But it wasn't all right.
Megumi patched up Michiko's arm as best she could. It was pretty well torn up; broken bones jutted out through her skin, her shoulder was dislocated, muscles and tendons all ripped apart. She didn't cry at all as Megumi tended to her, just sat there staring blankly ahead. At one point, she simply popped her arm back into place as if it were nothing.
Then she sighed a deep mournful sigh, sinking dow as if exhausted. It didn't matter any more. Nothing mattered. There was no pain. She had receded back into the darkness.
"How is her arm, Miss Megumi?"
Megumi looked up. Kenshin was in the doorway. She stood, pushing him out of the room. Once outside, she looked at him seriously. "I think it'll get better, but she probably won't be able to use it very well -if at all- ever again."
"Can you tell if he had broken it before? She has always been slow on that side of her body."
"I'm not sure, Sir Ken. Her arm was mangled. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the first time though. She relocated her shoulder all by herself and she didn't shed a single tear."
"I'm afraid she's locked herself away again; that she has. I'm afraid that even Sanosuke may not be able to help her now."
"Where is Sanosuke? Shouldn't he be in there with her?"
"Sano's terribly upset about everything, Miss Megumi. Tonight of all nights was the first time he went out drinking with his friends since Michiko has been here."
"He was drunk when he fought Gohei?"
"That he was. He loves her very much and he feels that it is all his fault that this happened."
Megumi looked at Kenshin for a moment, then over her shoulder and back into the room where Michiko lay sleeping. "He better get over that, or she might slip farther away. She needs him more than he knows."
"This is very true. But I am afraid that there is not much you and I can do about it."
She looked down porch to where Sano was sitting, Yoshi bunched up on his lap. The little boy was crying, making small snuffling noises. Sano was hugging the boy, tears running down his face. "I'm sorry, Kid. I let you and your mom down."
"Sano, you did everything you could." Kaoru sat down beside the two of them.
"You don't understand, Missy. I promised I'd keep her safe. I promised that he'd never hurt her. And I let her down. I broke the most important promise I ever made. She could've died because of me."
"But she didn't. You saved her life. I don't think she'll be upset."
"You don't get it, do you? She's gone."
"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'?"
"She's a shadow again. You saw her back there. The look on her face...I don't think she even saw us. She was looking right through me. It gave me the creeps, Kaoru. I've lost her. She's gone."
"You must never give up hope, Sanosuke." Came the pleasant voice of Kenshin.
"She's not coming back, Kenshin. Even when she had those moments, even when she talked about him, she was never this far gone. Never that blank." Sano looked up, his eyes meeting Kenshin's, "He destroyed her."
"You should get some sleep, Sano; that you should. Things will look better tomorrow. Let me take Yoshi and put him to bed."
"I can't sleep now. Not with her there like that. She was just a little kid, Kenshin. It wasn't right. None of it was right."
"It's hard to see the people we love suffer." Kenshin glanced at Kaoru, who blushed, "It makes us hurt too. But keep your head up. As long as you live, you can hope."
Sano looked at Kenshin a moment longer, then his gaze traveled down to Yoshi. The toddler looked back at him, his wide eyes pooled with tears. Sano smiled slightly, his forehead resting against the child's. "Your mama said to me that I gave hope to hopeless. What do you think of that, Kiddo?"
"Ya. Mama right." He hugged Sano. A sad smile; a yawn. "He gone 'cause a you."
Sano stood up. "C'mon, Kiddo. Let's go to bed."
"Mama first."
"You want to make sure she's okay?"
A nod.
Sanosuke took Yoshi into the little room where Michiko slept. The boy's small hand ran across his mother's face, gently tracing all her features. He rested his head on her chest as if listening to her heart. "Love you, Mama." He said softly.
Sano watched, transfixed. How easily the boy could do what he could not; what he wished he could do. If only-
"I wanna stay with Mama."
He looked down. Yoshi stood gazing intently up at him, a deadly serious look on his face. He had never before realized how much he towered over the small boy. As he looked at the child, Michiko's voice ran through his head. If something happens to me; promise you'll keep Yoshi safe. It was as if she knew! He had promised. Now was time to make good on that promise.
"All right. You can stay. But I am too."
" 'Kay."
Yoshi curled up on his mother's left side, crawling under the blankets with her. He snuggled up to her, his head under her chin, a small smile on his face.
Sano sighed. "I hope you'll be okay, Michiko." He said quietly, "I know how hard on you this is and I know I broke my promise, and I'm really sorry." He longed to be cuddled up with them; to be the one telling her "love ya;" to kiss her and not have her shrink away. "I hope you can forgive me."
Megumi poked her head into the room before she left and what she saw made her smile. Michiko, sleeping peacefully, Yoshi cuddled up at her side. Sanosuke lay a few feet away, on his stomach, his chin rested on his hands. He seemed to be sleeping fitfully and looked most uncomfortable. Megumi shook her head slightly, wondering if Michiko knew just how lucky she truly was.
***
"What's wrong with Michi, Uncle Kenny?"
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
Kenshin looked down at the expectant faces of Aiyami and Suzume, wondering just what to tell them. Michiko had been sitting in the same spot on the porch for days, moving only to go to sleep. Her dark eyes were blank and staring, looking at something only she could see. She never spoke, never ate, never responded to anything but Yoshi. Even the interaction with her small son was limited, however. She just sat and no one knew what would be able to reach her heart in the end.
"Is she sick? Should we get Grandpa?"
"Is she sick?"
The little girls seemed to have forgotten the way Michiko had been when they first met her. They knew her only as the girl who had plenty of time to play with them and have fun.
"She's not sick." Kenshin finally answered, "Her arm hurts her very much and she does not feel like playing."
"Oh."
"Okay."
It wasn't a lie really, but it wasn't the truth either. He doubted that she even realized anything had happened to her arm. But she certainly was hurting somehow and he wondered what thoughts were running through her mind. How far gone was she?
Sanosuke sat beside her sometimes; not close, he was afraid of what she would do. He'd talk to her, tell her how he'd take her here or there when she was up to it, all the things they had to look forward to. He was never certain if she heard him, but he talked anyway, never telling her the things he really wanted to, but always wishing he could.
What went through Michiko's mind all that time? No much. It was like a black hole -things went in, but nothing ever came out. And she heard not only what people told her, but what they didn't say as well. A thousand small "I love yous" marched through her, trying to pound their way into her heart. Sanosuke's feelings were not lost upon her, rather they were stored until she could respond properly to them; until she was free from herself.
Yoshi seemed to understand what was wrong with his mother, but he didn't have the vocabulary or the ability to articulate exactly what it was to the others. He was attentive to her, making sure to tell her if he was going somewhere or if he had done something new.
Having nothing more to do, Yoshi became Yahiko's constant shadow, following the older boy around, asking him questions and generally behaving in the way two year olds do. Yahiko seemed to enjoy this. He reveled in the idea of being Yoshi's "sensei." So he enlisted the small boy to help him with his chores. He taught him new words and let him play with his wooden sword. They were both happy with this, and it seemed that Yoshi had forgotten all about what happened the night his mother stopped speaking.
"Mama, I go with Yahiko, 'kay?" Became Yoshi's standard phrase. He'd pat her hand, then -not expecting an answer- run off, his thin hair flying around his face.
"You are very lucky, Miss Michiko; that you are." Kenshin sat down beside her one day, that knowing smile on his face, "Sanosuke refuses to give up on you. I know he hasn't said it, but he loves you very much. He sits here and talks to you because he loves you. I know that you can hear me. I know that there is a person trapped somewhere inside. You want to slip into the shadows once again, but you cannot. You've got to rage against that dying light. There is still hope."
Her own voice came to her, rattling around in her mind, a fleeting memory of things which seemed too long in the past to be real. You gave hope to hopeless...Had she really said that? It seemed like it had been ages ago. Why had I said that again? That's right, I said it to Sanosuke after he had...after he...Without meaning to, she blushed at the thought of his kiss.
Kenshin smiled to himself as he rose. He placed one hand under her chin, raising her face, her vacant eyes meeting his amethyst ones. "Head up. Stop looking in all the wrong places," He said gently, "Or you'll never find what you're looking for."
She looked at him -really looked at him- for a moment. Then she turned away, dropping her gaze back to the ground.
Kenshin shuffled off, leaving her there alone. He knew she's find her was soon and then there would be no more turning away.
"Michiko?" Sanosuke found her there, head down, hair falling across her face. He crouched down before her. She was bunched up, as if trying to hide from the world. "Hey..." He rested a hand on her shoulder, but she flinched and he pulled it back, "Are you okay?"
She looked up at him, slowly raising her head. Her eyes were wide and tears poured down her face. She clutched her bandaged arm, staring at him, those dark eyes full of agony. "Make it go away." Her eyes seemed to beg, "Make it all just go away."
"...Michiko..." She looked so damn distraught. It broke his heart to see her crying. A sad look crossed his face. "Look, I don't know exactly what's hurting you right now. I wish I could've done more to prevent all of this. I feel like I let you down. I'm sorry that I let him hurt you. I'm sorry I broke my promise. But you know, there's one thing I'm not sorry for."
"?" She looked at him, the anguish in her eyes fading as tears continued to drip from her chin.
"I...I..." Sweat trickled down his face as he turned beat red. Come on and say it already, Sano! "I love you."
Her eyes went wide, her lower lip trembled, forming the word "no." How can he? How? I'm not worth it. He got hurt because of me. Doesn't he understand that? Why doesn't he understand? Her mind was in turmoil. She sighed in frustration, averting her eyes from his troubled face.
"Come on, don't do this." He pleaded, "Don't you look away. Say something. You can even say you hate me like you used to. I can't stand you sitting here, not talking." He touched her hair, but she jerked away. He felt hurt for a moment. He'd thought saying he loved her might have helped. "Fine then." His voice wavered only slightly, "Turn away. Forget me. Forget it all. Let it go. It won't stop my love for you."
Her shoulders slumped, whether from defeat or exhaustion he knew not. He looked at his feet, tears gathering in his eyes. She glanced over at him as he continued speaking. "I'm not going to stop, you know. I'll keep coming back. Forever, just like I said." His voice held a hint of misery.
"I hate you." Her voice was such a soft whisper he wasn't really sure at first if she even spoke, but there; she repeated herself. "I hate you. It isn't right. It isn't. Everything is wrong. You're not supposed to love me any more." Her head fell into her hand, muffling her voice, "Why can't you stop? That's how it should be..." More tears, "...I hate you..."
Silence. Both sat there. A dull ache was rising up in Michiko's heart; something she hadn't felt in a long time. She clutched at her dead arm, trying to fight the emotions she didn't want to feel, to return to the surreal state she had once existed in. Sanosuke couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He remained there, blinded by tears, wishing he had some way to make it all just disappear. She didn't love him. She didn't want anything to do with him. Kenshin was wrong.
Kenshin was wrong! Sano was very angry then. She hated him! The world was crashing down around him. Everything ceased to be when she turned away. Why does it have to be like this? How did it happen this way? When did I lose control? He buried his face in his hands. Why is it like this? Tears slid through his fingers. "I'm sorry; dammit, I'm sorry..." He mumbled over and over again.
Daylight turned to dusk. Neither of them had moved. Kaoru went out of her way to pass by every now and then, wondering how long they'd sit ignoring each other when they were so obviously in love. Yoshi came and went a few times, a worried look on his face.
Kenshin offered them both dinner, trying to ignore Sano's angry face and Michiko's vacant one. They both ignored him, continuing to sit in stony silence. A frown crossed the Battôsai's face. Something needed to be done. Something needed to change.
The same thought crossed Sanosuke's mind. He couldn't stand it any more. He didn't care if she hated him. He loved her; that's all there was to it. He moved a little closer to her, drawing her tiny body into his arms. He figured she would pull away, but resolved to not let her go. One hand ran across her hair, the other held her close to him.
She didn't fight it; she always felt safe in his lap, his strong arms around her. It felt good to be touched by him again; to be held tight. He loved her. He loved her so much; so unconditionally. Tears filled her eyes. He was careful of her arm -not that it mattered; the nerves were destroyed; she couldn't feel anything. Her head rested over his heart. "You're not going to go away, are you?"
"No. No...I promise. Never." He held her to him, stroking her hair. "As long as you want me, I'll stay."
A slight, shy smile; that familiar blush crept across her face. "Stay. I don't hate you. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
"I know. I don't care. And I'm sorry too."
"You already said that." Her smile widened, "And I heard it the very first time. I wish I could have told you sooner, but sometimes," Her voice lowered, "When you're in the darkness too long, you forget how to shine."
"Keep smiling." He touched her tear-stained face, "That's a good way to do it."
Her eyes closed for a moment as she listened to his heart beating, then she looked back up at him. "Tell me how much you love me." She whispered.
He smiled softly, kissed her forehead. "With all my heart."
His arms around her; how safe and warm and oh-so-happy she felt. If she could stay that way forever...But something still nagged her. There was something that still wasn't right. She still had some lingering fear. She was still afraid of something...But what?
Megumi patched up Michiko's arm as best she could. It was pretty well torn up; broken bones jutted out through her skin, her shoulder was dislocated, muscles and tendons all ripped apart. She didn't cry at all as Megumi tended to her, just sat there staring blankly ahead. At one point, she simply popped her arm back into place as if it were nothing.
Then she sighed a deep mournful sigh, sinking dow as if exhausted. It didn't matter any more. Nothing mattered. There was no pain. She had receded back into the darkness.
"How is her arm, Miss Megumi?"
Megumi looked up. Kenshin was in the doorway. She stood, pushing him out of the room. Once outside, she looked at him seriously. "I think it'll get better, but she probably won't be able to use it very well -if at all- ever again."
"Can you tell if he had broken it before? She has always been slow on that side of her body."
"I'm not sure, Sir Ken. Her arm was mangled. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the first time though. She relocated her shoulder all by herself and she didn't shed a single tear."
"I'm afraid she's locked herself away again; that she has. I'm afraid that even Sanosuke may not be able to help her now."
"Where is Sanosuke? Shouldn't he be in there with her?"
"Sano's terribly upset about everything, Miss Megumi. Tonight of all nights was the first time he went out drinking with his friends since Michiko has been here."
"He was drunk when he fought Gohei?"
"That he was. He loves her very much and he feels that it is all his fault that this happened."
Megumi looked at Kenshin for a moment, then over her shoulder and back into the room where Michiko lay sleeping. "He better get over that, or she might slip farther away. She needs him more than he knows."
"This is very true. But I am afraid that there is not much you and I can do about it."
She looked down porch to where Sano was sitting, Yoshi bunched up on his lap. The little boy was crying, making small snuffling noises. Sano was hugging the boy, tears running down his face. "I'm sorry, Kid. I let you and your mom down."
"Sano, you did everything you could." Kaoru sat down beside the two of them.
"You don't understand, Missy. I promised I'd keep her safe. I promised that he'd never hurt her. And I let her down. I broke the most important promise I ever made. She could've died because of me."
"But she didn't. You saved her life. I don't think she'll be upset."
"You don't get it, do you? She's gone."
"Gone? What do you mean 'gone'?"
"She's a shadow again. You saw her back there. The look on her face...I don't think she even saw us. She was looking right through me. It gave me the creeps, Kaoru. I've lost her. She's gone."
"You must never give up hope, Sanosuke." Came the pleasant voice of Kenshin.
"She's not coming back, Kenshin. Even when she had those moments, even when she talked about him, she was never this far gone. Never that blank." Sano looked up, his eyes meeting Kenshin's, "He destroyed her."
"You should get some sleep, Sano; that you should. Things will look better tomorrow. Let me take Yoshi and put him to bed."
"I can't sleep now. Not with her there like that. She was just a little kid, Kenshin. It wasn't right. None of it was right."
"It's hard to see the people we love suffer." Kenshin glanced at Kaoru, who blushed, "It makes us hurt too. But keep your head up. As long as you live, you can hope."
Sano looked at Kenshin a moment longer, then his gaze traveled down to Yoshi. The toddler looked back at him, his wide eyes pooled with tears. Sano smiled slightly, his forehead resting against the child's. "Your mama said to me that I gave hope to hopeless. What do you think of that, Kiddo?"
"Ya. Mama right." He hugged Sano. A sad smile; a yawn. "He gone 'cause a you."
Sano stood up. "C'mon, Kiddo. Let's go to bed."
"Mama first."
"You want to make sure she's okay?"
A nod.
Sanosuke took Yoshi into the little room where Michiko slept. The boy's small hand ran across his mother's face, gently tracing all her features. He rested his head on her chest as if listening to her heart. "Love you, Mama." He said softly.
Sano watched, transfixed. How easily the boy could do what he could not; what he wished he could do. If only-
"I wanna stay with Mama."
He looked down. Yoshi stood gazing intently up at him, a deadly serious look on his face. He had never before realized how much he towered over the small boy. As he looked at the child, Michiko's voice ran through his head. If something happens to me; promise you'll keep Yoshi safe. It was as if she knew! He had promised. Now was time to make good on that promise.
"All right. You can stay. But I am too."
" 'Kay."
Yoshi curled up on his mother's left side, crawling under the blankets with her. He snuggled up to her, his head under her chin, a small smile on his face.
Sano sighed. "I hope you'll be okay, Michiko." He said quietly, "I know how hard on you this is and I know I broke my promise, and I'm really sorry." He longed to be cuddled up with them; to be the one telling her "love ya;" to kiss her and not have her shrink away. "I hope you can forgive me."
Megumi poked her head into the room before she left and what she saw made her smile. Michiko, sleeping peacefully, Yoshi cuddled up at her side. Sanosuke lay a few feet away, on his stomach, his chin rested on his hands. He seemed to be sleeping fitfully and looked most uncomfortable. Megumi shook her head slightly, wondering if Michiko knew just how lucky she truly was.
***
"What's wrong with Michi, Uncle Kenny?"
"Yeah, what's wrong?"
Kenshin looked down at the expectant faces of Aiyami and Suzume, wondering just what to tell them. Michiko had been sitting in the same spot on the porch for days, moving only to go to sleep. Her dark eyes were blank and staring, looking at something only she could see. She never spoke, never ate, never responded to anything but Yoshi. Even the interaction with her small son was limited, however. She just sat and no one knew what would be able to reach her heart in the end.
"Is she sick? Should we get Grandpa?"
"Is she sick?"
The little girls seemed to have forgotten the way Michiko had been when they first met her. They knew her only as the girl who had plenty of time to play with them and have fun.
"She's not sick." Kenshin finally answered, "Her arm hurts her very much and she does not feel like playing."
"Oh."
"Okay."
It wasn't a lie really, but it wasn't the truth either. He doubted that she even realized anything had happened to her arm. But she certainly was hurting somehow and he wondered what thoughts were running through her mind. How far gone was she?
Sanosuke sat beside her sometimes; not close, he was afraid of what she would do. He'd talk to her, tell her how he'd take her here or there when she was up to it, all the things they had to look forward to. He was never certain if she heard him, but he talked anyway, never telling her the things he really wanted to, but always wishing he could.
What went through Michiko's mind all that time? No much. It was like a black hole -things went in, but nothing ever came out. And she heard not only what people told her, but what they didn't say as well. A thousand small "I love yous" marched through her, trying to pound their way into her heart. Sanosuke's feelings were not lost upon her, rather they were stored until she could respond properly to them; until she was free from herself.
Yoshi seemed to understand what was wrong with his mother, but he didn't have the vocabulary or the ability to articulate exactly what it was to the others. He was attentive to her, making sure to tell her if he was going somewhere or if he had done something new.
Having nothing more to do, Yoshi became Yahiko's constant shadow, following the older boy around, asking him questions and generally behaving in the way two year olds do. Yahiko seemed to enjoy this. He reveled in the idea of being Yoshi's "sensei." So he enlisted the small boy to help him with his chores. He taught him new words and let him play with his wooden sword. They were both happy with this, and it seemed that Yoshi had forgotten all about what happened the night his mother stopped speaking.
"Mama, I go with Yahiko, 'kay?" Became Yoshi's standard phrase. He'd pat her hand, then -not expecting an answer- run off, his thin hair flying around his face.
"You are very lucky, Miss Michiko; that you are." Kenshin sat down beside her one day, that knowing smile on his face, "Sanosuke refuses to give up on you. I know he hasn't said it, but he loves you very much. He sits here and talks to you because he loves you. I know that you can hear me. I know that there is a person trapped somewhere inside. You want to slip into the shadows once again, but you cannot. You've got to rage against that dying light. There is still hope."
Her own voice came to her, rattling around in her mind, a fleeting memory of things which seemed too long in the past to be real. You gave hope to hopeless...Had she really said that? It seemed like it had been ages ago. Why had I said that again? That's right, I said it to Sanosuke after he had...after he...Without meaning to, she blushed at the thought of his kiss.
Kenshin smiled to himself as he rose. He placed one hand under her chin, raising her face, her vacant eyes meeting his amethyst ones. "Head up. Stop looking in all the wrong places," He said gently, "Or you'll never find what you're looking for."
She looked at him -really looked at him- for a moment. Then she turned away, dropping her gaze back to the ground.
Kenshin shuffled off, leaving her there alone. He knew she's find her was soon and then there would be no more turning away.
"Michiko?" Sanosuke found her there, head down, hair falling across her face. He crouched down before her. She was bunched up, as if trying to hide from the world. "Hey..." He rested a hand on her shoulder, but she flinched and he pulled it back, "Are you okay?"
She looked up at him, slowly raising her head. Her eyes were wide and tears poured down her face. She clutched her bandaged arm, staring at him, those dark eyes full of agony. "Make it go away." Her eyes seemed to beg, "Make it all just go away."
"...Michiko..." She looked so damn distraught. It broke his heart to see her crying. A sad look crossed his face. "Look, I don't know exactly what's hurting you right now. I wish I could've done more to prevent all of this. I feel like I let you down. I'm sorry that I let him hurt you. I'm sorry I broke my promise. But you know, there's one thing I'm not sorry for."
"?" She looked at him, the anguish in her eyes fading as tears continued to drip from her chin.
"I...I..." Sweat trickled down his face as he turned beat red. Come on and say it already, Sano! "I love you."
Her eyes went wide, her lower lip trembled, forming the word "no." How can he? How? I'm not worth it. He got hurt because of me. Doesn't he understand that? Why doesn't he understand? Her mind was in turmoil. She sighed in frustration, averting her eyes from his troubled face.
"Come on, don't do this." He pleaded, "Don't you look away. Say something. You can even say you hate me like you used to. I can't stand you sitting here, not talking." He touched her hair, but she jerked away. He felt hurt for a moment. He'd thought saying he loved her might have helped. "Fine then." His voice wavered only slightly, "Turn away. Forget me. Forget it all. Let it go. It won't stop my love for you."
Her shoulders slumped, whether from defeat or exhaustion he knew not. He looked at his feet, tears gathering in his eyes. She glanced over at him as he continued speaking. "I'm not going to stop, you know. I'll keep coming back. Forever, just like I said." His voice held a hint of misery.
"I hate you." Her voice was such a soft whisper he wasn't really sure at first if she even spoke, but there; she repeated herself. "I hate you. It isn't right. It isn't. Everything is wrong. You're not supposed to love me any more." Her head fell into her hand, muffling her voice, "Why can't you stop? That's how it should be..." More tears, "...I hate you..."
Silence. Both sat there. A dull ache was rising up in Michiko's heart; something she hadn't felt in a long time. She clutched at her dead arm, trying to fight the emotions she didn't want to feel, to return to the surreal state she had once existed in. Sanosuke couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He remained there, blinded by tears, wishing he had some way to make it all just disappear. She didn't love him. She didn't want anything to do with him. Kenshin was wrong.
Kenshin was wrong! Sano was very angry then. She hated him! The world was crashing down around him. Everything ceased to be when she turned away. Why does it have to be like this? How did it happen this way? When did I lose control? He buried his face in his hands. Why is it like this? Tears slid through his fingers. "I'm sorry; dammit, I'm sorry..." He mumbled over and over again.
Daylight turned to dusk. Neither of them had moved. Kaoru went out of her way to pass by every now and then, wondering how long they'd sit ignoring each other when they were so obviously in love. Yoshi came and went a few times, a worried look on his face.
Kenshin offered them both dinner, trying to ignore Sano's angry face and Michiko's vacant one. They both ignored him, continuing to sit in stony silence. A frown crossed the Battôsai's face. Something needed to be done. Something needed to change.
The same thought crossed Sanosuke's mind. He couldn't stand it any more. He didn't care if she hated him. He loved her; that's all there was to it. He moved a little closer to her, drawing her tiny body into his arms. He figured she would pull away, but resolved to not let her go. One hand ran across her hair, the other held her close to him.
She didn't fight it; she always felt safe in his lap, his strong arms around her. It felt good to be touched by him again; to be held tight. He loved her. He loved her so much; so unconditionally. Tears filled her eyes. He was careful of her arm -not that it mattered; the nerves were destroyed; she couldn't feel anything. Her head rested over his heart. "You're not going to go away, are you?"
"No. No...I promise. Never." He held her to him, stroking her hair. "As long as you want me, I'll stay."
A slight, shy smile; that familiar blush crept across her face. "Stay. I don't hate you. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
"I know. I don't care. And I'm sorry too."
"You already said that." Her smile widened, "And I heard it the very first time. I wish I could have told you sooner, but sometimes," Her voice lowered, "When you're in the darkness too long, you forget how to shine."
"Keep smiling." He touched her tear-stained face, "That's a good way to do it."
Her eyes closed for a moment as she listened to his heart beating, then she looked back up at him. "Tell me how much you love me." She whispered.
He smiled softly, kissed her forehead. "With all my heart."
His arms around her; how safe and warm and oh-so-happy she felt. If she could stay that way forever...But something still nagged her. There was something that still wasn't right. She still had some lingering fear. She was still afraid of something...But what?
