Snatches up two forks from the munchies bar. He throws one at Tasha.)
T- (turns round, about to explode) WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!
B- errrrrrrrrrrrrm............ (Runs over and hugs Tasha)
C- And once again, the day is saved, thanks to Ben Adams!
I- Dude, I didn't know you were the announcer for the power puff girls?
C- Well, only on my days off (drops the voice) Ok, back now.
S- Can we cut please?
W- I guessed that...
Scene 1 A4... again
S- Ok, now that we've revised the scene, can we please get on with this before if gets to fourteen bloody pages!
M- Do you still REALLY think we're gonna get everything done in 7 pages?
Cat- I don't.
S- Me neither. We're gonna give it a go for this scene, and maybe another one, but I doubt more than that.
W- Can we please get rolling as we have now hit 7 pages?
S- Yes, OK, OK. Heero, remember the Tai chi. KJ, you start on scene, Got it?
H- STOP!
S- grrrr what now?
H- I think I need bigger shoes. I'm supposed to be taller than KJ, aren't I?
D- snigger
S- I have a plan... (Wrings hands)
.......................................
D- This is so not fair!
H- I actually think it's quite good. (Stamps on Duo's back as he climbs up)
D- OWCHNESS!!!
S- snigger
K- Can we just get this over and done with?
W- Take 2, five four three two one, marker!
H,K- (begin doing Tai chi exercisy thingies. The begin to turn to do the second wave when...)
D- ARGH HE'S TREADING ON MY BRAID!
S- SHUT UP! (Throws script at him)
D- Owwy! Snivel
H,K- (finish thingies. Sara turns off dodgy music and turns on other dodgier music)
K- Thanks Angel.
H- No sweat.
K- erm...
S- (whispering) the dodgy line, the dodgy line!
K- Oh, yeah! When shall I come over again?
H- (rolls eyes) Whenever you need me
D- AHHAHAHAHAHAH mmmmmffmfmfmfmff! (Tasha stuffs socks in his mouth)
K- Angel I... lameness....
H- Shhh, you don't need to say anything. Please don't say anything, you'll only make things worse.
K- But I have to say something; things can't go on this way! I'm going to castrate someone for this
H- Shh... (Puts finger in front of her mouth)... me too
K- Angel... (Two move closer together, lights fade).
W- And cut.
S- YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WE ACTUALLY DID A SCENE!
D- mmgfmmfmfmfmfmmfm!
W- I don't dare say anything now... DAMNIT!
S- Why, what's the matter?
W- look... at the... page count...
S- OH NO! The horror!
D- Still, we did get the scene finished inside the 7 pages.
T- True, we did. I think we all deserve a holiday.
D- Or my rendition of 'I'm to sexy'!
All- NO!
K- I didn't have to touch Heero!
H- I got to tread on Duo!
K,H- YAY!
Cat- I'm still not happy.
S- What's wrong with you now?
Cat- You really want to know?
S- Yes actually, I do! I mean, you share your bed with someone but you can't share your secrets sob
R- Tasha, (pops head out Quatre's dressing room (I'm going to kill her)) do you have any idea how gay that sounded?
S- Probably, why?
R- Good, Ok, busy now! (Dives back inside (so killing her))
Cat- Ok, I'll tell you. Its... its baby Nataku!
W- PLEASE, DON'T MENTION THE NAME!
S- What's wrong with...
W-NOT THE NAME! Sob
Cat- It's gone! Sob
Q- (pops head out of dressing room) Can we please stop the sobbing, it's doing my head in!
S- What happened to it?
Cat- One of the evil dogs that we're in the episode of GDW where the guys were on the beach and there was a pineapple and Quatre was being depressed and then he did gay running!
Q- (muffled) HEY!
S- oh I remember those, the evil guard dogs!
Cat- Uhuh snivel
H- This what you're looking for? (Pulls dog out of Ben's back pocket)
B- What's that doing in there? I sure hope it didn't chew on the nuke.
S- (snatches doll and hands it to cat)
Cat- (see first chapter, Paul and Mr Monkey? This is worse. Much worse) Thankyou so much! Aww poor baby Nataku... I'll take you back to beddy byes yes I will! (Scampers off to Tasha's trailer.)
L- I've got a question Wu-man. Why the heck did you have an Amazing Aly doll in the first place?
W- (flushing red) ME! A girls doll? PERLEASE! I never owned that!... (sidles away) now if you'll excuse me, the cat owes me money... (Runs off after cat)
S- Oh dear...
Oh dear lord we've run onto a ninth page!
Now, ehem, after a very successful day of solving problems AND (however amazingly) getting work done, we are left with only a few short questions!
Why oh why did Wu-fei ever even want to own an Amazing Aly doll?
How does Ben fit all that in his back pockets and where did he get that Rolex?
Why is everyone attracted to Duo?
What the heck were Quatre and Ruth doing in his dressing room and did it include the red spangly number?
And finally, Really what are those holes for?
Maybe Quatre will be able to tell us some of these answers in the next hopefully 7 pages long edition of our fantastic behind the scenes series...
KAJA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!!!!!!!
