AN: Yet another poem... I need to get back onto LMHE... but while I was writing this, I got an idea for a short Tatsu/Ryu fic... Don't know if I will write it though, what do you think?? A~nyway, short - er long - Ryu poem here, sorta fluffy at the end ^-^; It's confusing because I decided to leave out most punctuation, so it never stops, sorta like Ryu-chan ^-^ Was supposed to be a companion to Tatsu's "Journal Entry #146" but I don't think it worked like that... oh well! Enjoy! Please review!
Disclaimer: Even though I stole the characters, Gravi doesn't belong to me...


Understanding

No one understands me.
Why?
Because I won't let them
I wear this mask
And change my personality
So they can't get close to me
It's lonely sometimes
But I would rather live like this
In a lie
Where I at least pretend to be happy
Than live my life where others can hurt me
Call me a coward
I call myself one
I just don't see how some people can stand it
How they can go through life
When it's filled with nothing but pain
Like Shuichi
He reminds me so much of myself
And yet he is different
Because he has the courage
To live his life
Fully
No matter what
Yuki or anyone else does to him
I admire him for that ability
Even as I envy him
To be able to put that much faith in someone
And dismiss the horrible things they do to you...
Last time I tried that
I got my heart
Broken into a thousand pieces
Sometimes I see Yuki-san
And I see what I could have become
And in some ways, have become
I may not be cold to everyone
But I still distance myself from them
But they don't know that
Can't know that
Because I won't let them
There are a few who know of my mask
K my old manager
Noriko my band mate
And Touma
I think he's the one
Who understands me the most
Because he has his own masks
That he shows to the world
Shuichi, I think, is beginning to catch on
The look in his eyes sometimes
Makes me think he can see
Right through my façade
And then there's that other boy
Yuki-san's little brother...
Tatsuha I think is his name
I've met him a few times
He seems like a bright kid
If not a little obsessed
I saw his room
When I was at Touma and Mika's wedding
It was full of Nittle Grasper posters and CDs
Mostly pictures of me
From whatever concerts
He had been able to go to
But that was a few years ago
Hopefully he has matured by now
It's a waste
What his family wants him to do with his life
He seems almost as quick as Touma
At analysing a situation...
I saw him at a concert once
Right before Nittle Grasper broke up
And I went to America...
He had gotten backstage passes
But he didn't seem happy when he saw me
He looked sad
And all he did was shake my hand
Wish me good luck and said goodbye
And turned and walked away
I have to wonder
If he had known
Or if he had just sensed it...
Look Kumagoro
I got off onto Tatsuha yet again
And I call him obsessed