FIVE: BETWEEN A BIG DIAMOND ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
"Mom?" Rory called out as she opened the front door.
"Upstairs!"
Rory climbed up the stairs and flung open her mother's room door. "What are you doing?"
Lorelai was kneeling at the foot of her bed, where several of her tops were strewn. "I'm trying to decide what to wear tomorrow. I want to go for the 'naughty but coy' look, but somehow the only thing I can come up with is 'trashy'. Help me."
"Later," said Rory, as she put her backpack on the nearby chair. "Let's talk about what Miss Patty told me as I got off the bus today."
Lorelai froze. "You saw Miss Patty today?"
"Uh-huh. She was there the moment I stepped out. It was almost as if she was waiting for me. She seemed overjoyed actually. Too overjoyed to see me."
"Oh, yeah, before you continue, I'd like to say that earlier, Miss Patty knocked her head against one of the cages she was dancing in, so you have to disregard whatever she says," said Lorelai. "What did she tell you, anyways?"
"Well, first she hugged me," said Rory, "And then she congratulated me, and then she asked me if I was happy I was getting a new father."
"Wow, I tell you, that Miss Patty really is odd," said Lorelai, as she turned back to the clothes lying in front of her. "Now, tell me, what does the green top say to you?"
"Right now, it's saying that my mother is avoiding the subject," said Rory. "I tried to ask Miss Patty what she meant, but she just gave me a blank look and told me to ask you, if I didn't already know."
"Miss Patty actually didn't *volunteer* to tell you? There you have it – proof that she's not herself," Lorelai held out the green top to Rory. "Now, really, does this really go with my skin tone?"
Rory snatched the top away from Lorelai and threw it over the chair. "What did Miss Patty mean?"
"Okay, fine," said Lorelai, getting up and sitting on the bed. "Miss Patty may have some how found out that I kind of got engaged today."
"You kinda got engaged," Rory repeated, not quite sure what to think of this new flow of information.
"Kind of."
"How do you 'kind of' get engaged?"
"Well, the sort of way you 'kind of' like tandoori chicken. You like it, but then again, not really."
"Are you comparing an engagement to Indian food?" Rory asked. "Who are you engaged to?"
"Matt Damon. But I'm seeing Scott Bakula on the side."
"Mom!"
"You have no sense of humor whatsoever," said Lorelai. "It's Luke."
Rory paused. "Luke?"
"Luke."
"Luke?"
"Luke."
"Luke?"
"Yes."
"Why are you engaged to Luke?" Rory asked, taking a seat beside her mother. "Do either one of you need a green card?"
"What? No," said Lorelai. "Remember what I was talking to you about earlier today? Well, we decided that if I married Luke, he wouldn't lose his diner, and everyone would be happy. I'm just helping him out."
"By marrying him?!"
"Oh, like you can think of a better idea."
"I did have a better idea," said Rory, "But of course, why listen to logic when you can just go out and get married."
"Don't overreact," said Lorelai. "Besides, weren't you the one who told me you wanted a step father?"
"What? When did I ever say that?"
"Don't you remember? It was snowing, and you looked out the window and sighed, and said 'The snow is so lovely, and I wish I had a step father. We can build a snowman together and go tobogganing.'."
"I'm pretty sure I have never used the word 'tobogganing' in my entire life."
"Well you really should start," said Lorelai. "It's loads of fun. Tobogganing. Hehe."
"You're missing the main point," said Rory. "I hope you realize that by doing this you're setting a bad example for me."
"How?"
"You're basically saying that marriage is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and it is something that can be entered into without due thought or consideration."
"It's not like I'm Zsa Zsa," said Lorelai. "And I'm not saying that you shouldn't take marriage seriously. In fact, you're missing out on the bigger moral of the story – a friend in need is a friend in deed."
"What?"
"Uh… when the foot is in the other shoe, you'll learn not to throw glass stones at the house between the devil and a hard place."
"Stop trying to confuse me," said Rory. "I'm not Taylor. And does everyone know about you and Luke?"
"Well, I think Babette and Miss Patty probably handled that part for me," said Lorelai. "But they don't know why we're getting married. They think we've been seeing each other secretly for years."
"Did you tell them the truth?"
"I believe I gave them a stern 'uh' to correct them."
"Well, this is a disaster," said Rory. "I don't see how you can do this. You must have extremely thick skin."
"Don't worry about it," Lorelai put her hand on Rory's shoulder. "Luke and I have a game plan. You should be able to get through this with minimum embarrassment. And check out my engagement ring." Lorelai put her finger out and displayed her ring.
Rory grabbed hold of Lorelai's hand. "Wow. Where did you get that?"
"Luke gave it to me. Pretty neat, isn't it?" said Lorelai, waving her fingers proudly. "I think afterwards I'm going to stand on a street corner and try to blind drivers with this big diamond."
"Luke bought you an engagement ring?" Rory asked in disbelief. "You guys are really taking this too seriously."
"Oh, no, he didn't actually go out and get me one," said Lorelai. "It belonged to his mother. She gave it to him before she died, told him to use it when he actually gets engaged. So he thought 'why not', and gave it to me."
"Just curious," said Rory, "But why do you actually *need* an engagement ring? It's a sham marriage anyway."
Lorelai gasped. "How dare you say that! I'll have you know that Luke and I are deeply in love."
"No, you're not. It is a sham marriage."
"Okay, yes it is, but it's not good for my reputation if you go around shooting your mouth off like that," said Lorelai. "And besides, I thought the ring was very pretty, and I can use it to gloat over Miss Patty. I'm drafting a short speech about how she's a lonely old busybody while I'm getting married with a big diamond rock on my finger. There's even a poem and stuff. Wanna read it? "
"Sure. Right after I get you diagnosed," said Rory. She turned around. "If this turns out badly, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Yeah, yeah," said Lorelai, as she stared at the ring on her finger. "Gosh, this ring is pretty."
*
"Hello?" Lorelai said as she picked up the receiver.
"Lorelai, dear, is that you?"
"Babette?"
"Oh, I was hoping I would catch you at here. I was worried you wouldn't be home."
"You live right next door," said Lorelai. "You could have just walked over."
"I know, doll, I know, but I just want to ask you a very short question," Babette said. "Are you free next Sunday?"
"Erm, I'll have to check my planner, but I'm assuming I should be," said Lorelai. "Why?"
"Some of the girls were thinking of throwing you a bridal shower," said Babette. "Celebrate the happy occasion. What do you say, doll?"
"Oh, Babette, I'm flattered really, thank you, but I don't …"
"It'll be fun," Babette said. "We'll have games, food, presents…"
"Presents? What time should I be there?"
"We haven't actually settled that yet," said Babette. "But I'm so happy you like the idea. Also, before I forget, could you ask your mother to let me know if she can make it? I left a message with her maid, but I'm not sure if she got it."
"What?"
"Your mother."
"What about my mother?"
"I told her maid to let your mother know about the bridal shower. See if she's free on Sunday. Because if she's not, we can always push it to another day. I'm sure she would love to be a part of the celebrations."
"Oh."
"Doll, are you there?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," said Lorelai, wrecking her brains to think how she was going explain this one to Emily. "Erm, yeah, sure, I'll tell her… She'll be thrilled that she's invited."
"All right, that's great. I've got to go now, I'll catch up with you later. We can talk about Luke then," said Babette, with a hint of mischief in her voice. "Congratulations again, honey."
Click.
Lorelai panicked. Maybe there was still a chance to salvage the situation. She was sure that her mother had not received the message, because if she had, she would have driven all the way down from Hartford and demanded and explanation. And since her day was so far Emily-free, there was still hope.
Lorelai grabbed the keys to the Jeep and rushed to the door.
* to be continued!!! *
NEXT:
Only one of these is true -
a) Fun with Emily
b) Rory goes tobogganing with Luke!
c) Britney Spears performs at Lorelai's bridal shower!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I apologize for the lack of Luke in this part, I love Luke as much as the next person (probably more... he's so dreamy....) but I couldn't fit him in. I'll try to be a little more speedy with updates. And more Luke! Maybe even in a sexy leather outfit. Yum.
Let me know what you think. I value feedback, and I love diamonds as well. Give me either, if not both. Thank you very much
"Mom?" Rory called out as she opened the front door.
"Upstairs!"
Rory climbed up the stairs and flung open her mother's room door. "What are you doing?"
Lorelai was kneeling at the foot of her bed, where several of her tops were strewn. "I'm trying to decide what to wear tomorrow. I want to go for the 'naughty but coy' look, but somehow the only thing I can come up with is 'trashy'. Help me."
"Later," said Rory, as she put her backpack on the nearby chair. "Let's talk about what Miss Patty told me as I got off the bus today."
Lorelai froze. "You saw Miss Patty today?"
"Uh-huh. She was there the moment I stepped out. It was almost as if she was waiting for me. She seemed overjoyed actually. Too overjoyed to see me."
"Oh, yeah, before you continue, I'd like to say that earlier, Miss Patty knocked her head against one of the cages she was dancing in, so you have to disregard whatever she says," said Lorelai. "What did she tell you, anyways?"
"Well, first she hugged me," said Rory, "And then she congratulated me, and then she asked me if I was happy I was getting a new father."
"Wow, I tell you, that Miss Patty really is odd," said Lorelai, as she turned back to the clothes lying in front of her. "Now, tell me, what does the green top say to you?"
"Right now, it's saying that my mother is avoiding the subject," said Rory. "I tried to ask Miss Patty what she meant, but she just gave me a blank look and told me to ask you, if I didn't already know."
"Miss Patty actually didn't *volunteer* to tell you? There you have it – proof that she's not herself," Lorelai held out the green top to Rory. "Now, really, does this really go with my skin tone?"
Rory snatched the top away from Lorelai and threw it over the chair. "What did Miss Patty mean?"
"Okay, fine," said Lorelai, getting up and sitting on the bed. "Miss Patty may have some how found out that I kind of got engaged today."
"You kinda got engaged," Rory repeated, not quite sure what to think of this new flow of information.
"Kind of."
"How do you 'kind of' get engaged?"
"Well, the sort of way you 'kind of' like tandoori chicken. You like it, but then again, not really."
"Are you comparing an engagement to Indian food?" Rory asked. "Who are you engaged to?"
"Matt Damon. But I'm seeing Scott Bakula on the side."
"Mom!"
"You have no sense of humor whatsoever," said Lorelai. "It's Luke."
Rory paused. "Luke?"
"Luke."
"Luke?"
"Luke."
"Luke?"
"Yes."
"Why are you engaged to Luke?" Rory asked, taking a seat beside her mother. "Do either one of you need a green card?"
"What? No," said Lorelai. "Remember what I was talking to you about earlier today? Well, we decided that if I married Luke, he wouldn't lose his diner, and everyone would be happy. I'm just helping him out."
"By marrying him?!"
"Oh, like you can think of a better idea."
"I did have a better idea," said Rory, "But of course, why listen to logic when you can just go out and get married."
"Don't overreact," said Lorelai. "Besides, weren't you the one who told me you wanted a step father?"
"What? When did I ever say that?"
"Don't you remember? It was snowing, and you looked out the window and sighed, and said 'The snow is so lovely, and I wish I had a step father. We can build a snowman together and go tobogganing.'."
"I'm pretty sure I have never used the word 'tobogganing' in my entire life."
"Well you really should start," said Lorelai. "It's loads of fun. Tobogganing. Hehe."
"You're missing the main point," said Rory. "I hope you realize that by doing this you're setting a bad example for me."
"How?"
"You're basically saying that marriage is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and it is something that can be entered into without due thought or consideration."
"It's not like I'm Zsa Zsa," said Lorelai. "And I'm not saying that you shouldn't take marriage seriously. In fact, you're missing out on the bigger moral of the story – a friend in need is a friend in deed."
"What?"
"Uh… when the foot is in the other shoe, you'll learn not to throw glass stones at the house between the devil and a hard place."
"Stop trying to confuse me," said Rory. "I'm not Taylor. And does everyone know about you and Luke?"
"Well, I think Babette and Miss Patty probably handled that part for me," said Lorelai. "But they don't know why we're getting married. They think we've been seeing each other secretly for years."
"Did you tell them the truth?"
"I believe I gave them a stern 'uh' to correct them."
"Well, this is a disaster," said Rory. "I don't see how you can do this. You must have extremely thick skin."
"Don't worry about it," Lorelai put her hand on Rory's shoulder. "Luke and I have a game plan. You should be able to get through this with minimum embarrassment. And check out my engagement ring." Lorelai put her finger out and displayed her ring.
Rory grabbed hold of Lorelai's hand. "Wow. Where did you get that?"
"Luke gave it to me. Pretty neat, isn't it?" said Lorelai, waving her fingers proudly. "I think afterwards I'm going to stand on a street corner and try to blind drivers with this big diamond."
"Luke bought you an engagement ring?" Rory asked in disbelief. "You guys are really taking this too seriously."
"Oh, no, he didn't actually go out and get me one," said Lorelai. "It belonged to his mother. She gave it to him before she died, told him to use it when he actually gets engaged. So he thought 'why not', and gave it to me."
"Just curious," said Rory, "But why do you actually *need* an engagement ring? It's a sham marriage anyway."
Lorelai gasped. "How dare you say that! I'll have you know that Luke and I are deeply in love."
"No, you're not. It is a sham marriage."
"Okay, yes it is, but it's not good for my reputation if you go around shooting your mouth off like that," said Lorelai. "And besides, I thought the ring was very pretty, and I can use it to gloat over Miss Patty. I'm drafting a short speech about how she's a lonely old busybody while I'm getting married with a big diamond rock on my finger. There's even a poem and stuff. Wanna read it? "
"Sure. Right after I get you diagnosed," said Rory. She turned around. "If this turns out badly, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Yeah, yeah," said Lorelai, as she stared at the ring on her finger. "Gosh, this ring is pretty."
*
"Hello?" Lorelai said as she picked up the receiver.
"Lorelai, dear, is that you?"
"Babette?"
"Oh, I was hoping I would catch you at here. I was worried you wouldn't be home."
"You live right next door," said Lorelai. "You could have just walked over."
"I know, doll, I know, but I just want to ask you a very short question," Babette said. "Are you free next Sunday?"
"Erm, I'll have to check my planner, but I'm assuming I should be," said Lorelai. "Why?"
"Some of the girls were thinking of throwing you a bridal shower," said Babette. "Celebrate the happy occasion. What do you say, doll?"
"Oh, Babette, I'm flattered really, thank you, but I don't …"
"It'll be fun," Babette said. "We'll have games, food, presents…"
"Presents? What time should I be there?"
"We haven't actually settled that yet," said Babette. "But I'm so happy you like the idea. Also, before I forget, could you ask your mother to let me know if she can make it? I left a message with her maid, but I'm not sure if she got it."
"What?"
"Your mother."
"What about my mother?"
"I told her maid to let your mother know about the bridal shower. See if she's free on Sunday. Because if she's not, we can always push it to another day. I'm sure she would love to be a part of the celebrations."
"Oh."
"Doll, are you there?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," said Lorelai, wrecking her brains to think how she was going explain this one to Emily. "Erm, yeah, sure, I'll tell her… She'll be thrilled that she's invited."
"All right, that's great. I've got to go now, I'll catch up with you later. We can talk about Luke then," said Babette, with a hint of mischief in her voice. "Congratulations again, honey."
Click.
Lorelai panicked. Maybe there was still a chance to salvage the situation. She was sure that her mother had not received the message, because if she had, she would have driven all the way down from Hartford and demanded and explanation. And since her day was so far Emily-free, there was still hope.
Lorelai grabbed the keys to the Jeep and rushed to the door.
* to be continued!!! *
NEXT:
Only one of these is true -
a) Fun with Emily
b) Rory goes tobogganing with Luke!
c) Britney Spears performs at Lorelai's bridal shower!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I apologize for the lack of Luke in this part, I love Luke as much as the next person (probably more... he's so dreamy....) but I couldn't fit him in. I'll try to be a little more speedy with updates. And more Luke! Maybe even in a sexy leather outfit. Yum.
Let me know what you think. I value feedback, and I love diamonds as well. Give me either, if not both. Thank you very much
