Sorry it has taken so long to get this out, folks. I've been so busy
lately and I didn't have time to write more. Thank you all for being so
patient with me. After I finish this fic, I will alternate between writing
chapters for The Whipping Girl and D e M o N i C. I'll try my hardest to
get at least one chapter out every month. After school ends, which is in
about a month, the chapters will come much faster. Yet again, thank you so
much for your patience.
CuTtInG gAmE
Chapter 3: Breaking The Knife
*---Inu POV---*
Everyone was asleep except for me. Sango was curled up next to a full- sized Kirara, nuzzling her face into the fire-cat's soft coat of fur. Miroku was leaning up against the tree I was 'sleeping' in and holding his staff as one would hold a baby, snoring. Shippo had taken up his usual spot, cuddled up against Kagome's side, and was asleep.
If I were not a hanyou, I would have thought Kagome was asleep too, but her breathing was slightly uneven and her heart rate not as slow as a sleeping person's should be. Kagome stirred, and slowly sat up. She scanned the area, making sure everybody was asleep. Then her eyes landed on me. I pretended to sleep and even snored slightly for affect. Kagome swiftly dislodged Shippo from her side and got out of her sleeping bag, holding a small pack in her hand. Kagome then jogged lightly out of sight, careful not to wake anyone. I followed her. That was my part in the Big Plan.
Kagome trekked silently, sneaking around. She obviously didn't want anyone to know what she was doing. At one point I stepped on a leaf, causing her to stop. Kagome looked around suspiciously and then shrugged her shoulders.
We reached a spring. I hid behind a large boulder as she stood. I turned around, blushing, as she disrobed and waded into the cool water.
By the time I turned around, she was lathered up in soap. She dunked under the water and swam around to rinse away the soap. She looked like a mermaid, her body pale a swift as she swam. A wonderful creature.
After Kagome finished her swim, she waded over towards the spot where her small bag laid. She dug around the pouch for a moment, searching. Her face lit up when she found what she wanted. She pulled out a sharp looking knife. Bizarre.
She looked at the knife as one would look at a dear friend. She murmured something so quietly that I couldn't hear it and she stroked the blade affectionately. Freaky. Pretty freaky. Suddenly, Kagome dragged the knife across her thin arm. Blood beaded at the opening of the cut for a second before the blood started seep out of her arm at a steady pace, dripping down her arm slowly.
That was when I noticed everything. That look in her eyes that never left, that was so unlike Kagome, was sorrow and pain. She started to avoid us to avoid hurt. And she had scars, so many scars. On her arms and legs, there were many different types of cuts. Deep cuts, slices, slashes, gashes, shallow cuts, and scratches, words, carvings......scars on her wrists, too. She'd been cutting herself.
In the time it had taken me to absorb the information and get over the shock, Kagome had made a shallow cut above her left wrist and a somewhat deeper one on her thigh. Blood seep slowly from those cuts, too. As I saw her make a small yet deep slice on her forearm, I noticed that her face was less haunted and not as sad. This was making her pain leave.
I jumped out from behind my hiding place and ran over too her. I snatched the blade, that cursed blade that she was hurting herself with. Her face was shocked and she made unintelligible sounds of confusion.
"No more," I said in a sad, slightly angry voice as I broke the knife into bits. She made a choked sound as she watched the pieces of her blade fall to the ground. "No more! With that knife.....why have you been doing this to yourself? Why?"
She silently got out of the water and got dressed, eyes downcast. She whispered in a dead, monotone voice, "You wouldn't understand why....."
"I may not know why you felt you had to do this, but I do know some things. If anything, I know pain. I know you're having family problems. I know you're pressured. But why, of all things, do this? It's.....sick!"
"You wouldn't understand," she whispered, her voice weary and a bit bitter, "what I'm going through. You wouldn't understand the strain I'm under, having to live up to the standards of two times. Or waking up every morning knowing that your family hates you. How could you understand? How?!
I was trying so hard to be nice, but I slipped up. "Stress? Stress? What stress?! Everyone takes care of you! You're spoiled by us, damn it!" I was speaking out of the frustration of not being able to understand.
"The stress of having to lead a double life in my time, of passing exams and getting good marks in school. The stress of risking my life day in and day out for a stupid shard of crystal. The stress of having to live up to the shadow of my incarnation! The ache of having an abusive mother and knowing the guy I love will never give a flying fuck about me! Cutting helps take away the hurt. It helps to get rid of the emotional pain! I need to do it to stay alive!" She broke down into sobs, tears pouring down her face.
Oh Gods, Kagome, I didn't know it was this bad. If I had, I would have helped. I watched as she slid to the ground.
"You make my life miserable enough, can't you just let me keep this one escape? Please, I need my knife. It's all I've got!"
That's not true, I thought furiously, you have me! But out loud I said in the kindest, firmest voice I could muster, "No, Kagome, no. I'm not giving you back the knife. You need help! It's not normal, cutting yourself. Please, just let me, us, help! Sango, Miroku, and I can help you......just stop this. Please!"
"Who are you kidding," she asked bitterly, "no one cares......you never have before!"
"Kagome! Just let me help you," I said desperately.
Her barriers wavered. I could see the battle going on in her head, the unsure feelings colliding. But it the end, in a cracking voice, she said, "OK...."
She ran towards me and threw herself into my arms and sobbed.
Hey! There's going to be one more chapter in this fic. The epilogue, so to speak.
CuTtInG gAmE
Chapter 3: Breaking The Knife
*---Inu POV---*
Everyone was asleep except for me. Sango was curled up next to a full- sized Kirara, nuzzling her face into the fire-cat's soft coat of fur. Miroku was leaning up against the tree I was 'sleeping' in and holding his staff as one would hold a baby, snoring. Shippo had taken up his usual spot, cuddled up against Kagome's side, and was asleep.
If I were not a hanyou, I would have thought Kagome was asleep too, but her breathing was slightly uneven and her heart rate not as slow as a sleeping person's should be. Kagome stirred, and slowly sat up. She scanned the area, making sure everybody was asleep. Then her eyes landed on me. I pretended to sleep and even snored slightly for affect. Kagome swiftly dislodged Shippo from her side and got out of her sleeping bag, holding a small pack in her hand. Kagome then jogged lightly out of sight, careful not to wake anyone. I followed her. That was my part in the Big Plan.
Kagome trekked silently, sneaking around. She obviously didn't want anyone to know what she was doing. At one point I stepped on a leaf, causing her to stop. Kagome looked around suspiciously and then shrugged her shoulders.
We reached a spring. I hid behind a large boulder as she stood. I turned around, blushing, as she disrobed and waded into the cool water.
By the time I turned around, she was lathered up in soap. She dunked under the water and swam around to rinse away the soap. She looked like a mermaid, her body pale a swift as she swam. A wonderful creature.
After Kagome finished her swim, she waded over towards the spot where her small bag laid. She dug around the pouch for a moment, searching. Her face lit up when she found what she wanted. She pulled out a sharp looking knife. Bizarre.
She looked at the knife as one would look at a dear friend. She murmured something so quietly that I couldn't hear it and she stroked the blade affectionately. Freaky. Pretty freaky. Suddenly, Kagome dragged the knife across her thin arm. Blood beaded at the opening of the cut for a second before the blood started seep out of her arm at a steady pace, dripping down her arm slowly.
That was when I noticed everything. That look in her eyes that never left, that was so unlike Kagome, was sorrow and pain. She started to avoid us to avoid hurt. And she had scars, so many scars. On her arms and legs, there were many different types of cuts. Deep cuts, slices, slashes, gashes, shallow cuts, and scratches, words, carvings......scars on her wrists, too. She'd been cutting herself.
In the time it had taken me to absorb the information and get over the shock, Kagome had made a shallow cut above her left wrist and a somewhat deeper one on her thigh. Blood seep slowly from those cuts, too. As I saw her make a small yet deep slice on her forearm, I noticed that her face was less haunted and not as sad. This was making her pain leave.
I jumped out from behind my hiding place and ran over too her. I snatched the blade, that cursed blade that she was hurting herself with. Her face was shocked and she made unintelligible sounds of confusion.
"No more," I said in a sad, slightly angry voice as I broke the knife into bits. She made a choked sound as she watched the pieces of her blade fall to the ground. "No more! With that knife.....why have you been doing this to yourself? Why?"
She silently got out of the water and got dressed, eyes downcast. She whispered in a dead, monotone voice, "You wouldn't understand why....."
"I may not know why you felt you had to do this, but I do know some things. If anything, I know pain. I know you're having family problems. I know you're pressured. But why, of all things, do this? It's.....sick!"
"You wouldn't understand," she whispered, her voice weary and a bit bitter, "what I'm going through. You wouldn't understand the strain I'm under, having to live up to the standards of two times. Or waking up every morning knowing that your family hates you. How could you understand? How?!
I was trying so hard to be nice, but I slipped up. "Stress? Stress? What stress?! Everyone takes care of you! You're spoiled by us, damn it!" I was speaking out of the frustration of not being able to understand.
"The stress of having to lead a double life in my time, of passing exams and getting good marks in school. The stress of risking my life day in and day out for a stupid shard of crystal. The stress of having to live up to the shadow of my incarnation! The ache of having an abusive mother and knowing the guy I love will never give a flying fuck about me! Cutting helps take away the hurt. It helps to get rid of the emotional pain! I need to do it to stay alive!" She broke down into sobs, tears pouring down her face.
Oh Gods, Kagome, I didn't know it was this bad. If I had, I would have helped. I watched as she slid to the ground.
"You make my life miserable enough, can't you just let me keep this one escape? Please, I need my knife. It's all I've got!"
That's not true, I thought furiously, you have me! But out loud I said in the kindest, firmest voice I could muster, "No, Kagome, no. I'm not giving you back the knife. You need help! It's not normal, cutting yourself. Please, just let me, us, help! Sango, Miroku, and I can help you......just stop this. Please!"
"Who are you kidding," she asked bitterly, "no one cares......you never have before!"
"Kagome! Just let me help you," I said desperately.
Her barriers wavered. I could see the battle going on in her head, the unsure feelings colliding. But it the end, in a cracking voice, she said, "OK...."
She ran towards me and threw herself into my arms and sobbed.
Hey! There's going to be one more chapter in this fic. The epilogue, so to speak.
