Chapter 1: "Storming Koopa Bros. Fortress" or "Gramps" because he told me I could stay up later if I named a chapter after him or "Paravillintiniay" because of the cool song in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own a few of my self-invented characters, like Luigi's camera spy, Goombigi, and, of course, myself. Nothing else. Especially not my favorite band Relient K's "Gibberish" song.

Author's Note: I'M BAD ABOUT UPDATING!! SORRY! On a lighter note, this chapter is so funny and silly that I've completely dropped the current status!

Review Responses: GumballMachine: *grins* Thanks!

Pickled-Pickles: How many of my fics have you read?

When we last left our story, Luigi's camera spy was turned into a pile of ashes with a pair of little blinking eyeballs, just like a cartoon character. So we're going back to Luigi.

Luigi and Goombigi walked into Toad Town. "Hey, Luigi!" a Toad shouted. "The Castle's been uprooted, and Moron-er, Mario's missing!"

"He is?" Luigi asked, wondering what his wimpy brother was doing now. "Yep, since just after the Castle went up, up and away. I also saw some guy in an eggshell run through town in the direction of Pleasant Path," the Toad informed him.

"Can you tell me-" Luigi was interrupted by Goombigi, who said, "How to grow armpit hair?" The Toad laughed, and the laugh turned into a cackle, and the Toad turned into.

(Insert scary, ominous, evil music here)

some homeless guy snoring on a big cardboard box. "Hey, wake up, man!" yelled Goombigi. His only response was sleep-mumbling. Then Luigi decided he would just leave him alone for a while, so he jumped over the homeless guy, who suddenly disappeared into thin air and hollered, (good grief, I'm running out of synonyms for "shouted".this must be a loud chapter.) "Get outta here, ya creep!"

"Well, SCREW YOU!!!" Luigi retorted. Then suddenly an evil Science teacher called Mrs. Booza ran up and said, "I told you not to say that again, so you get a detention now!" "Now?!?" Ignorant American Army CO Kyle asked, alarmed. "Yes, now!" "But it can't be now! I'm in the middle of a chapter!!" Luigi had an idea.uh-oh."Why don't you use your super author powers to immediately transport her to a strip club?" Everyone else, including Kyle, shouted, "NO!!" "Better idea: I'll trap her in a 'Kid Rock' music video for all of eternity!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Kyle announced. Immediately, the sinister Science teacher disappeared to "American Bad @$$"

"Now that we're done with that, I guess we should go to Shooting Star Summit," said Luigi. "Are you sure? I thought we were supposed to go to the Hailfire Peaks and beat up the two wimpy dragons," Goombigi replied. "You blockhead! You've been playing Banjo-Tooie by Rareware for Nintendo 64 too much, haven't you?" "I guess.I just got it the other day, so-" "WHAT?!? It IS cool, but IT'S ALMOST TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD!! WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE IT ALREADY?!?"

"It is? Oh, well. Let's go." "We've BEEN going as we talked." "Really? I never noticed." "Do you-"

Boom!

Goombigi walked straight into a conveniently-located brick wall. "I guess he DOESN'T notice anything," Luigi laughed as he ran into Eldstar. "Ha-ha! Look who's talking!" Goombigi retorted. Then Eldstar spoke.

"I'm so glad you're here. All I need to tell you is SAVE US SEVEN and SAVE THE PRINCESS and SAVE THE STAR ROD and BEAT UP BOWSER!! Kyle knows the rest." With that, Eldstar disappeared. "Um.okay." Luigi murmured. "Maybe I should join your party," suggested Kyle. "I know what's going to happen, and I have super author powers." "Um.okay." "Cool!" said Goombigi.

Kyle joined the party! He can attack any single enemy with his AK47, go on a crazy rampage at all enemies with his Raging Energy, or paralyze all enemies by using his Boomerang-Hat! His (v) (that's the best thing I could do for bottom-C) ability is to hit enemies or switches from long range with the sniper scope on the AK47, or teleport Luigi and his partners anywhere with his super author-powers! "Um.okay." Luigi said.

Suddenly, they were in Koopa Village. "Um.okay." repeated Luigi. "Whoa! Can you teach me that?" said Goombigi. "'Fraid not, but I can give you your Super Block-abilities early," said Kyle. Instantly, Goombigi got- "What the-hey, stop, stupid Fuzzy!" his hat stolen. He chased after the Fuzzy that stole it. This happened at the same time that he got his new abilities. One of them (not in the game) was "Hungry? Grab a Snick-ers, I means an enemy."

He ran around chasing the dumb thing until he caught it, took his hat back, and ate it. "Hairy, yet satisfying," he said, pleased with himself. Kyle and Luigi just stared. "Um.okay." Kyle had an idea.uh-oh, his ideas are even more dangerous than Luigi's."Why don't you eat ALL the Fuzzies in the village?" "Coooool!" shouted Goombigi as he ran off for more morsels.

Soon he had devoured all the Fuzzies in the village. Luigi and Kyle found him talking to a blue-shelled Koopa. "Dude, did you come here with anyone or just you?" "Actually, I came with Luigi, and he has to save the world again. No big deal," replied Goombigi.

"You was just eatin' them things, and I thought, 'Man, he gonna get me my shell back! I'm a big enough loser as it is, and I don't need to have my shell bein' gone!'" Then Luigi walked over. "Coo! Can I stick witchoo?" Luigi put on his best Irish/Scottish accent and said, "Whaat?" "Can I stick witchoo? Please!" "Why?" "Please! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" "You're right, I don't. Now get out of here!"

Then Shrek and the donkey came up behind them. "We don't like it a whole lot when people imitate us. Right donkey?" The donkey didn't respond right away. "Right, donkey?" Shrek asked a second time, a little louder. "Huh? What? Uh, whatchoo say?" "JUST SAY 'RIGHT'!!" came Shrek's ferocious reply. "Uh, right." "See? Now stop it before I have to scare you!" "Guys," suggested Kyle, "I think we better stop." "Um.okay." "Wanna get to the first level?" asked Kyle. "Um.okay." "How come you keep saying 'Um.okay.'" "Um.I dunno." "Well, let's go. Culpadabunkeydunkle!!" Kyle exclaimed the magic word, and the three suddenly appeared in the Koopa Bros. Fortress.

For some odd reason, the place was deserted. Not a thing in sight. "Hmm, I wonder where everyone went?" Luigi murmured. "They're at Bowser's Castle showing him their super-duper move," said Kyle casually. Luigi froze. "H- how do YOU know?" he stammered. Kyle grinned. "I've got the script. This is going to be another one of those stupid games that stars your useless brother and has you possibly getting injured as the stunt double." "Oh," Luigi muttered.

As they walked through the fortress, they suddenly remembered they had left the blue-shelled Koopa behind. "Boodanadolia!" Kyle screamed, and the trio appeared in Merlon's house.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house? Merlon is out!!!" came an angry voice. Quickly, Luigi grabbed Kooper the blue-shelled Koopa out of the wizard's plot hole, and Kyle shouted, "Shot-shot-shotanowalia!"

"whuh-bluh-konk-whodahekh," Kooper mumbled, dazed. At this point, Kyle started to sing, with absolutely no warning. Here's what he sang:

"Arg wu sentafinticate nar dunderford/Bida menti kosticated interserd/Thorphilliate stinded yilla billa zay/wentora yate paravillintiniay paravillintiniay...

"Dorga orpha dorga billa/Dorga orpha stifaleare/Dorga orpha dorga billa/Tonalation fonamere...

"Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking now

"If I had one wish/Well I don't know what I'd wish for/But if I had a million-zillion wishes/I'd use one to let you know that gibberish is/Not a nice way to talk to all your-

"Mork swax ippen reeby yuftabar/Higged quillip ernigrade du wellinshar/Lirp crawn xyfa gourk jawinstabray/Venaldo urp paravillintiniay paravillintiniay...

"Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking/Stop talking gibberish/Or just stop talking now

"If I had one wish/Well I don't know what I'd wish for/But if I had a million-zillion wishes/I'd use one to let you know that gibberish is/Not a nice way to talk to all your friends."

His audience of three clapped. "There's just one thing I don't understand," Luigi said thoughtfully. "What's that?" Kyle asked, totally carefree. "If you don't have a drum set, electric guitar, or bass, where did all the music come from.

Kyle turned into Bill Nye the Science Guy and said, "The sound effects crew OF SCIENCE!!"

(trumpet voluntary)

"Oh brother," Luigi muttered. "Um, speaking of him," Goombigi cried suddenly, pointing, "THERE HE IS!!!" Luigi's brother was indeed running toward them. Jr. Troopa was as well.

"There you are, Luigi! I will finally get my revenge!" Mario shouted.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Luigi retorted.

Suddenly, the Koopa Bros. came in and beat Mario and Jr. Troopa out of the fortress!

"Darn it! I knew we should've moved faster!" Kyle exclaimed.

"We are the cool Koopa Bros. and we'll make you hurt! Now!" shouted the red one.

"Hey, I got an idea," whispered Kyle.

"What is it?" Luigi whispered back anxiously.

"Well, why don't you use your Luigi Cyclone from Super Smash Bros.? Then you can beat'em down!"

"Well I could, but-"

"THEN DO IT!!!"

"Okay," Luigi said and ran at the Koopa Bros.

A quick dose of pain showed the Koopa Bros. who was boss.

"We give! The Star Spirit is at the top!" they cried.

"Japorsnippit!" Kyle called, and Luigi and company were instantly right next to the Star Spirit. Eldstar was set free, and the chapter ended.