Little Things are the Big Things
CH2: When You Come Back To Me Again
"Rach, I heard the whole thing." Monica said, coming in the room towards her. Rachel wiped her eyes and sighed.
"Yea, well, what the Hell does he know?" Rachel asked huffily. "I can too love Joey." She said choking. Monica lowered her eyebrows and looked to Rachel as if to say, 'I don't think so.'
"I'm sorry." Monica said after Rachel reacted to the look. "Okay, sorry. It's just; your feelings came to a head right after you and Ross were going through another tough time. It just seems like Joey was second choice. Like he was someone to fall back on." Monica said truthfully. "And I really think Ross had a few good points." She added.
"Like what? How somewhere in there he labeled me as only caring about myself? How no one can love me?" Rachel asked as she started slamming stuff around in a fit of anger.
"No!" Monica said a bit annoyed. "That it's only a matter of time before Joey goes back to his old ways." Monica sighed. "And that Joey gets to be there while Ross isn't."
"Well, it was his choice to leave!" Rachel yelled.
"Oh my GOD!" Monica said bewildered. "He was right. You really can't see past your own nose!" Monica said folding her arms. "How easy would it have been for Ross to sit here every day seeing Joey with you and Emma and knowing that that's not him? I have no doubt in my mind that he loves you both, and that would have killed him!"
"You know what Monica? I think I've had my share of listening to the Geller's today. And you'll see. Joey and I will be happy. Happier than anyone else in this world!"
ONE YEAR LATER
Rachel sighed. Joey had just stared at another waitresses butt as she walked by. It was getting harder and harder for her to remember why she had said yes to Joey. She knew what he was like. And after a year and one month of dating, she couldn't help feeling suffocated and unhappy. But she would never tell the others. Rachel had become quite an actress. Pretending to be happily dating Joey. Rachel knew what they would say. They had been right, all along.
Joey was also Emma's friend. With her only contact with Ross being a few pictures and a check in the mail, Emma didn't know of anyone else. And Rachel knew that the reason why Emma and Ross didn't have one bit of a bond was because of her. And she resented that.
Rachel looked to Joey when the check came. Joey aid out a fifty and sighed.
"So, how was your day?" Rachel asked. That had been pretty much their only contact.
"Fine. Yours?" Joey asked, completely distracted by the same waitress. Rachel stared at that waitress too. She recognized her. It was Chloe. That woman from the Xerox place. Rachel felt her stomach shift. She looked back at Joey, whom looked like he was mentally undressing Chloe. Rachel scoffed and stood.
"I'll meet you at the apartment." She said. She smiled though. Not letting the world see the unhappiness that she was branded with by her own woeful fate. Once inside the apartment, however, she let out everything. Everything that was on her mind she drank away, in mixtures of rum and grenadine. She was a truly miserable person.
But then there was Emma. The apple of Rachel's eye. Emma was so much bigger now. Almost walking. She had Ross' hair. Black and curly. She had his smile too. Rachel would sit for hours watching Emma play. It reminded her of him. And that was one of the only places she found a safe haven.
Joey came in. Both were silent as if dreading to see one another.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hi." Rachel said back. She looked around the house, in total dismay of it's whereabouts.
"Uh, when I asked you to do the dishes, I meant this millennium." Rachel complained, walking towards the sink. Joey sighed an exasperated sigh.
"Sorry." He said. He began picking up around the apartment, cursing silently to himself. He was on the brink.
"Well, to make up for it, go get Emma from Mon's." Rachel said, not making eye contact. Joey stared at her, then walked out as if it were a chore.
Rachel looked at the calendar. It was Emma's first birthday tomorrow. Rachel had been waiting for this day for so long. Not only was she celebrating one full year of her daughter's well being, that was the day Ross was scheduled to come home. She had been practicing forever about what she was going to say to him. How he had been right and how naive she had been. But it wasn't that simple.
There was still Joey. She couldn't just abandon him but that was another thing Ross had been right about. She hadn't ever forced herself to truly love him. And that scared her. That scared her because that made her sure that there was really only one person for her. And that person had been there all along, she just hadn't seen it.
The door slamming made Rachel jump.
"H-hey Joey." Rachel said, feeling guilty of her recent thoughts.
"Hey." Joey smiled. He had Emma in his arms. Rachel took Emma from him.
"Hello, big girl!" Rachel smiled. "Say, 'thank you Uncle Joey!'" Rachel said to Emma. Joey looked at Rachel a bit hurtfully, but this went unnoticed. Emma's hair was in two pigtails and pink ribbons. Rachel sent herself a mental note to thank Phoebe for doing it. "Let's get to bed." Rachel said in a motherly tone, kissing Emma's soft curls. "Tomorrow, you get to see daddy." Rachel whispered.
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Ross stepped into the cool foyer of the Delta Airlines baggage claim. Luckily he had changed on the plane, remembering New York's cold weather. Even in the spring there was a slight chill and he was glad to have put on a warm coat over hit button up blue shirt. He adjusted his carry-on bag and set his tickets into his pocket before the loud buzz of the baggage claim conveyer belt began slowly taking the baggage to the waiting hands of the passengers. He saw his friend begin over to greet him. He was home.
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Rachel paced. Monica thought that if Rachel had paced any more there would have been a hole in the ground.
"Rach, relax. He's not due here for another 20 minutes." Chandler comforted. Rachel looked around. The pink streamers and the ballerina cake were all in order, and close family and the rest of the group minus Joey only occupied the room. Rachel checked her watch, and then laughed.
"What is my problem?" She asked to no one in particular. Rachel walked into Monica's room, soon emerging with a sleepy Emma in her arms.
"There's the birthday girl!" Monica smiled. But Emma just yawned and buried her face into Rachel's chest. Rachel set Emma on the couch and fixed her hair. Then, nonchalantly, Rachel fixed her own hair as well. That's when there was a knock at the door.
"I thought we had 20 minutes?" Rachel whispered.
"I guess they made good time." Monica whispered back. Rachel stood up quickly. Monica opened the door.
Phoebe walked in first, then Ross.
"Hi!" Monica greeted her brother, embracing him into a tight bear hug. Ross smiled and enveloped his sister.
"Hey." He greeted sincerely. He looked over at Chandler. "Hey!" He said to him. Chandler ambled over and hugged Ross also. Ross then looked to Rachel. Ross' gaze knocked into Rachel, causing her to have a short, hard, intake of breath.
"Hi." She greeted. Ross simply nodded from afar.
"Rachel." Was his greeting. That's when a little head popped out from behind the couch. Emma stared at him, trying to think about where she had seen his face. Ross brought his hand to his heart and 'awed.' "Emma!" He breathed. Emma smiled. Rachel couldn't believe that Emma somehow knew who Ross was.
"Daddy." She giggled. Rachel smiled. She had practiced with Emma over the pictures that she had stowed away of Ross and always pointed him out as daddy. Ross looked at Rachel, his heart melting over his little girl knowing who he was. And he knew that Rachel was the one he was to thank for that. He walked over to Emma and cradled her in his arms like he had wanted to do for so long. He had his baby. Once again, in a mix of emotions and the bliss of holding Emma, Ross caught Rachel's glace again, But this time, there was a brief if not subtle smile. Everything just felt OK.
That's when Joey came in. His eyes, piercing the floor. He had chosen to come to the party after all, even though he had decided with Rachel that he wouldn't. But Emma was important to him. Ross was the one to say it first.
"Hi Joey." He said, sincerely. Joey was taken off guard by how calmly Ross was reacting to Joey's presence. Joey flashed Ross a simple, signature "Joey half smile" as if to say, 'Are ya serious?"
"H-hey Ross." He said shakily.
"Joe, you act like you've seen a ghost." Ross said.
"Well, I just thought with the whole Rachel-" Joey began. But Ross cut him off laughing uneasily.
"H-h-hey now. We're all adults. Let's just put that behind us." Ross smiled back at Emma, whom hadn't let him let go. Ross looked at Rachel smiled a full smile this time, and the tension died as everyone listened to Ross tell tales of California and they all sang happy birthday to Emma.
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"Hey, Joe, she's getting sleepy. Can you put her to bed?" Rachel asked. Joey sighed as Rachel pried the little girl's sweaty head from her chest.
"Sure." He said, mumbling something to himself as he left. It was only Rachel and Ross now. Rachel exhaled.
"Ross, I want to talk to you." Rachel said after a long silence. Ross looked at her oddly.
"About what?" He asked.
"You know about what. I don't feel well about the ay we left things.."
"Well, I'm here now. Don't worry." But Rachel did worry. She worried about her eternity of unhappiness.
"Ross, you don't understand-"
"No, seriously Rach. Things have never been clearer. I realized in California that I was holding you back-"
"Ross-"
"While you could have had all this time to go and be happy, I was there, messing you up." Ross said. Rachel paused, and smiled. She didn't knew there was nothing more she could say.
"You're right. It's all better now. And I'm happy." She forced a smile.
There's a ship out on the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about
Lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God somehow you know that ship...is me.
Joey came in, he looked tired and confused.
"Uh, Rach. She wants you to come in and tuck her in." Joey said.
"Oh, right." Rachel said walking towards the door. Ross moved forward.
"Oh, c-can I come too? I want to kiss her goodnight. It's been forever since-" Ross asked.
"Sure." Rachel smiled. Joey felt it.
And there's a lighthouse on the harbor
Shining faithfully
Pouring it's light out
Across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes... in me.
Joey followed far behind, watching Ross and Rachel walk across the hall. He was examining their body language. The way she went out of her way to touch him. The way he touched her arm of smelled her hair. And it hurt. He felt like the third wheel, which is what he had become.
On a prayer
In a song
I hear your voice
And it keeps me hanging on
Oh, raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till we reach the circles end
And you come back to me again...
Emma, Ross and Rachel made a picture in Joey's mind that stuck there. They were a family. And he would never want to be the one that got in the way of a family. That's when he made his choice.
And you come back to me again
XOXOElizabethXOXO
When you come back to me again by Garth Brooks
CH2: When You Come Back To Me Again
"Rach, I heard the whole thing." Monica said, coming in the room towards her. Rachel wiped her eyes and sighed.
"Yea, well, what the Hell does he know?" Rachel asked huffily. "I can too love Joey." She said choking. Monica lowered her eyebrows and looked to Rachel as if to say, 'I don't think so.'
"I'm sorry." Monica said after Rachel reacted to the look. "Okay, sorry. It's just; your feelings came to a head right after you and Ross were going through another tough time. It just seems like Joey was second choice. Like he was someone to fall back on." Monica said truthfully. "And I really think Ross had a few good points." She added.
"Like what? How somewhere in there he labeled me as only caring about myself? How no one can love me?" Rachel asked as she started slamming stuff around in a fit of anger.
"No!" Monica said a bit annoyed. "That it's only a matter of time before Joey goes back to his old ways." Monica sighed. "And that Joey gets to be there while Ross isn't."
"Well, it was his choice to leave!" Rachel yelled.
"Oh my GOD!" Monica said bewildered. "He was right. You really can't see past your own nose!" Monica said folding her arms. "How easy would it have been for Ross to sit here every day seeing Joey with you and Emma and knowing that that's not him? I have no doubt in my mind that he loves you both, and that would have killed him!"
"You know what Monica? I think I've had my share of listening to the Geller's today. And you'll see. Joey and I will be happy. Happier than anyone else in this world!"
ONE YEAR LATER
Rachel sighed. Joey had just stared at another waitresses butt as she walked by. It was getting harder and harder for her to remember why she had said yes to Joey. She knew what he was like. And after a year and one month of dating, she couldn't help feeling suffocated and unhappy. But she would never tell the others. Rachel had become quite an actress. Pretending to be happily dating Joey. Rachel knew what they would say. They had been right, all along.
Joey was also Emma's friend. With her only contact with Ross being a few pictures and a check in the mail, Emma didn't know of anyone else. And Rachel knew that the reason why Emma and Ross didn't have one bit of a bond was because of her. And she resented that.
Rachel looked to Joey when the check came. Joey aid out a fifty and sighed.
"So, how was your day?" Rachel asked. That had been pretty much their only contact.
"Fine. Yours?" Joey asked, completely distracted by the same waitress. Rachel stared at that waitress too. She recognized her. It was Chloe. That woman from the Xerox place. Rachel felt her stomach shift. She looked back at Joey, whom looked like he was mentally undressing Chloe. Rachel scoffed and stood.
"I'll meet you at the apartment." She said. She smiled though. Not letting the world see the unhappiness that she was branded with by her own woeful fate. Once inside the apartment, however, she let out everything. Everything that was on her mind she drank away, in mixtures of rum and grenadine. She was a truly miserable person.
But then there was Emma. The apple of Rachel's eye. Emma was so much bigger now. Almost walking. She had Ross' hair. Black and curly. She had his smile too. Rachel would sit for hours watching Emma play. It reminded her of him. And that was one of the only places she found a safe haven.
Joey came in. Both were silent as if dreading to see one another.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hi." Rachel said back. She looked around the house, in total dismay of it's whereabouts.
"Uh, when I asked you to do the dishes, I meant this millennium." Rachel complained, walking towards the sink. Joey sighed an exasperated sigh.
"Sorry." He said. He began picking up around the apartment, cursing silently to himself. He was on the brink.
"Well, to make up for it, go get Emma from Mon's." Rachel said, not making eye contact. Joey stared at her, then walked out as if it were a chore.
Rachel looked at the calendar. It was Emma's first birthday tomorrow. Rachel had been waiting for this day for so long. Not only was she celebrating one full year of her daughter's well being, that was the day Ross was scheduled to come home. She had been practicing forever about what she was going to say to him. How he had been right and how naive she had been. But it wasn't that simple.
There was still Joey. She couldn't just abandon him but that was another thing Ross had been right about. She hadn't ever forced herself to truly love him. And that scared her. That scared her because that made her sure that there was really only one person for her. And that person had been there all along, she just hadn't seen it.
The door slamming made Rachel jump.
"H-hey Joey." Rachel said, feeling guilty of her recent thoughts.
"Hey." Joey smiled. He had Emma in his arms. Rachel took Emma from him.
"Hello, big girl!" Rachel smiled. "Say, 'thank you Uncle Joey!'" Rachel said to Emma. Joey looked at Rachel a bit hurtfully, but this went unnoticed. Emma's hair was in two pigtails and pink ribbons. Rachel sent herself a mental note to thank Phoebe for doing it. "Let's get to bed." Rachel said in a motherly tone, kissing Emma's soft curls. "Tomorrow, you get to see daddy." Rachel whispered.
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Ross stepped into the cool foyer of the Delta Airlines baggage claim. Luckily he had changed on the plane, remembering New York's cold weather. Even in the spring there was a slight chill and he was glad to have put on a warm coat over hit button up blue shirt. He adjusted his carry-on bag and set his tickets into his pocket before the loud buzz of the baggage claim conveyer belt began slowly taking the baggage to the waiting hands of the passengers. He saw his friend begin over to greet him. He was home.
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Rachel paced. Monica thought that if Rachel had paced any more there would have been a hole in the ground.
"Rach, relax. He's not due here for another 20 minutes." Chandler comforted. Rachel looked around. The pink streamers and the ballerina cake were all in order, and close family and the rest of the group minus Joey only occupied the room. Rachel checked her watch, and then laughed.
"What is my problem?" She asked to no one in particular. Rachel walked into Monica's room, soon emerging with a sleepy Emma in her arms.
"There's the birthday girl!" Monica smiled. But Emma just yawned and buried her face into Rachel's chest. Rachel set Emma on the couch and fixed her hair. Then, nonchalantly, Rachel fixed her own hair as well. That's when there was a knock at the door.
"I thought we had 20 minutes?" Rachel whispered.
"I guess they made good time." Monica whispered back. Rachel stood up quickly. Monica opened the door.
Phoebe walked in first, then Ross.
"Hi!" Monica greeted her brother, embracing him into a tight bear hug. Ross smiled and enveloped his sister.
"Hey." He greeted sincerely. He looked over at Chandler. "Hey!" He said to him. Chandler ambled over and hugged Ross also. Ross then looked to Rachel. Ross' gaze knocked into Rachel, causing her to have a short, hard, intake of breath.
"Hi." She greeted. Ross simply nodded from afar.
"Rachel." Was his greeting. That's when a little head popped out from behind the couch. Emma stared at him, trying to think about where she had seen his face. Ross brought his hand to his heart and 'awed.' "Emma!" He breathed. Emma smiled. Rachel couldn't believe that Emma somehow knew who Ross was.
"Daddy." She giggled. Rachel smiled. She had practiced with Emma over the pictures that she had stowed away of Ross and always pointed him out as daddy. Ross looked at Rachel, his heart melting over his little girl knowing who he was. And he knew that Rachel was the one he was to thank for that. He walked over to Emma and cradled her in his arms like he had wanted to do for so long. He had his baby. Once again, in a mix of emotions and the bliss of holding Emma, Ross caught Rachel's glace again, But this time, there was a brief if not subtle smile. Everything just felt OK.
That's when Joey came in. His eyes, piercing the floor. He had chosen to come to the party after all, even though he had decided with Rachel that he wouldn't. But Emma was important to him. Ross was the one to say it first.
"Hi Joey." He said, sincerely. Joey was taken off guard by how calmly Ross was reacting to Joey's presence. Joey flashed Ross a simple, signature "Joey half smile" as if to say, 'Are ya serious?"
"H-hey Ross." He said shakily.
"Joe, you act like you've seen a ghost." Ross said.
"Well, I just thought with the whole Rachel-" Joey began. But Ross cut him off laughing uneasily.
"H-h-hey now. We're all adults. Let's just put that behind us." Ross smiled back at Emma, whom hadn't let him let go. Ross looked at Rachel smiled a full smile this time, and the tension died as everyone listened to Ross tell tales of California and they all sang happy birthday to Emma.
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"Hey, Joe, she's getting sleepy. Can you put her to bed?" Rachel asked. Joey sighed as Rachel pried the little girl's sweaty head from her chest.
"Sure." He said, mumbling something to himself as he left. It was only Rachel and Ross now. Rachel exhaled.
"Ross, I want to talk to you." Rachel said after a long silence. Ross looked at her oddly.
"About what?" He asked.
"You know about what. I don't feel well about the ay we left things.."
"Well, I'm here now. Don't worry." But Rachel did worry. She worried about her eternity of unhappiness.
"Ross, you don't understand-"
"No, seriously Rach. Things have never been clearer. I realized in California that I was holding you back-"
"Ross-"
"While you could have had all this time to go and be happy, I was there, messing you up." Ross said. Rachel paused, and smiled. She didn't knew there was nothing more she could say.
"You're right. It's all better now. And I'm happy." She forced a smile.
There's a ship out on the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about
Lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God somehow you know that ship...is me.
Joey came in, he looked tired and confused.
"Uh, Rach. She wants you to come in and tuck her in." Joey said.
"Oh, right." Rachel said walking towards the door. Ross moved forward.
"Oh, c-can I come too? I want to kiss her goodnight. It's been forever since-" Ross asked.
"Sure." Rachel smiled. Joey felt it.
And there's a lighthouse on the harbor
Shining faithfully
Pouring it's light out
Across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes... in me.
Joey followed far behind, watching Ross and Rachel walk across the hall. He was examining their body language. The way she went out of her way to touch him. The way he touched her arm of smelled her hair. And it hurt. He felt like the third wheel, which is what he had become.
On a prayer
In a song
I hear your voice
And it keeps me hanging on
Oh, raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till we reach the circles end
And you come back to me again...
Emma, Ross and Rachel made a picture in Joey's mind that stuck there. They were a family. And he would never want to be the one that got in the way of a family. That's when he made his choice.
And you come back to me again
XOXOElizabethXOXO
When you come back to me again by Garth Brooks
