Chapter 15

Spike didn't open his eyes immediately. He could sense someone in the room with him. Kneeling by the bed, as a matter of fact. He could hear a small heart, with a strong steady beat, and slightly uneven breathing close to his face. He knew he wasn't alone, but it was still a surprise when he opened his eyes and looked into a set of deep green ones.

"Good morning," Joyce greeted with a smile.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked slowly. He didn't know what to say to the kid. As a matter of fact, he wanted her to go away.

"Watching you sleep," she answered promptly, her smile never waverig.

Spike smiled tightly, "Well, why don't you toddle down and get breakfast."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"Already ate breakfast."

Spike blinked. He couldn't argue with that. "Well, why don't you go watch telly?" He was eager to get her to go away. He wanted to eat before he had to deal with everybody. Or at least have a chance to wake up.

"Not allowed to."

"You aren't allowed to watch telly?" What the hell was wrong with Buffy?

"Buffy says it'll rot my brain."

"Yeah, well, Buffy would know about rotted brains, wouldn't she?" Spike sighed, "What do you want?"

"Just want to watch you."

Spike sighed again and ran his hands through his hair. For some reason, that made her giggle. "What's so funny?"

"Your hair looks like a rat's nest."

Spike grimaced and tried to smooth his hair. "Yeah, haven't brushed it for awhile. Should I cut it?"

She nodded, "I can do it for you." Despite himself, Spike smiled at the thought of the little girl attacking him with scissors. The smiled faded as he imagined her poking his eyes out, or otherwise maiming him. "Maybe when you're older."

"Ok," she said, then jumped on the bed. Spike froze.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm tired of standing."

"Why don't you run down stairs and see if Bufy has any blood in the fridge."

Joyce wrinkled her nose, "Why do you want blood. That's disgusting."

Spike wondered if the girl knew about vampires. She should, Buffy wouldn't be stupid enough to keep her sheltered from the things that went bump in the night. Wait, this was Buffy. Maybe she would.

"That's what I eat, ducks."

"Ewww, yuck! Why do you eat blood?" Disgust was warring with curiosity in her young mind, and for the short time, curiosity was winning.

Well, if she didn't know about vampires already, now was as good a time as ever. "Because I'm a vampire."

"Like the Count on Sesame Street?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Vampires aren't real."

Spike's patience was wearing thin, and this was the final straw. She was old enough to know about what Aunt Buffy did in her spare time.

"Really? Then why do I have fangs?" He said as his face morphed. Almost instantly, she let out a head-splitting shriek.

"Buffy!" Spike was taken aback by the smell of fear radiating off her body, and his head was ringing with the sounds of her screams. Her face was covered in tears now, and she was desperately trying to get away, but she was tangled in the sheet. Spike was so rattled that he forgot to change back to his more charming, human visage.

"What's going on in here?" Buffy said, hurrying into the bedroom. As soon as she saw Joyce's tears, she scooped her up in her arms and pressed Joyce's head into her shoulder, shielding her from Spike. "What's wrong with you?" She demanded.

Spike looked confused, "I didn't do anything!"

"Spike, you scared her. Why did you vamp out?"

Spike allowed his face to change. "She said vamps don't exist."

"Why did you tell..

*** ".her?" Buffy demanded, her face flush with anger, but otherwise she seemed calm. Spike eyed her warily, looking for hidden stakes. "Are you mad at me? Do you hate me that much?"

"It had nothing to do with how much I currently hate you, Slayer."

"Then why did you tell her?"

"Because she knew something was wrong! You were scaring her, Buffy. You and the Watcher both, and she has the right to know."

"She's even more terrified now, Spike. She's freaking out. How could you do that?"

"How could you keep it from her? What's with you and living in denial, Slayer? Don't you know the truth will set you free?" Spike smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You aren't here because of Dawn, Slayer. You knew she would find out sooner or later. You're relieved I told her, because it saved you the trouble."

"Enlighten me, Spike, why am I here?"

"You're here because you blame me for what happened with Captain America."

"Could you call him Riley? Just once?"

"No. And I see you aren't denying this fact."

"Why shouldn't I blame you, Spike? He'd still be here if it weren't for you!"

"And do you really want that?"

"Yes."

"Of course, because Riley made you so happy that you had to shag the undead. Come to think of his affinity towards my kind, maybe you two were meant for each other."

She was shaking with rage now. "How dare you even talk about it? You don't know anything about us."

"Oh, don't I? Iknow that you didn't love him. I know that he hated you for being the Slayer. I know that he can't handle you being stronger than him, emotionally and physically. I didn't destroy the relationship, he did."

Buffy shook her head, "If it wasn't for me cheating on him, he never would have went to the vamp hoes."

Spike roughly grabbed her and dragged her close to his body. His face was a mere inch from hers. "Yeah, maybe that's true. But what you two had was never real."

"What, and you think what we have is?"

"It's a hell of a lot more real than any other relationship you had."

Buffy pulled away from him, "I loved Angel."

Spike shrugged, "Past tense, Slayer. And he didn't stick around, did he?"

Buffy winced at the mention of her past failure. "That was my fault too."

"Goddamnit Slayer! What the fuck is wrong with you? It wasn't your fault that Angel is bloody stupid. He left you because he couldn't stand how strong you are. You didn't need him to coddle you, you needed him to stand by you. And he couldn't do it because his ego is too big."

"How dare you talk about him like that? What do you know?"

"I know him a hell of a lot better than you ever will, Slayer."

"You knew Angelus."

"No, I know Angel. The sooner you understand that they're not different, the better off you will be."

"I can't stay here," Buffy said, looking away. "I have to get back to the Magic Box."

"That's ok, Slayer. Run away when things get heavy. God forbid you actually have a conversation."

"I don't want to talk to you Spike."

"You better start talking to somebody, Buffy." Spike didn't sound angry, and Buffy knew this fight was over. For now.

He stopped her at the door, "You wanna go patrolling tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll see you after sundown."

"Buffy."

"What?" She asked, annoyance written plainly on her face.

"I'm..

*** ".sorry," Spike muttered. "I didn't mean to scare her. But why doesn't she know about vampires?"

"Because she's too young."

"When did you plan on telling her?"

"I don't know, Spike! But I didn't expect to have such a graphic demonstration."

"Well, maybe she shouldn't be creeping around my room while I'm asleep. Why weren't you watching her?" He managed to infuse his voice with the appropriate amount of anger and impatience.

"I'm sorry, your majesty. She won't bother you anymore."

"Good," he said when she slammed the door. When the door shut though, his anger dissipated, and he realized that he was incredibly lonely.