Breathing In Mortality
02. Pleasantries Go A Long Way
"I'm stupid, you're smarter
I'm stupid thinking there was a way
That this could turn out right
I'm dreaming, you woke up
And I should have known from the stare
That you were never right
'Cause if I can make you love me
You're out of reasons to stay
Make it easy on yourself
And don't worry 'bout me
Can't make you feel something you don't"
-PRIME sth, "I'm Stupid" / album: Underneath the Surface
He didn't want to do it. He didn't want to tell anyone; he didn't need their pity when they found out or their smart-ass remarks. He didn't need anybody…but…
He had no choice.
While Narcissa combed the mansion in search of her soon-to-be-gone son, Draco went through the gates at Hogsmeade and cimbed the steps to Hogwarts Castle. He could only assume that the professors knew of his predicament because no one gave him any crap; none of them asked why he was in the halls during classes (he, in turn, didn't ask them what they were doing either, when they should have been in class.)
He'd gotten library books from the most prestigious universities, libraries and wherever else…so what made him think Hogwarts had something to offer his anxious mind?
She was a mere half-witch, she couldn't help him. However, severely desperate times call for ridiculously desperate measures and he knew he needed her help. How to ask for it, was a different question all together. They hadn't been what you'd call "friendly" to one another over the years. Just because he'd stopped calling her that name last year, and she'd stopped showing off her intelligence didn't mean anything had changed between them. They still loathed each other with every inch of being they possessed.
Draco found her in the library when lunch rolled around. He felt no need to eat. Since he's going to die anyway, why bother nourishing the body that had just betrayed him?
He cleared his throat in an attempt to get her attention without drawing everyone else's attention to them. There were only a few other people in the library; all bookworms, like her.
Hermione flipped nonchalantly through a very large book, "If you want something, you can ask politely instead of dancing around over there trying to get ME to ask YOU."
Draco stepped forward, taking the cue she'd tossed him, "I think you just did. However, inadvertently."
She looked up at him finally, her face showing no emotion; she was the master at looking stoic. "What do you want, Malfoy?"
"I have a…hypothetical question to ask you." He took the seat beside her and she closed her book with a snap. "If you have time." He nearly laughed at the irony of that statement.
"I do," she replied slowly, surveying him quizzically, "But why are you being human?"
Draco snorted, "No need to be so pleasant, Granger. Don't bother pretending you like me."
She raised an eyebrow at him, "I'm not pretending I like you; I don't like you."
"It's called sarcasm. Look it up in the dictionary," he replied scathingly.
Hermione nodded, ignoring the bait he'd thrown for her to continue the argument. "You're wasting my time. PLEASE get on with it already, Malfoy." Almost to herself, she added, "I don't even know why I'm bothering with you, it's not like you've ever bothered with me."
"That's not by choice," he said quickly, "Just simply…how life is. You know?"
Slowly, she cocked her head to the side and peered at him as if she'd never seen him before. Blandly, she replied, "Yes. I know." She crossed her arms across the large volume in front of her. "What's the question?"
"Oh," he said, caught off guard. He'd hoped to sidestep the question for a bit longer. He needed to find himself a path to her good side, even though it'd probably kill him in the process. "Well."
Hermione smiled a little, "You're so articulate, Draco."
He laughed, "Yes, well, you know. Malfoys---" He stopped himself and stared at her, "You called me Draco."
"Indeed," Hermione agreed, "I hate saying 'Malfoy.' I detest that name."
"As do I," Draco admitted quietly. "Anyway. I have a medical…hypothetical question."
"I don't know much about medicine. I mean, I do…but I'm hardly a doctor…or a trained professional."
"Since when are you modest?" Draco asked, grinning at her brightly.
Hermione shrugged, "Since today. As long as your question doesn't hinge on keeping someone alive, I can help."
"Thanks," he replied earnestly, "Do you know anything about the disease Snogishitielly? It's very rare and deadly--"
Hermoine's eyes grew wide, "I've read about it. There is one case per one hundred years. It's the rarest of wizard diseases and the most untreatable." She looked at him, hard, "Why?"
"Essay…detention. I got detention the other day and I have to write an essay on the, er, rarest disease there is." Draco cleared his throat, "Is there no way around it? I mean, do the people who have it actually die? Or can you sidestep the disease, you know, trick it? Is there a spell that will give m--someone immortality?"
"You wouldn't think so, would you…being that Voldemort would have had it used by now." She tapped her nose and he nodded, "However, the elixir of life---"
"Is totally destroyed," Draco cut her off, "Bloody hell."
"Well, yes," she replied hesitantly, "But there's still unknown whereabouts on something the Ministry dubbed 'Vervacity' which is, I understand, something like the fountain of youth…only instead of keeping you young, it keeps you alive until you're old enough so that you can die a 'normal' death."
"Is it a tiny pond somewhere out in the wilderness?" Draco asked interestedly, although he was half joking. He was surprised by how he was acting towards her, without any hostility, but he attributed this to the fact that there's no need for her to be his enemy if he's just going to die soon anyway. He seemed to have gotten to another step in the process: acceptance.
Her voice cut into his thoughts, "I'm not sure. The explanation of Vervacity is very short. They didn't go into great detail, probably because they don't want people out searching for it."
Draco was leaning forward now, all his attention on Hermione, "How do they know it exists?"
"About two hundred years ago, someone with a very, extremely fatal case of Snogishitielly claimed to have found it. They weren't sure what it was, so they didn't use it. It could have saved their lives…but they were careful and too cautious. The Ministry couldn't get any information on where it was because the person died before they could say anything other than that they'd found the 'fountain of life'. That's what the person called it. I think he only lived for about twelve years. Probably the Ministry didn't trust someone of that age." Hermione looked at a stack of books at the end of the table. "I could probably find you the book I read about it in, if you'd like."
"Oh, great. That'd be brilliant, thanks." Draco watched as Hermione went to ask the librarian for the key to the Restricted Section. Hermione, being head girl, had free reign of the Restricted Section now. Draco figured that was very wonderful for Potter and Weasley, who always wanted to cause trouble one way or another.
Hermione hummed to herself as she browsed the rows and rows of leather-bound books with tattered covers. Draco felt a small smile go onto his lips at the sight of her. For some reason he began seeing her, not as a bookworm who acted like she knew everything, but as a girl who was being nice to him even though he didn't deserve it. He'd never done anything to her that would warrant being friendly or civil. He wondered why she was treating him as she was.
"Might as well ask, ya got nothing to lose." Draco mumbled to himself, standing up and following her. "Hermione?"
Hermione spun around, probably not expecting him to use her given name. She looked back at the books, running her fingers along their spines, "Yeah."
"Why are you being nice to me?" He asked her seriously, leaning against a bookcase.
She sighed heavily and turned towards him, her eyes darting over his face, "Because I'm Head Girl and I need to set an example." She turned back to the books, indicating she was done the discussion.
Draco pushed on, "No, I don't think that's it. Do you know…do you know what's going on with me?"
Hermione shook her head, "Only that you haven't called me that name for years and that you've stayed out of my way. I've just been thinking that maybe you're growing up and I felt the need to grow up with you." She shrugged, "Plus, I noticed you haven't been looking or acting like yourself. You haven't been eating much and your grades are really plunging. You haven't even bothered Harry or Ron for weeks. I'm beginning to think you're renounced…you know what…and I guess I think that is enough reason to be nice."
He took a step closer to her, "If I had known you were like this all these years…I never would have treated you the way I did." Draco kissed her very quickly on the cheek and she blushed furiously before going back on the hunt for the one book.
As she searched, she kept one eye locked on him. He looked different to her, not in the conventional way. Yes, he looked pale, sunken in and nearly dead…but he also had a warm, virtuous glow about him that made her smile to herself and wonder; she wondered if maybe she'd be right about him all along.
Maybe he wasn't what he seemed to be at all; maybe he was like her.
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A/N: The next chapter will be up really soon. Join my yahoo group for up to the minute updates.
