Ah, it is time......TIME FOR THE DRAMATIC ENDING TO THIS CASE! HAHAHAHA!
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.....
Oops, that's the wrong story.
Disclaimer - If you actually bother reading these things just take a look at the disclaimer on
Chapter #1
Okay, now that that's over.....on with the fic! Um, yay? Oh, and yes, I really, REALLY hate Hojo......
Last lines from previous chapter:
Kouga: Your ideas suck!
Hojo: Uh, you guys do realize that I can hear you, right?
Now we continue.......
Case #1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 4
Naraku: Snnooorree.......mommy I don't wanna fly a kite.......there's lightning outside......
Kag: InuYasha, are you gonna think of a plan or do I have to do it?
Inu: I already TOLD you, we let him ransom off.....
Kag: Fine, I'LL do it.
Hojo: Why isn't anyone bringing me any ransom money?
Inu: *Innocently* Maybe you sent the notes to the wrong addresses.
Hojo: SHUT UP! MY HANDWRITING IS LEGIBLE! *Takes out a piece of paper* See?
Sess: Mhf nywm os Hokol. Huh? You call this legible? What the hell does it say, anyway?
Hojo: It SAYS, 'My name is Hojo.'
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I thought you were Hojina.
Inu: *Takes out a hypnotic coin and swings it back and forth, back and forth....* Watch the pretty
coin.......Listen to nothing but the sound of my voice.......Let it entice you.......You are
getting sleepy, very, VERY sleepy.....no, I mean....you will obey my every command....
Hojo: *Hypnotized* I will obey your every command....
Inu: Yes. You were about to let us go....
Hojo: *Walks over to Inu* I was about to let you go.....*Pulls out a strange technical-looking-mumbo-
jumbo-thing with wires sticking out of it and has a piece of tape across it that reads: "Remote
to Electro-Net. DO NO TOUCH."*
Kag thinking: Oh my God it's working!
Inu thinking: That's right just a little closer....
Hojo: *Stops in his tracks* Did you really think I'd fall for that?
Kag: Well, yeah.
Inu: Damn! That's the last time I try to use anything from that stupid "How to Hypnotize Anyone"
instructional video by Bill Gates. That's how he got me to buy the damn thing!
Kag: Do you suppose that's what he used to get people to buy Microsoft stock?
Inu: Do you think that's what he uses to get......
Hojo: SHUT UP! IT'S TIME TO COLLECT MY BOUNTY! *pretends he has a gun and strikes a pose....like Faye
Valentine*
Sess: Bounty?
Kag: I think you've been watching too many episodes of Cowboy Bebop.
Inu: Uh-huh.
Hojo: ACK! NO! DON'T DO THAT!
Inu: Huh? *Turns around*
*Suddenly a flash of light attacks the Electro-Net and then mysteriously disappears*
Inu: *Touches Electro-Net, Electro-Net falls apart* I...I think something broke it....
Kouga: *Sarcastically* Wow, you must be a GENIUS!
*Kag feels something furry rubbing against her leg*
Kag: EEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS RUBBING
AGAINST MY LEG?! *Glares at Kouga*
Kouga: Don't look at me! *Looks at Inu*
Inu: What?! I didn't do it!
Kag: Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It-it's still against my leg!
Inu: *Looks down at her leg and snickers* Um, Kagome maybe you should actually LOOK at it.
Kag: Huh?
*Kag looks down*
Buyo: Meow?
Kag: *Smiling* Buyo! *Picks up Buyo* Huh?.....Why are you wearing a red cape? *Reads back of cape*
"Super Buyo", what the hell is this?
Inu: That stupid cat did this?!
Kag: *Pets Buyo* Buyo did you save us?
Buyo: Puurrrr. Meow.
Kag: Aw, thank you Buyo! *Hugs him*
*Buyo snuggles against her chest*
Inu: *Twitch. Twitch*
Hojo: THAT CAT HAS TO DIE!!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE BECAUSE I AM.....SAILOR MOON!!!
Bankotsu: What the hell has HE been smoking?
Naraku: A CAT broke my Electro-Net?
Kouga: *shrugs* I guess.
Sess: Well that Hojo girl said that Youkai, Hanyou, and humans can't break the Electro-Net. That cat
isn't any of those, it's an animal.
Hojo: I AM NOT A GIRL!
Sess: But you said that....
Hojo: *Holds head* SHUT UP! SHUT UP! *Pulls an axe out of his kimono* YOU MUST DIE YOU STUPID CAT!
*Hojo runs at Buyo with the axe, and Buyo jumps at Hojo's face biting and clawing*
Buyo: MEOW!
Hojo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET
OFFA ME! GET OFFA ME! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Kouga: Yeah!
Sess: Get him!
Bankotsu: GO SUPER BUYO!
Naraku: Snnooorrreeeeee...........
Hojo: *High pitched voice* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Later That Night
*Inu is petting Buyo while sitting in his Detective chair in his office*
Inu narrating: Well, I guess everything turned out okay. After he woke up, Naraku went home to his...uh,
loved ones....... *Muffled laughter*
Naraku: *Gasps when he sees Kagura, Juuroumaru, and everyone else on the floor with MAJOR hangovers* OH
MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?! You are SO cleaning this up young lady....
Kagura: *Yawn* Naraku? Y-you're home? How the hell did THAT happen?
Naraku: Well, no thanks to YOU I had help from a certain someone.....
Kagura: InuYasha?
Naraku: *Jumps* Aahhh! Where?! *Begins a Kung-Fu defense stance*
Juuroumaru: *Stretches out* Ah! That was SOME party.....Naraku? You....survived?
Naraku: *Crosses arms* Yeah, I did. *Sarcastic voice* Oh, by the way....I just wanted to thank you guys
for ALL of your HELP and SUPPORT to try to get me back home.
Kagura: *Smiles and puts her hand to her head and salutes him* Aye-aye sir! T'was no trouble at all!
Naraku: *Rolls eyes* I have created idiots.
Inu narrating: Sesshoumaru went back to Rin and Jaken.....
Rin: SESSHOUMARU-SAMA! *Hugs Sess* You back!
Sess: Jaken. Is there some reason why you did not send any money or help to rescue me?
Jaken: Aye, me Lord. I just thought that YOU wouldn't NEED rescuing since you are so strong and....
Sess: Jaken?
Jaken: Yes?
Sess: Shut up.
Jaken: *Quietly* Aye, me Lord.
Inu narrating: Kouga went back to his tribe.....
Wolf-Demon #1: Kouga, you're back!
Wolf-Demon #2: He left?
Kouga: YES! I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A FUCKIN' PSYCHO!
Wolf-Demon #3: Did you bring us food?
Kouga: Grrrrr.
Inu narrating: Bankotsu went back to his tribe.....
Bankotsu: Why isn't anyone here? *Sees a piece of paper lying on the ground and picks it up* Blah, blah,
blah, "It's party time! Come to Naraku's castle for drinking, games, burning effigies, and
whatever you want to happen! PS: NARAKU'S NOT HERE! ~ Kagura & Kanna."........So they're at
Naraku's?
Later at Naraku's castle
Naraku: *Painting his toenails* AND DON'T FORGET TO DUST THE CEILING JAKOTSU! I'M WATCHING YOU! *Looks
at his TV* Wow, I never knew "The Young and the Restless" was so interesting.....
TV actress: Don't leave me, you can't leave me........I'M HAVING YOUR BABY!
TV actor: Sorry, but I'm leaving you for your twin sister!
TV actress: But she's dead!
TV actor: Yes, but that doesn't matter....*Puts fist on his chest* because love will always triumph!
Naraku: *Sniff, sniff* He's SUCH a saint! I hope he ends up with Cher....
Bankotsu: *Walks in with seaweed in his hair and is soaking wet* Jakotsu, Renkotsu! You are SO gonna
PAY for this!! *Drip, drip*
Jakotsu and Renkotsu: *Sweatdrop* =^_^=U Uh, heh heh....
Naraku: Sshhhh! Keep it down, I'm watching my soaps! *Looks back at his TV* .....You GO Linda!
Bankotsu: What the hell is he talking about?
Kagura: I don't know. He's been staring at that piece of wood ever since he got back, I think there's
something REALLY wrong with him.
Jakotsu: You mean there wasn't anything wrong with him BEFORE?
Kagura: *Giggles* Don't let him hear you say that!
Naraku: *Still staring at the piece of wood* Poor Linda. *Starts balling like a baby* HOW COULD YOU DO
THAT TO HER, LANCE! YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD!!!
Inu narrating: and Hojo....or Hojina, or whatever you wanna call that dumbass, ended up in a sanitarium.
Kagome had him commited to one when she got back home. She said she'd visit him once in a while.
I don't know why, he's a total nutcase. When those people came to take him away he was screaming
something about yellow toads and to kill the moon 'cause it laughs at him. THE MOON LAUGHS AT
HIM?! Well, I do too. Don't you? Well, maybe I'll go there one day with Kagome and ask him about
it......well anyway, I, InuYasha the Detective, have solved my very first case with noone's
help at all.....
Buyo narrating: Meow?
Inu narrating: What? I did.
Buyo narrating: MEOW!
Inu narrating: I never ASKED for your HELP!
Buyo narrating: MRROOWWW!
Inu narrating: I COULD'VE SOLVED IT ON MY OWN!!!
Buyo narrating: MMEEEOOOWWWWW!!!!
*Buyo leaps at Inu's throat, scratching and biting*
Inu narrating: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO, BAD BUYO! AAHHHHHHH! AHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
NO, NOT THAT, DON'T GO DOWN THERE! THAT'S NOT FOR KITTIES! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T HURT THAT!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BBBBBBBUUUUUUUYYOOOOOOOOO!
~THE END (Of this case)~
Yes, you heard me. I thought of a bunch of other cases for Inu to handle. This is not the only one.
Didn't you notice how I wrote CASE #1 instead of CHAPTER #1? Yes there is a case number two! and
three, and four, and....well, you get the idea. I've already written Case #2 but I might edit it
and make it longer or change it or something. Well anyway, I just wanted to say that there are
multiple cases for Detective InuYasha .....SO DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT OVER YET! The fun is just
beginning, MWAHAHA! But, I'm gonna have to stop writing fics for a little while 'cause I gotta
study for my GED so mom can stop bugging me about it. Oh, one more thing. I just wanted to say
that this wasn't my origional version of the story. In the origional version I was the kidnapper
but I thought the ending sucked so I decided to try to change the story and that didn't work, so
I decided to just change who the kidnapper was.....I went through Sango, Kaede, Rin, Kagome, and
a few others but those didn't work either and then I thought of another one, Kagome's mom.
Seriously, who would suspect Kagome's mom? Anyway I asked my mom who would be the last person
that she would suspect to be the Bishounen Kidnapper and she said, "Um, Hojo?" and we just
couldn't stop laughing so I decided to use that one. So, thank you for the idea mom! Well anyway
don't forget to review! *Takes out hypnotic coin* You WILL review my fic.......flames are still
welcome......read....review.....read....review......
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.....
Oops, that's the wrong story.
Disclaimer - If you actually bother reading these things just take a look at the disclaimer on
Chapter #1
Okay, now that that's over.....on with the fic! Um, yay? Oh, and yes, I really, REALLY hate Hojo......
Last lines from previous chapter:
Kouga: Your ideas suck!
Hojo: Uh, you guys do realize that I can hear you, right?
Now we continue.......
Case #1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 4
Naraku: Snnooorree.......mommy I don't wanna fly a kite.......there's lightning outside......
Kag: InuYasha, are you gonna think of a plan or do I have to do it?
Inu: I already TOLD you, we let him ransom off.....
Kag: Fine, I'LL do it.
Hojo: Why isn't anyone bringing me any ransom money?
Inu: *Innocently* Maybe you sent the notes to the wrong addresses.
Hojo: SHUT UP! MY HANDWRITING IS LEGIBLE! *Takes out a piece of paper* See?
Sess: Mhf nywm os Hokol. Huh? You call this legible? What the hell does it say, anyway?
Hojo: It SAYS, 'My name is Hojo.'
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I thought you were Hojina.
Inu: *Takes out a hypnotic coin and swings it back and forth, back and forth....* Watch the pretty
coin.......Listen to nothing but the sound of my voice.......Let it entice you.......You are
getting sleepy, very, VERY sleepy.....no, I mean....you will obey my every command....
Hojo: *Hypnotized* I will obey your every command....
Inu: Yes. You were about to let us go....
Hojo: *Walks over to Inu* I was about to let you go.....*Pulls out a strange technical-looking-mumbo-
jumbo-thing with wires sticking out of it and has a piece of tape across it that reads: "Remote
to Electro-Net. DO NO TOUCH."*
Kag thinking: Oh my God it's working!
Inu thinking: That's right just a little closer....
Hojo: *Stops in his tracks* Did you really think I'd fall for that?
Kag: Well, yeah.
Inu: Damn! That's the last time I try to use anything from that stupid "How to Hypnotize Anyone"
instructional video by Bill Gates. That's how he got me to buy the damn thing!
Kag: Do you suppose that's what he used to get people to buy Microsoft stock?
Inu: Do you think that's what he uses to get......
Hojo: SHUT UP! IT'S TIME TO COLLECT MY BOUNTY! *pretends he has a gun and strikes a pose....like Faye
Valentine*
Sess: Bounty?
Kag: I think you've been watching too many episodes of Cowboy Bebop.
Inu: Uh-huh.
Hojo: ACK! NO! DON'T DO THAT!
Inu: Huh? *Turns around*
*Suddenly a flash of light attacks the Electro-Net and then mysteriously disappears*
Inu: *Touches Electro-Net, Electro-Net falls apart* I...I think something broke it....
Kouga: *Sarcastically* Wow, you must be a GENIUS!
*Kag feels something furry rubbing against her leg*
Kag: EEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS RUBBING
AGAINST MY LEG?! *Glares at Kouga*
Kouga: Don't look at me! *Looks at Inu*
Inu: What?! I didn't do it!
Kag: Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It-it's still against my leg!
Inu: *Looks down at her leg and snickers* Um, Kagome maybe you should actually LOOK at it.
Kag: Huh?
*Kag looks down*
Buyo: Meow?
Kag: *Smiling* Buyo! *Picks up Buyo* Huh?.....Why are you wearing a red cape? *Reads back of cape*
"Super Buyo", what the hell is this?
Inu: That stupid cat did this?!
Kag: *Pets Buyo* Buyo did you save us?
Buyo: Puurrrr. Meow.
Kag: Aw, thank you Buyo! *Hugs him*
*Buyo snuggles against her chest*
Inu: *Twitch. Twitch*
Hojo: THAT CAT HAS TO DIE!!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE BECAUSE I AM.....SAILOR MOON!!!
Bankotsu: What the hell has HE been smoking?
Naraku: A CAT broke my Electro-Net?
Kouga: *shrugs* I guess.
Sess: Well that Hojo girl said that Youkai, Hanyou, and humans can't break the Electro-Net. That cat
isn't any of those, it's an animal.
Hojo: I AM NOT A GIRL!
Sess: But you said that....
Hojo: *Holds head* SHUT UP! SHUT UP! *Pulls an axe out of his kimono* YOU MUST DIE YOU STUPID CAT!
*Hojo runs at Buyo with the axe, and Buyo jumps at Hojo's face biting and clawing*
Buyo: MEOW!
Hojo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET
OFFA ME! GET OFFA ME! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Kouga: Yeah!
Sess: Get him!
Bankotsu: GO SUPER BUYO!
Naraku: Snnooorrreeeeee...........
Hojo: *High pitched voice* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Later That Night
*Inu is petting Buyo while sitting in his Detective chair in his office*
Inu narrating: Well, I guess everything turned out okay. After he woke up, Naraku went home to his...uh,
loved ones....... *Muffled laughter*
Naraku: *Gasps when he sees Kagura, Juuroumaru, and everyone else on the floor with MAJOR hangovers* OH
MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?! You are SO cleaning this up young lady....
Kagura: *Yawn* Naraku? Y-you're home? How the hell did THAT happen?
Naraku: Well, no thanks to YOU I had help from a certain someone.....
Kagura: InuYasha?
Naraku: *Jumps* Aahhh! Where?! *Begins a Kung-Fu defense stance*
Juuroumaru: *Stretches out* Ah! That was SOME party.....Naraku? You....survived?
Naraku: *Crosses arms* Yeah, I did. *Sarcastic voice* Oh, by the way....I just wanted to thank you guys
for ALL of your HELP and SUPPORT to try to get me back home.
Kagura: *Smiles and puts her hand to her head and salutes him* Aye-aye sir! T'was no trouble at all!
Naraku: *Rolls eyes* I have created idiots.
Inu narrating: Sesshoumaru went back to Rin and Jaken.....
Rin: SESSHOUMARU-SAMA! *Hugs Sess* You back!
Sess: Jaken. Is there some reason why you did not send any money or help to rescue me?
Jaken: Aye, me Lord. I just thought that YOU wouldn't NEED rescuing since you are so strong and....
Sess: Jaken?
Jaken: Yes?
Sess: Shut up.
Jaken: *Quietly* Aye, me Lord.
Inu narrating: Kouga went back to his tribe.....
Wolf-Demon #1: Kouga, you're back!
Wolf-Demon #2: He left?
Kouga: YES! I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A FUCKIN' PSYCHO!
Wolf-Demon #3: Did you bring us food?
Kouga: Grrrrr.
Inu narrating: Bankotsu went back to his tribe.....
Bankotsu: Why isn't anyone here? *Sees a piece of paper lying on the ground and picks it up* Blah, blah,
blah, "It's party time! Come to Naraku's castle for drinking, games, burning effigies, and
whatever you want to happen! PS: NARAKU'S NOT HERE! ~ Kagura & Kanna."........So they're at
Naraku's?
Later at Naraku's castle
Naraku: *Painting his toenails* AND DON'T FORGET TO DUST THE CEILING JAKOTSU! I'M WATCHING YOU! *Looks
at his TV* Wow, I never knew "The Young and the Restless" was so interesting.....
TV actress: Don't leave me, you can't leave me........I'M HAVING YOUR BABY!
TV actor: Sorry, but I'm leaving you for your twin sister!
TV actress: But she's dead!
TV actor: Yes, but that doesn't matter....*Puts fist on his chest* because love will always triumph!
Naraku: *Sniff, sniff* He's SUCH a saint! I hope he ends up with Cher....
Bankotsu: *Walks in with seaweed in his hair and is soaking wet* Jakotsu, Renkotsu! You are SO gonna
PAY for this!! *Drip, drip*
Jakotsu and Renkotsu: *Sweatdrop* =^_^=U Uh, heh heh....
Naraku: Sshhhh! Keep it down, I'm watching my soaps! *Looks back at his TV* .....You GO Linda!
Bankotsu: What the hell is he talking about?
Kagura: I don't know. He's been staring at that piece of wood ever since he got back, I think there's
something REALLY wrong with him.
Jakotsu: You mean there wasn't anything wrong with him BEFORE?
Kagura: *Giggles* Don't let him hear you say that!
Naraku: *Still staring at the piece of wood* Poor Linda. *Starts balling like a baby* HOW COULD YOU DO
THAT TO HER, LANCE! YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD!!!
Inu narrating: and Hojo....or Hojina, or whatever you wanna call that dumbass, ended up in a sanitarium.
Kagome had him commited to one when she got back home. She said she'd visit him once in a while.
I don't know why, he's a total nutcase. When those people came to take him away he was screaming
something about yellow toads and to kill the moon 'cause it laughs at him. THE MOON LAUGHS AT
HIM?! Well, I do too. Don't you? Well, maybe I'll go there one day with Kagome and ask him about
it......well anyway, I, InuYasha the Detective, have solved my very first case with noone's
help at all.....
Buyo narrating: Meow?
Inu narrating: What? I did.
Buyo narrating: MEOW!
Inu narrating: I never ASKED for your HELP!
Buyo narrating: MRROOWWW!
Inu narrating: I COULD'VE SOLVED IT ON MY OWN!!!
Buyo narrating: MMEEEOOOWWWWW!!!!
*Buyo leaps at Inu's throat, scratching and biting*
Inu narrating: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO, BAD BUYO! AAHHHHHHH! AHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
NO, NOT THAT, DON'T GO DOWN THERE! THAT'S NOT FOR KITTIES! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T HURT THAT!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BBBBBBBUUUUUUUYYOOOOOOOOO!
~THE END (Of this case)~
Yes, you heard me. I thought of a bunch of other cases for Inu to handle. This is not the only one.
Didn't you notice how I wrote CASE #1 instead of CHAPTER #1? Yes there is a case number two! and
three, and four, and....well, you get the idea. I've already written Case #2 but I might edit it
and make it longer or change it or something. Well anyway, I just wanted to say that there are
multiple cases for Detective InuYasha .....SO DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT OVER YET! The fun is just
beginning, MWAHAHA! But, I'm gonna have to stop writing fics for a little while 'cause I gotta
study for my GED so mom can stop bugging me about it. Oh, one more thing. I just wanted to say
that this wasn't my origional version of the story. In the origional version I was the kidnapper
but I thought the ending sucked so I decided to try to change the story and that didn't work, so
I decided to just change who the kidnapper was.....I went through Sango, Kaede, Rin, Kagome, and
a few others but those didn't work either and then I thought of another one, Kagome's mom.
Seriously, who would suspect Kagome's mom? Anyway I asked my mom who would be the last person
that she would suspect to be the Bishounen Kidnapper and she said, "Um, Hojo?" and we just
couldn't stop laughing so I decided to use that one. So, thank you for the idea mom! Well anyway
don't forget to review! *Takes out hypnotic coin* You WILL review my fic.......flames are still
welcome......read....review.....read....review......
