CHAPTER 2

In their lair, the Trio, the uncool trinity as it were, prepared the next evil scheme in their quest to be supervillains. Warren was standing near the stairs, waiting impatiently for the others to finish. Andrew was digging through a box of comic books, and Jonathan divided his time between gathering magick supplies and casting furtive glances at the box of spiders sitting on the table next to Warren.

"And remember that X-Files where Mulder finds the robot bugs and that scientist guy in the wheelchair tells him that an alien race would be technologically advanced enough to send its first wave of scouts disguised as common insects?" Andrew asked as he looked up from his task. "Is that what we're going to do? Make robot spiders and sic them on the Slayer?"

"What do we need robot spiders for?" Jonathan asked him. "We've got cameras everywhere."

"Yeah," Andrew almost breathed the word. "But Mulder's just so cool, and . . ." he paused realizing how thin the ice he was treading on really was, before continuing quickly. "And Scully's really hot."

Warren took a deep breath, his patience wearing thin. "I could make robot spiders. I mean, I'm capable of it. But modern technology doesn't make parts small enough. Besides, gentlemen, why would we need the real spiders then?"

"Oh," Andrew pondered this, failing to come up with another suitable possibility. The robot spiders were about the fifth idea Warren had shot down. Suddenly a smile lit up his face. "This is so cool!"

When the others failed to respond, he continued. "We're going to expose them to something radioactive and then let them bite us!"

"They're poisonous, dickweed!" Jonathan exclaimed.

"But we'd be just like Spiderman, buttwipe," Andrew almost wined. "Only there'd be three of us, so it'd be like Spiderman meets the Three Musketeers. That would be such a cool crossover!"

Warren and Jonathan just looked at him, but Andrew was already lost in dreams of what the comic book cover would look like.

"Okay, I'm ready," Jonathan announced, shaking his head to escape the moment.

"You got everything?" Warren demanded.

"Yeah," the shortest member of the Trio replied. "I've got the candles and the herbs and my magick-"

A snort escaped Andrew.

"-demon bone," Jonathan finished, emphasizing both words in an effort to instill the proper respect for the magickal item in his associates' minds.

Andrew erupted into full-fledged giggles.

* * * * *

The three nerds sat in their van, two sets of eyes glued to the monitor screens which showed the feed from the newest additions to the quickly growing camera network they'd named "Slayer Cam."

Jonathan, the only member not facing the screens, looked up from the pattern of sand and herbs surrounded by lit candles in front of him, and asked, "Why are we doing this again?"

"Because," Warren said tightly, "it'll keep the Slayer busy and give us an idea of her response time to something like this. That way, we'll have an advantage next time we need to distract her. Remember when everyone lost their voices a couple of years back and the whole town was quarantined? All that chaos makes for good crime opportunities, and keeps the Slayer out of the way defending the peace. When we're ready to make a move, we'll know what to expect from her." *Or maybe she'll get herself bitten and just die now,* he thought happily to himself. "Now make with the magick, Siegfried!"

Jonathan sighed and began chanting in Latin and waving his magick bone above the pattern on the floor. A bright glow could be seen emanating from the screens, thereby lighting Andrew and Warren's faces. Whatever their cameras were focused on, Jonathan's magick was affecting it.

As the glow subsided and the three settled in to wait for the show, Andrew muttered, "I still think we should have kept one and named it 'Shelob!'"

* * * * *

Buffy and Spike walked quietly through one of Sunnydale's numerous cemeteries, looking for vampires, demons, or other evil prowling around that night. So far, they had covered the vast majority of the usual baddie stomping grounds and they hadn't seen a thing. To be fair, though, the vampire had spent a significant portion of the patrol stealing glances at his quiet companion rather than concentrating on the surroundings.

*This time last year she would have been twirling her stake like she was some wild west gunslinger and taunting the empty air for lack of action,* he thought shaking his head. *Course, that was before…* Even in his thoughts, Spike still had a hard time forming the word "dying" in reference to the diminutive slayer who had captured his heart.

He was pulled from his musings by the faint sounds of a cry for help coming out of the woods off to his right. Buffy turned and took off before he could comment. *All business these days,* he thought sadly, longing for her lost spark, before following.

As the pair ran though the trees, the cries for help got louder. Although Buffy was fast, Spike's supernatural speed, combined with his longer legs, allowed him to catch up with her. Up ahead the trees broke into a clearing with a wooden shanty in it. It stood alone in the center of the clearing and was about ten feet by ten feet. If it'd had a flat roof instead of the traditional pointed one, it would have almost made a perfect cube.

Buffy slowed a bit to scout the clearing for dangers before bursting into it and Spike fell in beside her. Matching each other stride for stride, the two took the final steps out of the trees' cover, seeing nothing else in the clearing. Just as they reached the edge of the foliage, slayer and vampire found themselves being pulled up in the air.

The ropes of the concealed net quickly entangled the pair, as it pulled both up off the ground.

"Ouch!" Buffy exclaimed as her head connected with Spike's.

"I always said you were bloody hard-headed, Slayer," Spike grumbled as he tried to raise his hand to his aching head. However, he found his efforts hindered by both the net and the force of gravity pushing him and Buffy against one another in the center of the enclosure.

* * * * *

Inside their van, on the outskirts of the wooded area, the nerds watched Buffy and Spike's capture and high-fived each other before Warren admonished his cohorts to settle down and watch the rest.

* * * * *

In the clearing, the cries for help stopped short and both Slayer and vampire immediately noticed. The pleas were replaced by a chilling, cackling, and continuous laughter.

"The shed," Spike said as he looked closely at it, his sore head forgotten.

"It looks new," Buffy agreed with his unspoken observation.

As the trapped patrollers watched, a latch sprang up on each side of the roof. Each latch popped away from the structure, swinging out and up, freeing the wall it had been holding in place. Almost as if in slow motion, all four walls fell outward, collapsing on the ground, leaving only four poles supporting the roof.

That wasn't the most startling thing about the collapsing shanty, though. As soon as the walls hit the earth, the square-shaped mass that had been inside broke as if released from a mold. Buffy's eyes grew wide with horror as she figured out what the mess of segmented legs and blobs was.

"Oh my," she whispered, her stomach rolling as wave after wave of giant, sand colored spiders flowed out of where the shack had been.

Each spider's body was approximately three feet in length, with spindly legs making them nearly as wide across. Six eyes, in three pair adorned each beast – one set pointed forward, and another looked out from each side of the head. Vicious, pincher-like fangs glistened from the creatures' mouths, some dripping venom.

As Buffy and Spike watched, they all took off in opposite directions, disappearing into the cover of the forest's darkness.

"Buffy." The uneasiness and urgency in Spike's voice brought Buffy's attention back to what remained of the structure. In the center stood a mannequin with a long blonde wig. In one hand, she held what was clearly a wooden stake, although it appeared to be wrapped in something. A tape recorder lay at her feet, still blaring the blood-chilling cackle. It was the mannequin's dress, however, that truly horrified Buffy. She wore nothing but a long white t-shirt. Written across the chest of the shirt, in bright red paint was one word.

"Slayer."

tbc

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A/N: Hey, thanks for all the feedback! I forgot how giddy reviews make me; it's a wonderful feeling! In answer to the questions about ships: My intent is to tell the tale within the confines set by the show during the time period I've placed it in. While I'm a hopeless romantic myself, and would love nothing better than some good loving for our favorite heroine from either of her favorite vamps – and don't think I'm not doing a continual snoopy dance over the possibilities of Buffy "getting what she deserves" in a souled Spike – but that would violate my self-defined boundaries. Plus, part of the challenge for me is to try and write them as they are in a certain setting, rather than how I'd like them to be (at least this go around). For now, I'm going to try and stick to developing the Buffy/Spike quasi-friendship thing they had going on before Sweet came to town, making it all Gone With the Wind and the rising music and the rising…music. (Possibly my second favorite one-liner from the show.) Keep reading, and of course, reviewing. Enjoy! ht

PS: Anyone know any good Star Trek references to spiders or bugs (for Nerd fodder) besides the Voyager where Tuvok and Paris get stranded and have to eat big spiders? Or any other nerd-like cultural references? Please e- mail me if you have any to share.