"I can't believe you asked him for a kiss goodnight," Angel said.

Buffy shrugged, "I was mostly asleep, and he's a really good kisser."

"Yeah."

Buffy lifted an eyebrow and Angel quickly backtracked, "Or so I heard. From Drusilla." Angel cleared his throat, "So did Riley ever find out?"

She sighed, "Yeah. He wouldn't have known, except he dropped by my house the next morning, unexpectedly. He knew something was up when he saw me."

"How?"

"I never wore my sushi pajamas, and of course, it was obvious that I didn't bandage myself."

"So he automatically assumed it was Spike?"

"Well, no, but he found his.."

*** ".lighter?"

"Uh, it's mine," Buffy said tentatively.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"I don't smoke. It's for lighting vampires on fire, when I run out of stakes." Ok, that was really, really lame, but Buffy was hungry and groggy, and in still in slight bit of pain.

"Uh huh. Did Spike give it to you?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because I saw him use this very lighter last night."

Buffy didn't know how to respond to that. It probably fell out of his pocket when he leaned over to kiss her. Served her right, for being greedy. Riley looked very angry. "What was Spike doing in your room?"

"He was putting me to bed."

"What?"

"Last night, he saved me from a demon. It almost ripped my guts out and poisoned me in the process. He took care of the venom, wrapped my wound, and put me to bed. I don't understand why you're so angry."

"Because you said you weren't going to look for him."

"And I didn't! I got blindsided by a demon, and he happened to be there."

"Hostile 17 never just happens to be anywhere when it comes to you."

"What do you mean?"

"He's got some freaky obsessive with you. It's not safe!" Riley insisted.

"He can't hurt me."

"He's a vampire, Buffy. You slay vampires because they're dangerous. I don't understand why you are not getting this concept."

"And I don't understand what makes you think you can talk down to me. I've been the Chosen One longer than you've been working for the Initiative."

"Well, sometimes it's hard to remember that when you don't perform your sacred duty."

"What would you know about my sacred duty, Riley? You read the Slayer Handbook? You participate in the training sessions? How many times have you saved the world? How many times, for that matter, have you taken Spike on in a fair fight and won?"

"If 17 didn't have his chip, he would kill me."

"Exactly. I have fought him several times, and I'm still here. He's not a threat. Not to me, not to anybody."

"Buffy, he can still kill people. He knows vampires and demons that would be more than happy to do his bidding. Didn't you say he hired assassins to take you out once? What's to stop him from doing it again?"

Buffy paused, Riley did have a point there. By this time they were both in the kitchen and Buffy was furiously making herself some eggs. She felt famished, and the fight was giving her a heady adrenalin rush. She moved carefully as possible in order not to break any of her mother's dishes or silverware.

"I'll give him a chance."

"Why?"

"Damnit Riley! Because when push comes to shove, it's my responsibility."

"Angel was your responsibility too."

"Riley," Buffy's voice was low and soft, deceptive, "let me make one thing clear. You do not know, you could ever know, what happened with Angel. Don't bring him up again."

Riley took a step towards her and rubbed her arm gently. "I'm sorry Baby. You're right. It's just, Hostile 17 makes me so crazy! You have to understand."

Buffy nodded, "I do, Riley, I do. But in the demon world, I'm in charge. The one girl in all the world, and all that stuff. Let me do my job."

"I just want to help."

"And you do, you help me a lot. I don't like when we fight Riley." She stood on her tiptoed (and registered briefly that she never had to stretch to reach Spike's lips) and kissed him softly. "Let's not fight anymore today. Mom's gone, we have the house to ourselves.."

Riley smiled, "Do you have anything in particular in mind?"

Unbidden, the thought of the blonde vampire came to mind. She firmly pushed the thought away and took Riley's hand.

*** She trusted him once. The Slayer did. He knew, because he heard her say one day she would give him a chance. She didn't know he was there, but he had stayed in her basement, just to make sure that she wouldn't need anything.

Spike had heard her fight with Riley, they were arguing over him. And she said that she would give him a chance. It shouldn't have mattered. He shouldn't have cared, or even wanted a chance to prove himself. He should have laughed at her and set about proving her wrong. He still had enough money to hire the assassins. He could still find someone to his dirty work.

But it did matter somehow. Somehow it was very important. Not just because his life depended on it, but because he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to feel her, hold her. He wanted her to smile at him.

He loved her.

Sometimes Spike couldn't remember his own name. Most the time he didn't know where he was, what day it was, or even when he had last fed. But he remembered that. He remembered the epiphany he had had the day she shagged Captain Cardboard right over his head. He never forgot that fact, and would carry it with him until he reached his dusty end.

He loved her. He loved the Slayer. He loved Buffy Anne Summers.

*** "Spike was there the whole time."

"Where?"

"In the house. I found him later that night. The odd thing was, I was completely mortified."

"Why? Did he give you a hard time?"

Buffy shook her head, "You know Spike, made some subtle jabs, but that was it.. Told me he got trapped in the house while he was making sure that I got to sleep without problems. But I was still embarrassed."

Angel raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't want Spike to know I actually slept with Riley."

"Yeah, I don't think any of us want to know that."

"It was your idea."

"It was my idea for you to sleep with Riley?"

"Well, you wanted me to have a normal life."

"If I knew you were going to run right into Riley's arms, I never would have said that."

She hit his arm. "Don't start with me, Angel."

"Ever think he was a mistake?"

Buffy shrugged, "I've made a lot of mistakes. But I never counted trying to have a relationship with Riley as one of them. The mistake was not ending it sooner."

She looked at Spike and was silent for several minutes. Angel didn't break the silence, she looked very deep in thought. Lost in her own memories, wrapped up in her own regrets. Angel knew about regret, perhaps better than anybody. But he had a feeling that Buffy knew almost as much about it.

"I was scared," she finally said. It was just a breath of sound.

"Scared of what?"

"I wanted him. I wanted him more and more with each passing day. It went beyond kisses and pet names. And it scared me." She looked up at Angel, and he could see that her eyes were wet with unshed tears. "I wasn't supposed to want him, I'm not supposed to want him still. But Angel it consumed me. I couldn't get.."

*** ".away?"

"I told you how I got away, Rupes, I ran out the door. A door that doesn't exist anymore. They must have closed it."

"Well then you aren't much help to me."

"The Slayer knows how to get in, what do you need me for?"

"We kept you alive for your help," Giles pointed out.

"And I did help!" Spike exploded. "Bloody hell, what do you want from me? I told you all about Adam's plan, what else can I do?"

"How did you get that information?" Xander asked.

Spike sighed, "Word travels fast in the demon world."

"I thought you weren't welcome in those circles anymore?"

"I'm not. This information was bloody hard to come by, and I thought you'd all be a bit more grateful. I risked my bleedin' neck for you lot, and you want more."

"You're right, Spike," Buffy said, "you gave us a lot of help." She smiled at him softly and then turned to the rest of the game. "Between what I know about the Initiative and Spike's information, we can come up with a pretty good plan."

"Has Riley called yet?"

Buffy frowned and shook her head, "No, and I'm really starting to worry."

Willow took Buffy's hand, "He'll be fine. I'm sure of it."

"Thanks Wills. Ok, everybody try to get a bit of sleep and something to eat. We're going out after dark."

The Gang spread out around Giles' apartment, doing whatever they needed to get prepared. Spike didn't move from his perch by the door.

"Hey," Buffy said.

"Hey," Spike returned.

"Can we talk?"

"Physically? Apparently so."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it."

"Yeah, Slayer, lead the way."

"It'll have to be the bathroom. I would just go outside but."

"You don't want to talk to a big pile of dust. Gotcha."

Spike followed her to the bathroom and shuddered slightly at the site of the tub. "I never knew that chains could be so bloody embarrassing."

Buffy laughed softly at the comment. "I don't even want to know."

"So, Slayer, what's up?"

"Why don't you tell me how you know Adam's plan?"

"I told you. Heard it through the grapevine."

"Spike, please, you're a horrible liar. Just tell me."

Spike stared at her, and she could see the wheels spinning in his head. She could almost see him weighing his options. She folded her arms and waited patiently.

"What's it to you?"

"I have to know your source to gage how accurate the information is."

"I got it from Adam, ok?"

Buffy frowned, "How?"

"What do you mean, how? He told me."

"Ok, why?"

Spike sighed, "He offered to take my chip out. In the process he told me what he was up to."

"Did you?"

"What?"

"Get the chip out?"

"If I did, do you think I would be talking to the Slayer in her watcher's bathroom?"

"Why not?"

Spike shrugged, "Didn't trust the bloke."

Buffy was standing just two feet away from him, close enough to touch if she reached for him. Just a few steps and he would be close enough to kiss. He didn't have to spell it out for her, and she didn't have to ask. He didn't get the chip removed, didn't betray them, because he wanted his chance to start over.

She knew Spike was too proud to ever admit to that. He still wanted to keep up the image of the Big Bad, but Buffy was slowly coming to understand that that was a façade. There was something deeper about Spike, beyond his evil ways.

Almost on their own accord, her feet moved forward. She was pressed up against him now, and she almost sighed with relief. For the past two weeks all she wanted to was touch him, but she never allowed herself the luxury. She avoided all touching and kept her distance. Apparently, Spike had noticed.

"Well, Slayer, didn't think you cared anymore."

She tilted her head towards him slightly, in a silent invitation. He didn't need to be asked twice. He captured her mouth and with an audible sigh of relief, she opened her lips. Riley was nice, and she was still worried about him, but he didn't make her blood boil like this.

His hands crept under her shirt and he cupped her breasts gently, rubbing her nipples with his thumbs. He echoed her sigh from earlier. It felt so good to have her this close, in his grasp. He wanted to take her right there on the bathroom floor. Buffy wanted to let him.

"Spike.."

"Wha?"

"We..we.gotta stop."

"I don't want to." He was kissing her neck now, feeling the beat of her strong pulse against his lips, listening to the blood rush so close to the surface of the skin. He didn't want to bite her, but it was still a heady experience.

"I don't either," she admitted, "but we can't do this."

Spike lifted his head, "Why not?"

Buffy forced herself to look away from his blue eyes, afraid if she looked she would fall into them. "Everybody is just outside the door, and well, we're in the bathroom."

Spike looked around, as if only now noticing where they were. "Good point."

Desire was coursing through Buffy's body, and it was almost impossible to take another step away. "I gotta focus right now."

"I know."

She kissed him again, this time it was soft and quick. A promise. Spike was willing to wait.