disclamers: some characters are mine... but you know who is not. pls don't sue me. (",)

This is supposed to be a song fic from Regine Velasquez's song How Could You Leave, but it got out of hand. So here…

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It's day by day for me

The only way i get by

"megumi-san" kaoru exclaimed.

"kaoru-chan, arigatou for last night" she said bowing her head

"daijoubu" kaoru smiled, "you would have done the same for me. or rather you have done differently"

she smiled as she remember kyoto. "where's kenshin?" she asked

"he's out back, doing the laundry." kaoru said sitting down beside her. "how are you today?"

"i'll get by" she sighed. "maybe it is meant to be this way"

kaoru looked at her. "i wish i have your strenght"

"you are strong kaoru-chan, stronger than anyone of us every know" she smiled. "i better head home."

"take care of yourself megumi-san" kaoru said. "if you need us, we'll just be here"

"i know", megumi answered. "arigatou"

she slowly made her way home, its just now it doesn't feel like home anymore. it was the same house, the same gate, with the same furnitures. but she know that she will never again fall asleep without thinking of him. she fell down on her futon crying his name, she can still smell him on the sheets. wrapping the blankets around her, she pretended that it is him holding her and with that in thought, she fell into a pitiful sleep.

I keep talking in my sleep

she smiled as she felt two strong arms wrapped around her, drawing her towards a warm chest. shifting so that she was facing him, she buried her face in his chest. she felt him tangle his hands in her hair, commenting on how soft and smooth it was. he whispered words of love in her ears and she settled in his warm embrace, knowing he would never ever let go.

she felt his lips brush against her temple. she lifted her face to it and she was lost in the intensity of his gaze. his brown eyes roamed her face before settling on her lips. slowly he bowed his head to hers for a kiss, but she met him halfway and their lips met.

his kiss was heaven, the way his lips teased hers lightly. fluttering above her lips like feathers. she opened her mouth to let him in and he did not hesitate when he drove his toungue inside to play with hers. she felt that she was burning as she lost herself in his kiss.

she felt his lips play with her earlobe, she was tickled by the sensation. but when his hands started to roam around her body, she can't help but cry out his name....

"sanosuke....." she moaned

As if u were still right by my side baby

she opened her eyes and found herself alone in her bed once again. she slowly stood up and walk towards the door. opening the door she let the cool evening breeze enveloped her body, cooling her restlessness and the heat brought by that dream.

she felt tears streamed down her cheeks as she remembered the dream. eversince the night she left, she had been dreaming about their last night together. every kiss, every touch was imprinted in her mind. forcing her to remember.

"kami-sama" she whispered to the cold night. "i miss him so, please let him be alright"

she remained motionless at the door way for a long time. her hair and her yukata being blown by the wind. she keep on expecting that he will suddenly be at her gate, running towards her to envelop her in his arms, to keep her warm.

but he will never come. sadly, she will close the door and go back to her futon. again, she will cry herself to sleep as the dream will begin all over again.

How could u leave need u with me

"megumi-san" kaoru called from the gate. "are you home?"

she looked up from what she was reading and stood up to greet her visitor. "hi kaoru-chan" she smiled "what brings you here?"

"i heard you're not feeling well" kaoru said as she approached her. "i brought you some miso soup. don't worry, kenshin made it. i know for a fact that you would get more sick if i brought some of my cooking".

"arigato" she smiled as she reached out for the bowl. but before she can reach for it, she felt nauseous and hurried to the kitchen.

"megumi-san? are you alright" kaoru asked, noticing that she is all pale and sweaty

"i'm ok" she said weakly, making her way to the patio slowly

"here, let me help you" kaoru said

"thanks" she whispered, looking at the raven-haired girl. kaoru has matured in more ways than one. she blossomed with something that she can't seem to point her finger to.

"are you really ok, you look sick" kaoru wanted to know

"can i asked you to keep a secret for me kaoru-chan?" she asked

"sure, i promise. i won't even tell kenshin, if you want" kaoru said settling beside her

"thanks" she whispered bowing her head. thinking of ways on how to tell the younger girl of her present situation.

all of the precious memories

"i'm having a baby..." she whispered to the wind

"what?" kaoru said, surprised written all over her face

"his baby" she whispered staring at a particular bunny shaped cloud travelling across the sky

"sanosuke's baby?" kaoru asked softly

"yes" she said softly

"how?" kaoru asked a frown creasing her beautiful face. "i didn't mean it that way"

"i understand" she smiled.

"well? how did it happen?" kaoru said. "if you don't mind me asking"

"i don't, really" she said staring at her hands

"i'm ready when you are" kaoru said, taking her hands

she sighed and then begin her tale. she told kaoru about their first night by the river, how he carried her home, how he walked her home everyday, how he told her he was leaving, and what happened their last night together.

they remained silent for a while when she finished her tale. nothing can be heard except for the wind chime being tossed by the gentle breeze.

"i'm sorry..." kaoru said softly

"don't be" she said, squeezing the younger girl's hand. "i'm happy that i have been given the chance to love, even for a short time. and now i am carrying his child. if he doesn't come back, i have a part of him with me"

"megumi-san..."

"my mom told me a long time ago that to love is to let go. to love unconditionally is to put the needs of the person you love above all else, above yourself even."

kaoru bowed her head, closing her ocean blue eyes. "what do you plan to do? you can stay at the dojo if you want. that way we are there if ever you will need us." kaoru said looking at her.

"arigato, kaoru-chan" she said, lifting her face to the sky

"are you sure, you'll be okay for now?" kaoru asked softly

"hai" she smiled, feeling the cool morning breeze on her face

"i sort of promised kenshin il go with him to the market today, but if you want i can stay here with you" kaoru said

"no, il be fine... go with kenshin" she said. "i know you want to..." she teased

kaoru blushed. "it's not that..."

"il be fine" she repeated. "go"

"thanks megumi-san" kaoru said standing up. "just visit the dojo if you need anything"

"yes" she answered. "take care"

"i will, you too..." kaoru said

"yes..." she said softly closing her eyes.

she could feel kaoru's eyes on her, testing if she will be okay. satisfied, kaoru bid her goodbye and went out the house, closing the gate behind her. when she is sure that kaoru has gone, she let go of the tears that were caught in her eyelids.

"more than anything... more than anytime... i need you here with me" she whispered. "where are you?"

she felt the wind picked up around her. tosing the leaves in a frenzied merry go around.

she just sat there with eyes closed and tears falling down her cheeks. one hand subconsciously going to her abdomen.

"sanosuke...."

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TBC