Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
"MATT! LIZZIE! GET UP! You're going to be late!"
Gordo was jostled from his bed by the sound of Mrs. McGuire bellowing, and he was so accustomed to his alarm clock waking him up that this change scared the heck out of him. Enough so that he tumbled out of bed.
He blinked around, confused. This was *not* his room. He got to his feet. Not his carpet. Not his bed. Not his mirror...and *definitely* not his body! Gordo blinked into the full-length mirror on the back of the door, which was far too vain an object for him to ever have in his room, but that was the least of his concerns because he was Matt McGuire.
Oh yeah. Jalapeno smoothies, body-switching...it was all coming back to him now. So he was still stuck in Matt's body. Frantic, he dialed his house, praying that his parents would be in the bathroom or something and wouldn't hear the phone.
One, two, three... "Hello?"
Gordo's own groggy voice flooded his ears. "I'm still you. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Say wha..?"
"Matt. It's Gordo. Remember Gordo? The one whose *body* you're currently in?"
A pause, and then came, "Oh, this can't be good." He sounded more awake this time around.
"I can't go to school like this!" Gordo said, suddenly frantic. "I can't go to elementary school, period!"
"Listen, listen, just find Melina and Lanny, and explain it to them. They'll watch out for you."
Suddenly the phone clicked, and Lizzie came on the line. After she didn't hear a dial tone, she huffed. "Matt! Get off the phone! This is important."
"You're calling CNN about your latest zit?" Matt said sarcastically.
Yet another pause, and Lizzie said confusedly, "Gordo?"
"Yeah?" Gordo and Matt chorused.
"Why're you on the phone with my doofy brother?"
"Oh! He, ah, he called for you, and I answered," Gordo covered quickly. "Um, bye." He hung up quickly. This was not shaping out to be a good morning, he thought, rummaging through Matt's closet.
~~~~~
Making conversation with his sister --*pleasant* conversation, no less-- was the last thing Matt felt like doing, but he wasn't left with much of a choice. "So, what's up?"
"Only, like, major crisis."
"Isn't everything a crisis with you?"
"Tomorrow's Miranda's *birthday*, Gordo, what are we supposed to do? Why didn't we think of this sooner? Why haven't we planned a huge surprise party or something?"
Miranda's birthday, huh..? This could be his big chance to prove that he wasn't just some obnoxious little kid, that he *was* the great kid she thought he was. Of course, still being in Gordo's body was hampering him slightly, but he'd work something out. He was Matt McGuire, after all. He *always* worked something out.
"Party planning isn't really my thing," he said, yawning. "You should know that by now."
"Well, it's not like I can ask *Miranda* about it," she said, and Matt knew his sister well enough to know that she was rolling her eyes right now.
"Okay, okay, fine, we'll figure something out at lunch today, all right? I'll see you later." Hanging up rather abruptly, Matt made a face. Great. Now he had to think up a birthday present for Miranda, *and* plan a party for her? He was only one man!
One thing Matt had to say about Gordo was that he had decent style. Very casual, very relaxed. Very not like Lizzie, which was good, because dressing like Lizzie had been a nightmare. Swallowing hard and steeling himself for uncomfortable confrontation, Matt went downstairs.
"Morning, David," Mr. Gordon said distractedly, hunched over a newspaper.
"Um, hey." Matt slunk into his seat.
"You aren't going to get breakfast, David?" Mrs. Gordon said, peering at him. "I, uh," Matt stammered, looking at her, and then looking where she was gesturing, at the cereal boxes on top of the fridge. "Oh. Breakfast. Yeah." Usually his mom made him breakfast, even pouring his cereal for him, so fending for himself wasn't something Matt was used to. He looked over his choices. Banana Nut Crunch, Bran Flakes...where were the Cocoa Puffs or Froot Loops? Matt made a face. Man, Gordo had it rough.
He scarfed down his banana-flavored cereal as quickly as he could, surprised at how...non-gross it was. Actually, it was pretty good. "Gotta catch the bus," he said, thanking whoever it was watching over him that made the Gordons non-conversational this morning. Or maybe every morning, he didn't know. "See you later."
"Have a good day, David," Mr. Gordon said, smiling at him over the top of the front page.
"Learn something new," Mrs. Gordon said.
"Don't I always?" Matt said, trying his best to channel his inner Gordo. Apparently this response was okay, even normal, because they just smiled at him as he left the room.
Lizzie pounced on him the second he got on the bus. "Okay, Gordo, answer me this. Does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"
Matt opened his mouth ready to tell her that yes, it did, and it also made the rest of her look wide, too (which wasn't true at all, but it would've frazzled her, as was Matt's goal in life), but then remembered at the last second who he was. Well, who he was supposed to be. "Lizzie, I'm your guy best friend. Ask Miranda."
Lizzie blew her bangs off her forehead. "Fiiiiine," she said exasperatedly. She knelt next to him and peered over the seat at Miranda. "Miranda, does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"
"No, your shoulders look fine," Miranda said. "And the color's really good for your skin tone."
"That's what the saleslady said when I bought it," Lizzie said, looking relieved and sinking back into her seat as the bus lurched to the school.
While the three of them waited at Miranda's locker for her to get her books, Lizzie toyed with her hair and said, "Did I tell you guys what happened last night after you left?" They shook their heads at her, and Matt wondered what Gordo had been doing with his body.
"Well, Matt came to my room and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with him. It was, like, *so* surreal." She paused then, a slight smile crossing her face. "But kind of fun. My little brother can be pretty cool sometimes. You know, when he's not being the Lord of the Geeks."
"I am--" Matt started to say, then shut up. Fortunately, neither of them had noticed.
"Yeah, he's not a total dweeb, right, Miranda?" Matt said, flashing Miranda a pointed look. To his pleasure, she blushed slightly.
"Right, right, not a total dweeb," she said, kicking him while Lizzie wasn't looking. "I told you, all things Matt stay between us," she hissed before they ducked in the classroom.
"As it should be," Matt muttered to himself, smirking.
~~~~~
Gordo wandered into the elementary school, looking around frantically for Matt's friends. He spotted them hanging out by the water fountain and dashed over. "Okay, I'm not really going to bother with pleasantries, because I don't have time for that. I'm not Matt."
They stared at him.
"I'm Gordo."
"Gordo as in Lizzie's friend Gordo?" Melina said.
"Yeah."
Lanny cocked his head to one side, and Gordo answered, "Yeah, I don't know *how* we did it, exactly, but we definitely did." Then he stopped dead. Had he just understood Lanny? Lanny hadn't actually spoken...
Had he?
Gordo shook his head, trying to clear it. "Anyway, Matt said you guys could help me fit in and attract as little attention as possible."
"Yeah, we can do it," Melina said, nodding. "When did this happen?"
"Yesterday afternoon. I ended up spending the night at the McGuires', and Matt went to my place."
Lanny looked at him. "Yeah, you're right, Lanny. It is like Freaky Friday. Matt didn't get me when I said that, though."
Again Gordo stared blankly at his best friend's-brother's-best-friend. This was just getting weirder and weirder.
As if that were even possible.
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
"MATT! LIZZIE! GET UP! You're going to be late!"
Gordo was jostled from his bed by the sound of Mrs. McGuire bellowing, and he was so accustomed to his alarm clock waking him up that this change scared the heck out of him. Enough so that he tumbled out of bed.
He blinked around, confused. This was *not* his room. He got to his feet. Not his carpet. Not his bed. Not his mirror...and *definitely* not his body! Gordo blinked into the full-length mirror on the back of the door, which was far too vain an object for him to ever have in his room, but that was the least of his concerns because he was Matt McGuire.
Oh yeah. Jalapeno smoothies, body-switching...it was all coming back to him now. So he was still stuck in Matt's body. Frantic, he dialed his house, praying that his parents would be in the bathroom or something and wouldn't hear the phone.
One, two, three... "Hello?"
Gordo's own groggy voice flooded his ears. "I'm still you. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Say wha..?"
"Matt. It's Gordo. Remember Gordo? The one whose *body* you're currently in?"
A pause, and then came, "Oh, this can't be good." He sounded more awake this time around.
"I can't go to school like this!" Gordo said, suddenly frantic. "I can't go to elementary school, period!"
"Listen, listen, just find Melina and Lanny, and explain it to them. They'll watch out for you."
Suddenly the phone clicked, and Lizzie came on the line. After she didn't hear a dial tone, she huffed. "Matt! Get off the phone! This is important."
"You're calling CNN about your latest zit?" Matt said sarcastically.
Yet another pause, and Lizzie said confusedly, "Gordo?"
"Yeah?" Gordo and Matt chorused.
"Why're you on the phone with my doofy brother?"
"Oh! He, ah, he called for you, and I answered," Gordo covered quickly. "Um, bye." He hung up quickly. This was not shaping out to be a good morning, he thought, rummaging through Matt's closet.
~~~~~
Making conversation with his sister --*pleasant* conversation, no less-- was the last thing Matt felt like doing, but he wasn't left with much of a choice. "So, what's up?"
"Only, like, major crisis."
"Isn't everything a crisis with you?"
"Tomorrow's Miranda's *birthday*, Gordo, what are we supposed to do? Why didn't we think of this sooner? Why haven't we planned a huge surprise party or something?"
Miranda's birthday, huh..? This could be his big chance to prove that he wasn't just some obnoxious little kid, that he *was* the great kid she thought he was. Of course, still being in Gordo's body was hampering him slightly, but he'd work something out. He was Matt McGuire, after all. He *always* worked something out.
"Party planning isn't really my thing," he said, yawning. "You should know that by now."
"Well, it's not like I can ask *Miranda* about it," she said, and Matt knew his sister well enough to know that she was rolling her eyes right now.
"Okay, okay, fine, we'll figure something out at lunch today, all right? I'll see you later." Hanging up rather abruptly, Matt made a face. Great. Now he had to think up a birthday present for Miranda, *and* plan a party for her? He was only one man!
One thing Matt had to say about Gordo was that he had decent style. Very casual, very relaxed. Very not like Lizzie, which was good, because dressing like Lizzie had been a nightmare. Swallowing hard and steeling himself for uncomfortable confrontation, Matt went downstairs.
"Morning, David," Mr. Gordon said distractedly, hunched over a newspaper.
"Um, hey." Matt slunk into his seat.
"You aren't going to get breakfast, David?" Mrs. Gordon said, peering at him. "I, uh," Matt stammered, looking at her, and then looking where she was gesturing, at the cereal boxes on top of the fridge. "Oh. Breakfast. Yeah." Usually his mom made him breakfast, even pouring his cereal for him, so fending for himself wasn't something Matt was used to. He looked over his choices. Banana Nut Crunch, Bran Flakes...where were the Cocoa Puffs or Froot Loops? Matt made a face. Man, Gordo had it rough.
He scarfed down his banana-flavored cereal as quickly as he could, surprised at how...non-gross it was. Actually, it was pretty good. "Gotta catch the bus," he said, thanking whoever it was watching over him that made the Gordons non-conversational this morning. Or maybe every morning, he didn't know. "See you later."
"Have a good day, David," Mr. Gordon said, smiling at him over the top of the front page.
"Learn something new," Mrs. Gordon said.
"Don't I always?" Matt said, trying his best to channel his inner Gordo. Apparently this response was okay, even normal, because they just smiled at him as he left the room.
Lizzie pounced on him the second he got on the bus. "Okay, Gordo, answer me this. Does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"
Matt opened his mouth ready to tell her that yes, it did, and it also made the rest of her look wide, too (which wasn't true at all, but it would've frazzled her, as was Matt's goal in life), but then remembered at the last second who he was. Well, who he was supposed to be. "Lizzie, I'm your guy best friend. Ask Miranda."
Lizzie blew her bangs off her forehead. "Fiiiiine," she said exasperatedly. She knelt next to him and peered over the seat at Miranda. "Miranda, does this shirt make my shoulders look too wide?"
"No, your shoulders look fine," Miranda said. "And the color's really good for your skin tone."
"That's what the saleslady said when I bought it," Lizzie said, looking relieved and sinking back into her seat as the bus lurched to the school.
While the three of them waited at Miranda's locker for her to get her books, Lizzie toyed with her hair and said, "Did I tell you guys what happened last night after you left?" They shook their heads at her, and Matt wondered what Gordo had been doing with his body.
"Well, Matt came to my room and asked if I wanted to play Monopoly with him. It was, like, *so* surreal." She paused then, a slight smile crossing her face. "But kind of fun. My little brother can be pretty cool sometimes. You know, when he's not being the Lord of the Geeks."
"I am--" Matt started to say, then shut up. Fortunately, neither of them had noticed.
"Yeah, he's not a total dweeb, right, Miranda?" Matt said, flashing Miranda a pointed look. To his pleasure, she blushed slightly.
"Right, right, not a total dweeb," she said, kicking him while Lizzie wasn't looking. "I told you, all things Matt stay between us," she hissed before they ducked in the classroom.
"As it should be," Matt muttered to himself, smirking.
~~~~~
Gordo wandered into the elementary school, looking around frantically for Matt's friends. He spotted them hanging out by the water fountain and dashed over. "Okay, I'm not really going to bother with pleasantries, because I don't have time for that. I'm not Matt."
They stared at him.
"I'm Gordo."
"Gordo as in Lizzie's friend Gordo?" Melina said.
"Yeah."
Lanny cocked his head to one side, and Gordo answered, "Yeah, I don't know *how* we did it, exactly, but we definitely did." Then he stopped dead. Had he just understood Lanny? Lanny hadn't actually spoken...
Had he?
Gordo shook his head, trying to clear it. "Anyway, Matt said you guys could help me fit in and attract as little attention as possible."
"Yeah, we can do it," Melina said, nodding. "When did this happen?"
"Yesterday afternoon. I ended up spending the night at the McGuires', and Matt went to my place."
Lanny looked at him. "Yeah, you're right, Lanny. It is like Freaky Friday. Matt didn't get me when I said that, though."
Again Gordo stared blankly at his best friend's-brother's-best-friend. This was just getting weirder and weirder.
As if that were even possible.
