He had to go into CIA operations for a meeting with Kendall. He was dreading it, but somewhere in the back of his mind he was hoping to get a chance to see Sydney again. Alice was working so he was on his way to take Caleb to his mother's house. After dropping the baby off he headed to Ops. Once there he'd debriefed on his mission to Hong Kong to retrieve Sydney and then waited to talk to Kendall.

"Michael Vaughn." Kendall's voice deliberately sounded condescending.

"Assistant Director Kendall, nice to see you again."

"Yes, well Vaughn you were a good agent I wish we were still seeing each other on a regular basis." He egged Vaughn on knowing that he'd never return to the CIA.

"Are you ready to meet?"

"Yes please come in." Kendall led the way into his spacious office, and offered Vaughn a chair.

They talked about the "mission" to get Sydney from Hong Kong. Kendall kept rambling on about their fruitless search efforts. How he couldn't believe that they. he hadn't found her. He'd obviously given up hope long ago, that she was still alive.

"Well Vaughn, thank you for your help on this one. I know it was good for Sydney to have you there in Hong Kong. I know it must have been difficult for you.. and all. Thank you for meeting with me, I hope we'll see you around here soon."

The two men stood up and shock hands over the desk. Vaughn said goodbye and opened the door to leave when Kendall caught him off-guard.

"Vaughn, Sydney's talking with Dr. Barnett right now, but she should be done here any minute."

Vaughn shut the door behind him, and stopped before going any further. Without thinking he found his way to Dr. Barnett's office and sat down in the chair across the hall from her door. From there he could hear faint sounds of a conversation. He checked his watch. He'd told his mother he'd pick Caleb up before four, but it was already quarter 'till, and he would be late if he left now anyway. As the hour drew near three security agents made their way to the door to the office. They had been sitting just a few feet away but obviously were ready to escort Sydney from her appointment. Then she came out.

Now they sat in Vaughn's mother's living room. He'd agreed to explain. She'd agreed not to interrupt.

He started at the beginning.

There was a time when he thought that it would be easier believing she was dead. It was less difficult to believe that. Better, at least, than having to accept that he wasn't able to find her. Easier than admitting that he had failed her. There were two options: either she was dead, or she didn't want him to find her. That was the only way he could rationalize it. And now that she was dead, he could mourn. Well, not really. He tried to mourn but in doing so all of his rationalizing went down the toilet. He couldn't mourn her. Not while he was still dreaming about her slipping into his bed one night, secretly coming home to him. He had dreams about her for a long time after she was gone. Not always good, but always about her. Many times he'd woken in a hot sweat after dreaming about unknown kidnappers torturing her. Other times he'd woken smiling and then reached to her side of the bed, only to find it cold.

After he'd left the CIA he'd not been able to sleep. He couldn't stand the dreams. It all just hurt too much. But the alcohol helped. He didn't dream when he was passed out. He'd tried pot, and some more potent stuff, but the narcotics made him see her during the day. So it was the alcohol. For weeks he didn't eat, or see anyone. He went out to buy booze, and drank it. And then came the day when it was all just too much. This day he woke up totally sober, and there wasn't a drop of alcohol to be found in the house. He went to the store but it was too early. He stalked home and opened the pantry: empty. Fridge: empty. Cabinet: bottle of Alieve. So he took it. The entire bottle. After that the only thing he could remember was sitting down to watch The Simpsons.

Then he woke up in the hospital. Apparently his mother had decided to pay him an unexpected visit, and had found him on the sofa, in a pile of his own vomit. He didn't have very many visitors in the hospital. The doctor came often though, most of the time badgering him about his liver. Evidently all the booze had really messed it up, and he needed to be careful. His mother came often. Weiss came too, and a few other co-workers. Then one day out of the blue Alice came to visit him. She had said that his mother had called her. She was happy to see he was alright. He'd joked about her always being there when he was in the hospital. But that reminded him of 'her' so he'd asked Alice to leave.

After his recovery, they'd met for coffee a few times. It was comforting for him to go back into the life he had before 'her'. Alice never asked about any of it. Never once had she asked why he took the pills, or stopped working. She was nice that way, never too many questions. And one day he'd taken her home, and they'd had sex, and he'd hated it the entire time. It wasn't "making love" it was more like something to do. Afterward he felt like he'd betrayed 'her'. He couldn't bare the thought of having to explain it, if she ever came back. It was mean of him, but he didn't call. She did instead. She called to tell him that she was pregnant. He was shocked to get the call two months after their one night together. He wasn't going to leave her hanging this time, though. He began seeing her again, seriously. And within a month they decided to get married. She loved him, and she knew he didn't feel the same.

And so that was how it happened. Not six months after 'she' had disappeared, he was married, and had a baby on the way. And now two years late, he was married to a woman he didn't love, he worked in a job that he despised, and he had just had his world shattered. He did, however, have one thing in his life that he valued. Caleb, was the only thing he lived for now. He was almost one now, and he was Vaughn's pride and joy. That little man was the reason for the gold band, and the reason for all the pain 'she' was going through. No, he was. Michael Vaughn, had hurt Sydney, not Caleb.

He wondered if he would ever be able to introduce Caleb to Sydney. He would like her, no doubt. She would have been a wonderful mother. But he couldn't think about that right now. He had to focus on Caleb. He was the most important thing in the world.

So now there was another thing in this world, that to him, was equally important to Caleb. She was here now. He couldn't pretend like that didn't mean all that it did.

There she was sitting across the room on an opposite couch. Caleb played on a blanket in between them. Vaughn sat on the floor next top him, leaning back against the couch. Every once in a while Vaughn had interrupted his story to reposition Caleb on the blanket. As he did this she noticed how gentle he was with Caleb. He was talking about tying to commit suicide, and he ever so gently picked up Caleb, careful to support his head, and put him back down by his toys. He was a great father.