FOUR: REHASH OF THE GREAT 9 SECOND SILENCE

"Hmmm," Lorelai mumbled quietly as she processed the thought in her head.

"Hmmm?" Rory echoed, looking up from her breakfast. "Brainstorming?"

"What?" Lorelai shook her head and looked at Rory and then at Luke, and then suddenly her mug of coffee became more interesting. "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about something."

"Okayyy," said Rory, pushing her plate forward. "Well, think about it some more, and when I get back from school we can talk about your interesting thought. My bus is about to arrive, so I'll see you later. Bye." Rory planted a peck on her mother's cheek and she was out the door.

"Must be a very deep thought," said Luke, putting his hands on the counter. "I think this is the longest stretch of time that you've been quiet, barring, of course, the great nine second silence of '94."

"What?" Lorelai looked at Luke, shaken from her thoughts again. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening."

"Are you okay?" Luke leaned forward. "You seemed to kind of shut down there for a moment."

"I'm fine," Lorelai said. "I was just thinking…"

"You said that already."

"I did?"

"To Rory. Earlier."

"Oh, yeah, right," Lorelai said. She opened her mouth to speak, paused, closed her mouth, and then after a few seconds of thought, decided to speak her mind. "Luke?"

"Uh-huh," Luke was busy wiping the top of the counter with what looked like a dirty dishcloth. He barely looked up as Lorelai spoke.

"Earlier, were you serious when you said you didn't want to marry me because of the extra stress?"

"What?" Luke looked up suddenly. "Is that what's been bothering you? Ah, geez, Lorelai I wasn't serious, I was just saying… I mean - I didn't mean it, I was -"

"Don't worry about it," Lorelai said, "I'm not bothered about that. Well, maybe a little offended, but I'll milk the guilt from you about that later. I was just thinking that it might actually be the solution to that problem you're having."

"What is the solution?"

"I am!" said Lorelai, "You need to marry someone who knows exactly what she is getting into. I fit the bill perfectly."

"What?" Luke was hearing her words but had difficulty registering them. Did Lorelai just suggest what he thought she was suggesting?

"It's so simple," said Lorelai. "You marry me. You keep the diner. Once the property passes, we get a divorce, and everything will be back to normal. It's just a technicality after all. We probably just have to get registered, show the proof to that Fergusan guy, and everything will be solved. Pretty cool idea, no? Next week, I'm gonna try to rob a bank."

"Are you serious? This isn't like one of those pranks where you get me to say yes, and then you laugh and take polaroids of me and post them all over town?"

"No, of course not," said Lorelai indignantly. "And I only did that once, six years ago, get over it. So are you game?"

"Am I game? Are you even listening to yourself? This isn't something that you can just rush into," Luke said, "Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into?"

"I've thought about it," said Lorelai, "And really, it isn't such a big deal. All I'm doing is helping a friend, and really, if you look at it, it's in my best interests too, because if you lose this diner I don't know what I'll do. Unless you want to move in with me and make me coffee everyday – then, I really don't care what happens to this dump."

"I'm flattered by your display of concern."

"So, what do you say?"

"You're sure about this?" Luke asked. "You don't mind being destined to become a divorcee in the next few months?"

"I'm fine with it, honestly," said Lorelai. "And besides, I get to go tell my mom 'HAH! I can SO get married'. And it's about time Rory got a new step daddy."

"So you're serious about this?"

"You asked me that already. And yes, I am."

Luke took a deep breath. "Okay."

Lorelai clapped her hands softly. "Yay! We get to save the diner. Now, quick, ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"Ask me to marry you."

"What?"

"It may be the only proposal I get for a while, so I'm gonna milk this opportunity for all it's worth. Come on, ask me. And throw in some poetry, too, that will be really romantic."

"Are you sure that marrying me so I can inherit property isn't romantic enough?" Luke said sarcastically.

"Maybe you should write me a song," said Lorelai. "Or try to fit the proposal into the crossword puzzle of the newspaper, and then I can solve it, and pretend to be so touched and surprised. I've been practicing how to cry on cue, and I think this is a really good chance for me to put this skill to good use."

"You're crazy."

"Ask me to marry you already, damn it!"

"Fine," said Luke. He leaned over the counter so he was closer to Lorelai. He felt his cheeks flush when he said it, and he tried to hide it. He was not sure if Lorelai noticed. "Lorelai, will you marry me?"

"Oh, Luke," Lorelai cried exaggeratedly, clutching her chest, "Of course, yes! Of course, I'll marry you!"

Luke was about to respond with a sarcastic comeback when he was interrupted by the sound of something breaking. He turned towards the sound, as did Lorelai. They both saw Miss Patty standing a few paces away from them, with pieces of a broken plate scattered at her feet. Miss Patty had one hand over her mouth, her face a mixture of surprise and happiness.

"I'm so happy for the two of you!" Miss Patty said as she walked up to where Luke and Lorelai were. "Is it true? That you two are finally getting married? Oh, that's the sweetest thing I have ever heard!"

"Who's getting married?" Babette's voice piped out from somewhere in the diner. She almost ran from her seat to the three of them. "Who?"

"These two of course," said Miss Patty, motioning to Luke and Lorelai. "I heard it with my own two ears. It was the most romantic thing."

"You two?" Babette nearly screeched in excitement. "I didn't know you two were seeing each other! Come here doll, give Babette a hug. Congratulations!" Babette pulled Lorelai into a bear hug and squeezed her tightly.

"Ah, ah," Lorelai gasped, pulling away from Babette. "I'm pretty certain you broke one of my ribs."

"This is one of the most beautiful moments in my life," Miss Patty started dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief. "And to think, I was a part of this special occasion."

"Eavesdropping is not considered being a part of something," said Luke. "And besides, it's not what …"

"Have the two of you set a date yet?" Babette cut Luke off and phrased her question to Lorelai.

"Ah, uh…" Lorelai was caught off guard and didn't know what to say.

"Of course they haven't," said Miss Patty, cutting in. "She just accepted his proposal. I should know. I was right here when it happened."

Luke felt that he would have thrown Miss Patty through the window if it wasn't prohibited by law. "I think you've really misconstrued the whole thing."

"How could I?" said Miss Patty. "You did ask her to marry you, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but …"

"And she said yes, didn't she?"

"Yes, but that's not the…"

"And you two are going to get married, right?"

"Yes, but not for the reason…"

"Then there was nothing to misconstrue," said Miss Patty triumphantly. "I'm just so happy you two kids got it together. I tell you, it's been such a pain watching the two of you dance back and forth like a pair of marionette puppets. I'm just surprised that you managed to see each other without us finding out."

"That's because we weren't seeing each other," Luke insisted.

"Oh, come to think about it," said Babette, "I think I sort of knew. Because last Tuesday, I saw Luke's truck parked outside Lorelai's house, but he was nowhere to be seen."

"I was helping her change the light bulb in the kitchen," said Luke.

"Oooh, ooh, and the other day, I saw the two of them in the yard… fishing from a plastic pool," said Babette. "One can only imagine what they did with the pool after that… or the fishing rods."

"I'd rather not, thank you," said Lorelai.

"What is wrong with you people?" Luke asked, directing his question to Miss Patty and Babette.

"Aw, look at the two of them," Babette sighed, "I think they're embarrassed. Let's leave them alone, let them plan the happy day." She gave them a parting wink, and pulled Miss Patty away, chattering eagerly as they walked out of the diner.

"The whole town is going to know about this by noon, ya know," Lorelai said, resting her hand on the counter.

"Yeah, and thanks for the help back there," said Luke. "Your 'ah… uh''s really helped clear things up."

"What did you expect me to say?" Lorelai asked. "Yes, Babette, me and Luke are getting married, but it's only for a few months while we try to take advantage of a loophole in his father's will so he can inherit the diner. Oh, I'm sure that would have gone over well."

"Now everybody's going to think that … that you and I," Luke motioned his hand back and forth between the two of them, "… you and I are… geez."

"Ah, we'll tell them the truth later," said Lorelai. "You just go and tell that lawyer that you just got engaged. And after that, go get me diamond ring, you cheapskate."

*
A/N: Isn't this fic the bomb? I think I managed to totally destroy Lorelai's character! I think it sounded nothing like her, but I couldn't figure a way to make it seem more realistic. Please don't flame me and tell me how much you want to string me up and kill me for writing out of character. I promise the next chapter will be more Lorelai-esque.

To quell the raging mob, here's a haiku:

They are so in love,
Lorelai will marry Luke,
Javajunkies… YAY

See ya later.

PS – I love reviews :)