Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Or anyone. Poor me….. L
A/N: Wow, thanks guys for the great reviews.
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"I was caught off guard,
When I saw her face.
Stumbled my way through an awkward embrace.
And somehow I managed to say, 'Good to see you again.'"
-Tim McGraw, I Didn't Ask, and She Didn't Say
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He turned to face me, his eyebrows raised, an expression that I couldn't read placed carefully on his face.
"Hey… Lizzie." He stood there silently, unmoving.
I ignored the look I was being to identify as uncertainty and reached out to give my best friend a hug. Although he returned the embrace, it was awkward, as if he wasn't sure how his arms would wrap around my waist.
He was the one that pulled his apart. "Good to see you," he said stiffly. I stared in mild disbelief.
"Good to see you," I repeated, hoping that somehow I had misheard. I almost flipped when he nodded. "Gordo, we're best friends and we haven't seen each other in… well, too long. And all you can say is that it's good to see me?" My voice had begun to rise and by that point it was almost earsplitting.
He shifted. "Well, it *is* good to see you." He took his coffee and stepped around me. "Listen, Lizzie, it's been real, but I really need to get ready to board the plane."
I caught his arm. His coffee splashed and he frowned automatically. "All the flights are delayed for at least an hour," I informed him.
"Oh." He smiled, but it didn't quiet reach his eyes and I had the strongest conviction that it was more than a little forced. "Well then, I guess it's time you and I sat down and talked for a while."
"A suggestion I completely agree with."
He lead us to a set of seats unoccupied and we sat simultaneously. "So…" He waited for me to begin the conversation.
My heart ached to voice the question that I had been wondering for the longest time. 'Why didn't you ever come back?' But I couldn't do it. I finally settled for, "Where are you going from here?"
He took a sip of his beverage, causing me to wonder when he'd gotten an affliction for coffee. "I'm on my way to California."
My heart sped up. "To… Um… Hillridge?" It sank, however, when he shook his head.
"No. There's a guy that goes to my school that spends his summers with his mom who lives in L.A."
"And you're going to stay with him?"
"I am."
"I guess… I mean, you know, you being so close… you could stop by for a while, couldn't you? Just for a few days?" I allowed my voice to drop sadly. "I've missed you, Gordo."
He looked down, as though unable to meet my eyes. "I just don't know if I can," he answered. "I mean, I'm so busy."
"You're free enough to visit a friend from school."
"Lizzie-"
"Please?"
It was the desperate expression in my eyes that finally caused him to relent. Sagging his shoulders he finally responded, "I'll try."
"Good. So how's New York?" I was trying to fill into the role of best friend, but it wasn't easy. To try to be supportive over something I couldn't understand wasn't something I had a lot of experience with. When he'd been moved ahead to high school, I complained to Miranda frequently, inwardly begging for his swift return. Then, when he did, I promised myself that from that moment on, I would stand by him for the rest of my life-that I would put aside my selfish desires and put him first. And so far I had been doing the best I could through the e-mails, letters, and scattered phone calls. But to stand before him and fake a smile, ignore the pain in my heart… I wasn't sure I could do it.
He set his drink down and a brief smile caused his eyes to brighten. "It's… great. You know, learning a lot. Made a lot of friends." His grin widened. "I'm actually, sort of, popular."
"Wow." It was the only word I could voice.
"Yeah. Who'd have guessed? David Gordon. Popular."
"I would have," I answered, avoiding his eyes. "You're a great guy. Really nice, and funny, and smart, and…a great friend."
A touch of sorrow laced his voice as he began, "Lizzie…"
I raised my gaze. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"No." The answer was short, but his eyes, deep and beautiful and *blue* seemed to speak volumes that his words did not.
"Why not?"
He shrugged, breaking contact.. "I don't know. I'm just… concentrating. On schoolwork and stuff."
"Ahh."
"What about you?"
I laughed outright. What a ludicrous idea. As if I could even *think* about anyone else these days. "Yeah right."
"Why not?"
Wow, his hands must have been fascinating, the way he was staring at them.
How to explain? I mean, I could go with honesty, and reply, "Well, it's just that I'm in love with you, and I'm not sure what to do about it."
I settled for a borrowed phrase from Miranda, "It turns out Brad Pitt's married."
He grinned, sincerely this time. "What, Ethan no longer the apple of your eye?"
I thought of that attractive though vacant ex-object-of-my-affection for the first time in at least two years. I never saw him. But then, I rarely saw anyone that wasn't Miranda. When Gordo left, a part of me, the part that had enjoyed the company of others, left too.
"He never really was."
His eyes glassed over and I could tell he was remembering all the stunts I had pulled for a guy I had ended up describing as, "A hottie."
Oh yeah. I was deep.
"You never really liked Ethan," he questioned. "Funny, I seem to recall it differently."
My cheeks went warm and self loathing filled my veins. There was pain in his voice. It was hard to forget Kate's words, though I had not seen any indication of his feelings for me since that party. Gordo had liked me, at one time. And how I must have hurt him, with all my dealings with Ethan.
"Thank you," I found myself saying.
He glanced up in surprise. "Whatever for?"
I took a shaky breath. "For being the best friend a girl could ever want, or could think she wants. For standing by me. For helping me try to trap Ethan when-" I cut myself there and then continued. "For always loving me as a sister when there were days I totally disregarded your feelings, and Gordo I am so sorry."
His bright blues were wide and confused and I knew that the time was right. I pulled a letter out of my back pocket and handed it to him, trembling. "This is for you."
A/N: Wow, thanks guys for the great reviews.
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"I was caught off guard,
When I saw her face.
Stumbled my way through an awkward embrace.
And somehow I managed to say, 'Good to see you again.'"
-Tim McGraw, I Didn't Ask, and She Didn't Say
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He turned to face me, his eyebrows raised, an expression that I couldn't read placed carefully on his face.
"Hey… Lizzie." He stood there silently, unmoving.
I ignored the look I was being to identify as uncertainty and reached out to give my best friend a hug. Although he returned the embrace, it was awkward, as if he wasn't sure how his arms would wrap around my waist.
He was the one that pulled his apart. "Good to see you," he said stiffly. I stared in mild disbelief.
"Good to see you," I repeated, hoping that somehow I had misheard. I almost flipped when he nodded. "Gordo, we're best friends and we haven't seen each other in… well, too long. And all you can say is that it's good to see me?" My voice had begun to rise and by that point it was almost earsplitting.
He shifted. "Well, it *is* good to see you." He took his coffee and stepped around me. "Listen, Lizzie, it's been real, but I really need to get ready to board the plane."
I caught his arm. His coffee splashed and he frowned automatically. "All the flights are delayed for at least an hour," I informed him.
"Oh." He smiled, but it didn't quiet reach his eyes and I had the strongest conviction that it was more than a little forced. "Well then, I guess it's time you and I sat down and talked for a while."
"A suggestion I completely agree with."
He lead us to a set of seats unoccupied and we sat simultaneously. "So…" He waited for me to begin the conversation.
My heart ached to voice the question that I had been wondering for the longest time. 'Why didn't you ever come back?' But I couldn't do it. I finally settled for, "Where are you going from here?"
He took a sip of his beverage, causing me to wonder when he'd gotten an affliction for coffee. "I'm on my way to California."
My heart sped up. "To… Um… Hillridge?" It sank, however, when he shook his head.
"No. There's a guy that goes to my school that spends his summers with his mom who lives in L.A."
"And you're going to stay with him?"
"I am."
"I guess… I mean, you know, you being so close… you could stop by for a while, couldn't you? Just for a few days?" I allowed my voice to drop sadly. "I've missed you, Gordo."
He looked down, as though unable to meet my eyes. "I just don't know if I can," he answered. "I mean, I'm so busy."
"You're free enough to visit a friend from school."
"Lizzie-"
"Please?"
It was the desperate expression in my eyes that finally caused him to relent. Sagging his shoulders he finally responded, "I'll try."
"Good. So how's New York?" I was trying to fill into the role of best friend, but it wasn't easy. To try to be supportive over something I couldn't understand wasn't something I had a lot of experience with. When he'd been moved ahead to high school, I complained to Miranda frequently, inwardly begging for his swift return. Then, when he did, I promised myself that from that moment on, I would stand by him for the rest of my life-that I would put aside my selfish desires and put him first. And so far I had been doing the best I could through the e-mails, letters, and scattered phone calls. But to stand before him and fake a smile, ignore the pain in my heart… I wasn't sure I could do it.
He set his drink down and a brief smile caused his eyes to brighten. "It's… great. You know, learning a lot. Made a lot of friends." His grin widened. "I'm actually, sort of, popular."
"Wow." It was the only word I could voice.
"Yeah. Who'd have guessed? David Gordon. Popular."
"I would have," I answered, avoiding his eyes. "You're a great guy. Really nice, and funny, and smart, and…a great friend."
A touch of sorrow laced his voice as he began, "Lizzie…"
I raised my gaze. "Are you seeing anyone?"
"No." The answer was short, but his eyes, deep and beautiful and *blue* seemed to speak volumes that his words did not.
"Why not?"
He shrugged, breaking contact.. "I don't know. I'm just… concentrating. On schoolwork and stuff."
"Ahh."
"What about you?"
I laughed outright. What a ludicrous idea. As if I could even *think* about anyone else these days. "Yeah right."
"Why not?"
Wow, his hands must have been fascinating, the way he was staring at them.
How to explain? I mean, I could go with honesty, and reply, "Well, it's just that I'm in love with you, and I'm not sure what to do about it."
I settled for a borrowed phrase from Miranda, "It turns out Brad Pitt's married."
He grinned, sincerely this time. "What, Ethan no longer the apple of your eye?"
I thought of that attractive though vacant ex-object-of-my-affection for the first time in at least two years. I never saw him. But then, I rarely saw anyone that wasn't Miranda. When Gordo left, a part of me, the part that had enjoyed the company of others, left too.
"He never really was."
His eyes glassed over and I could tell he was remembering all the stunts I had pulled for a guy I had ended up describing as, "A hottie."
Oh yeah. I was deep.
"You never really liked Ethan," he questioned. "Funny, I seem to recall it differently."
My cheeks went warm and self loathing filled my veins. There was pain in his voice. It was hard to forget Kate's words, though I had not seen any indication of his feelings for me since that party. Gordo had liked me, at one time. And how I must have hurt him, with all my dealings with Ethan.
"Thank you," I found myself saying.
He glanced up in surprise. "Whatever for?"
I took a shaky breath. "For being the best friend a girl could ever want, or could think she wants. For standing by me. For helping me try to trap Ethan when-" I cut myself there and then continued. "For always loving me as a sister when there were days I totally disregarded your feelings, and Gordo I am so sorry."
His bright blues were wide and confused and I knew that the time was right. I pulled a letter out of my back pocket and handed it to him, trembling. "This is for you."
