Disclaimer: much as I would like to own a particular doctor I don't, or any of the other characters for that matter! Although if anyone wants to buy them for me (hint hint it IS my birthday in a few weeks.lol)

Part I - The start of something

At first it had worked, we were there for each other, there was.chemistry. We loved each other, I think. But when it came down to it, we were both too scared of commitment. Uncertainty. And this fear, this uncertainty led to secrecy. That's when things started to go downhill. But he'd been about to propose. She'd ruined it then, she knew. A wakeup call to remind her of the fragility of the relationship. She'd wanted it then, or at least she thought she had. Finally she realised what he meant to her. 'We're changing, growing,' didn't she think so? No, 'people never really change.' But that was wrong, she didn't believe it now. She needed to change, to make things work. The routines, the smoking, the drinking, they had to end. And he hadn't believed her. He thought it was a hoax, a scheme to make him change his mind. But she'd meant it, she really had. One morning she did wake up and decide she wasn't going to be life's dumping ground anymore. And she'd do it alone. Screw Carter! Constantly trying to force her into doing what she wasn't ready for. Trying to fix her. She wasn't broken. She wanted encouragement, not help. If she had help it would mean she hadn't done it on her own. And she had to do it alone.

'Hey, Abby, are you ok?' That shocked her. She hadn't even heard him come in.

'Yeah.'

'You don't look it. What's wrong Abby?' His voice full of concern.

'No, it's nothing.'

'Look, my shift's nearly over, let's go to Doc's and get something to eat.' He knew she would talk when she wanted to. No point in pushing the issue now.

'Yeah, ok, I'm done in five minutes. Meet back here then.'

'Good. I've got to go now I've got a patient in three waiting.' And he went. Just when she wanted to talk, talk about everything; her problems, and there were a lot of them.

'Abby!' Someone else was calling her now. 'We've got a trauma coming in, I need you're help.'

'I'm off in five minutes, can you get someone else. I'm meeting someone, it's important.' The tone of her voice showed clearly that she wasn't ready to take this trauma. Strange though, he'd said exactly the same thing.

'Sure I'll get Chuny; you'll have to cover the foot lac. in three though, and a couple of her other patients. Is that ok?'

'Yeah, that's fine. Thanks Susan.'

As she sat there across the table from him he suddenly realised how small she was. She looked weak and miserable. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and tell her that it would be ok. To tell her that no matter what the problem was it would get better, that he could help her. But he couldn't do that.

'What is it Abby? What's the matter?' That was all he could do. he could talk to her but no more. But talking helped, he knew that of course.

'Nothing, Luka, don't worry about it.'

'It's not nothing Abby, I can see you don't look alright. Talk to me Abby, come on.'

'I broke up with Carter.'

'Oh Abby I'm sorry.' Hardly able to hold the note of excitement out of his voice. But he had to. She was upset and that was far more important now. 'Why?'

'It wasn't working in the end, the relationship, I mean.' It was true. There were other reasons as well, but he didn't need to know about them, not yet anyway.

'Are you ok with it then? I mean, it was amicable, what you both wanted?'

'Yeah, I guess, so what do you want to eat?' She tried not to look at him. If she did, she knew she'd just break down in front of him. 'I think I'll just have a coffee, I'm not all that hungry really.'

'Yeah me too.'

They ordered, and drank their coffees slowly, discussing trivial matters like Dr Romano's new position as chief of the ER and Kerry's promotion to chief of staff.

Finally, coffee drunk, it was time to leave. But talking to Luka was so comforting, so reassuring she didn't want to leave. 'Hey, you want to go for a walk along the water?'

'Sure, I haven't got anything better to do.' He would have suggested it himself except he'd been worried she'd refuse.

'Luka, I'm going to AA again, and I'd like you to be my sponsor. That is, if you want to.' Luka would be the best sponsor, despite the fact that she was supposed to have a female sponsor, but never mind that.

'Are you sure that's what you want? Wouldn't Carter be.?' His words trailed off then, mid-sentence.

'No, we're over, Luka, don't worry.' She looked at him and smiled then, the first time today that he'd seen. He almost took hold of her hand, but thought better of it.