Sacrifice

Lucas Roberts stood outside the hospital room anxiously waiting for news on Sami's condition as he looked around the hallway. Life as he knew it was changing and in ways he hadn't anticipated possible. All he wanted was Sami to hurt, to feel half the pain he'd experienced at her hand over the years. He wanted her to know the heartbreak and the agony of having it all within your grasp, only to have it slip away with a blink of an eye. He wanted her to suffer, to burn for her sins, but now as she lay in that hospital bed fighting for her life, he deeply regretted the decision he'd made. How could he have been so callous, so cold to a woman who'd deeply impacted his life. Sure he'd professed to hate her, but seeing her in this position, it just felt…wrong. Perhaps that's what bothered him the most, he thought to himself as Brenda stepped into the hallway.



"Any word on Sami," Lucas questioned eagerly as Brenda shook her head.



"Nothing yet," she frowned deeply, "they're doing all they can for her in there, but really there isn't anything you can do other than contact her family."


"I called her father," Lucas nodded thinking to how upset he'd been in hearing the news that Sami had put herself in danger's way.



"Maybe you should go home," Brenda suggested looking back to the direction she'd come from, "you look like you could use the rest."


"I'll wait," Lucas shook his head, "though I think I'm going to head down to the chapel. Will you update me if there is any word on her condition?"


"Of course," Brenda nodded as Lucas headed off to the chapel to clear his thoughts.



Once inside the small chapel, Lucas was relieved to discover her was alone. He needed this time to think--to clear his head and maybe a one on one with God would be just the thing to do it. Making his way to the front row, Lucas knelt down in the pew before him. Bringing his hands up on the wood, he closed his eyes watching the events that had lead him to this moment spiral out of control in his head all over again.



"I never wanted this," Lucas confessed tearfully as he looked to the heavens hoping someone could hear him, "I just wanted Sami to suffer, to really know the pain of what it was like to lose--to get caught in her game. I just wanted her to see…" Lucas trailed off, "oh who am I kidding? I just wanted her to be miserable like I am. I knew that with Brandon," he paused thinking of what had really been bothering him all this time, "It's just that she and Brandon, well they were together, but he didn't know her like I do. He doesn't know what she's about and he couldn't call her number like I do. I know that she's given me hell, but in a way she's grown on me and as much as I hate to admit it, the idea of her and Brandon, well, it just didn't sit well with me. I couldn't bear the thought of yet another father in Will's life taking my place and with Sami…." he stopped himself shaking the thought as his emotions were mixed in the moment, "I don't know about her anymore. It was all so simple at first, but now…" he stopped himself unable to reveal the words that had tugged at him for so very long.



There was the sound of footsteps and Lucas turned his head up to see Brenda standing before him, "I thought I'd give you the update," she began poignantly.



"What is it? What's going on?" Lucas questioned worry evident in his tone as he rose from his knees.



"She's not doing well at all. She's in post-op but," Brenda admitted, "there's been more damage than Dr. Wesley anticipated and…"


"And what?" Lucas questioned concerned, "Brenda tell me what you know."


"We don't know what's going to happen," she confessed as Lucas pushed his way past her heading up to be near Sami. He couldn't let her die…couldn't let her leave this world without a fight. Will needed her and in some sick and twisted way, so did he.



Now as Lucas stood outside the hospital room, he watched Sami from afar seeing her laying still before him. Despite the complaints he was certain would follow him stepping into the room, he realized he couldn't just let Sami die as he walked into the room looking down at the bed before him.



"A long time ago, our roles were reversed," Lucas began softly as he moved the chair beside the bed next to her, "you and I were in this place, only it was a different song and dance," a sigh spilled over his lips as he leaned in closer to her, tears swelling in his eyes, "only this time I'm not laughing and wishing that you'd meet your maker. Sami, I know what I said, but I wasn't being honest. I need you and Will needs you. I never, ever meant for things to get so out of hand like this," he reached out to touch her hair, drawing back as the thought of what his actions had lead her to, filled him with guilt, "Sami, I'm so sorry. I wish…I just wanted…it doesn't matter anymore. I just want you to be okay. I can't lose you now…not when…" he stopped himself unable to finish the sentence that had haunted him since his return to Salem.



"Lucas," a voice spoke out as he saw Eugenia standing before him. He tried to straighten up as she entered the room, "what are you doing here?"


"I was just um," he cleared his throat, "trying to see what's going on. That's all," he stepped away from the beside, "what are you doing in here?"


"Honestly I'd thought twice about coming in here," she frowned as she looked over at Sami, "but even people like her don't deserve this."


"No they don't," Lucas agreed feeling the guilt weigh down on his heart as he turned his attention to Sami once again, "she can be a real witch, but she's my son's mother and I couldn't bear the thought of having to tell Will that his mom is going to be gone. He needs her and I'm certain that if he loses her, it'll kill him inside. I can't deal with that."


"Will won't be the only one who needs her," Genie shook her head, "given Sami's history, I don't understand why someone so cold and cruel seems to embrace motherhood like she does. It's as if there's some kind of karmic joke at work here with her pregnant again and…"


"What did you just say?" Lucas spun around to face Genie.



"You didn't know?" Genie gasped shaking her head, "never mind," she turned to leave.



"Wait a second," Lucas tugged on her arm, "Genie, if you know something about Sami, you've already spilled it so you may as well finish the tale."


"Look Lucas, I'm not supposed to tell patient information, but I couldn't help but notice when they ran the lab tests on her," Genie sighed, "Despite the trauma she's faced in the accident, she's still very pregnant."



"Sami's pregnant?" Lucas's eyes widened in surprise.



Genie nodded, "It looks like God was trying to give her a second chance to do things right after all the mistakes she's made. Too bad that Brandon isn't around to experience being a father first hand considering that he was well on his way out of town after the paternity scam she ran. Then again knowing women like her, who's to say it's Brandon's?"


"Look Genie, Sami doesn't sleep around," Lucas snapped back at her, "she's a lot of things, but she's not like that."


"Hey sorry," she raised her hands in the air defensively, "look I know you can't stand her either and I just thought…"


"Well don't think," Lucas answered gruffly, "they don't pay you to think here. You're paid to do your job, so you might want to get back to it and while you're at it, why don't you have Dr. Wesley get his butt back in here and help Sami? She needs him."


"Lucas, are you sure that you're…" Genie began.



"You heard me didn't you?" He snapped again, "there's more than Sami at stake if she's pregnant. Now I said…"


"I heard you," she frowned leaving the room puzzled by his strange behavior. Somehow he wasn't acting like the same Lucas Roberts that brought Sami down just a few days earlier in revealing her big secret.



As Genie left the room, Lucas returned to Sami's side unable to hold back his tears as he touched her cheek, "I promise you Sami. I'm going to make things right. Somehow, someway I'm going to do that for you. I promise you. Oh God Sami," he reached for her hand squeezing it gently, "please just hold on…" he urged hoping his prayers weren't falling upon deaf ears. He couldn't risk losing her…not now.

********

Brandon Walker looked around Taylor's apartment finding himself ready to crawl out of his skin as the walls seemed to close in around him. Looking to the phone, he contemplated picking it up and dialing her number. Despite the way he'd felt when he'd left town, there was something about Samantha Brady that he couldn't leave behind. He'd wanted to hate her, to be away from her from that day forward, but his heart longed to see her smile, to hear her laughter and just to hold her in his arms once again. It had been too long since he'd touched her already. Moving towards the phone, Brandon reached out to it, picking up the receiver as he heard footsteps from behind him and he set the phone down again.



"You're still in here," Taylor frowned greeting her brother, "Brandon, I would've thought you'd been out exploring Chicago by now."


"And miss all the fun of spending time with my little sister," he shook his head as he forced a smile and faced her, "I wouldn't dream of it."


"Brandon, look I know you're not happy in here," Taylor set the grocery bags down that she'd carried in, "I know that this is killing you and staying locked up in here isn't going to help you move on."


"How can I move on Taylor?" Brandon questioned with a sigh running his fingers through his hair, "The love of my life is back in Salem and I'm missing her like crazy."


"A few days ago, you couldn't get far enough away from her," Taylor reminded him.



"I was wrong," Brandon confessed at long last, "I was wrong to ever leave her side. I don't know what I was thinking."


"You were thinking that she betrayed your trust. She was going to keep you from your child because she was trying to live by that rule of self preservation that Sami Brady was notorious for," Taylor reminded him reaching into the grocery bag she'd brought home.



"Taylor, you don't understand. Samantha's just hurting and she's never had anything in her life to believe in," Brandon confessed painfully, "she's always wanted someone to trust, to hold onto and to love her, but I blew it. The moment I slept with Lexie, I violated the trust we'd had in one another."


"Brandon, you can't blame yourself for what happened," Taylor frowned setting her box of cereal on the counter, "Sami, never, ever should've done what she did to you. There's no excusing it."


"Taylor, can you honestly tell me if you found out that your boyfriend slept with another woman while you two had a brief break up period that it wouldn't bother you," he noted the expression on his sister's face, "I didn't think so."


"I'm not saying that you were right because you're a dog Brandon," she gave him a stern look.



"Gee thanks," he rolled his eyes.



"But what I am saying is that Sami still shouldn't have done what she did," she explained simply, "she kept you from what she felt was your own flesh and blood…"


"She felt trapped," Brandon defended his wife's point of view, "when she's feeling like the walls are crashing around her, she reacts and it leads to desperate actions."


"Brandon, what is your deal," she placed her hand on her hip scrutinizing her brother's words, "first you can't stand the idea of being tied down to that woman and you get working on an annulment right away, but now you're defending her. What gives?"


"I love her Taylor," Brandon admitted painfully, "heaven help me, but I love her. I can't even remember a time in my life when I haven't loved her. She's everything to me."


"Brandon, you're talking crazy."


"Maybe I am," he shrugged his shoulders as his gaze lingered to the phone once again, "but I just…I can't stop thinking about her…"


"Brandon, I wish you wouldn't torture yourself over this like you're doing," she sighed seeing that her brother was lost over a woman who'd broken his heart, "it's not healthy."


"Even so, I don't know what healthy is anymore. I mean lets face it, I've lived a lie my whole life and now, well now I don't know how to put the pieces together. I just can't find a way to do that," he sighed closing his eyes as he thought back to the life he'd had in Salem.



"Brandon, you have to keep fighting. You have to keep trying to move forward. If you stop fighting, then you're going to just rot and I won't allow that to happen," she circled around the island counter in her small kitchen. "In fact, what do you say to a night on the town with your sister? We could go out for dinner, maybe go to a club and find you a distraction for a while…" she poked him in the ribs, "what do you say?"


"Taylor," he looked at her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "thanks for trying, but I think tonight I just need some time."


"Even so," she shook her head poignantly, "time is one thing, but what you're doing is self destructive."


"Maybe that's what I deserve," he shrugged his shoulders getting up from the arm of the sofa he'd been seated on as he made his way towards the balcony opting to lose his sorrows to the night. Stepping out into the night, he looked to the busy world below as the Chicago nightlife played out beneath him. There was something about the carefree city that had once brought him a sense of excitement, a thrill of the night, but now as he looked up at the moon, the only thoughts that plagued him were ones of Samantha as he wondered how she was doing and what she was going through in this moment in time. How could he just leave her behind? What had he been thinking?

********



Lucas sat at the bar looking at the half empty bottle of bourbon before him. He'd promised himself that he'd stop slipping down this slope he'd taken once he'd began working for Tony Dimera, but now as he thought of the position he'd put Sami in, he couldn't find any other alternative but to drown his sorrows in the numbing alcohol. Lifting his glass to his lips as he finished off his drink, he reached for the bottle again wondering how he'd allowed things to get of out of hand. All he'd wanted…oh hell it didn't matter what he wanted anymore…he just wanted to fix it.



"And a fine job you've done at that," Lucas mumbled to his reflection in the mirror before him behind the bar. He saw the expression on his face and he cringed at the thought of what he'd become. He was trying to become a made man, but now, well now it just didn't feel right as he thought of what he'd sacrificed in terms of his life to get to where he was right now, which oddly enough was still very miserable.



"Oh Sami, Sami, Sami," he muttered to himself as he reached for the neck of the bottle taking a swig of the stinging liquid from the bottle as his gaze drifted lazily to the phone at the end of the bar. While he'd managed to mess things up, maybe there was a way of fixing it…yes, indeed maybe there was a way, he decided reaching for the phone and dialing a few numbers clumsily.



"Yes, this is Lucas Roberts," he told the voice on the other end of the line, "I'm calling because I need a favor and I need it tonight…" he began hoping to find a way to fix things once and for all.

*******

Brandon lifted the glass to his lips as he drank the corona Taylor had given him. While she'd finally drifted off to bed, he couldn't leave the balcony as he took a seat in one of the plastic chairs she'd had out upon it. He looked to the night sky thinking of the night he and Samantha had been locked out on top of the rooftop in the rain, drenched with passion and the magic of their feelings revealed at long last.

"You want me to believe in you? In us? Don't you know me better than that Samantha? I haven't believed in anything for years. I stopped believing when I was with my dad and he was ripping into me. Whatever people told me to believe it always went bad. My mom told me to believe in the law then I saw what the law could do to a family when Abe took advantage of my mother. You know what I believe in Samantha. I believe that people will always let me down that's what I believe," Brandon informed her.



"I am so sorry that I disappointed you Brandon. I'm sorry that I used your feelings to get you to protect me. I have grown up since then okay. I have found out for myself how it's like to let someone let you down and I promise you promise that won't be what happens between us anymore. May lightning strike me dead if what I'm about to say isn't true Brandon. I love you ok. you can believe that believe that I will love you forever. I want to be with you tonight and for the rest of our lives."



"I want to believe you Samantha."



"Look Brandon maybe there's a reason it's raining tonight. Maybe you know maybe you can let the rain wash your pain away. Just feel it on your face. Feel it all over you. Let everything go. All the pain and all the disappointment of your father and what he did to you and your mom and Abe. You know I'm afraid of storms, but I'm not scared of anything when you're with me. "



"What about Austin? Did I make you forget about him?"



"I wanted Austin in the way a little girl wants a toy she knows she can't have. I had this fantasy about what love was like and I was forcing Austin to live that fantasy with me. You were right it could never last because it wasn't real. This....this is real. I can't believe I'm even saying all of this, but my heart is so full of love that I'm not afraid to say anything to you because when you're near me it's all I need. You know me Brandon and you fell in love with me not in spite of who I am, but because of who I am. I've never had that before not even with my family. Your love makes all the hurt go away. Loosing Austin and not being with my son right now....life can be so tough and sometimes I even feel like giving up, but with you next to me and loving me I know I can do anything. Brandon, Austin couldn't do that for me. No one can love me like you do and you tried to tell me that, but now I finally get it. You love me Brandon Walker and I know that you always will."



"I do love you Samantha," his words echoed through his mind as he returned to this moment in time, to the night before him as his heart ached to hold the woman he'd loved for so very long.



"Oh Samantha," Brandon sighed closing his eyes as he thought of her and of how he'd had a slice of heaven within his reach if only for a brief moment in time. How could he ever move beyond that? His thoughts lingered to another moment in time when they'd come so close to honesty, yet they'd held back.



"Why does this always happen to me?" Sami questioned on the rooftop as Brandon opens the door and enters. "Why do I always lost the people I love? Will... Brandon.."

"You tell me."

" Brandon you have to leave me alone."

"You don't want that."

"We can't be seen together."

"Says who? Tell me."

"I can't. You'd hate me forever."

"I can never hate you Samantha: I love you."

"I love you too Brandon."

"Then tell me what's got you so scared. The truth Samantha. It's the only chance we got."

" All right. You want the truth, I'll tell you. All of it."

" I'm listening."

"The truth is everything I've told you is a lie."

"What exactly did you lie about?"

"Well I should start with the Salem Inn. The reason I was there when your sister got shot. The reason I was following her was because I was afraid of her."

"Why?"

"Because she's out to destroy me."

"I knew you were paranoid Sami."

"Just hear me out"

"But all this talk about people out to get you…"

"Not people your sister."

"Just because she doesn't like you."

"No, it's more than that, she's using everything she can to keep us apart."

"That's crazy."

"How many times has she told you to stay away from me that I'm the last person you should be involved with?"

"Nicole is protective of me."

"Keeping you away from the woman of your dreams how is that protective."

"Did you really say that?"

"I'm sorry, I know it sounds egotistical, but I know I'm the right woman for you Brandon. More than any other one could be. We have something special between us. You know it as well as I do. "



Now returning to this moment in time, Samantha's words haunted him as he rose from the chair he'd been seated in. "You're right Samantha," Brandon tossed the bottle into the trash can as he searched the living room for his jacket. He'd made his decision. He was returning to Salem and nothing would stop him, he vowed as headed to the front door of Taylor's apartment, opening it and finding Lucas Roberts standing before him.



"Lucas, what the…" Brandon stopped himself as he looked down at the man before him.



"Brandon, we need…we need to talk," Lucas slurred as he stumbled into Taylor's apartment, "we must talk."


"Lucas, what the hell are you doing here and more so, are you drink?" Brandon eyed him intently.



"Just a little bit," Lucas pinched his fingers together in the air, "but right now we don't have time for that. Right now…well, we've gotta go big man," Lucas grabbed Brandon's arm.



"I'm not going anywhere with you," Brandon shrugged his arm free as a scowl pressed over his features.



"You have to," Lucas explained urgently as a hiccup escaped his lips, "we don't have time. I have the jet waiting at the airport and Sami…" Lucas trailed off.



"Sami what?" Brandon questioned reaching for him as Lucas stumbled over the sofa. He realized that Lucas was quite drunk as Lucas nearly fell to the ground heading towards Taylor's lamp and sending it down to the ground with a crash.



"What in the world is going on out here," Taylor entered the room looking at the two men before her, "what the…Lucas? Is that you?"


"Taylor," Lucas waved at her eagerly, "hey girlfriend."


"Lucas, what are you doing here," she stepped forward looking over to Brandon, "what's going on?"


"That's what I'd like to know," Brandon directed his attention to Lucas once again, "why are you here Lucas? What brought you here?"


"It's Sami," Lucas slurred his eyelids heavy as he realized that last bottle of bourbon in the plane was probably a very bad idea especially when he had an important message like the one he'd been carrying.



"What about Samantha," Brandon questioned urgently, "is she here with you?"


"No," Lucas shook his head before looking to Taylor again, "hey it's great to see you. You're cute."


"Lucas," Brandon grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "talk to me. Where is Samantha?"


"Salem," Lucas blurted out finally with an exasperated tone, "she's in the Salem and she needs you Brandon. She needs you now," Lucas finally confessed as the mixture of his alcohol and his guilt swept him over into darkness as he passed out.



"Brandon, what's going on?" Taylor looked to her brother, "what is Lucas Roberts doing here in my apartment and why is he spouting off about Sami?"



"I don't know," Brandon frowned deeply as a sense of fear tugged at his insides, "but I'm about to find out," he announced slipping into his jacket.



"Brandon, where are you going," Taylor questioned watching him head off towards the door, "Brandon?"


"I'm going back to where I belong," he announced boldly, "I'm going back to Salem to find Samantha."

…to be continued…