Forgive me everyone, for being so late with my updates. As I believe I said before, I've started my job, so I'm a bit tired by the end of the day. Not only that, I've hit that oh-so-wonderful bit of annoyance known as a writer's block. Nest time I update, it'll be quite some time after Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix has come out. I'm sure you'll all want to read that before you continue on any other fan fiction. Sorry, but when the master performs, the amateur must know it's time to bow out for a while.

Voldemort's Amnesia Jewel Little Bird Chapter Eleven

Blood everywhere; on the floor, the walls, the windows, the body.

On him.

"What happened?"

"That traitor killed him."

Eyes glassed over in death, unemotional. Mouth slightly open. Hair splayed out on the floor, dripping in blood. Fingers lax and curled slightly. Those were the only parts of the body unharmed.

Filch was dead.

"What did they do?"

"They skinned him. Alive."

A razor sharp knife was gently pressed to the skin and dragged down. Blood welled up from the cut. Filch ground his teeth and bore the pain. The knife was gently inserted between the skin and the muscle and carefully used to lift the skin off.

And Snape could not help Filch, he had to stand there and watch.

"Where's Mrs. Norris?"

"She broke out of her cage and ran off."

Or did she? The door was unlocked, not broken....

As Filch lay there, bleeding to death, the skin of his body ripped off and laying in sheets next to him, the Death Eaters left, Voldemort watching.

Please may no one be wearing an Invisibility Cloak.

Snape had hidden in the shadows, wanting to help Filch but knowing it would be too late by the time he got to his friend. Voldemort was still there, taunting the caretaker, taking no chances that he might live. Then he left.

Filch died in Snape's arms.

"There was nothing you could do."

"I should've tried!"

Snape had Apparated back to the Hogwarts grounds, his face a mask of combined horror and misery, Filch's body held gently in his arms. There was still blood dripping from it, soaking into his robes. Hagrid had found him standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, unnoticed tears streaking his face, clinging to the body like a lifeline.

"Let him go, Severus."

"No."

@

Snape sat up like a shot, shivering in a cold sweat and trying to shake off the remnants of the nightmare. Without thinking, acting on instinct, he curled up in a ball, hugging his knees, and wept. It was dark out, probably somewhere near midnight, maybe a little later. He didn't really care; all he knew was that he could sit here and mourn in peace without Black seeing.

He'd failed again. First Lily, now Filch.

Snape never even realized how good a friend Filch was until that cursed night, not even realized he WAS a friend. All he'd known was that the caretaker had accepted everything about him without question, and the only person besides Dumbledore that trusted him. Snape had valued that, but unwittingly took it for granted as well.

Now Filch was gone. Permanently.

"Severus?"

He looked up, surprised, too miserable to even be properly angry. Not that it would have mattered. It was Fleur, and the second she saw his face, she swept over to him and pulled him into her arms, resting his head against her shoulder as he wept, comforting him. He'd forgotten how good that felt.

As his tears stopped falling and his suppressed sobs became nothing more than heavy breathing, Fleur ran her fingers through his hair, around his ear, under his chin, lifted his face, and gently kissed his forehead. "I knew something was wrong. You've changed, Severus."

"Filch is dead," he said shortly, looking straight into her eyes. He knew he could trust her. She'd never breath a word of this to anyone. "The Death Eaters got a hold of him and murdered him because he wasn't a true wizard. And I... I was there, with them at the time. I wanted to help him, to stop them, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could do without getting us both killed. He knew it; his look told me not to help him, but I wanted to, I needed to." He pulled away from her and covered his face with his hands. "I hate myself."

She didn't reply for a long while. "There are times when I hate myself for bringing Gabrielle back to my parents," she said softly. "If I had not, she would still be alive right now."

"That's not the same."

"No. But I found a kind of cure for that self-loathing. I'm sure it will work for you as well. Come." She got up, took his hand, and led him upstairs. He stopped stone cold when he realized she was leading him to Lily's room.

"Why are we going there?"

Fleur only looked at him, her expression closed. "I want you to see Lily."

"I already have."

"Not like this you haven't." She tugged on his hand, and he reluctantly followed.

It was dark in Lily's room, but the moon showed in through the window, illuminating everything with a sort of mystical glow. Stuffed animals were piled in a toy chest at the foot of the bed, with the odd one lying abandoned on the floor. Fleur and Snape navigated through them, stopping at the side of the bed.

Lily was fast asleep, her little fist next to her face, her body curled up slightly beneath the blankets. She looked so tiny, so helpless.

So... beautiful.

"It's hard to believe she's my daughter," he whispered. "She's too perfect to be mine."

"I know. Just think, though: how can you be so hateful if you've helped to bring to life something as perfect as her?" Fleur smiled at him. "You can get closer. She sleeps like the dead."

Snape found himself smiling a bit as he knelt down next to the bed and gently ran his hand over Lily's head. "I know. Didn't you send me an owl, stating with utter and complete surprise that she was sleeping the night through at two weeks old?"

"Yes."

"I can bet she'll be a right lazy little thing when she gets older."

"Probably."

He stood up, smiling a bit. "You're right. I do feel a bit better." He turned and suddenly pulled Fleur into his arms. She didn't resist. "Fleur... I don't want to leave you again."

"Is that why you cut the Dark Mark off your arm? So that if Voldemort escaped being killed, he would not be able to find you?"

"Yes. All I want is to make you happy, and I can't do that if I'm away from you. I want to be a father to Lily. It hurts me to think she's convinced she doesn't have a father."

She clutched onto his arms. "I don't want you to go, either."

"May I... stay with you? Tonight? I just... I don't think I can have nightmares if I'm with you...."

She looked up at him, a smile playing on her lips. "What? No sex?"

"Not tonight. I just want to be with you."

"Severus... you can stay with me every night for the rest of your life. I promise."

He never remembered how they made it into her room. All he did remember, before falling asleep that night, was that he was being held in her arms as they lay in the bed, both of them fully dressed, his head resting against her breasts, breathing in her sweet scent, and feeling utterly and completely safe. He smiled a bit. "I hope you like children, Fleur, because if I have my way, we're going to be having quite a few of them."

He felt her chuckle rather than heard it. "Good night, Severus," she whispered against his hair. "And try to kick off your shoes before you fall asleep. I don't want footprints on the sheets."

@

End of Chapter Eleven