**Yes yes I know that this installment has taken forever, feel free to throw things at me, like a couch or a croissant or something equally painful. I know that almost as soon as a Harry Potter fic is posted it disappears back into the archives, so if you do get a chance to read this before it zooms its way to page 10 in two seconds flat, please review it so I know that someone cares! Thanks a bunch, frosted flakes forever!
XOXO, ViV**

(Ron is looking upward with an exasperated look on his face, and Seamus and Dean are both looking upset at the delay.)

Ron: Narrator? Are you there? Come on dammit, I need to find this slumber party! Geez, you're just taking your sweet time aren't you? (Pauses, then realizes the Narrator is still not responding and begins to yell.) HELLO!? NARRATOR!!!

(The Narrator awakes with a start, one of the curlers tumbling out of her dark hair, chocolate on her face from falling asleep in her pudding in front of her computer.)

Ron: Thank goodness! Are you awake now?

(Yeah, sheesh. I was just taking a little break from fanfiction, I do have a life you know. I've been kind of exhausted lately…**eyes fill with tears** It's just that, I don't think you guys really appreciate me, and you don't know how hard it is, being just a disembodied voice with a sex drive, I don't know what to do anym--)

Ron: (Cuts off Narrator) Fascinating, can you get me to the booty already?

(Watch it, carrot top. It's up to me what happens to you, and I wouldn't want you to have any…PROBLEMS waking up the "Rod of Pleasure", if you know what I mean.)

Ron: (Backing off) Okay okay. Just get on with it. (Under his breath) How does she know I named it that?

(Ron, Seamus, and Dean slink quietly around the castle. While Hermione is giving makeovers to our mysterious friends, the boys are still attempting to find Vivian's fun-filled sleepover.)

Ron: (Turning to look at his friends) Well, do either of you guys have any idea where we're going?

Dean: Not a clue. I think Seamus might know though.

Seamus: (nods proudly and begins trying to draw figures in the air ala Silent Bob in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.")

Ron: Dammit, can't you just tell us what the heck you're talking about?

Dean: Actually, I don't think he can. Two chapters ago, the Narrator said that he only had one line in this story, and he said it already. He isn't allowed to talk anymore.

Ron: (Rolling his eyes) Okay, fine. Seamus, which way do we g-

(Ron is cut off by a thud and a crash one hallway over. A male voice shouts in dismay, and Ron and his friends exchange frightened glances.)

Dean: (whispering) Should we go see what's going on? Or should we find someplace to hide?

Ron: Well, let's think about this. In any of the Harry Potter books, did any of us ever do anything sensible?

(Dean and Seamus shake their heads no in unison)

Ron: Did we ever sense trouble and just walk away?

(His friends shake their heads no again)

Ron: Did we ever just quell our curiosity and go back to bed without investigating?

(Once again, nope)

Ron: (Brightly) Then let's not start now! C'mon valiant knights! We must away!

(Ron and the others round the corner to find Viktor Krum **Back by popular demand** trying and failing to pull a knight's visor off of his head. It appeared to be stuck on his nose, and the rest of the suit was scattered around him.)

Krum: Damn it! I knew I should have used my Quidditch money for a muggle nose job….

Ron: (Looking puzzled) Krum….what are you doing?

(Krums whips around, startled. The visor is still hopelessly stuck, and Krum keeps kicking bits of armor and making more clanging noises.)

Ron: (Taking charge for once in his life because nancy-boy Harry Potter isn't around to tell him what to do) Dean, move those pieces so we don't keep attracting attention to ourselves with all this noise! Seamus, pull that visor off Krum's head. I'll just stand here looking courageous.

(Ron's friends do as they're told, and in seconds Krum is visor-free. He straightens up and grins gratefully at Ron.)

Krum: Thanks dude! I was like "I'm stuck!" and you were like "I'll help!" and now I'm like, free and stuff.

Ron: Yeah. Anyway. Where are you headed mate?

Krum: Actually, I was just on my way back from teaching Cho's stomach to speak Bulgarian.

Dean: Teaching her stomach? Krum, you know your kid's in there, right?

Krum: (Opening his eyes wide) OMG! Cho swallowed my kid!? That bitch! And after all those times we had mad sex in her dorm room, that's how she repays me!

(Dean opens his mouth to something, but Ron silences him with a look. Seamus just shakes his head.)

Ron: Well, we're going to go crash a teachers' slumber party. Wanna come?

Krum: Will they be….naked?

Ron: I dunno. Maybe. (Starts daydreaming about naked girls at a slumber party and has to be kicked several times by Seamus before coming back to reality.)

Krum: Maybe's good enough for me! Count me in!

(The four boys continue their trek down the corridor until they come to the entrance Vivian told them about. At this point, Ron turns to address his comrades.)

Ron: We're about to go where no good Hogwarts boy has gone before. Be prepared.


(With that, the boys pulled aside the hallway curtain…and stepped inside.)