Title: Floating Up
Chapter 10: Protection
Author: Kora
E-mail: KrazyKora@aol.com or WinterViolet24@aol.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: The following characters belong to WWE and all the people and companies who deal with all that legal stuff. I am simply using the characters for my own twisted enjoyment. All warnings featured on Part 1.
Author's note: WARNING! This chapter is graphic and VERY disturbing! You have been warned.
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Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
Laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
Watch the riddles glow
Watch them float away
You're falling back to me
The star that I can't see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
-Our Lady Peace, 'Somewhere Out There'
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Stephanie and Hunter walked into the hallway as she turned to look at him, her voice still soft from the sleep she had just awoken from, "I'm happy to see you again. Hunter."
"Good to see you too, princess. How've you been?"
"All right I suppose. I kind of miss work. It'd be nice to get some kind of distraction from…but I know it wouldn't do any good. If I was there I'd just want to be here so I'm better off. You must be going really crazy though, this time off just to watch over little old me. Dad must think I'm going to go postal or something considering the way he's got you watching me twenty four seven."
"You complaining?"
Stephanie grinned, "No, actually, it's been nice having your around. Comforting. I'm just saying it's probably driving you up a wall. I'm sure you'd rather be with Flair and in matches as opposed to hanging out with me."
"No, there's no other place I'd rather be than at your side," Hunter admitted truthfully, his hazel eyes warm with emotion.
Stephanie cleared her throat, suddenly nervous, "Yeah, but playing bodyguard? With your ex-wife? It has to be…troubling."
"Stephanie," Hunter said softly, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek. For once she didn't draw away and he smiled, commenting on it, "You didn't pull back."
She smirked, "Maybe I'm getting better."
Their eyes met for a moment but Stephanie looked away, biting her lip. Her eyes drifted over to Shawn's room. The door was open a crack and she could see him in there, lying motionless on his bed. She felt herself shaking slightly, her eyes welling up, "Or maybe not."
Hunter could see where Stephanie's gaze had gone and found himself drawing away his hand, frowning as she spoke again, "It's all my fault, you know."
She shook her head and rubbed her arms. She started walking away from Shawn's room, heading down the hallway, Hunter following at her heels, "What happened. The attacker hates me and he wants me, wants to hurt me but he doesn't just go out and strike me he strikes at my friends at my…Shawn. If I lose him I don't know what I'll….I mean, what if he never wakes up?"
Her eyes met his on the last question and Hunter felt his whole being deflate, his heart dropping into his stomach as he said, "You…care a lot about him, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you," he paused, his throat dry and squeezing tightly on a lump that had formed there as she spoke, "Do you love him?"
Stephanie's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. She blinked a few times before speaking, "Wh-what? Why would you ask that? I mean, what makes you think…"
"Oh come on, Stephanie, I may be somethings but stupid isn't one of them. I see the way you look at him and when I mention him you get," he trailed off, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jacket, "And you let him touch you like it's nothing and when it comes to him you get so excited. And you bring him into conversations and talk about him like he's…and when he got hurt you got so torn up that it was…"
"How could I not be torn up?! He got hurt because of me!" Stephanie's voice had grown in volume and Hunter took gentle hold of her arm. This place was too public for an argument so he steered her down the rest of the hallway and into the parking garage. Once they entered he expected her to continue her rant but instead she froze. Her whole body turned rigid as she looked around. Hunter frowned, "Steph? You okay?"
Stephanie didn't speak so Hunter kept talking, "Don't be mad, I just thought it'd be better here away from people."
Stephanie swallowed as she looked around. The gray concrete lay before her as well as several cars. The yellow lights above shone down eerily and she could see several dark spots. For some reason she felt very apprehensive, a light sweat breaking out on her skin. She hadn't been in the parking garage the entire time she had come here. She always parked outside. For some reason she had always avoided the garage. In fact, she hadn't gone near one in a long time. Not since…
She swallowed again and felt her vision blur. She tried to ignore it, resting a hand on her forehead, her breath soft, "N-n-no, it's okay. What were we talking about?"
"We were talking about how torn up you were over Shawn, how you feel he got hurt because of you," Hunter said, still frowning. Something was wrong, he could tell, but she wouldn't say what.
Instead she seemed to catch on, continuing the spat, "Y-yeah, of course, and I mean, how could I not feel bad…I mean he's done so much for me! And without him I feel so unsafe because he was the one who found me and protected me and saved me and…and I need him and I hate it because I hate being so weak and pathetic. I wish I was strong like I used to be but I'm not. Not since that man," Stephanie slowed down, her breath going shallow as her eyes darted all around, "took me and dragged me into…"
Stephanie suddenly clutched her head, gasping. Hunter came over to her, holding her tightly in his arms. She could dimly hear his panicked voice, him repeating her name but it was overpowered by a resounding throb in her head. Lights faded and she felt herself sinking into memories. Her fingers clutching tighter to her scalp as the flashbacks moved through her again.
She slung her purse over her shoulder.
It was raining outside. She knew that, she could even hear it hitting the building.
She entered the parking garage, her keys in her hands.
She could hear her heels clicking on the pavement.
She heard a sound behind her.
She turned.
There was nothing.
Uneasiness creeped over her skin.
She ignored it.
The memories ended and Stephanie could see Hunter, see his worried eyes and she grabbed the lapels of his jacket tightly, gasping, "It's happening…it's happening!"
"What? What's happening?" Hunter asked.
She suddenly pushed him away, her voice raw, "Don't touch me. Leave me alone, I need to…"
"Stephanie, I don't think this is such a good idea," Hunter said, wincing at the sound of his voice. It was high and squeaky with anxiety as he looked at Stephanie. She was acting like a total stranger, the way she swayed on her feet worried him, she had bearly focused her eyes once.
But she didn't care; she ignored him as everything began to swim before her, a tight cry escaping her throat as her fingers clutched at her hair again. She tugged on the strands, her head falling back as she screamed, the memories blinding bright as they flashed over her.
He grabbed her from behind.
She screamed and struggled against him, fists pounding his shoulders.
She couldn't see his face; he wore a black ski mask.
He dragged her out of the dingy light, far away from the cars to an empty end of the parking garage.
He pushed her into a dark corner then followed; it was like they disappeared inside the darkness, the blackness.
He forced her to the ground.
The pavement scrapped her skin.
She smacked at his shoulder fruitlessly.
He twisted her wrist.
Her skin burned.
He was strong, too strong but she continued to fight, began to beg.
He tore her blouse, reaching for her breast.
She screamed again and he covered her mouth, fingers digging into her skin harshly, brusingly.
"Please, oh god, please don't," She'd whimpered, cried as he'd torn at her underwear. His nails biting into her flesh, sinking in.
"You'll like this, I promise," he'd hissed, his grip tightening as she heard his zipper slide down, his teeth gnawing at her neck.
"Don't, DON'T!"
"DON'T!" Stephanie screamed in loud anguish as she collapsed to the ground, crying, the sounds leaving her strangled. Hunter could hold off no longer as he rushed over and fell to his knees, collecting her in his arms as she cried and kept mumbling over and over in gut-wrenching sobs, "Don't, don't, don't…"
The memories finally receded as Stephanie continued to cry, her voice broken as she spoke, "Oh god, Hunter, I remember. I remember! He raped me…oh god, he raped me here. In a parking garage like this, in Seattle, he raped me and…oh god,"
He held her tightly, "Oh god, sweetheart, shh, shhh it's okay. It's going to be okay."
"Get me…out of here. Get me…Shawn." She whispered.
"Okay, baby, anything you want." He whispered, hot tears escaping his eyes as he pulled her to him tightly, hoisted her up in his arms. They went back to Shawn's room and sat in the hallway across from his open door. Stephanie slowly began to collect herself. Hours flew by before Stephanie felt ready to speak.
"I remember."
Hunter looked over at her, a bit startled. He'd drifted off for a while so hearing her voice again shook him. He spoke softly, "I know."
Stephanie rubbed at her cheeks, "I was leaving the arena. I was in the parking garage when he grabbed me. I couldn't…see his face. He wore a mask but he was strong and he," she stopped, resting a hand to her mouth before continuing, "When he was done he must have taken me outside. Dropped me in the gutter and taken the picture. Some of it's still fuzzy but…I remember when he…I remember the rape. I remember all of it."
"Jesus, Stephanie, I'm so sorry," Hunter's voice squeaked again and he hated it. She looked over at him with a watery smile, "I know. So am I. I wish I hadn't but….it'll be good for…finding him. Stopping him before he hurts anyone else."
"He hurt you," Hunter hissed, "I can't imagine anything worse."
Stephanie's eyes lowered, her voice a whisper, "I can. He hurt Shawn."
Hunter looked over at her at the last remark, her head slowly rose up and she let out a shaky sigh before turning to look at him, "Hunter…he means so much to me."
Hunter felt defeated as he said numbly, "You love him."
Stephanie shook her head, "He saved me, he protected me. I always thought he'd be there and be strong and protect me and be my own personal hero so when he was…attacked. When he was hurt it terrified me. Because it ruined my picture of perfection. I felt like if Shawn could get hurt then-then I could be hurt again too. That I was totally unsafe because he was…weak after all," she continued to shake her head, "It was unfair of me. To put that burden on him. He's only human, I shouldn't expect so much out of him but…"
She looked over at Hunter, "I don't know how exactly I feel about him. He was my hero. My knight in shining armor but he was also my best friend. He is my best friend. He makes me laugh and he makes me smile and he listens to me. He hangs out with me and when I'm with him…"
She looked at Hunter, "I never thought I could feel like that again. Not since you…I mean, when you left I thought it was over for me. That'd I'd never, that no one would measure up to you because, god, I loved you so much."
"Loved. Past tense." Hunter said, looking away from her, his jaw tightening in pain.
"Hunter," Stephanie said softly, reaching out to touch his arm, "You and I…we just can't…do this again. I can fall in love with you. It would be so easy, I still…still love you in a way but I…there's just…something else in me now and I can't, I can't be with you when it's there and it's growing everyday and also I can't take the chance that if you and I were together again that you wouldn't…leave me."
"Leave you?" Hunter breathed.
"Hunter, when we were together I was bad. I was a real bitch, don't deny it. Angle and Jericho and the whining. I don't blame you for what you did but god it-it broke my heart. I thought I would die. I went in and out of every day feeling so horrible I just wanted to curl up and not go on. Shane helped me through that, helped me go on but I was a robot, I was…you destroyed me.
"I know you didn't mean to, but you did and I was so lost without you. So many people have hurt you, Hunter. I know that, you told me. So many people have left you but you never thought about…doing it yourself. But you did, Hunter. You did it to me. You hurt me like you'd been hurt."
"Stephanie, I-I didn't know. I didn't mean…"
"Shh," Stephanie whispered pressing her fingers to his lips, "Don't. Please, let me finish. A…lot has happened today. It's been hard and long. I remembered the…rape and now you and I have to talk about somethings I've been holding on to for a long time. If were going to finish this all, let's finish it now. Right here. It's a strange place to do it, but it's just as good a place as any."
Hunter nodded in agreement and let Stephanie continue, "Anyway, I got over you. With hard work and I decided never to love anyone else ever again. Not like I loved you. And then life tossed me a wicked curveball. It delivered a killing blow. I would have stayed in that gutter and let myself die. My attacker said I belonged there and at that moment I felt like I did.
"I wanted to die. I didn't want to go on and then…Shawn came. And even though he says he didn't do anything he did. And it wasn't just helping me and saving me like everyone says, like I myself said. No, he did something else. He showed me…life. 'Cause I was dead long before the attack. I was dead the moment you left. I always thought only you could save me, bring me back but Shawn showed me different."
Hunter felt his words come out on a breath, "What did he do?"
Stephanie smiled wistfully, "He made stupid jokes. He never treated me different. He went out with my brother for my sake even though I know he didn't want to. He flew back and forth across the country for me more times that I can count. He went shopping with me. Let me talk to him on the phone for hours about the most asinine things.
"He gave me suggestions and listened to my problems and helped me when I cried and he never gave up. He never rushed me, never told me what to do. He let me be selfish and whine but only in good moderation. He climbed a tree with me and went with me to places I never thought I'd take anyone else and…"
She stopped and looked at Hunter, "He was what I really needed all along. More than you. More than Shane and my family and work. More than anything. He was my friend."
Hunter couldn't help but grin, "He's a great friend."
"That he is," Stephanie whispered.
They were silent for a few moments and then Hunter spoke up, "So, you got to speak. Is it my turn yet?"
Stephanie nodded and waved a hand and Hunter sighed, "Stephanie, I wish, more than anything, I could change what happened between us back then. It wasn't just you, who did things wrong. I did too. I should have been more supportive a lot of the time and other times I probably shouldn't have coddled you so much.
"Maybe if I had helped you become more grounded then, you and I wouldn't have gotten into so many fights. But we were both so young and stupid and full of ourselves that we never….shit, I'm still full of myself, really. The reason I've been such an ass lately is because I realized what I lost, what I gave up."
He looked at her, face full of meaning, "You weren't the only one who was devastated and lost, Steph, I was too. But a man has a different way of handling things than a woman does. I worked through it with matches and booze and meaningless women. When I signed those divorce papers, I just wanted to tear them up and deny it but I knew right then it was the right thing. It still is. But, god, Stephanie, I do still love you. I don't know if I'll ever stop."
She smirked, "You've done better without me. I mean, look how long you've been holding the title."
"The title again," Hunter snorted, "Let me tell you a little something about that title. It's pointless. Insignificant without you. Not having you in my life, there to celebrate it with me, it's just a huge hunk of worthless nothing."
Stephanie looked startled and was about to speak again when Hunter held up a hand, "Look, my turn, I finish. I should be the one to finish this since I started it, brought it up. I've been thinking about it a lot and I want you back. I do. More than anything but I also want what's right for you, best for you and that's more important. I usually fight for what I want and screw everyone else but I'll be damned if I screw you over. Not again. I'm gonna learn from my mistakes. I'm going to be grown up, responsible and I'm going to do the right thing. I love you enough to do that."
He looked at her and smiled as he said smoothly, "As much as I'd like to be with you I know that while we had good times, we had bad times too. And despite the changes you and I have gone through, even though there's a possibility it could work this time, our marriage ended for a reason and it's only a matter of time before we end up at each other's throats again or worse.
"I'm going to do something that should have been done a long time ago, long before you and I got married. I'm going to be your friend, Stephanie. I'm going to protect you and love you without any strings attached. Without wanting anything in return. I'm going to…let you go. I want you to go, I want you to be happy and if that's with Shawn, then I wish you both the best. Because I love you," he looked over into Shawn's hospital room, to Shawn on his bed, "And I love him too."
Stephanie breath caught, "Oh Hunter."
She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, he hugged her back and when they drew away she gave him a tiny smile, "You know, half the reason I've hung over Shawn's bed a much as I have is…well, of course I do feel guilty about what happened and I do care for him but...when you got hurt and tore your quad I was never…there enough. I should have been at your side. I should have cared more. You were my husband and I wasn't with you as much as I should have been. I wanted to rectify that. With Shawn."
Hunter grinned and plucked at her chin thoughtfully, "That's sweet of you."
"What can I say? I'm a sweet girl,"
"Oh great, you're starting to sound like him," Hunter said, rolling his eyes. Stephanie laughed, "Look who's talking. He was your role model first."
"Hey, he's great. And he knows it all too well unfortunately. I told him that just like I told him I was going to talk to you."
Stephanie's eyebrows rose, "When did you tell him that?"
"Today when I first came. You were asleep and he and I…had a talk." Hunter said with some amusement.
Stephanie smiled, "You're not the only one who talks to him. I mean, of course I do but so does Nash."
"Nash? You've GOT to be kidding."
"No, no, he stands over the bed and talks to him when he thinks I can't hear. He tells Shawn all about what was on television the other night and how much he misses him and he even tells dirty jokes."
Hunter couldn't help but laugh at that idea. He could almost see Nash talking to Shawn, Stephanie enjoyed hearing him laugh and continued, "He even felt as if Shawn told him to go up to the pediatric ward once. So he did and he dragged me along for the ride. He made balloon animals."
Hunter stammered out a 'what' between his laughter as Stephanie laughed too, "Yeah, he was actually pretty good. And all the kids kept asking how someone so tall could be a clown. They determined his shoe size alone made him one."
They laughed over that for a long while, then Hunter sighed and caught his breath, "Man, that was a good time."
"Mmhmm."
"Nash been by lately?"
"Yeah, usually on the watch out for you."
"Would be," Hunter drawled with a frown.
"Hey, you made up with me, you should shoot for your old friends next," Stephanie suggested.
"I know but…one at a time, you know? Talking with you was hard enough as it was," he sighed, "I'm going to have a hell of a time getting over you though. You think….you think I could….get a kiss. One last one. For-for old times sake."
Stephanie looked over at him, her teeth worrying her lower lip. She could remember Shawn asking if she thought Hunter could be the one she could kiss and she wondered it herself now, "I don't know if that's such a god idea."
"No romantic attachment, I promise. Okay…maybe a little. But, hey, I promised friendship and no more and I meant it, I just want one final kiss. Please?"
Stephanie sighed, "It's been…I mean it may be hard for me. Considering all I've been through."
"I know. And I would be honored if…if I could kiss you," Hunter said softly.
"But…this would be the end?"
"Of course, it would. It has to be. I told you that."
Stephanie looked down and sighed, then turned to Hunter, "Okay."
Hunter edged closer to her and Stephanie let out a little nervous gasp as she tilted her head to one side, offering up her lips. Hunter slowly covered her mouth with his own, kissing her sweetly, chastely. Across from them Shawn's machines beeped and hummed in rhythmic time when suddenly they began to speed up slightly. Shawn moaned quietly and his eyelids flicked.
He felt pain sizzling every nerve ending, his throat clamping around the plastic tube in his throat, making him gag. His eyes slowly rolled open. He saw blurred colors and bright light. Another low moan rose out of him, his first thoughts coming across his aching head. Stephanie?
He looked forward and his gaze began to sharpen. He could see Stephanie. She was across the hall sitting down. And he could see she wasn't alone. He could see her kissing Hunter. Shawn's eyebrows drew together and a wounded sound came out of him as his eyes slid closed, a fresh new pain rolling through him.
