Ooops! I forgot to mention that the poem Yuki started to write is actually
lyrics to "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park. Also, the song Shuichi sings
in this chapter is "Numb" also by Linkin Park. Hmmm.notice a trend? Thanks
for all the comments. I'm prolonging the inevitable as long as I can.
Eh.want to post something but I don't like the second part of this chapter
yet. So, it's just Yuki's perspective. Enjoy!
I showed up to the concert a few minutes late. It was all that damn city traffic! No one knew how to drive in this town. So by the time I showed up to the main gate I was more then a little pissed off. I walked through the front door when this short fat man stopped me.
"I'm sorry sir, but you can't go in. This venue is sold out." I pretended I didn't hear the little creton. I continued to walk when he grabbed my arm.
"Sir, you can't go in."
I ripped my arm from him and glared at him with my piercing gold eyes. He stepped back. Good, he's scared, I thought. That'll make things go much easier.
"Listen here you little worm." I snarled. "I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm going into this building wether you like it or not. So just BACK OFF!"
Perhaps I said that a bit too forcefully because before I could stop him he was calling for back-up. "We have a situation here. Guard 019 requesting back-up."
Shit, this is just what I didn't need. I went towards him and tried to tell him that back-up wasn't necessary. He must have thought I was trying to attack him because he pulled out his bottle of mace. "Don't, don't come any closer." He stammered.
"Look, I don't want to start any trouble. Just call Seguchi Tohma and tell him-"
"Oh, I'm sure you know The Seguchi Tohma. Right. As far as you know, I'M Seguchi Tohma. So just shut up until the others arrive."
Stupid prick. "Listen, you-"
"Who, exactly, is Seguchi Tohma?" a voice said behind me.
"Seguchi Tohma!" The little maggot muttered. "Uh, this man says that he knows you."
"Of course he knows me. This is Yuki Eiri. My brother-in-law." The security guard was stunned.
"Yuki-Eiri? Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Go-go right ahead in." I stared at him in disgust. I couldn't believe that I had just wasted ten minutes of my life that I was never going to get back.
"Yuki, what are you doing here?" Tohma asked as we walked backstage.
"I'm here to see Shuichi. Sakuma-san said he'd be here." Tohma stopped, surprised.
"You're here to see Shindo-san?"
"Yes." I said plainly. "Now where is he?"
"Umm, he's on stage right now."
"WHAT?!?" I said shocked.
"Yes, he's opening for Nittle Grasper." Tohma continued walking. I ran past him. "Eiri! Where are you going?" He called to me.
"I have to find the stage!" I yelled back frantically searching the signs for directions to the stage. I took a right at an arrow that seemed to be pointing in the direction of the screams. A left, another right, and then there it was. The stage. I found it just as Bad Luck entered. There Shuichi was in that silly yellow trenchcoat he always wore. I smiled. I hadn't missed his performance.
"Hello Everybody!" Shuichi exclaimed. There was a roar from the crowd. I knew that Bad Luck was popular but I was in awe watching thousands of fans cheer them on. You've done it, I thought taking pride in his accomplishment. You're a star.
"We're going to play a new song today. It will be on Bad Luck's new album released next month." The crowd screamed even louder. I looked at Shuichi and tried to wave to him. But at the angle I was at he couldn't see me. It's ok, I thought. I'll surprise him after his set.
"The song is called Numb. I hope everyone likes it." The crowd roared. The lights on the stage went down and all that was heard was the beginning chords of the song. It was different from the other Bad Luck songs. It sounded sad. Shuichi approached the mic and started singing.
Numb
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
The song ended. The crowd went crazy. Bad Luck bowed and left the stage. And I? Well, I just stood there.
That song........that song was about....me?
I didn't notice that Tohma was standing right behind me.
"I'm sorry, Eiri-san." He said.
"You knew?" I said slowly. "You knew what the song was about and still, you didn't stop me from coming to the stage?"
"I didn't think you were coming tonight. I didn't know you even knew about the concert. I wouldn't have ok'd the song if I knew-"
I put my hand up to stop him from talking. "No, I'm glad he sang the song. Tell me, where is the dressing room?"
"No." Tohma said. He sounded frightened. It must have been the mono tone sound in my voice. "I don't think that's a good idea."
I just walked away again. If I found the stage, I could find the dressing room. "Tohma, get ready for your show." I commanded. Tohma always listened to my commands.
I walked. I didn't know what else to do. That song, that song was about me. And, Shuichi.how he felt. Did I expect that much from him? Was I that demanding? I.I was shocked. And hurt. I needed an explanation. What did he mean by that song?
When I found the dressing room I discovered that there was a crowd of squealing teenage girls. I didn't want to create a scene when Shuichi came out. Seeing Shuichi was one thing those fan girls could handle.but seeing Shuichi and his famous boyfriend Yuki Eiri, I'm sure we'd create a riot situation. I hid inside a closet. I watched as the dressing room door opened and Shuichi was attacked from all sides by people wanting autographs. He was smiling. He looked so happy. I was sure that if I were to approach him, that smile would be gone. I didn't want that. I didn't want to ruin his smile. So, I backed further into the closet to keep him from seeing me peek out of the crack. It was then that I realized I wasn't alone in the closet.
"He looks happy, doesn't he?" the man behind me said into my ear.
"Yes, he does." I agreed.
"So why are you hiding from him?"
"I don't want to spoil his good mood." I said sadly.
We stood there in the closet for a few minutes. I was trying to decide what I should do. I had come to the concert with a purpose. I was going to confront Shuichi and tell him everything, but. I looked at his face once again. That smile, it illuminated everything around him. I couldn't go through with it. It was time that I left.
"Sakuma-san." I said to the man standing behind me. "Would you mind giving him this." I passed the letter that I had been keeping in pocket to Ryuichi. He took it.
"Ok Yuki."
I stood there watching Shuichi. I felt like crying. It was horrible. He was lost to me. I had to let him go. Sakuma-san must have noticed my change in mood because he hugged me. Ever been hugged by a 32 year-old in a pink bunny suit? It's an odd yet comforting feeling.
"I'm so very sorry Yuki." He said, sounding sincere. It was so unlike him. I couldn't bear for Sakuma Ryuichi to be so somber. Not for me. No one should feel sorry for me. So, I did the one thing I could think of that would snap him out of it. I told a joke.
"Is that a broom handle, or are you just happy to see me?"
He let go suddenly. "No, I, uh" he stuttered. I chuckled.
"Sakuma-san. It was a joke." He was silent for a moment then laughed.
"Yuki is so funny, na no da. No wonder Shu-chan loves him, Kumagoro." He glomped me, giving me no time to think about his words.
"Ok, ok. I'm going now." I said, sounding like my old self. "Make sure Shuichi gets that letter."
"I will na no da. Kuma and I will deliver it personally."
I walked out of the closet nervously avoiding the massive hoarde of teenagers. I felt a bit better, but I couldn't ignore the empty feeling in my heart. He was singing about me. About how I made him feel. I guess I shouldn't be surprised thought. I really screwed up this time. I took my time getting home. No one would be waiting for me to get back. I let him go.
I showed up to the concert a few minutes late. It was all that damn city traffic! No one knew how to drive in this town. So by the time I showed up to the main gate I was more then a little pissed off. I walked through the front door when this short fat man stopped me.
"I'm sorry sir, but you can't go in. This venue is sold out." I pretended I didn't hear the little creton. I continued to walk when he grabbed my arm.
"Sir, you can't go in."
I ripped my arm from him and glared at him with my piercing gold eyes. He stepped back. Good, he's scared, I thought. That'll make things go much easier.
"Listen here you little worm." I snarled. "I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm going into this building wether you like it or not. So just BACK OFF!"
Perhaps I said that a bit too forcefully because before I could stop him he was calling for back-up. "We have a situation here. Guard 019 requesting back-up."
Shit, this is just what I didn't need. I went towards him and tried to tell him that back-up wasn't necessary. He must have thought I was trying to attack him because he pulled out his bottle of mace. "Don't, don't come any closer." He stammered.
"Look, I don't want to start any trouble. Just call Seguchi Tohma and tell him-"
"Oh, I'm sure you know The Seguchi Tohma. Right. As far as you know, I'M Seguchi Tohma. So just shut up until the others arrive."
Stupid prick. "Listen, you-"
"Who, exactly, is Seguchi Tohma?" a voice said behind me.
"Seguchi Tohma!" The little maggot muttered. "Uh, this man says that he knows you."
"Of course he knows me. This is Yuki Eiri. My brother-in-law." The security guard was stunned.
"Yuki-Eiri? Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Go-go right ahead in." I stared at him in disgust. I couldn't believe that I had just wasted ten minutes of my life that I was never going to get back.
"Yuki, what are you doing here?" Tohma asked as we walked backstage.
"I'm here to see Shuichi. Sakuma-san said he'd be here." Tohma stopped, surprised.
"You're here to see Shindo-san?"
"Yes." I said plainly. "Now where is he?"
"Umm, he's on stage right now."
"WHAT?!?" I said shocked.
"Yes, he's opening for Nittle Grasper." Tohma continued walking. I ran past him. "Eiri! Where are you going?" He called to me.
"I have to find the stage!" I yelled back frantically searching the signs for directions to the stage. I took a right at an arrow that seemed to be pointing in the direction of the screams. A left, another right, and then there it was. The stage. I found it just as Bad Luck entered. There Shuichi was in that silly yellow trenchcoat he always wore. I smiled. I hadn't missed his performance.
"Hello Everybody!" Shuichi exclaimed. There was a roar from the crowd. I knew that Bad Luck was popular but I was in awe watching thousands of fans cheer them on. You've done it, I thought taking pride in his accomplishment. You're a star.
"We're going to play a new song today. It will be on Bad Luck's new album released next month." The crowd screamed even louder. I looked at Shuichi and tried to wave to him. But at the angle I was at he couldn't see me. It's ok, I thought. I'll surprise him after his set.
"The song is called Numb. I hope everyone likes it." The crowd roared. The lights on the stage went down and all that was heard was the beginning chords of the song. It was different from the other Bad Luck songs. It sounded sad. Shuichi approached the mic and started singing.
Numb
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
The song ended. The crowd went crazy. Bad Luck bowed and left the stage. And I? Well, I just stood there.
That song........that song was about....me?
I didn't notice that Tohma was standing right behind me.
"I'm sorry, Eiri-san." He said.
"You knew?" I said slowly. "You knew what the song was about and still, you didn't stop me from coming to the stage?"
"I didn't think you were coming tonight. I didn't know you even knew about the concert. I wouldn't have ok'd the song if I knew-"
I put my hand up to stop him from talking. "No, I'm glad he sang the song. Tell me, where is the dressing room?"
"No." Tohma said. He sounded frightened. It must have been the mono tone sound in my voice. "I don't think that's a good idea."
I just walked away again. If I found the stage, I could find the dressing room. "Tohma, get ready for your show." I commanded. Tohma always listened to my commands.
I walked. I didn't know what else to do. That song, that song was about me. And, Shuichi.how he felt. Did I expect that much from him? Was I that demanding? I.I was shocked. And hurt. I needed an explanation. What did he mean by that song?
When I found the dressing room I discovered that there was a crowd of squealing teenage girls. I didn't want to create a scene when Shuichi came out. Seeing Shuichi was one thing those fan girls could handle.but seeing Shuichi and his famous boyfriend Yuki Eiri, I'm sure we'd create a riot situation. I hid inside a closet. I watched as the dressing room door opened and Shuichi was attacked from all sides by people wanting autographs. He was smiling. He looked so happy. I was sure that if I were to approach him, that smile would be gone. I didn't want that. I didn't want to ruin his smile. So, I backed further into the closet to keep him from seeing me peek out of the crack. It was then that I realized I wasn't alone in the closet.
"He looks happy, doesn't he?" the man behind me said into my ear.
"Yes, he does." I agreed.
"So why are you hiding from him?"
"I don't want to spoil his good mood." I said sadly.
We stood there in the closet for a few minutes. I was trying to decide what I should do. I had come to the concert with a purpose. I was going to confront Shuichi and tell him everything, but. I looked at his face once again. That smile, it illuminated everything around him. I couldn't go through with it. It was time that I left.
"Sakuma-san." I said to the man standing behind me. "Would you mind giving him this." I passed the letter that I had been keeping in pocket to Ryuichi. He took it.
"Ok Yuki."
I stood there watching Shuichi. I felt like crying. It was horrible. He was lost to me. I had to let him go. Sakuma-san must have noticed my change in mood because he hugged me. Ever been hugged by a 32 year-old in a pink bunny suit? It's an odd yet comforting feeling.
"I'm so very sorry Yuki." He said, sounding sincere. It was so unlike him. I couldn't bear for Sakuma Ryuichi to be so somber. Not for me. No one should feel sorry for me. So, I did the one thing I could think of that would snap him out of it. I told a joke.
"Is that a broom handle, or are you just happy to see me?"
He let go suddenly. "No, I, uh" he stuttered. I chuckled.
"Sakuma-san. It was a joke." He was silent for a moment then laughed.
"Yuki is so funny, na no da. No wonder Shu-chan loves him, Kumagoro." He glomped me, giving me no time to think about his words.
"Ok, ok. I'm going now." I said, sounding like my old self. "Make sure Shuichi gets that letter."
"I will na no da. Kuma and I will deliver it personally."
I walked out of the closet nervously avoiding the massive hoarde of teenagers. I felt a bit better, but I couldn't ignore the empty feeling in my heart. He was singing about me. About how I made him feel. I guess I shouldn't be surprised thought. I really screwed up this time. I took my time getting home. No one would be waiting for me to get back. I let him go.
