"Are you going to watch me bathe him?"
Angel shrugged. "I figured you could wash and talk at the same time."
Spike lay between them, asleep and naked. There was nothing erotic about his nude body, and Buffy did not feel that familiar stirring in her stomach. Buffy washed the blood, dirt, and vampire dust off of him carefully, making sure not to disturb him. Not that he would have noticed anyway.
"I used to do this all the time," Buffy said softly.
"You used to give Spike sponge baths?"
"Well, I used to clean him up after battle. It was kind of a ritual," Buffy explained. "I would clean him, he would clean me.."
Angel lifted an eyebrow, "Sounds like the two of you were close."
"We were."
"I don't get it Buffy. It's Spike for Christ's sake."
"After he went to L.A. he came back to Sunnydale, and got caught by the Initiative. They put a chip in his head, to make him harmless. He couldn't hurt or kill any living thing..we didn't know how it worked, but we did know that he was harmless."
"Ok, so that means you don't kill him. It doesn't mean you clean his wounds, and do God knows what else," Angel pointed out.
"Well, we got along surprisingly well, after we stopped trying to kill each other. He kissed me, but we didn't really start being friendly until he found me.."
*** ".Crying?"
"What?"
"I said, are you crying?" Spike asked, sitting down beside her.
"No, I'm not."
"You may not be sobbing Slayer, but I can tell you're getting all watery. Here," he thrust a wadded up Kleenex into her hand.
"Thanks. And I'm not all watery."
"Uh huh. Whatever, Slayer. So come on, tell Uncle Spikey what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong! And what do you care?"
"Well, I gotta know my enemy's weaknesses don't I?"
"Well, when you put it that way," Buffy rolled her eyes. "I just want to be left alone right now."
"That's your problem Slayer. Always out here, crying by yourself."
"What do you know of my problems, Spike?"
Spike shrugged, "I aim to cause most of them. Who would know more about them than me?"
A small smiled touched Buffy's lips, against her will. "It's about Riley."
"Take it from me, Slayer, that Sod is nothing to get worked up over. What did he do to you?" Buffy thought she detected concern in his voice, but quickly dismissed it. Why would he be concerned?
"He didn't do anything. Angel did."
"Wait, is this about the soddin' soldier or the prancin' poof?"
Buffy sighed, "I'm worried, Spike ok?"
"About what, pet?"
Pet? "I'm worried that I'm with Riley because that's what Angel wants."
"The love of your bloody life wants you to be with Captain America? I doubt it."
"No, not with Riley specifically. He wants me to be with someone normal, have a normal life. And I just don't want to.."
"What? Don't want to what?" Spike prompted.
"Disappoint him," the slayer whispered, and suddenly she was no longer the Slayer. She was Buffy Anne Summers, a 19 year old college student, who was lonely and confused. She was not the strong, competent woman who averted three Apocalypses within as many years, she was a girl trying to figure out love and life, trying to plan for her future, albeit, a very uncertain one.
Spike knew how to relate to the Slayer, a little sparring, physical or otherwise. He didn't know how to handle Buffy though. He had never seen her this vulnerable, but now she was looking at him like he knew some answer that would solve her problems.
"He's not your daddy, Buffy, or your watcher. You don't owe him anything."
"I knew you wouldn't understand," Buffy said coldly, turning her head away from him.
"No, I think I actually understand one thing about you. You try to hard to please everybody around you, Slayer. Ever do anything for yourself?"
"I don't know," she muttered.
Spike shrugged, "There ya go. Stop worrying so much about what Angel," he said it like it was a dirty word, "wants, and focus on what you do."
"And what is that, Spike?"
"I don't know, but I want a fag."
"A what?"
"Smokes, Slayer. Haven't had one since I got this bloody chip."
"Giles doesn't want you smoking in his house."
Spike smirked, "What, he doesn't trust me?"
"You know, if you got your own place, you could smoke whenever you want."
"Trying to get rid of me, Slayer?"
"Just saying is all. Why are you still around stinking up the place?"
"Guess I like the company."
*** "That marked a turning point in our relationship. Suddenly he didn't seem quite so annoying."
Buffy had finished washing his chest, and moved down to his legs.
"What happened then?" Angel did not look very happy. Buffy supposed she could have vagued up the conversation, but it didn't really occur to her. Why not tell Angel the truth? She was going to have to tell him much more unpleasant things before this night was over
"Not much. He moved out of Giles' place a week later, and we didn't hear from him until Faith came to town. For a while we thought the Initiative caught.."
*** ".him?"
"Buffy, Spike is a very capable vampire, I'm sure he managed to avoid the Initiative."
"But he can't defend himself, and Riley, well, really has it out for him. I think this is more of a personal thing than a duty thing."
"Why do you think that, Buffy?" Willow asked, looking up from her book.
Buffy shrugged, "He thinks I spend too much time with him."
"So Riley stakes him in a fit of unjustified, jealous rage. What's the problem?"
"The problem is that, well, he's harmless!"
"We have other problems right now, Buffy."
"Like what?"
Giles sighed, "Like trying to figure out what the Initiative is up to. Why are they chipping vampires instead of just killing them? Why are they keeping demons in cages? This is the military, they don't just do things because they're curious."
"Yeah," Willow added, "They aren't just a research facility. Unless the government thinks they can capitalize somehow on the "sub-terrestrials.""
"Well, see, that's why we should worry about Spike. They could be trying to turn him into some sort of super-soldier or something."
"A super soldier that can't attack people?"
Buffy sighed, "I'm gonna go patrol."
"Be careful," Giles called after her.
"Always am."
"Worried about me Pet?" Spike asked from the shadows as she stepped outside the door.
"Fuck Spike! You scared about a year off of my life."
He smirked, "Well, you know, gotta do my killing somehow."
"Yeah, yeah yeah. Wanna patrol with me?"
Spike shrugged and flicked his cigarette away, "Sure. Haven't had my spot of violence for the day."
"So?" Spike asked, several minutes and two vampires later.
"So what?"
"Were you worried about me?"
"Pfft, why would I worry about you, Chippy?"
"I don't know, Blondie, why would you? I heard what you said to your watcher."
"Well, they can't kill you."
"Why not?"
"It's my job."
"That it is, Slayer, that it is. You still seeing Captain America?"
Buffy shrugged, "Yeah. A girl's got needs, ya know. And oh my God, I just sounded like Faith."
"Faith? She the other slayer?"
"Well, was. She's in the hospital right now."
"What happened to her?"
"I, uh, kinda stabbed her in the gut."
Spike stopped, "You tried to kill the other Slayer? We're not so different, you and me."
Buffy rolled her eyes, "It wasn't like that. It's a long story Spike, and I know how you have an attention span of a peanut."
"If you weren't so bloody boring, I probably wouldn't get so distracted."
"So it's my fault you have attention deficit disorder?"
"You're the fault of all my problems." Spike sounded dejected, resigned, but not particularly bitter.
"What's that supposed to mean, Captain Peroxide?"
But Spike was already gone, bleeding back into the shadows. Buffy finished her patrol alone, and when Riley called her that night to see if she wanted to "go out", she begged off with a headache. She just wasn't in the mood to see him. It didn't occur to her until much, much later that she never wanted to see him after she spent time with Spike.
*** Buffy finished his legs, "Help me flip him over."
"So, what? You were becoming friends?"
"Yeah, we were. And it was strange, because I knew he was the evil undead, and a pain in the ass, but sometimes he could make me forget that."
"He could make you forget he was a vampire?"
"Yeah, he kinda burned it out of my head."
TBC
Angel shrugged. "I figured you could wash and talk at the same time."
Spike lay between them, asleep and naked. There was nothing erotic about his nude body, and Buffy did not feel that familiar stirring in her stomach. Buffy washed the blood, dirt, and vampire dust off of him carefully, making sure not to disturb him. Not that he would have noticed anyway.
"I used to do this all the time," Buffy said softly.
"You used to give Spike sponge baths?"
"Well, I used to clean him up after battle. It was kind of a ritual," Buffy explained. "I would clean him, he would clean me.."
Angel lifted an eyebrow, "Sounds like the two of you were close."
"We were."
"I don't get it Buffy. It's Spike for Christ's sake."
"After he went to L.A. he came back to Sunnydale, and got caught by the Initiative. They put a chip in his head, to make him harmless. He couldn't hurt or kill any living thing..we didn't know how it worked, but we did know that he was harmless."
"Ok, so that means you don't kill him. It doesn't mean you clean his wounds, and do God knows what else," Angel pointed out.
"Well, we got along surprisingly well, after we stopped trying to kill each other. He kissed me, but we didn't really start being friendly until he found me.."
*** ".Crying?"
"What?"
"I said, are you crying?" Spike asked, sitting down beside her.
"No, I'm not."
"You may not be sobbing Slayer, but I can tell you're getting all watery. Here," he thrust a wadded up Kleenex into her hand.
"Thanks. And I'm not all watery."
"Uh huh. Whatever, Slayer. So come on, tell Uncle Spikey what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong! And what do you care?"
"Well, I gotta know my enemy's weaknesses don't I?"
"Well, when you put it that way," Buffy rolled her eyes. "I just want to be left alone right now."
"That's your problem Slayer. Always out here, crying by yourself."
"What do you know of my problems, Spike?"
Spike shrugged, "I aim to cause most of them. Who would know more about them than me?"
A small smiled touched Buffy's lips, against her will. "It's about Riley."
"Take it from me, Slayer, that Sod is nothing to get worked up over. What did he do to you?" Buffy thought she detected concern in his voice, but quickly dismissed it. Why would he be concerned?
"He didn't do anything. Angel did."
"Wait, is this about the soddin' soldier or the prancin' poof?"
Buffy sighed, "I'm worried, Spike ok?"
"About what, pet?"
Pet? "I'm worried that I'm with Riley because that's what Angel wants."
"The love of your bloody life wants you to be with Captain America? I doubt it."
"No, not with Riley specifically. He wants me to be with someone normal, have a normal life. And I just don't want to.."
"What? Don't want to what?" Spike prompted.
"Disappoint him," the slayer whispered, and suddenly she was no longer the Slayer. She was Buffy Anne Summers, a 19 year old college student, who was lonely and confused. She was not the strong, competent woman who averted three Apocalypses within as many years, she was a girl trying to figure out love and life, trying to plan for her future, albeit, a very uncertain one.
Spike knew how to relate to the Slayer, a little sparring, physical or otherwise. He didn't know how to handle Buffy though. He had never seen her this vulnerable, but now she was looking at him like he knew some answer that would solve her problems.
"He's not your daddy, Buffy, or your watcher. You don't owe him anything."
"I knew you wouldn't understand," Buffy said coldly, turning her head away from him.
"No, I think I actually understand one thing about you. You try to hard to please everybody around you, Slayer. Ever do anything for yourself?"
"I don't know," she muttered.
Spike shrugged, "There ya go. Stop worrying so much about what Angel," he said it like it was a dirty word, "wants, and focus on what you do."
"And what is that, Spike?"
"I don't know, but I want a fag."
"A what?"
"Smokes, Slayer. Haven't had one since I got this bloody chip."
"Giles doesn't want you smoking in his house."
Spike smirked, "What, he doesn't trust me?"
"You know, if you got your own place, you could smoke whenever you want."
"Trying to get rid of me, Slayer?"
"Just saying is all. Why are you still around stinking up the place?"
"Guess I like the company."
*** "That marked a turning point in our relationship. Suddenly he didn't seem quite so annoying."
Buffy had finished washing his chest, and moved down to his legs.
"What happened then?" Angel did not look very happy. Buffy supposed she could have vagued up the conversation, but it didn't really occur to her. Why not tell Angel the truth? She was going to have to tell him much more unpleasant things before this night was over
"Not much. He moved out of Giles' place a week later, and we didn't hear from him until Faith came to town. For a while we thought the Initiative caught.."
*** ".him?"
"Buffy, Spike is a very capable vampire, I'm sure he managed to avoid the Initiative."
"But he can't defend himself, and Riley, well, really has it out for him. I think this is more of a personal thing than a duty thing."
"Why do you think that, Buffy?" Willow asked, looking up from her book.
Buffy shrugged, "He thinks I spend too much time with him."
"So Riley stakes him in a fit of unjustified, jealous rage. What's the problem?"
"The problem is that, well, he's harmless!"
"We have other problems right now, Buffy."
"Like what?"
Giles sighed, "Like trying to figure out what the Initiative is up to. Why are they chipping vampires instead of just killing them? Why are they keeping demons in cages? This is the military, they don't just do things because they're curious."
"Yeah," Willow added, "They aren't just a research facility. Unless the government thinks they can capitalize somehow on the "sub-terrestrials.""
"Well, see, that's why we should worry about Spike. They could be trying to turn him into some sort of super-soldier or something."
"A super soldier that can't attack people?"
Buffy sighed, "I'm gonna go patrol."
"Be careful," Giles called after her.
"Always am."
"Worried about me Pet?" Spike asked from the shadows as she stepped outside the door.
"Fuck Spike! You scared about a year off of my life."
He smirked, "Well, you know, gotta do my killing somehow."
"Yeah, yeah yeah. Wanna patrol with me?"
Spike shrugged and flicked his cigarette away, "Sure. Haven't had my spot of violence for the day."
"So?" Spike asked, several minutes and two vampires later.
"So what?"
"Were you worried about me?"
"Pfft, why would I worry about you, Chippy?"
"I don't know, Blondie, why would you? I heard what you said to your watcher."
"Well, they can't kill you."
"Why not?"
"It's my job."
"That it is, Slayer, that it is. You still seeing Captain America?"
Buffy shrugged, "Yeah. A girl's got needs, ya know. And oh my God, I just sounded like Faith."
"Faith? She the other slayer?"
"Well, was. She's in the hospital right now."
"What happened to her?"
"I, uh, kinda stabbed her in the gut."
Spike stopped, "You tried to kill the other Slayer? We're not so different, you and me."
Buffy rolled her eyes, "It wasn't like that. It's a long story Spike, and I know how you have an attention span of a peanut."
"If you weren't so bloody boring, I probably wouldn't get so distracted."
"So it's my fault you have attention deficit disorder?"
"You're the fault of all my problems." Spike sounded dejected, resigned, but not particularly bitter.
"What's that supposed to mean, Captain Peroxide?"
But Spike was already gone, bleeding back into the shadows. Buffy finished her patrol alone, and when Riley called her that night to see if she wanted to "go out", she begged off with a headache. She just wasn't in the mood to see him. It didn't occur to her until much, much later that she never wanted to see him after she spent time with Spike.
*** Buffy finished his legs, "Help me flip him over."
"So, what? You were becoming friends?"
"Yeah, we were. And it was strange, because I knew he was the evil undead, and a pain in the ass, but sometimes he could make me forget that."
"He could make you forget he was a vampire?"
"Yeah, he kinda burned it out of my head."
TBC
