She sat there. Balled up on the couch in his mother's living room,
listening to him recount his ordeal. She hadn't previously had time to take
in to account what must have happened for him when she disappeared. She
wasn't sure how she felt to know that he had never loved Alice. She was
both happy for herself and sad for him at the same time. It was less than
two years after Danny died that she had found love again. She couldn't
expect him to act any differently. Why was she? When she thought about it
she was sort of sad that he had not found love. This, of course, was all
coming from a totally objective point of view. But from her point of view
it was all too much. She was glad to know he didn't love Alice, and that he
still loved her. She was happy to know that he'd married Alice because of
Caleb, and one colossal mistake. But this didn't stop her from feeling
betrayed. abandoned.
She watched further, as Vaughn fed Caleb a bottle. He was a CIA agent trained to kill with his bare hands. Yet, he was a gentle as a rose when he touched Caleb. When he looked at his son he had nothing but joy, and an awe- struck look in his eyes. When he looked at her all she could see was regret and despair. She wondered how she looked at him. Could he see in her eyes how much she needed him? Could he see her pain?
Then it hit her.. Would he leave Alice for her? Would she, herself, want him too? She wasn't about to ask that of him. but did he want to? The way he spoke about their marriage, was as if it was a business agreement. Could he walk away from that? She knew he would never leave Caleb, and she would never want him to do that. But if they had married for his sake, would he leaver Alice, for her?
"Sydney tell me what you're thinking." He looked up at her with a longing in his eyes.
"I'm just trying to take this all in, that's all. I mean you have a son." She reached to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "You're married." She sighed.
"Yes. And Sydney I don't know what to do. I have. responsibilities, obligations, now. I know that I can't just forget that but it's hard." He looked down at his son who had fallen asleep in his arms.
"What are you saying Vaughn." She tried hard to tell him with her eyes what she was feeling, but she didn't know how, or what she wanted to tell him even.
"I'm saying that .things are different now that you're back. I guess I'm saying that I'm tired of being miserable. I love Caleb more than anything. but I can't do this anymore." He stood up and carefully made his way to the couch that Sydney sat on. He sat down next to her. She uncurled a little, so that she could lean over and look at Caleb. He was so peaceful, lying there in the protection of his father's arms. She knew that feeling. Complete, unfettered happiness. No worries, no doubts, just warm, protected contentment.
"I can't lie to Alice, or myself anymore. And I won't lie to you. I love you Sydney. I lost two years with you and I won't waste another second, when it is possible for us to be together." He looked at her. She had a single tear running down her check. At that moment he stopped looking at her with his eyes filled with regret and despair. Instead he looked at her with love, and hope, and somehow a concealed happiness. And she looked back at him with the same love, hope, and a sort of glad anticipation. Caleb's cries broke their intense gazing session, and Vaughn looked down at his son.
"I don't think he likes what I just said." He laughed a little. Sydney smiled and looked at the crying baby. "Would you like to hold him?" He looked up at her.
She was surprised at his offer, but excited as well. She nodded and smiled the way she hadn't smiled a long time. He passed Caleb into her open arms and she brought him to her shoulder and rocked him. Vaughn watched in awe as the love of his life held his child and rocked him. The two most precious things in the world to him were right in front of him. He had though that this moment would never be possible, but it was happening right here, right now. He smiled and let out the breath he'd been holding. With it came so much of the emotion he'd been holding in. He was overwhelmed by the sight before him, and cried bitter tears of happiness.
His mother stood in the doorway which led from the kitchen into the living room, and watched. She watched her son look at the woman before him, he actually saw her. He never looked at his wife that way. A mother notices these things. He loved this woman. She had already known that he loved his son more than anything, and she'd know that he didn't love the mother of his child. But she could tell that he loved this woman, and that she loved him back. It was written all over them. She smiled to see her son as happy as he was, sitting there watching his child and the woman he loved. She knew he would do the right thing. He always did. But she prayed that this time he would do the right thing for him. She prayed that for once he would make Michael happy, before everyone else. She liked this woman. She made her son happy. That was all that mattered in the world.
She watched further, as Vaughn fed Caleb a bottle. He was a CIA agent trained to kill with his bare hands. Yet, he was a gentle as a rose when he touched Caleb. When he looked at his son he had nothing but joy, and an awe- struck look in his eyes. When he looked at her all she could see was regret and despair. She wondered how she looked at him. Could he see in her eyes how much she needed him? Could he see her pain?
Then it hit her.. Would he leave Alice for her? Would she, herself, want him too? She wasn't about to ask that of him. but did he want to? The way he spoke about their marriage, was as if it was a business agreement. Could he walk away from that? She knew he would never leave Caleb, and she would never want him to do that. But if they had married for his sake, would he leaver Alice, for her?
"Sydney tell me what you're thinking." He looked up at her with a longing in his eyes.
"I'm just trying to take this all in, that's all. I mean you have a son." She reached to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "You're married." She sighed.
"Yes. And Sydney I don't know what to do. I have. responsibilities, obligations, now. I know that I can't just forget that but it's hard." He looked down at his son who had fallen asleep in his arms.
"What are you saying Vaughn." She tried hard to tell him with her eyes what she was feeling, but she didn't know how, or what she wanted to tell him even.
"I'm saying that .things are different now that you're back. I guess I'm saying that I'm tired of being miserable. I love Caleb more than anything. but I can't do this anymore." He stood up and carefully made his way to the couch that Sydney sat on. He sat down next to her. She uncurled a little, so that she could lean over and look at Caleb. He was so peaceful, lying there in the protection of his father's arms. She knew that feeling. Complete, unfettered happiness. No worries, no doubts, just warm, protected contentment.
"I can't lie to Alice, or myself anymore. And I won't lie to you. I love you Sydney. I lost two years with you and I won't waste another second, when it is possible for us to be together." He looked at her. She had a single tear running down her check. At that moment he stopped looking at her with his eyes filled with regret and despair. Instead he looked at her with love, and hope, and somehow a concealed happiness. And she looked back at him with the same love, hope, and a sort of glad anticipation. Caleb's cries broke their intense gazing session, and Vaughn looked down at his son.
"I don't think he likes what I just said." He laughed a little. Sydney smiled and looked at the crying baby. "Would you like to hold him?" He looked up at her.
She was surprised at his offer, but excited as well. She nodded and smiled the way she hadn't smiled a long time. He passed Caleb into her open arms and she brought him to her shoulder and rocked him. Vaughn watched in awe as the love of his life held his child and rocked him. The two most precious things in the world to him were right in front of him. He had though that this moment would never be possible, but it was happening right here, right now. He smiled and let out the breath he'd been holding. With it came so much of the emotion he'd been holding in. He was overwhelmed by the sight before him, and cried bitter tears of happiness.
His mother stood in the doorway which led from the kitchen into the living room, and watched. She watched her son look at the woman before him, he actually saw her. He never looked at his wife that way. A mother notices these things. He loved this woman. She had already known that he loved his son more than anything, and she'd know that he didn't love the mother of his child. But she could tell that he loved this woman, and that she loved him back. It was written all over them. She smiled to see her son as happy as he was, sitting there watching his child and the woman he loved. She knew he would do the right thing. He always did. But she prayed that this time he would do the right thing for him. She prayed that for once he would make Michael happy, before everyone else. She liked this woman. She made her son happy. That was all that mattered in the world.
