April 5th

It's funny, the Ministry said that we have to keep writing in these journals and I'm kind of relieved. If we didn't have to, I wouldn't keep writing, but because it's mandatory, I will, and in a strange way, I want to. This book has been a companion to me. I don't have to worry that it will reveal my secrets, or turn it's back, and I don't have to ask if it's alright, if it wants to turn back and go home. It's Hermione's birthday tomorrow, and I've turned my back on her, barely communicating with her all year. She says it's not my fault, that I've had way to much to deal with this year, but I'm going to get her a good gift anyway. Not a book, Hermione loves books, but that isn't what she really wants. I bought her a car. Foolish you may say, for a witch, but Hermione goes home every summer and waits for her parents to drive her around, or walks, but this year, she can drive herself around. Herself and Draco, who's going home with her. But Hermione will not drive to the movies, she will drive across Britain, to pick me up from wherever I am staying, so that I do not spend my holiday alone. Then she'll drive all of us to pick up Ron so that I will not be alone on the trip home. She will ask Draco to get out and drive so she can turn around and talk to me, so that I will not feel left out. And I will talk to her. I'll be interested in what she has to say. I will talk about Quidditch and the Cannons to Ron, I will talk about the future, and books to Hermione. Because I feel a bit better about myself now. I feel like I can go out in the sun and not crumble, like I can have a girlfriend and not ignore her. Maybe it wasn't this book, maybe this was just a bad year or something, but I'm happier, and I'd like to have something to credit it to.

Harry