Kiwi: Sorry if it offends anyone that almost everyone, if not everyone, is ooc. Also, gomen if this chapter is confusing, or goes off track, but lack of sleep, coffee, and a snowday didn't help with my order of things.


As Hotaru lay next to him that night, propped up on one side she tried to remember the day she'd fallen for him, but couldn't. Staring down at the sleeping features of her love, she racked her brain with growing frustration. She could remember perfectly though, the day she'd realized how she felt.

***Flashback***

"Haruka-papa's so mean! She left me here, and now I'm gonna be stuck with this man for a week longer!" Hotaru felt no shame at whining, because no one was there to hear her. "He's so cold!" 'And you're not, I suppose?' A little voice inside her head questioned. She told it to shut up immediately, at least she had tried to give some people a chance, so what if she gave up on mortals quite some time ago? A sound of something breaking drew her attention away from her own problems. Quietly she crept from the guest room and down the hallway. What would Yaten be doing awake at this hour? She poked her head into the living room and saw him standing there in his boxers, and broken glass on the floor by the wall. Something had angered him, and enough to throw something at that. "Ya-" She started to say, but quickly realized that that was most certainly not the best idea, and shut her mouth before he heard. "I don't get it, I hate them all, and yet this stupid girl comes around and suddenly I'm having second thoughts about going back!" Hotaru retreated to lean against the wall and listen. "I hate her. She's so god damned cold, and rude! None of them gave us a chance, just assumed we were outsiders with an evil intent! It's stupid! They're all such horrible people! The only reason I agreed was because Setsuna gave me $500, and threatened to tell Taiki and Seiya that I was going to leave without their permission. I still shouldn't have accepted." 'So that was why he allowed me to stay,' she'd known that it must have been some bribe, but still, for some reason it seemed to hurt a little, knowing it for sure. She leaned closer to the door, because now that he'd calmed down a bit it was harder to hear him. Eavesdropping was wrong, sure, but Hotaru figured she didn't have to be good completely, saving the earth and being forced to protect a princess she didn't think was worthy was enough. "I don't get why I'm having second thoughts now... It's like I don't want to be rid of all the troubles of Earth." He sighed, "No, that's not right, I still want to be rid of them, I just... It's like there's someone here I need to protect." She pitied him, just then, he missed his home terribly, and yet something held him back, and he didn't even know what it was. She'd felt that way before, but unlike him, it almost always seemed she never had a place she could fully call home. "I'm so confused, where do I belong... where can I fit in?" he muttered. They shared a couple of things, a feeling of confusion, and the nagging feeling that they didn't belong. She walked back over to the door and looked in. He was now sitting in a chair with his head in his hands, so she chanced staying in the doorway. "Why do I feel alone? I have my brothers, so why do I still feel as if I'm alone in this world?"
"Because you're not sure where you want to be." Hotaru's soft voice stated, and he looked up to see her standing in the doorway.
"How long have you been there?"
"Long enough, look, if you want me to leave, I most certainly will."

"No, no... it's alright. Come on, sit down, maybe you can provide some insight." He motioned to the couch and Hotaru walked in and sat obediently. "What do you think, do you think I fit with my brothers?"
"I... don't know, to tell you the truth. I can tell you guys care about each other a lot, yeah, but if you 'fit' with them or not is another matter, which you shouldn't ask me about."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't 'fit' with anyone, I never have."
"The Outers?" Hotaru shook her head sadly, "They're my family, but I'm never going to be one of them, I can't be."
"Why not?"
"I'm the Firefly of Death, ya' know? I'm not supposed to fit in, I'm supposed to be an independent person who could kill the world and all the people in it without flinching."
"I've always thought you could. You seem so cold."
"Thank you," Hotaru gave him a fake smile.
"You want to appear that way?"
"No, I want to be that way... hey, how'd this conversation get turned to me?"
"Dunno" 'He doesn't sound annoyed, weird,' she hid confusion a smile when she realized that he hadn't sounded annoyed or anything since she had entered the room. In fact, in his own way, he'd actually been kind to her. "Why are you being so nice?" She questioned suddenly, before she could stop herself.
"I don't know... all my thoughts must be confusing me more then I thought." He answered half jokingly. "Stop it."
"What?"
"Being nice."
"So I'm not allowed to be nice to you, koishii?" The last word was uttered so softly that Hotaru would have missed it completely if she hadn't been thinking about something on those lines. "What did you just call me?"
"Umm..." He hesitated with his answer, but in the end muttered, "koishii."
"Do-shite?" Her voice didn't sound as panicked as it would have if she was still sure how she felt about this man.
"I... I don't know, I guess it just kind of came over me." She didn't completely know how to react, so she just sat there, stunned. He stood and walked over to her, "I don't think I'm confused about one thing, at least."
"What's that?" She looked up at him.
"I know what's keeping me here." He bent his head down and met her lips.

***End Flashback***

She was brought back to reality by a lazy arm being put around her and being drawn against the warm solid body of her lover. "What were you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing. G'night" she said, snuggling against him.
"Night."