Chapter five! Since I'm writing this with Internet connection down, I figure I'll do chapter five right after I finished four:) I'm so good….

Title: Magic brownies and the attack of the deranged, mutant, killer, monster Fans.

Summery: The blow-by-blow description:

A FORCE WEDGY CONTEST!

GODZILLA, LAWYER OR GIGANTIC DINOSAUR?

THE AUTHOR'S TRUE PLANS FOR DRUGGED UP OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN!

AND MULDER AND SCULLY! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!

Plus lots of other stuff!

Rating: Pulling out all the stops with this bad boy, this is rated PG-13 for un-a-bashed use of humor to further my own twisted purposes.

Disclaimer- I don't own any of this, this is all just other people's character in my own twisted little brain…but seriously folks aren't you glad I don't own it? Would you really want to see Godzilla in star wars?

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We have been far with the magic brownies.

They've gone through the temple, and into the senate, but what would happen to the FANS?

A space in time has mysteriously opened due to magic brownie power…and the fans are coming….

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Meanwhile, the force wedgy contest:

Anakin: HAH! (Wedgies obi-wan again) I win!

Obi-wan: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Anakin: * pause* uh…

Obi-wan: (Wedgies Anakin) Spongebob squarepants!

Anakin: * little girl squeal * I love that show! I like Patrick!

Obi-wan: Figures.

Anakin: WHAT?

Obi-wan as he gets force wedgied: uh, me too?

Anakin: that's better, now, you're going to come back to the temple and play nice.

Obi-wan: you know that doesn't work. I mean, when have I ever played nice?

Anakin: When Mace- Windu got you those tinker toys

Obi-wan: I WAS SIX YEARS OLD!

Anakin: Yeah right * cough * you still have them in your bedroom! *Cough *

Obi-wan: What about you and your " mommy"?

Anakin: How Dare you? That's a plot device! Do not question the almighty Lucas!

Obi-wan: What? How about the Amidala action figures that you have holed up in your bedroom?

Anakin: I'm a guy! I'm allowed to have action figures! What about you and your action figure of Sailor Moon?

Obi-wan: A filthy lie! You sir, are a disgrace!

Anakin: And what if I am? You and what army is going to stop me from…wait, hold on a minute…how the heck does that work?

Obi-wan: Maybe they should teach grammar at the Jedi Academy?

Anakin: It IS taught at the Academy!

Obi-wan: * blinks * by who?

Anakin: Yoda

Obi-wan: Figures.

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Meanwhile, Godzilla was filing the 401k plans for the government workers whilst Palpatine and the author were playing hacky-sack. Everyone else in the city was still engrossed by " THE THING!"

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Opened by Magic brownie power, the hole filled with thousands of screaming star wars fans opened wider. Mulder and Scully both watched from their vantage point as men, women, and children rushed through led by a crowd of screaming girls.

Mulder: oh dear, remember the time that happened in our series?

Scully: * shudders * yes, the crème in Langley's hair…

Mulder: * twitch* don't talk about that! That's almost as bad as the love scenes in ATTACK of the clones!

Scully: I liked the love scenes!

Mulder: who's the fan now Scully?

Scully: You are, oh you who-can-name-every-stuntman-for-every-character-in- every-movie-each-starwars-character-has-played!

Mulder: ouch! Feel my lightsaber action! (Pulls out plastic Hasbro lightsaber)

Scully: WE don't have the rights to that fanboy! Put it away before I bust out my COUNT DOOKU SPECIAL LIGHTSABER! (Copyright lucasfilm)

(They fight)

Below them a section of fans were pausing, and wondering what the hell two FBI agents were doing in a story with Jedi.

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Obi-wan and Anakin stopped their argument.

There was a rumble.

Anakin glanced down, his blue eyes wide with fear as a puddle below his feet began to tremble.

The water shook, like an invisible drop had fallen.

Boom

Boom

Boom

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Obi-wan saw it before his young apprentice did.

He had seen it many times before.

The Fan base was on the move.

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The Author, being the author, could tell when the fans were on the move.

The Author, being the greedy moneygrubber that she was, saw this as the perfect opportunity to make some quick and easy dough since there were THOUSANDS OF THEM.

The Author duplicated the trademark evil emperor laugh, and proceeded to make her plans.

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Fan one: AHHHH! It's obi-wan!

Fan two: And Anakin! WOW, what an amazing stroke of luck!

Fan 4,500,2345: Why, did anybody happen to notice Mulder and Scully duking it out over on that nearby building?

There was a silence as every fan turned inward towards the offending member.

Fan one: Super

Fan two: Force

Fan Three: Fan

Fan four: WEDGIE!

And Fan 4,500,2345 was thrown into oblivion just as the author came sauntering up.

" Ladies and Gentlemen!" she stood in front of Anakin and Obi-wan, " Here we have two, count them TWO lovely incapacitated Gentlemen! Suitable for putting in fanfiction, or for putting them to work! We'll start the bidding at $20 folks, and remember, all money goes to Lucasfilm!

The fans began to clamber

The Author grinned

And obi-wan began to sweat.

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Gradually the chapters get shorter and shorter, this is ending soon, I promise : )

Besides, I have exams coming…* shudders *