A/N-Thank you for the reviews everybody! It helps to know where I stand with my readers.

Chapter 23

"Where have you been?" Buffy demanded.

Spike frowned, "What?"

"Where have you been?"

"Caught a game at the Alibi Room."

"You didn't tell me you were going out tonight," Buffy said.

"I didn't realize I had to inform you of my whereabouts, Princess."

Buffy grabbed Spike's arm and spun him around, "Don't walk away from me."

Spike shook free from her grasp. "What's wrong with you?"

"You," she responded coldly. "I told you we were patrolling tonight."

"And I told you I would patrol later."

"No, you'll patrol when I say you will."

Spike rolled his eyes and was about to respond when she punched in the face, hard enough to make his head snap back. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"Buffy go home." Spike took a deep breath and willed the rage seething inside of him to subside. He was not in the mood to get into a fight with Buffy tonight. He had been caught cheating and thrown out of the game, and then he got into a fight with a huge Yruf demon that didn't like the look of his face.

She punched him again. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Fine, I'll go home."

Buffy glared at him, "Meet me here tomorrow at 9:00. Don't be late."

Spike walked away, casually. 'She's probably just having a bad day,' he reasoned. 'She'll feel better after a decent night's..

***

"..sleep?" Giles asked.

Buffy smiled, "Yeah, we got enough. We're ready for whatever you've got."

Giles sighed, "Unfortunately, it's not much. Beyond the known myths of Hades, there isn't a lot of information. Apparently, he tends to keep to himself."

"Unless it's time to kidnap a child bride," Xander added.

"Yes, well, though that's what he's most known for, he's only done it that one time."

"Then what does he want with Joyce?" Buffy sighed; angry, frustrated, and frightened.

"There's the balance thing," Dawn said.

"What balance thing?" Buffy asked.

"Well, when Willow brought.."

***

..me back, Buffy thought. Never brought me back. The black rage, thick as tar, boiled and seethed inside of her, constantly. She saw the world through lenses of despair and anger. Her hands were constantly clenched into fists that just itched to be buried in Willow's smug face. Some days it was all she could do to keep herself from beating them all into bloody, disfigured corpses.

When she first came back, time with Spike helped alleviate her anger. Just being with him forced her to calm down considerably. She wasn't mad at him. He didn't hurt her. He just held her and listened to her angry diatribes. She could sense that he was furious with her friends for what they did, and that made her feel better too.

But lately, even Spike wasn't safe from her bitter frenzy of hate and disgust. The smallest thing could set her off. A part of her that could view the whole situation objectively begged her to stop yelling at him, hitting him, taking it out on him because he was strong enough to withstand it. But the rest of her just couldn't stop. She felt like she was out of control.

And maybe she was. She had no control over her life or her death. Her sister hated her. Her friends expected something from her, something that she wasn't even capable of giving them. Giles didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She had no control over anything.

Except Spike.

Buffy pasted a fake smile on her face. It was too wide and hurt her face. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. She just had to get through the next hour and then she could disappear into the shadows of the night that were darker than even her own soul. In the shadows she would find.

***

".Spike?"

"What is it Rupes?"

"Do you have time to talk?"

"A few seconds."

"What are you doing back in Sunnydale?" His voice was hard.

Spike shrugged, "Ask Buffy. She dragged me here."

"She said she found you in L.A."

"Yeah."

"She said you're different now."

"She sure seems to be saying a lot. Why don't you go talk to her about it?"

"I want to talk to you," Giles said.

Spike put down the axe he was sharpening and picked up a crossbow. "I'm busy. I told you we could talk once we got Joyce back."

"I just want to protect her," Giles explained tightly.

Spike looked up and arched his eyebrow, "Like you protected her ten years ago?"

"You don't know what you are talking about, Spike."

"I know you abandoned her. I know she needed you. I know you have no idea what she went through."

Giles took a step closer, clearly upset. "You left her too."

"I left to get something that would help her," Spike said, reverting his attention back to the weapons. "Which is more than you can say."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You have no idea what she was going through." Spike raised his eyes without lifting his head. "You have no idea how close to the dark she was. You have no idea how dangerous and cold she had become." His voice dropped an octave, "She lost it, Ripper, and you weren't here to help."

***

..her. That's all he wanted to do. But lately she had grown distant and cold, and he really didn't know what she wanted from him. If he wasn't waiting for her when she came calling, she would pound on him until she worked off her frustration and impatience. He normally didn't mind taking the hits. He always enjoyed the physical aspect of their relationship, from violence to sex. But this was different. She was different.

The sex was different. When they had it at all. She always put off his advances. She controlled when they had it, where they had it, and how it was. Again, he didn't mind her being in charge, but each coupling was cold and joyless. There was a fierce determination on her face, like she was trying to get a job done. Like she was trying to prove something to herself or to him.

But he didn't know what to do for her. When Dru was depressed or angry, he would distract her with a new toy or sparkly jewelry. When Harmony was depressed or angry, he didn't care. He sighed. Maybe it would be enough for her if he just continued to be here for her. Watch her back. She would work through this, and he would stay to support her.

"Spike!" Buffy yelled, throwing open the door to the crypt.

He stood up, carefully schooling his face. He didn't want to piss her off too early. " 'ullo Slayer. Ready to patrol?"

"Not tonight. I came by to talk to you."

"What's up love?"

"Don't come over to my house anymore," Buffy said simply.

"What?"

"I don't want you over. Just stay away from my friends and family."

Spike sought her face for clues. He racked his brains, trying to figure out if he had done anything to piss her off. "Why?"

"Because I said so, that's why." She glared at him with icy eyes, daring him to protest. The way she stood and the tension surrounding her guaranteed that if he questioned her again, he would pay for it.

"What about Dawn?"

He wasn't disappointed. She hit him once, connecting with his right eye. He could already feel it began to swell. "I don't want you to spend so much time with her anymore."

"I took care of her all summer," Spike pointed out. He got a bruised left cheek to match his black eye.

"Well, now I'm here to take care of her."

Spike's arms hung at his side, his hands curled into fists. He wanted to hit her back. If she hit him in the face again, he would hit her back, and damn the consequences. He could live with the chip pain, and she didn't appear to have a stake on her at the moment. Buffy noticed his fists and the anger on his face.

"Are you going to him me?" she taunted. "Go ahead, try it."

"Don't push me, Slayer." His voice was low, barely controlled.

"Come on, Spike. Lay it on me. Here, I'll give you a freebie." She held her arms akimbo, leaving her body open for an attack.

Spike reached for her, deciding to suffuse the information with a different kind of physical attack. But she resisted him and slugged him in the mouth. He snapped, and slapped her across the face, hard enough to make her ear ring. He immediately clutched her head, expecting a bolt of pain, but nothing happened.

Buffy was watching him, her mouth agape. "You're chip."

Spike smiled, but it was more of snarl. "Doesn't work on you, Slayer. What's wrong with you?"

She was still in shock when he swung and connected with her stomach. "Huh, Slayer? What's wrong with you?"

She doubled over, catching her breath. When she finally straightened, Spike was standing in front her, waiting patiently. "You wanna fight, Slayer? Let's do it then."

***

"You weren't here to help her, and I didn't know how."

"You weren't any help at all," Giles said coldly, "she didn't get better until after you left.

"Yeah," he muttered, "I noticed."