Spoilers: Angel season 1-Hero, very, very minor BtVS season 3-The Zeppo.
Summary: Cordelia is deeply upset by Doyle's death and refuses to deal with it and do nothing.
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. I am in no way associated with anyone on Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel (although I wish I was J). I don't know Joss Whedon (any1 else want to kick him at times), David Greenwalt, Fox, Mutant Enemy or anyone else I have missed out.
PART 1"Is that it? Am I done?" That was what was repeating over and over in Cordelia's head. She still couldn't believe that he was gone. She loved him from the beginning but it took him saving her life, and then his ex-wife showing up for her to realise that she had feelings for him, and not just high school feelings but major, can't eat, sleep or breathe without thinking about them.
There was no use for 'if only's' although she couldn't stop them coming. If only she had let him know sooner. If only she had realised sooner.
'The stupid PTB, they can turn back time, but they can't bring someone back to life?' Cordelia thought angrily. 'Oh my God! Jack O' Toole! He was dead, but alive.' She distinctly remembered Xander bragging about it, after even more teasing about being Jimmy Olsen. She smiled at the memory.
"I can see Doyle again," she shouted aloud. Nobody would hear her except Dennis so she didn't care.
That was the moment that Cordelia became determined that she would see Doyle again, if it killed her. Not wasting a minute, she went to the library.
"Hi, could you please tell me if u have any books on witchcraft?" she asked the short, meek looking librarian. The nametag said Joey. Cordelia couldn't help but think what a weird name for a woman, never mind a woman who looked that timid.
She was then directed to the third aisle, where to her amazement she found shelves and shelves of books. She hadn't thought that there would be so many books on witchcraft, she could understand it in Sunnydale 'cos of the whole Hellmouth deal.
"Well I better get to work," she thought with the knowledge that she was going to see Doyle again.
Cordelia was sitting at the desk in the library when she very nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Sorry to disturb you, miss, but the library is closing in ten minutes," the young library assistant told her quietly.
"Oh right. Thank you," said Cordelia looking at her silver Gucci watch, one of the few things that she had managed to sneak past her father when all their possessions were taken. She couldn't believe that six hours had gone by; it felt like she had only been here 30 minutes or so. She had just gotten so wrapped up, now that she had realised her true feelings, she was determined to bring Doyle back and never let him go ever.
Cordelia started packing up, sorting the reference books to put back from the ones she was going to loan. She went to work putting everything back where it went. Cordelia started whistling before realising where she was. Not that there was many people around. 9pm on a Friday night, everyone with a life would be out with their friends or their boy or girlfriends. The thought put a smile on her face and she laughed out loud even more when she realised what she had been whistling. 'I think I love you, how corny is that?'
Walking over to that table where she had been working to get the rest of the books, Cordelia found that one of the books was lying open. She could distinctly remember putting them all and sure enough all the other books were still in a pile waiting to be issued.
"Oh well, must have missed one," Cordy thought indifferently. She walked over to pick it up but one glance at the open page told Cordelia that this was what she had been looking for, for the past six hours.
Cordelia was too excited to even bother putting back the other books, quickly grabbing her bag and keeping hold of the book as if it were Doyle himself, she ran to the issuing desk. She was in a total daze all the way home, whistling and thinking about seeing Doyle again.
When she finally got home she was able to have a good look at the pages in question. There were a few standard ingredients that she had already seen be used hundreds of times by Willow and Giles and the incantation was, surprisingly, in English. Cordelia was quite surprised, as she had never come across a spell like this that didn't need translated. But, this just meant that she would be able to do the spell earlier because she wouldn't need to have it translated. Nothing was complicated.
Cordelia was slightly puzzled as to why this spell wasn't performed more often as it seemed so easy.
"Cordelia, stop being silly, its probably because no-one even thought to look for the spell," she said aloud.
Cordelia yawned, it had been a long day but she wanted to do the spell as soon as possible. Looking at the clock she realised that the magic shop would be closed. She would go first thing tomorrow. She was too tired to even get dressed for bed. She just lay down fully clothed, cradling the book and promptly fell asleep.
