AN: I have never read Ward, I have no intention of reading Ward. While some aspects of this story will use several concepts that were introduced in Ward, my knowledge of them are mostly just from osmosis and people talking about it or tvtropes as, again, I have not read Ward. Please don't bother pointing out or looking for inaccuracies with Ward; this is not meant to be consistent with Ward. Also, the backstory has a slight divergence from canon, mostly that Lisa still has her scar from Jack Slash.

/\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\

We All Fall Down - Yet We All Try to Stand Again

"Must we play this dance yet again, Tattletale?" Teacher mocked me. Or tried to at least, he was pretty pathetic at banter.

I rolled my eyes, the easy, mocking smirk coming to me without a thought. I had practiced it for so long that it was second nature to me now. I had to fight to keep it down. A useful little trick for situations like this. Downright annoying as soon as the mask came off and I went back home.

Home.

I was so tired of playing this game. I didn't want the responsibility of keeping this damn city from crumbling under its own weight. I just wanted to go home. But I couldn't go home. Not yet. The clock hadn't struck 5pm yet.

"You know, Teach, I think you might be right," I drawled. I spun my baton, never letting my smirk waver as I leaned against the wall. I'd learned this trick from her. She'd always been so much better at being casually terrifying than me. The baton was hers too. She couldn't use it anymore… It was only right that it kept pulling its weight.

"Oh? Well now, that's a first. Shall we agree to split the city then?" The asinine asshole asked arrogantly; I was surprised he had the balls for that. "I take the east and you take the west? I can't believe that you would ever actually go for something like that, but then I have been surprised in the past."

Oh, like when Dragon killed herself to let her boyfriend fully reboot her to escape you? Or like when Contessa literally waltzed into your lap like an idiot?

My lip twitched as I tried not to remember how much I needed to put a bullet in that fedora-hatted bitch's head. At least she wasn't a problem anymore. Who knew that her girlfriend had kept her focused?

My power whispered to me, but I ignored it. Yes, yes, I knew that women were distracting. One only had to watch Lily for five minutes to know that simple fact.

But still, that Contessa had been so laser-focused while Alexandria was around and then lost it so quickly after hitting her dead lover's goal… I shouldn't complain, Contessa's listlessness kept her far out of my path and that was what was important. That was all that was important. I couldn't actually kill Contessa, as much as I wanted to, but this worked as a suitable punishment. It was better to keep that self-righteous stick in reserve anyway. Just in case.

Just in case…

This was all so exhausting

"Your heart does not appear to be invested in our tête-à-tête, shall we adjourn or should I just summon my Dragonslayer and call it a day while he does his level best to kill you and you do your best to pretend you don't know how to take his suit apart at the seams?"

I kept the baton twirling around my hand as I pretended to consider his offer, the phone in my utility pouch vibrating softly. Right on time. Perfect. Now I didn't have to pretend to put up with this fucker anymore.

"Counter offer!" I held my free hand up to the corner of my lips, touching my scar. His flinch back was nearly imperceptible, but to me it was a beacon. Thank you Jack Slash for providing yet another weapon for my arsenal.

Only she had ever avoided flinching when I had deliberately called attention to it. Because that was just who she was. She never saw my body. She only saw me. Lisa. Sarah. I could have called myself Steve for all it would have mattered to her.

Contessa, Legend, Bonesaw, Amelia… I would burn them all to the ground. One day. Not today. But one day. One day…

"How about… You leave the city. No! You leave this Earth! Forever! And I don't arrange to have you locked away in a world with no exits. Also forever!"

Teacher snorted. He stood up straight and raised an eyebrow as he stared across the street, meeting my gaze. "Tattletale, please. We both know that you would be inconceivably bored without me here to throw wrenches into your plans. I enjoy our games. Trying to determine who is going to come out on top, who will win the most influence, who will control the underworld; it's all so much fun!"

He actually meant that. I narrowed my eyes as I took in his eagerness and his wide grin. It almost made this hurt a bit. Almost.

"The Birdcage really did a number on you didn't it? Not enough smart folk in there to push against? They all died too quickly so you had to make do with dumb muscle and crazy bitches?"

His lip twitched in a half grimace before he managed to school his face. Yup, I'd hit a nerve. Ah well, lucky for him, I wasn't going to be able to poke it with fire.

"I do enjoy being able to stretch my legs against someone who pushes back with equal enthusiasm and competence," his charm was effective. I could almost see why he had followers. He wasn't even that creepy compared to some of the others I'd had to squash.

But he was tearing the stability down. He was trying to drag everyone back and I wasn't going to let that happen. I needed this place to be stable. Or I needed a cabin in the woods. No, no no no. I couldn't start thinking like that again. That was a bad thought. I'd tried that and it had ended poorly.

"Well, in that case, I do hope you find some pleasant people to occupy you." I stopped twirling the baton, catching it and bringing it up to my head in a brief salute. Teacher frowned, his mouth opening - no doubt to call for his minions - before Antares dropped onto him from the skies above, knocking him out with a single punch.

Sliding my baton back into its loop on my belt, I sauntered across the street to her, my hand lifted in a cheerful wave. "Yo, Glory! Excellent timing as usual."

Antares glared at me. "Seriously? Again? How many times do I have to tell you to -"

"At least once more. Obviously!" My smirk fell away and I dropped my gaze to the prone man between us. "I emailed you a document with his sleeper agents and I forwarded Defiant and Dragon the information on where Saint has the last of her tech. Just promise me that you're going to drop him into - hell I can't even remember the name - Sin? Is it Earth Sin now?"

"I think that's the official designation," Antares murmured. "We should just be executing them now. Exile seems cruel."

I slumped, letting my chin fall to rest on my chest and my eyes drift closed. "It is. That's why the bosses set it up, you know? 'Walk the right path, or you'll wish we killed you.' I will never understand why you people follow those assholes' lead."

Antares' hand squeezed on my shoulder. It was a strangely comforting gesture for someone who supposedly still mostly hated me.

My power whispered, but I pushed it aside. Once upon a time, it wouldn't have taken that lying down. It had grown, learned from me, learned with me. Maybe that was because I was so close to her? Maybe whatever she had done to get so close to her passenger had also affected mine? Maybe, maybe, maybe. I hated maybes.

"Do you even count as a villain anymore Tattletale?" Antares' soft voice cut through my musing, her hand still on my shoulder. I brushed it off and stepped back, my smirk back on my face before I finished lifting my chin.

"Of course I do! I run this city, don't you know?"

"Yeah? And what exactly do you do with it then? Except make sure to tell me or Defiant about all of the actual villains that come close?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Careful, Glory."

"You could do so much more good if you stopped pretending and just worked openly with us." I arced my back and started to draw in a great gulp of air. She held up her hands and shook her head. "Okay, I said my piece. It's not like I'm exactly a poster child for working with the system either."

"Got that right at least. How's your sister by the way?"

Antares breathed in deep, held it for a count of three, and let it out slowly. "I'm not going to rise to that. I know you are just pushing because I did. I'm sorry. The status quo is fine."

"Damn right it is." I turned on my heel and started to waltz away, making sure my hips swayed. I made it three steps before Antares called out to me again.

"You know, you can just retire, Tattletale. We can find these guys ourselves. Or you can always just shoot me the details on PHO or something. Or stop by for coffee - like a normal person."

I paused mid-step, my eyes squeezing shut and my breath hitching. A quiet life. Coffee and tea, like regular folk. Heh, that was the dream wasn't it? It was a nice dream.

"I think we both know that you'd be too scared to really make that work, Antares," I replied, the weariness seeping into my voice.

I was walking away again when she spoke one last time. I was even that I wasn't entirely sure I heard her right. "You'd be surprised what I can deal with. Remember, Tattletale, the invitation is open."

It was a nice dream, but it was just a dream.

/\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\

The door to the house closed behind me, my little slice of sanctuary bursting to life in all its glorious detail.

"I'm home!"

"Lisa?" Her voice almost echoed through the hallways, but I'd designed it well. Little known - little utilized - use of my power, apparently I was a fabulous architect. She was in the greenhouse.

To the untrained ear her voice would have sounded perfectly happy, pleasant, eager even. Except I knew her, I knew her moods, I knew her tones, I knew her inflections.

Today was a bad day. Dammit. I shouldn't have left to go after Teacher. I'd had a feeling today would suck after we woke up. I should have stayed home and just called Vicky or sent her an email. I'd left her sitting here, stewing for hours with nothing to distract her except bugs she could barely feel and a dog that didn't understand why its master got upset.

I knew better than this!

"Hey, yeah, it's me," I said, shrugging out of my coat as I stepped into the greenhouse. She looked up at me, her lips stretched into a grin that didn't reach her eyes. "A, spinach."

Taylor stood, her long, sinewy legs uncoiling from beneath her, her arm falling to her side to hover at her hip - next to her concealed gun. She still had enough of a sense of nearby bugs to be better at aiming than she would be jumping around in a fight close up, so guns were just better for her than batons.

Not that Taylor should be fighting. Three years on and it was a struggle sometimes to put on shirts without needing help. Her coordination was steadily improving, but it was slow going, and anything that required close-quarters combat would be a death sentence for sure.

Passenger assistance would -

I shushed my power. I didn't need it to tell me that Taylor's partner would take over in a fight if it came to it. We both knew it. It was one of many reasons she was 'retired'. No one wanted to risk her partner sliding back into the driver's seat and staying there.

Striding towards me, Taylor leaned forward, extending her hand to cover my face. I left my own arms down by my sides, clearly visible, palms towards her, fingers spread wide. Taylor's digits played over my cheeks, my lips, my eyes, and finally ran through my hair. Only then did the tension in her shoulders drain. Only then did her smile spread to her full face.

"C, broccoli. Welcome home, Lisa." Taylor leaned against me, breathing in my strawberry perfume and wrapping her arm around my shoulder. I squeezed her just as hard in return and we stayed there for an eternity.

Then she pulled away and went back to the chaise she had been sitting on. "Sorry," she murmured as she sat.

I dropped beside her, curling up into her side. "What are you apologizing for, Tay? If I was going to get annoyed that you can't recognize my face all the time, I feel like that would have happened a few years ago."

She looked at the terrarium across from her, safely ensconced in the leaves of one of the plants. "I know. I mean, I know, but… I don't know. It's just… It's frustrating. I've been looking things up. This isn't how face blindness works. I shouldn't be able to touch you and… It's frustrating is all."

"I get it." I didn't. Not really. But I understood the need to be trying to fix something and not having the ability to do so. Or even the slightest idea of where to start. That I understood very well. "And hey! You were reading right? That's an improvement."

"Text-to-speech," she grunted. "I couldn't remember half the words today."

It didn't take much effort to hide my wince. Taylor's memory and speech problems were less frequent than they used to be, but they weren't rare. "Well that's what they make laptops and e-readers for, babe."

"I miss paper books," Taylor murmured. She leaned against me, the stump of her right arm resting on my shoulders and pulling me closer to her.

"We got an invite to tea and coffee with Victoria," I said. The topic switch was jarring, no transition, no lead up, no subtlety. Yet, sometimes with Taylor, that was the best way to get her mind off of things she shouldn't have to dwell on.

True to form, Taylor's head snapped to the side, and I could feel her sharp gaze boring into me. "What?"

"Victoria. Vicky. Glory Girl. Antares now. She invited us to meet for drinks and just… talk I suppose. I didn't really psychoanalyze it. I was more interested in just getting home."

"She hates me. They all hate me. They should. Even though they all think I'm dead. I should be dead." Taylor's voice trailed off as her head lifted and she stared at the terrarium, the spiders inside it starting to run in small circles. "Why aren't I dead? I was… staring at the stars…"

Damn. Today was a bad day.

"How about we go inside? We can throw on The Princess Bride and I can make shitty impressions of Vizzini."

"We were small… And Contessa was asking questions…"

That bitch was going to fucking burn. I wasn't able to hide my scowl as I squeezed Taylor tightly, tight enough I probably affected her breathing for a moment. Not all of this was caused by Bonesaw and Amelia. Not all of this was Passenger bleedover trauma. A not-insignificant chunk was straight up brain damage that the rest was simply making harder to heal. Because of two fucking bullets. I was going to fucking figure out a way to kill the boogeyman.

Five more minutes, and the fairy bitch could have fixed Taylor. Ten more and I would have been able to get Amelia to do it. Twenty - tops - and I could have had Bonesaw begging me to let her help. Instead: brain surgery with a gun. I knew why she had done it. It was revenge, pure and simple. Revenge for Alexandria.

It didn't change anything - I still wanted to kill her. I wanted to kill her and then, just for good measure, I wanted to destroy Legend too. A double knock-out of the surviving Cauldron motherfuckers one and all.

Taylor shook, her whole body shuddering and she sucked in a breath, the spiders going back to their normal wanderings. Slumping bonelessly against the back of the chaise, Taylor stared listlessly at the glass above her. "Fuck, I was spiraling again, wasn't I?"

"Nah, just bad memories, hon. Come on, let's go inside. I'll make popcorn and we can watch Westley be badass and Buttercup be useless."

I stood, but didn't make it a single step before Taylor's hand was clamped onto my wrist holding me in place. Making sure my wide, warm smile was firmly in place, I faced her. "What's up?"

Taylor's expression rivaled anything she used to have when dealing with Accord or Coil. There wasn't a trace of emotion on her features at all; which was pretty impressive considering that she couldn't emote through her swarm anymore. "Why do you stay with me, Lisa? I'm not getting any better. I have more bad days than good ones. I can't even recognize you without touching you half the time. I don't remember how to read, how to write, I can't even dress myself sometimes. You deserve better than a -" she paused, a frown crossing her face for an instant. I started to interject, but she continued before I was able to say anything, "- an empty shell. I should have died."

"No," I snapped. My power whispered about how it was beneficial to let her vent, but I didn't care. I refused to let her start down that particular path.

"I became what I despised. It was a full circle. It was a good end. This is - I'm just a burden on you and -"

"Don't ever say -" I dropped to my knees and placed my hands on her cheeks so that she couldn't look away as I stared into her eyes. "Taylor Hebert, you are not a burden. You have a permanent injury, if you want to call it a disability, fine, call it that. But you are not a burden. So what if you have good days and bad days? We all do. On my bad days, I come within inches of giving people mental breakdowns just by talking in their general direction! On your bad days you get mopey and introspective and need help reading."

"That's not -"

"If you think helping you get your shirt on is an inconvenience, then Taylor, we are never having kids because those little monsters will be straight out of hell for you."

"I'm not saying -"

"So what if you need to touch me to feel safe and secure that I'm me?! I don't care! Taylor, look at me! I've been right here, next to you this whole time and I haven't run away. If you had any habits that squicked me out, don't you think I would have pulled away already? Don't you think that my power would have brought up all of the nasty little secrets and routines that I couldn't stand?"

"I guess that makes sense -"

"I like you touching me, Taylor. I like feeling your hand on my face. I like that you don't shy away from my scar."

"But -"

"No 'buts.' I'll grant you, Skitter, Weaver, Khepri, they all might have died with Scion. But Taylor Hebert, the woman I love, she survived. She's hurt, but she's still kicking and screaming and showing the world how badass she is. So many people would have given up. So many people would have looked at what they lost and sank into despair. But you, you kept going. And now, look at what you can do, Taylor! You're still here. You might not improve more, but you are fucking awesome and I won't hear otherwise. You got it?!"

She blinked rapidly, a film of moisture vanishing as she managed to get the dust out of her eyes. I'd have to clean better; I was pretty sure I had dust in my eyes too.

"Okay. I got it."

"Good. Now, get your ass up, we're watching a happy movie and you're having a good night."

She nodded, her cheeks burning red between my fingers, the warmth wonderfully reassuring. As I let her go and stood, back up, Taylor followed me. Though as we started to head back into the house she paused and glanced back over her shoulder. "Can I take Jeeves?"

I rolled my eyes, even as I silently cheered. "Sure, Tay, Jeeves can watch too. But we have to remember to put him back in his terrarium before you go to sleep."

Her face lit up, and she hurried towards the closest enclosure, only stumbling once on the way. When she came back, a large jumping spider was riding on her shoulder, its little butler hat firmly planted on its head and two front legs waving in the air.

How did I know I had been firmly caught in Taylor's orbit? I found the whole insane thing far too cute for words. The fact that she only did it when she was feeling better was certainly not a factor at all.

I mean, it really was an adorable spider.

/\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\ /\(oo)/\\

Taylor was sleeping and I was staring at the phone in my hand. Was I really going to do this? Really? This was insane. This was stupid. This was so fucking stupid.

My fingers flew across the digits without conscious thought and the phone was against my ear before my mind could catch up to my actions.

"Warden Affiliate Antares speaking, how can I be of assistance? If this is an emergency, I urge you to contact the Wardens immediately."

"Huh, I've never actually called your work line," I said. "Are you required to say that for insurance purposes?"

"Not really, but I figure if it saves even one life someday, it's better to get into the habit. How can I help you, Tattletale?"

Antares was far calmer and - dare I think it? - more amused than I had anticipated. Fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound. "First question: I'm calling more for Vicky than for Antares. Did you mean what you said earlier?"

Lisa could almost see the other blonde sit up straighter through the phone. "What? About the drinks? Yes."

"For both of us?"

The pause here was longer, but not long enough for my power to start whispering. "Yes."

"You're sure?"

"My sister turned me into a fucking flesh monster and my mother is still taking her side. Honestly, I think your monster would be better company and I don't have all that many friends these days." She was joking, but her words held more truth than she realized.

I tapped my fingers on the marble of the island, my tongue between my teeth as my mind warred with itself. My power was no help here. Vicky believed what she was saying so it was just down to me.

"Okay, I'll text you. I don't know if I ever told you or if you ever found out, but my name is Lisa."

"You already did, Lisa. I'll look for your text."

"Second question, this is more for Antares from Tattletale. Did you mean what you said, about the Wardens being able to handle things if I step back?"

The pause was long enough that my power did step in to fill in the blanks this time. It wasn't a very helpful mad lib though, since I just got a lot of contradictory information. I shushed my power and waited for her to respond.

"You're really arrogant, you know that right?"

"It doesn't mean I'm not right to be," I responded.

"True," she sighed. "But yeah, I think they can. I really do."

I nodded, closing my eyes. One more call to make then. "Okay. Thanks, I'll text you when she's feeling better."

I ended the call before Vicky had a chance to respond. Steeling my nerves, I hit the speed dial and waited for my contact to pick up. I didn't have to wait long. The first ring had barely finished before he was answering.

"Defiant here."

"Hey, old buddy. Just reaching out to talk shop," I said.

"Tattletale. I am busy, are you calling with legitimate business or to annoy me?"

I paused. Last chance to back out. Last chance to stop. Last chance to…

My gaze fell on the bedroom door down the hall where Taylor was sleeping. She deserved better than me.

"I'm actually calling with business, but more of the alternative business if you catch my drift, McBeardy."

"Ah. One moment." There was a dull hiss and clang, and what I could have sworn was a pop, then he was back. "This line is now secure."

"Please tell me you added those sounds intentionally and that they weren't you futzing around in your workshop."

"One must have some way to audibly know when a line is secure or not," he stated. I could hear the eye roll in his voice.

"No wonder Dragon adores you," I chuckled. "So, yeah, hi, Colin, I have a question for you as Lisa. Not Tattletale to Defiant, Lisa to Colin. I need an honest answer, no bullshit, no political toeing the line. Your legitimate opinion."

"Alright," he said slowly, "now I'm a little worried. What's going on? Is our mutual friend hurt?"

I sighed, slumping against the countertop. "Not anymore than normal. It was just a bad day. A bad day where I was gone for too long while she was sitting and stewing in misery. I just - I can't keep living a double life. She deserves all of her partner. After everything she did for all of us, after everything we've been through together… And here I am leaving her to track down an asshole that some two-bit C-lister could probably have knocked over with some good luck."

"Teacher is not a pushover, Lisa. He was a powerful, dangerous individual with an army of thralls at his command who -"

"I know, I'm just… I'm tired, Colin. I don't want to be the person who goes out and leaves her sick wife alone at home anymore. Can the Wardens honestly handle keeping things here stable if I retire?"

"Lisa," he said, sounding out his words as he spoke, "can you retire? Most parahumans find it exceedingly difficult to not use their abilities."

"I think I can, Colin," I whispered. "My power's been a lot more cooperative ever since Gold Morning. I don't know what changed, I don't know if it's because Scion died or if it was something Taylor did, but I barely ever get headaches, it doesn't inundate me with information when I don't want it, and I don't feel the need to poke at people like I used to. I still like doing it, but… I always kinda liked doing that, even before I got an ability that specialized there. I think we have an understanding, my passenger and I. I think it's okay with me helping Taylor and her partner too. So… Would the world stay standing if I just… stop?"

"You have been doing quite a lot in recent years, we are not blind to that. But you aren't the only one working to keep things together, Lisa. You do realize that, yes?"

"That's not what I'm asking, Colin." I stared at the phone, willing him to see what I was getting at without being forced to say it.

Thankfully, Colin had always been a smart man. "You want to know if she'll be safe, if you allow yourself to move away from the active cape life."

"Will she be?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I really, really needed to dust this damn house. "I need her to be safe, Colin. She can't protect herself. She's still so hurt. She saved us all, and I just… I can't stop if it's going to put her in danger because I walked away."

"Lisa, you are not the only person who is protecting Taylor. Trust your friends, trust me and Dragon. Trust our allies. We can handle the world. Hang up your costume, put down your mask, help the woman you love heal."

I laughed, it sounded like a wet croak instead of a chuckle. "What happened to the asshole who let a teenager infiltrate a gang of villains?"

"I killed him. He was a bastard and Dragon would never have loved him."

"The things we do for the people we love, right?"

"So very true. Have a pleasant night, Lisa. Tell Taylor I said hello."

"I will. Thanks, Colin."

Wiping my eyes, I cleaned up the few things still left out in the kitchen and then moved to the bedroom. Climbing under the covers with Taylor, I tried to reflect on how things were about to change. I was going to have to meet with Aisha, Rachel, Lily, and Sabah to let them know about the change in management. Who was I going to pick as leader now though? Maybe Rachel just to annoy them all? Nah, Sabah would be better probably. She was a natural.

Taylor interrupted my thoughts by rolling over, her arm draping over me as she curled against my side.

An easy smile spreading over my face on its own accord, I squeezed her back, angling just enough to kiss the top of her head.

"I love you, Tay," I murmured.

There was a sleepy grumble that I couldn't understand, though her hand brushed against the corner of my cheek, her thumb rubbing against my scar. She breathed out, and her weight fully settled against me in the next moment, her head nestling into the crook of my arm.

Yeah, retiring was the right thing to do. Something at the back of my head tickled in assent and somehow, I knew that my passenger was agreeing with me.

Taylor may not ever heal, but that was fine. Good days and bad, I'd take them both and I'd be there to help her through them all.

That was what you did for the ones you loved.