The Quidditch team is waiting in the common room. I'm sitting on the sofa with Hermione. Fred and George are bitching as usual.
"It's nearly four. Where's our Seeker?" says Fred.
"Fred, be reasonable. The Seeker has a very busy social life. We must accommodate." says George.
"It's so inconsiderate to have to rearrange our schedule for that." says Josh Brenner.
"Well, it's either that or letting Slytherin have the Quidditch Cup." I say.
"Our brother has a point." says George.
"We could train a replacement. Hey Hermione!" says Fred.
"Sorry, I'd be too busy." says Hermione. I've got my right arm about her. My left hand is stroking her hair.
There's crashing noise coming from the stairwell. A scarlet streak, Harry, emerges from the stairs. He flies into the common room on his Firebolt and is dressed in his Quidditch robes.
Harry tightly circles the room and says, "Let's go!"
Harry flies out of the open window, circles the tower, flies back in. He circles the room and asks, "Are any of you coming?" He flies out toward the Quidditch field.
"He's nuts!" says Alicia. She is stunned that anybody would dare to fly out a tower window like that. Sensibly, the rest of the team exits using the portrait hole.
"Guess his social life is healthy." says Fred.
I snicker. "Probably."
We approach the Quidditch pitch. Madam Hooch is very irritated. Harry appears to be zooming around.
Hooch complains, "That is so irresponsible. We have demeantors in Hogsmeade and other unfriendly people about. Mr. Potter is too exposed like that."
"Dunno. At that speed, I don't think anybody could get him." I remark. Hooch darts me a mean look.
We watch Harry zoom about. I can tell that he applied that speed up grease. He practiced a number of nerve wrecking feints on the lake. After a minute, he sees us. He heads straight for us! We all duck as he pulls up at the last minute. After a lap about the stadium, he finally lands near us.
Hooch scolds, "Mr. Potter, that was extremely dangerous! I should scrub the practice!"
I protest, "We need to practice for the upcoming matches and cup!"
Alicia pitches in, "The team will deal with our misbehaving Seeker."
Hooch says, "Very well. This will still be reported." Hooch retreats to the stands. Lupin is there and watches the practice.
I say, "Seems that you had fun today Harry."
Harry replies, "It was great! Ron, I'll tell you about it later."
After Quidditch Harry walks with me back to the castle about seven. We enter the crowded Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione follows Harry and me up to our empty dormitory. Harry and I start to strip.
"How was today?" Hermione asks.
"It was fabulous!" says Harry.
"I could figure that out from your flying." I say.
Harry explains the events at the school. His meeting of Derek Spaath. The 'incidents' with Derek. He describes Chemistry and Algebra. He plays dodge ball? He explained the incident in the locker room. He explains Skeeter and Fudge poking around!
"That explains the article in today's Daily Prophet." says Hermione, waving the newspaper.
Harry sees enough to ask, "Mind if I borrow that tonight?"
"You're spending more time?" I ask.
"Certainly." says Harry.
Harry proceeds to discuss the remainder of the day including Health, Drama, and the bully incident after school.
Hermione says, "Derek Spaath's always been a jerk. While I'm glad you got to him, you flouted the decree!"
"Being attacked qualifies as an emergency." I say. Harry agrees with this.
Just then, George bursts into the room. He sees Harry and I naked with Hermione in the room.
"A double banger?" George asks.
"You would not understand." says Hermione.
"Before you leave George, you need to disqualify Eric Miller." says Harry.
George asks, "Why him? He is six years older than you."
Harry says, "And he has seen the correct wager. Feel like being cleaned out?"
"I get your drift." says George.
"Now, please leave George." I say.
Reluctantly, George leaves. I jump through the shower. After being dressed, Harry, Hermione, and I head to the Great Hall for dinner. Half way down, McGonagall catches us.
McGonagall says, "Mr. Potter, it has come to my attention that you flew out a tower window and were flying irresponsibly before Quidditch practice. Madam Hooch was very upset by that. You could have broken your neck or gotten killed."
"Yeah, guess it was bad judgment." says Harry.
"Well, your blatant disregard for safety will cost you twenty points and a detention to be served tomorrow evening." says McGonagall. We descend into the Entrance Hall. Malfoy is smiling.
Harry appears in my bedroom about nine, as usual. He seems to have braved the trip with just a wand, his underwear, and a newspaper. Of course with his wardrobe strewn about my room, that's not an issue. He sets his wand next to his wallet, he left that here earlier. He tosses his underwear onto my desk chair. I'm sitting naked on my bed.
Harry turns to me smiling mischievously and leaps. He lands his feet on both sides of me and is crouched looking at my face. He kneels and hugs me tightly and kisses. After a minute, he brings his head back.
"Good evening Gia, my sweetheart. Having fun?" he says grinning.
I reply, "It's better now. You did startle me, bit."
"Sorry, just wanted a surprise." he says.
I smile and say, "It's okay, you're full of them. Rotten luck Derek had today."
Harry says, "Luck had nothing to do with it. He was insulting you."
I kiss and say, "You little devil. Derek will be in an awful mood Monday, that's for certain."
"He can't injure you while Snuffles is protecting you. Oh, speaking of today, here's the article Skeeter wrote."
He hands me a newspaper, a Daily Prophet. I see the moving picture of me and Celeste in the girl's bathroom. Harry sits next to me. I read the article.
=== ARTICLE ===Recent attacks by Death Eaters have Muggles running scared. An escalation in attacks on Muggles have been increasing for most of the year. The ever ignorant Muggles are running frightened and scared by these random attacks. Yours truly has taken the opportunity to interview various Muggles for their perspective. In the small London suburb of Niogate, ordinary teenagers are having their innocent lives destroyed and torn apart by these acts.
I interviewed many ordinary Muggles regarding the interference these attacks have had on their lives. Today, I highlight the effects on two ordinary Muggle girls. Too scared to give their full names, these girls are known as Gia and Celeste. Not unlike witches, they too like to gossip, dream of romance, study, and have fun. Celeste is after a boy name Harold. Evidenced by her ring, Gia is heavily involved in a boy named Derek.
Gia said that she "was so scared. Like after the attack at the theater, Derek and I avoid that now. However, even home isn't safe with all those gas explosions."
Celeste said "Harold and I were spending the night at my place. The neighbor's house exploded with a bang, all dead."
As you the reader can see, these attacks are affecting the lives of Muggles. These two Muggles were attending school on a Saturday due to these attacks. When asked, Cornelius Fudge said, "These Muggle attacks will die down once we deal with those practicing the Dark Arts."
Clearly, Fudge is referring to his expected triumph over You-Know-Who. Whether it is he or Harry Potter, the reign of You-Know-Who will be short.
================I protest, "What? I never said that."
Harry says, "That is Skeeter. She twists every sentence, every fact, and makes stuff up. All she cares about is ratings. Understand why I avoided her?"
"Yeah with her writing this crap."
"It's best not to give her an interview again. I made that mistake. Anyways, I wouldn't today. I mean, if she saw me, we'd be on that front page right now. That would be enough information for the Death Eaters to kill you."
"Snuffles?"
"Snuffles is good, but not perfect. Hopefully, he would be able to get you to safety. It's better not to test that."
"So, when will you reveal our relationship to everyone else?"
Harry says, "Gia, this is very delicate. I would love to send in a photograph to the Daily Prophet about this. However, the secrecy is helping to protect you."
"So when?" I ask.
"When the secrecy no longer helps. So, want to come to the Quidditch final in three weeks?"
"Sure."
He says, "I enjoyed spending your school day with you."
"You did brighten my day." I say.
"Thanks. You brighten mine. That detention proves that."
"Detention?" I ask.
"Apparently, the teachers don't like me flying out the window. I've got a detention tomorrow evening, so I might be a bit late."
"Why did you fly out the window?"
"Dunno, just felt great this afternoon before the Quidditch practice. So I flew out the window instead of walking out of the castle. It was worth it."
"Which window?" I ask.
"Oh, just the one in the tower. Some hundred feet up. That's safe."
"Just promise that you won't break your neck."
"Sure." he says.
"Have you read that booklet Mr. Miller gave you earlier?" I ask.
"Not yet."
"Care to read it now?"
He summons the sex ed booklet over. We spend the evening pouring over it. By the eleven, Harry has it memorized.
He says, "That was useful. A bit more thorough then the lesson at Hogwarts."
I say, "That's what we studied this last week at school."
He looks into my eyes and says "Now know the names of every bit of you."
"So, when will you risk sex?" I ask.
"When we're ready." he says. "Don't have anything in mind, if that's what you're wondering."
Harry walks into the Gryffindor Common Room. He sees Hermione and me sitting at a table working. As usual, Quidditch practice will be this afternoon. Alicia likes to use Sunday mornings for other things, something to do with a Sabbath. Harry walks over and sets some books down onto the table. Harry hands some books to Hermione and me.
Harry says, "You might want to study these before the summer."
I look at the titles and the books are Conversational French, Conversations German, and Conversational Italian.
Hermione asks sarcastically, "Planning a trip? You had better put these away before everybody knows."
We hide the books right before some people wander past. Harry opens his The Romantic Wizard.
Harry says, "I found an interesting spell. While neither Ron or I are ready to use it yet, this looks like it could be useful. I don't see any real drawback to it."
I read it and whisper, "A magical condom. This allows for perfect sex but it prevents pregnancies and STDs. Warning, a Wizard's magic will temporarily vanish. After use, magic will vanish within two hours. The effect will last at least twenty four hours but not more than forty eight. "
"Nice find Harry." I say.
"You'd lose your magic for a day!" says Hermione.
"Small price, I wouldn't mind." I say.
"Not before Quidditch or a Charms final." she says.
"True."
George looks over my shoulder and sees the spell. George says, "That's a nice spell. Are you going to use it soon?"
"Bug off!" I say.
George's rapidly filling bladder pressures him to scamper away.
It's a bit early for Harry, but I pop into Gia's bedroom. She's a bit startled to see me.
Gia asks, "Ron? What are you doing here? Where's Harry?"
I reply "Harry went to detention a couple of hours ago. It'll be a while until he's done. Anyways, I came to talk to you about him."
Gia asks, "What's there to talk about?"
I sit on the bed and face her.
I say, "A lot. I know he loves you greatly. I was wondering how bad his nightmares are."
Gia says, "Oh, you know? He has them occasionally. Usually gets over it quickly."
"Guess those are improving there."
Gia says, "They are not as frequent, that's for certain. If he loves me greatly as you claim, why is he unwilling to have sex?"
I say, "Gia wait for him, it will be worth it. You realize what happened to the last people he loved? His parents?"
"He mentioned the murders."
"He's does not want to lose you like he did them. Just wait a bit and you'll like the results. I've known him personally since we started Hogwarts. He's always been loyal and trustworthy to me. Neither of us make friends easily."
"Now that I have his resume..."
"Just give him the time to become ready."
"When?"
"Dunno exactly. My hunch is sooner rather than later. However, don't hold me to it."
"So, what could I do for him?"
"Just keep doing what you've been doing. Gia, sex should not be the only focal point of the relationship. Sure, it will become important to Harry, but that's not his main focus."
"So, have you had luck with Hermione?"
"I don't call it 'luck'. Instead, like Harry, I'm not yet ready." I say.
"Same reason?"
"No. Gia, these relationships are adventures in a way. I don't want to leave Harry behind. Kinda fun that way."
"Is he holding back for that?"
"No. He's genuinely not ready. I won't feel ready until he is."
"Does Hermione know this?"
"She knows that I'm not I need to get back to Hogwarts. I told Hermione I'd be only a few minutes."
She kisses me briefly on the cheek. She says, "Ron, thanks. When does Harry need to be back for classes?"
"Classes start at nine, so he can leave here at quarter to eight and still make it, if his stuff is ready at Hogwarts."
"He'll have breakfast here." she says.
"Oh, I wasn't here tonight."
"Why not?"
"Harry would get mad if he thought I was interfering." I say.
"Trying to play Cupid, eh?"
I work the Portkey and land in the empty dormitory. I can tell that the smell from the Dungbomb is still lingering. I open all the windows and exit. I enter the Common Room.
Seamus complains, "Ron, why did you have to drop a Dungbomb?"
I ignore him and snuggle next to Hermione on the sofa.
Late Sunday evening, Harry pops into my bedroom. He sets his Portkey and wand down. He's already naked. Fortunately my door is already closed and Snuffles is downstairs. He looks at me. I'm sitting naked on my bed. He climbs onto the bed. He spreads his legs and sits cross legged. He is staring into my eyes. I can tell that he's aroused.
I ask, "So, you don't want to really fuck right now?"
He replies, "No, I don't. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I'm not ready."
I ask, "So how far?"
"Dunno. Is fucking right now that important to you?"
"No."
"Brian mentioned yesterday that you are a bit insecure."
"He did? And you're talking about me behind my back!"
He asks, "No. He just mentioned it. Do you think that sex is all that I'm interested in?"
"No."
"I think I have you figured out though. Brian and Celeste were a bit helpful in this. You don't want to lose me and you think sex is the only thing that will keep me. Am I close?"
I have to admit, he's got me. I say, "Sorta. Actually, yes. That is the common wisdom about boys. No sex, no relationship."
He says, "There is a relationship between us. We'll have sex when we're ready."
"Fine." I say flatly.
"Gia, you also want to play and explore with sex, right?"
"Yes."
"If I were ready, I'd fuck you now if you wanted."
"That's sweet. So, let's see what you are ready for."
"Okay" he says.
We play for the evening. I give him a blow-job. His tongue stimulates my sweet spot. At the end, the wide grin on his face was worth it.
Harry says, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
I reply, "Harry, each of encounters should be different. It's an art."
His grin goes even wider and we fall asleep.
Harry enters the Potion classroom and passes Professor Snape. Harry says, "Good morning Professor Snape."
Snape ignores this. Harry, Ron, and Hermione take their normal places at a rear table.
Snape says, "With recent cheating, Granger will exchange places with Miss. Parkinson. Mr. Malfoy, sit between Weasley and Potter."
Malfoy sits between Harry and Ron. He whips, "This is your faults, isn't it?"
Harry snaps, "You know Snape. To him if I'm not flunking, I must be cheating."
Snape hears this and says, "Potter, I know cheating when I see it."
Malfoy says, "That's the only way Potter can manage his schedule."
Ron says, "Professor, then you should be able to tell that Harry is not cheating."
Snape collects the essays. Snape reads over Harry's essay. Snape burns it. Snape says, "Potter, this level of academic misconduct will not be tolerated."
Harry replies, "Professor, so you're saying that I shouldn't bother with my essays?"
Snape says, "Potter, take the time to write them yourself."
Harry protests, "Professor, I did write that essay myself. If that is unacceptable to you, then you should flunk me."
Snape says, "Done."
Malfoy is snickering.
Harry whips, "Malfoy, you are the teacher's pet. That does not mean this is funny. Unlike you, I have not attempted the Muggle Killing required to pass Potions."
Snape says, "Potter, twenty points taken. Muggle Killings are not required." Snape walks back to his desk.
Malfoy says, "Potter better watch your back carefully. Rumors of attempted Muggle Killings is just that, rumors."
Harry is about to challenge this. Ron says, "Harry, it's just a rumor, right?"
Malfoy points his wand at Harry's cauldron. It melts.
Snape shouts, "Potter, another twenty points."
Harry starts packing his bag. He leaves the mess on the table.
Snape asks, "Potter, where do you think you're doing? You are supposed to be brewing a potion."
Harry replies, "Professor, you've seen fit to flunk me. Why should I care about the damn potion?"
Snape replies, "Ten points gone. You know why you're flunking ... where are you going?"
Harry is nearly at the door. He turns back to Snape and says, "Professor Snape, you are flunking me because I am the son of James Potter. There is no hope that you'll ever pass me. Staying here is a waste of my time. Therefore, I'm leaving. Have a nice day."
Snape says, "Another ten points gone."
At that moment, Snape is distracted by Neville melting a cauldron. Harry slips out the door.
Friday, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in Transfiguration, the last class for that day. Everyone gets up to leave.
McGonagall calls out, "Mr. Potter, may I have a word with you?"
Harry approaches the desk. Ron and Hermione linger at the back of the classroom.
McGonagall says, "Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, please wait outside."
Ron and Hermione exit the classroom and close the door.
Harry says, "Yes Professor?"
McGonagall says, "Mr. Potter, your work in the past couple of weeks has improved substantially."
"Thank you Professor."
"I am pleased to see this improvement. However, Professor Snape has raised an important issue. He is concerned that you are cheating to improve your marks."
"I am not cheating. I have been doing my homework in the evenings."
"While maintaining an active social life?"
"Professor Dumbledore and I discussed the situation before the holiday. He made certain accommodations to help me to focus better on my studies. It's working."
"I'm not aware of any accommodations." says McGonagall.
"No offense Professor, but you don't need to know about them." says Harry.
"Still, these recent essays are better than you've ever produced before. Do you understand why cheating is a possibility?" says McGonagall.
"Thanks for the compliment. Over the Easter holiday I did get some pointers on writing good essays. I'm glad to see you've noticed the improvements."
"Now, wait outside and let Miss Granger in. I wish to speak with her." says McGonagall.
Harry walks out and Hermione enters, closing the door.
McGonagall lays out an essay on the desk and obscures the name.
"Read it." says McGonagall.
Hermione reads the essay with interest. "Interesting, I didn't think of that point ... here's another ... quite thorough. Who wrote it? Malfoy?"
"Apparently, Mr. Potter. Fancy that." says McGonagall to Hermione's surprise.
"Nice to see the plan's working." says Hermione.
"What plan?"
"Oh, the one pressuring Harry to improve his marks. The penalty of failure is a bit severe for him."
"Penalty?"
"You've heard the rumors. I won't say who."
McGonagall says, "Well, his writings really improved. Professor Snape is very suspicious and so am I."
Hermione replies, "No, Harry is s not cheating if that's what you're implying. I did walk in on him finishing this last Monday."
"All three of you have improved your writings."
"Well, somebody gave us some useful writing tips over the holiday. You know, outlining, composure, that sort of thing." says Hermione.
"Send in Mr. Weasley and wait outside." says McGonagall.
Hermione walks out and Ron walks in.
"Mr. Weasley, when did Mr. Potter write this essay?" asks McGonagall.
Ron says, "The evening after you assigned it, last Monday the fifteenth. I did mine about same time, why?"
"When does Mr. Potter anticipate working on the one assigned today?" she asks.
"This evening most likely. Are you accusing him of cheating?"
"That possibility has been raised as a reason for his sudden improvement."
"No he has not been cheating. He's just found proper motivation, that's all. Harry's been working much more efficiently since the holiday."
"His sudden irresponsibility? Flying out a tower window is extremely dangerous."
"Same source, the irrational behavior will pass after a while."
"And this source?"
"Think about it. We've been using his nutsack to pressure Harry."
"Which one?"
"Sorry Professor, I'm not saying."
McGonagall decides not to press it. Instead, she goes to the door and lets in Harry and Hermione.
"Mr. Potter, as the three of you guessed, accusations of you possibly cheating have surfaced recently. When are you going to work on today's assignment?" says McGonagall.
Harry says, "Once we get to the Gryffindor Common Room after Quidditch. Why?"
McGonagall says, "I'll observe. That is the only way to really quash this matter."
Ron says, "So long as you don't mind our discussions. Harry, Josh stopped by, practice has been canceled for the day."
Harry says, "Well, Professor, if you wish to observe, I suggest you follow us to the Gryffindor Tower. I'll do your essay first, assuming that the book and my notes are sufficient."
McGonagall grabs her bag bag and she follows the trio to the Gryffindor Tower. They enter the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sit at their usual study table. McGonagall sits at the table, pulls out items from her bag, and starts doing work herself.
Harry starts ruffling through his bag and his The Romantic Wizard fumbles out. McGonagall smiles a bit at this.
Harry starts reading his Transfiguration Notes and book. He sketches the outline and scribbles many notes onto it. Finally, he starts writing the essay. Harry and Ron ignore McGonagall's presence.
Ron asks, "So Harry, she's really getting to you, isn't she?"
Harry says, "That is past tense. She has already gotten to me. It's certainly an incentive."
"Yeah, used to take you, what? Half a day for a crappy essay?"
"Well, can't spend any time with her if I did that." says Harry.
"So, any plans?"
"Well, there's that parade on Sunday the fifth. That looks interesting." says Harry.
Hermione says, "That parade? You'll definitely find that interesting."
"Brian said that last night." says Harry.
"Have you used that spell yet?" asks Ron.
Harry says, "Ron! You know better than to ask about that. Besides, you pointed out that it would be a bad idea to try it for a while. At least before the Quidditch Cup."
Finally, Harry finishes the Transfiguration essay. He sets it aside and proceeds to start on DADA. Ron finishes his Transfiguration essay as well. Hermione finishes her essay fifteen minutes after Harry.
McGonagall picks up the essays and reads them. She says, "Impressive Mr. Potter. An hour to produce a coherent and quality essay. You have improved. Well, that settles the issue, I'll keep these."
Hermione protests, "What if we need to change them?"
McGonagall says, "What? You want to ruin a fine essay? These are well written and correctly address the question." She whispers, "And, these get perfect scores."
Hermione doesn't object as McGonagall gets up and walks out the door.
Ron says, "Plus, we don't have to worry about losing them." Ron says to Hermione.
After an hour, they finish the DADA essay. Hermione runs up to her dormitory to get something.
"Tonight?" asks Ron.
"Yeah, they're in my trunk." says Harry.
"Good thing it's not being inspected." says Ron.
"Scandalous!" says Harry.
Hermione returns with her Arithmacy book and notes. Dobby delivers dinner.
Harry and Ron work on their Divination assignment. They play with the Tarot cards for a bit and then they write a bunch of quality and informative bullshit for it.
They start working on their Care of Magical Creatures work when Seamus, Dean, and Neville enter through the Portrait Hole. They sit next to Harry, Ron and Hermione. They continue to bitch about their homework load. They sit next to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
Seamus is looking at his Charms notes from the other day, and fumes. He exclaims loudly, "I can't understand any of this!" He looks at his Transfiguration notes and says, "At least I can read these."
Dean turns to Ron and asks,, "Have you done the Transfiguration yet?"
"Yes, several hours ago." says Ron.
"Can I have a look at your essay?" asks Dean.
"No." says Ron.
"Why not?" asks Dean.
"Ouch!" says Harry as his Monster Book of Monsters bit him.
"McGonagall already has it." says Ron.
The quiver of Harry's book is unmistakable and the book lays open.
"Why did you do that?" asks Seamus.
"She wanted proof that Harry wasn't cheating." says Ron.
"Why did she think that?" asks Dean.
"Haven't you noticed him actually doing his work? The teachers are noticing the sudden improvement. Of course, Snape thinks the worst." says Ron.
"How about yours Harry?" asks Dean.
"Same as Ron, McGonagall has it." says Harry.
"Mine too." says Hermione.
"I don't have to worry about it until next week!" says Ron.
"I don't see how you're able to do all of this and keep up Harry." grumbles Neville.
"Incentive." says Harry as he finishes the reading of the material for Hagrid, and starts an outline.
"You've got classes, lengthy essays, extensive Quidditch practice, and an engaging social life. How'd you manage it?" asks Seamus.
"Dunno, just do." says Harry.
Ron says, "Seamus, if you remove the essays, he's always had the time. Now that we're got him working more efficiently, the essays aren't a problem. Neville, still working on your Potions essay?"
"Yeah, have you finished it?" says Neville.
"Yep, did it Monday evening." says Ron.
"You bastard!" says Dean.
"No, Ron is not a bastard. His parents were married long ago." says Hermione.
"Argh!" exclaims Lavender, who just joined the table along with Pavarti.
"Harry, you seem to be wicked to Snape lately. What's up?" asks Pavarti.
"I say 'Good Morning' and that's wicked?" asks Harry.
Dean says, "Exactly, nobody has had the guts to do that before. Awfully funny though."
"Still Snape manages to dock us points for it." says Lavender.
Ron says, "He always knocks points off. If Harry died in Potions, he'd still dock points for it. Snape's just plain mean, nothing new about that."
Harry finishes his essay and says, "Just ignore Snape. He's a fucking son of a bitch. All those Slytherins are."
Neville says, "Easy for you to say." Harry gets out his Useful Storage book and starts to read it.
Hermione says, "Neville, don't let him get to you. Snape is making you lousy at Potions. He's definitely a rotten teacher."
Harry says, "Do not give them the pleasure. They enjoy making us miserable."
Ron looks at his watch asks, "Harry, it's eight. Aren't you going?"
Harry says, "Not for a while, she's busy."
"Which one?" asks Seamus.
"Harry, can you save one for me?" asks Neville.
"Boys!" exclaims Hermione, she's reading the Zoology: A Boring Guide, the boring version.
Dean looks at the book and asks, "What is so interesting about the earthworm?"
"So Harry, who is she?" asks Pavarti.
Harry says, "Didn't you read Skeeter's article last fall? That's why I'm not telling."
"Did any of you understand the Transfiguration assignment?" asks Lavender.
"Certainly." says Ron.
"Have you done the essay?" asks Pavarti.
"Yes, and no you cannot read it." says Ron
Lavender says, "Like we'd want to read either yours or Harry's, we'd flunk. Hermione?"
Hermione says, "Sorry, I can't. McGonagall has already collected mine."
Pavarti looks very concerned and asks, "She has? When?"
Harry says, "Earlier. She collected mine, Ron's, and Hermione's when we finished them. Snape thinks I'm cheating or something."
Alicia walks by and asks, "With your marks? Who are you copying, Peeves?"
Ron says, "Nobody. McGonagall just wanted proof to clear Harry. So she observed us working."
Harry is reading his book and mutters "Fascinating."
"What, how to transfigure a slug?" asks Seamus.
Harry flips a page and says, "No, not that."
Ron pokes fun at Seamus by saying, "How to reorganize a closet."
"So Harry have you been laid yet?" asks Lavender.
Harry exclaims, "What? That's none of your business!"
"We're trying to figure out why flew out the window over there." says Pavarti.
"Yeah, you must've been nuts." says Neville.
Harry asks, "Why should I always walk out to the Quidditch field?"
"It's safer." says Seamus.
Harry says, "So? I've flown to hundreds of feet, why should I worry about the hundred feet to the ground of the window?"
"It's an utter drop off, that's why." says Dean.
"Are you just too chicken to try it?" asks Harry.
Pavarti says, "Stop this. We know where it'd lead and we girls don't want to watch it."
With this, Hermione, Lavender, and Pavarti get up and head up to their dormitory, presumably to talk.
Seamus says, "So, who among us have slept with a girl? I'm aware of myself, Ron, and Dean. Harry, I assume has. Have you Neville?"
"No such luck." moans Neville.
"Want us to help?" asks Dean.
Neville jokes "No, I do not want to sleep in a bed with you two.
Harry says, "Seriously Neville. Just concentrate on finding a nice girlfriend. After that, it's much easier."
"Speaking from experience?" asks Seamus.
Harry, trying to get out of this, looks at Ron's watch. He says "Um, Ron, come on."
To the dismay of Seamus and Dean, Ron and Harry traipse up to the dormitory.
