'Secret'
By: Adri Skywalker
Genre: Romance/Angst (heavy)/Songfic/Alternate Ending
Couplings: Anakin/Padmé
Song: 'Secret' by Heart
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Sure, but please be sure to ask me first. Thanks ^_^
Summary: What would happen if things had been different at the end of the fireplace scene? What if Padmé gave into her love for Anakin? Set to the song 'Secret' by Heart.
. . .
Padmé walked away from Anakin in a silent grace. Things had not ended well and it tore her up inside that she was doing this to him. When she finally got to the door, she glanced back at Anakin. His silent tears could be seen against the dancing flames, and Padmé wanted nothing more than to console him. But it would destroy them and that was probably the worst thing she'd felt in her entire life. Tears began to fall as she ran out the front door.
We lead two different lives,
Just like two lines that never cross…
And here we are together,
Standing closer than we are…
But we're still standing here, untouched.
Too scared to make a move…
It was midnight when Padmé finally snuck back into the lodge. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. I don't want to cry anymore…she pleaded. But she couldn't- especially when she saw Anakin's beautiful sleeping form on the couch. Quickly tearing her eyes away, she ran to her room for fear of what might happen if she stayed. Love shouldn't hurt this much. Slipping out of her skintight leather, she slipped into a white silk nightgown. Slipping into bed with a cup of hot chocolate, she found her mind wouldn't turn off.
Every time she tried to sleep, she thought of Anakin. It became so bad she was scared she would dream of him if she fell asleep. Battling with her grief, she began to weep. Would it really be so bad...? It's so unfair…
We want to so much to touch,
And we can't wait forever…
We know it's dangerous,
For us to be together…
It was incredibly dangerous for them to be together…heavens only knew what would happen if the media found out…she'd be humiliated…and Anakin would be exiled from the Jedi Order. Picking up her cocoa, she drank. If she didn't do something, she would begin crying again. She also grabbed a teddy bear Anakin made her to cheer her up. Looking at the teddy bear, she began to admit her feelings for her protector. Cradling her bear, she climbed down the stairs, making up her mind to tell Anakin how she felt. She loved him and he didn't deserve to suffer.
How do we ever keep this secret?
How do we keep it in the dark?
And if we dare to taste our weakness,
How could we tear ourselves apart?
Why do we keep this love together?
Didn't we know right from the start?
That we would have to keep this secret…
…or forever stay apart…
When she reached the couch, she saw no sign of Anakin. It tore her heart in two. She finally realized she'd lost her last best chance. Miserably, she climbed the stairs to her room. Opening the covers she buried her head in a pillow and wept.
Anakin almost cried at the sight of his angel weeping. He wanted so badly to console her. Not able to withstand it anymore, he opened the window to Padmé's bedroom. Gasping, Padmé quickly sat up. "Ani…"
Her lips were silenced by his and he began to slide his hands up her hips. Breaking away, she whispered, "Aren't you cold? You've been in the rain…"
Anakin smiled. "Just a little chilly."
"Well why don't you get out of them?" blushing because of what she'd just said.
"Yeah…I am a little cold. I can't get sick otherwise I can't protect you." He removed the leather and gauze shirts revealing his bare chest. Padmé blushed. She couldn't deny her attraction any longer. "Ani…I…"
"Yes?" Anakin looked over at her concerned.
"I lied to you…oh Ani…I lied…" She sobbed.
"Shhh don't cry…" Anakin embraced her. She buried her head in his chest releasing her fear. "Earlier…when you asked me if I was suffering as much as you…I lied."
"What are you saying?"
"I love you…"
Anakin went numb. His angel felt the same for him. His heart almost lept out of his chest from happiness. "I'm so sorry Ani…"
"Don't…" He tilted her head to kiss her. "I love you too…"
Falling into each other's arms, Anakin brushed his lips against Padmé's neck drawing a dreamy sigh from her. "I never want to leave your arms again."
"You don't have to." Letting their clothes fall, they made their vows of bliss…and eternity.
I watch you coming to me,
Walking in the pouring rain…
I can't help looking at you,
Wishing I could stay away…
So many times I've tried…
…in vain.
To close my eyes and pray it goes away…
. . .
I can't stop myself from feeling…
To let you go, would be too much
For me to take…
The next morning, the couple lay together, holding on for dear life as if the sun could pull them apart at any moment.
Anakin was first to stir, reflecting on their beautiful night. Never had he felt so happy in all his life, or so lucky. He and his angel had exchanged something so precious last night, that a transparent chain now bound their souls. Feeling Padmé stir beside him, he kissed her forehead softly. "Good morning love…"
Padmé grinned. "Good morning…" Kissing him softly, she sat up as did Anakin. She suddenly became much more serious though.
How do we ever keep this secret?
How do we keep it in the dark?
And if we dare to taste our weakness,
How could we tear ourselves apart?
Why do we keep this love together?
Didn't we know right from the start?
That we would have to keep this secret…
…or forever stay apart…
"What's the matter?" Anakin asked with concern.
"What if we can't make it? What if we can't hide? I couldn't bear it…if I lost you…"
Pulling her close, Anakin told her firmly, "You won't ever lose me. I promise you my angel. I will never leave your side." He looked into her amber eyes.
"I need you Ani…I..I love you."
"I love you."
Ohhhh I can't help thinking…
When I look into your eyes…
How much I need you…
It's so hard to hide…
"I don't know how we're ever going to hide this…but I won't ever give up." Padmé told Anakin as she kissed him. Anakin's heart soared. "We'll keep this secret even if it kills us…we'll take it to the grave if we must. I can't tear myself away now."
"I feel the same way…you're an addiction." He whispered in her ear lightly and kissed her hair.
Content with their promise, they once again fell into peaceful sleep.
How do we ever keep this secret?
How do we keep it in the dark?
And if we dare to taste our weakness,
How could we tear ourselves apart?
Why do we keep this love together?
Didn't we know right from the start?
That we would have to keep this secret…
And there they stayed until the moon smiled upon them bringing night to bind them together. Forever.
Or forever stay apart…
. . .
Thanks for reading! Please be sure to tell me what you thought in a review ^_^ Most appreciated. Or email me @ adri@midnight-myst.net I always love talking to people ^_^. - Adri
