She remembered this Safe House. It was the one that she had taken Agent
Lennox to. Dixon led the way into a bedroom.
"You can rest here if you want." He said, looking at her questioningly. She shook her head.
"Thanks, Dixon. You know my friend Will?" She asked as he walked to leave the room. She knew that he had known Will. But at this point, after everything, she just wasn't sure of much. Dixon looked her in the eye and then looked away.
"Sydney you should rest now. There will be plenty of time for answers later." He closed the door.
Normally Sydney would have argued. But she was tired. She was drained emotionally, physically, and mentally. She was glad to have Dixon's support. And she was ever so grateful, that he'd been there in Hong Kong to meet her. However, she needed more than Dixon.
Sydney thought about the people in her life; the men in her life. Dixon, Will, her father.Vaughn. With Francie gone... (or dead?), and her mother gone as well, all that she had left were these men. All of them loved her unconditionally. They had all been her reason to live, fight. her reason for letting herself love again. Will had been there since college. He had been a great person to talk with, hang out with, and just have fun with. Vaughn had said that he was "okay", but Sydney longed to see him. Will was solid. A rock that had never wavered. He had found out about her status as a double agent, he had fought along side her at the CIA, he had been there for her through battles with her father, with Slone. She remembered the way he had always asked after her cell phone rang: "good guys or bad guys?" Sydney really just wanted to see his happy smile, his bright questioning eyes, and most of all she just wanted to hold him for a moment. She wanted to make sure that he'd made it intact through all the shit of the last ..two years, that had felt like two days. She needed to make sure he was real. Sydney realized that in her mind Will should be in the hospital. She should be visiting him in ICU, not wondering if he too had been married in her absence.
Dixon hadn't changed much while she was gone, at least externally. He was the same old calm, composed, great agent he had always been. But he was still the sensitive, father figure she knew and loved. He was a good man. Sydney never doubted that she could trust him. He had never failed her. He was there when Danny died, and she was there when Diane died. They were true partners, and she loved him for that.
As she lay down to sleep, Sydney realized that she wanted more that anything to see her father. This man had been such a paradox to her. He'd lied, cheated, stolen.done despicable things, but he had always loved her. She had, for a long time, doubted that. She had hated him for training her as a spy; for setting up her mother in Madagascar; for not being the father she so desperately needed. But, she knew, that everything he had ever done had been for her. Her safety and happiness were almost always his number one priorities. That was the constant she found in him, along with his uncompromising sense of objectivity and precision. She counted on his support and good sense.
She had never realized before how alike her father and Vaughn were. Sydney forced herself to remember what he was like.before. He was always looking out for her. He was her handler. Her guardian angel. Her ally. Like her father, he always wanted what was best for her. They were thrown together in the wake of SD-6, but there feelings for each other were never just physical attraction. There was something between them, so deep that neither had ever ventured to name or describe it. She loved working with him, talking with him, playing hockey, just sitting in silence with him; she loved making love to him, and waking up with him in the morning. She wasn't sure just how she could miss something so much, when in her world, it had been only a few days since they were together. Only "yesterday" they were planning a vacation to Santa Barbra. She had never seen him so ..so incredibly distant. She wondered if it was because of her, or because. or because being with her made him want to be with someone else.his wife? Was is guilt she saw in his eyes. or was he only the shell of the man she once..she still loved.
Yes, she did still love him. The tears seemed to run faster when she realized she had never told him as much. Why hadn't they ever uttered those words to each other? She knew it, she even knew that he knew.had known it. That was it. What she saw in his eyes was the same thing that was causing her to cry so hysterically. He was in mourning; as she was now. He mourned not her death, but the loss of the thing they had both cherished above everything.before. They had broken rules, and policy, and protocol. They had lost the thing they had resisted for a long time, and had realized for such a short time. They hadn't lost each other..he had found her. They had lost what was between them. The binding force that had once pulled them together against any resistance, and now left and endless, empty chasm of unforgiving despair. Yes, they were both alive. But love was just another casualty to the black hole.
"You can rest here if you want." He said, looking at her questioningly. She shook her head.
"Thanks, Dixon. You know my friend Will?" She asked as he walked to leave the room. She knew that he had known Will. But at this point, after everything, she just wasn't sure of much. Dixon looked her in the eye and then looked away.
"Sydney you should rest now. There will be plenty of time for answers later." He closed the door.
Normally Sydney would have argued. But she was tired. She was drained emotionally, physically, and mentally. She was glad to have Dixon's support. And she was ever so grateful, that he'd been there in Hong Kong to meet her. However, she needed more than Dixon.
Sydney thought about the people in her life; the men in her life. Dixon, Will, her father.Vaughn. With Francie gone... (or dead?), and her mother gone as well, all that she had left were these men. All of them loved her unconditionally. They had all been her reason to live, fight. her reason for letting herself love again. Will had been there since college. He had been a great person to talk with, hang out with, and just have fun with. Vaughn had said that he was "okay", but Sydney longed to see him. Will was solid. A rock that had never wavered. He had found out about her status as a double agent, he had fought along side her at the CIA, he had been there for her through battles with her father, with Slone. She remembered the way he had always asked after her cell phone rang: "good guys or bad guys?" Sydney really just wanted to see his happy smile, his bright questioning eyes, and most of all she just wanted to hold him for a moment. She wanted to make sure that he'd made it intact through all the shit of the last ..two years, that had felt like two days. She needed to make sure he was real. Sydney realized that in her mind Will should be in the hospital. She should be visiting him in ICU, not wondering if he too had been married in her absence.
Dixon hadn't changed much while she was gone, at least externally. He was the same old calm, composed, great agent he had always been. But he was still the sensitive, father figure she knew and loved. He was a good man. Sydney never doubted that she could trust him. He had never failed her. He was there when Danny died, and she was there when Diane died. They were true partners, and she loved him for that.
As she lay down to sleep, Sydney realized that she wanted more that anything to see her father. This man had been such a paradox to her. He'd lied, cheated, stolen.done despicable things, but he had always loved her. She had, for a long time, doubted that. She had hated him for training her as a spy; for setting up her mother in Madagascar; for not being the father she so desperately needed. But, she knew, that everything he had ever done had been for her. Her safety and happiness were almost always his number one priorities. That was the constant she found in him, along with his uncompromising sense of objectivity and precision. She counted on his support and good sense.
She had never realized before how alike her father and Vaughn were. Sydney forced herself to remember what he was like.before. He was always looking out for her. He was her handler. Her guardian angel. Her ally. Like her father, he always wanted what was best for her. They were thrown together in the wake of SD-6, but there feelings for each other were never just physical attraction. There was something between them, so deep that neither had ever ventured to name or describe it. She loved working with him, talking with him, playing hockey, just sitting in silence with him; she loved making love to him, and waking up with him in the morning. She wasn't sure just how she could miss something so much, when in her world, it had been only a few days since they were together. Only "yesterday" they were planning a vacation to Santa Barbra. She had never seen him so ..so incredibly distant. She wondered if it was because of her, or because. or because being with her made him want to be with someone else.his wife? Was is guilt she saw in his eyes. or was he only the shell of the man she once..she still loved.
Yes, she did still love him. The tears seemed to run faster when she realized she had never told him as much. Why hadn't they ever uttered those words to each other? She knew it, she even knew that he knew.had known it. That was it. What she saw in his eyes was the same thing that was causing her to cry so hysterically. He was in mourning; as she was now. He mourned not her death, but the loss of the thing they had both cherished above everything.before. They had broken rules, and policy, and protocol. They had lost the thing they had resisted for a long time, and had realized for such a short time. They hadn't lost each other..he had found her. They had lost what was between them. The binding force that had once pulled them together against any resistance, and now left and endless, empty chasm of unforgiving despair. Yes, they were both alive. But love was just another casualty to the black hole.
