Don't Leave Chapter Two

Title: Downfall

Author: PixieDustBunny

Disclaimer: not mine.

Additional Disclaimer: Again, I bow down to Matchbox Twenty and Rob Thomas (oh so sexy) for

their ability to actually get me to focus on the lyrics of their songs. This one is called

"Downfall" and it is from their newest album "More Than You Think You Are."

Spoilers: same as before

A/N: special thanks to my beta!

HERE WE GO!

Dear Mulder,

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*I wonder how you sleep *

*I wonder what you think of me*

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Do you even know me, Mulder? You claim to know me, but the way you talk about me is not even

close to how I am. You already have sleeping problems, I know. But how can you even try to

sleep after writing what you wrote? How can you live with yourself? How can you think that I

would replace you, Mulder. You know better.

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*If I could go back *

*Would you have ever been with me*

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You are right in one respect, though. I do build walls around myself. Too often. And since

there's no use denying it, I'll just come out and say it. Fox Mulder, I love you. I love you

more than life itself. It really pains me to say that. You have to understand that. It's not

because it's not true. I do love you. I just get scared. Not of you. Just of... I don't

know. Just scared.

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*I want you to be uneased*

*I want you to remember *

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I want you to be uncomfortable about it like I am. I want you to feel my uneasiness. This is

really hard for me. I don't know how you got me to do this, Mulder. But you always did have

your way with me, whether you knew it or not. Think back to your first love. Your first

heartbreak. That is what I'm afraid of. Do you remember being that gawky teenager? I still

feel like that. But only when I'm around you.

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*I want you to believe in me*

*I want you on my side *

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I know you love me. I know you trust me. But do you believe in me? Do you truly believe in

me? I need you to. I want us to be a team. Don't doubt me. Don't ever think for one instant

that I would try to replace you. I know now you know that John Doggett was assigned to me. I

didn't like him. At all. Ask him for yourself. But what else could I do? I had so much more

on my plate. I couldn't waste time fighting him. William. Finding you. I know if you had

gotten a new partner when I was abducted that I would be jealous. But still. Couldn't you have

talked to me before jumping to conclusions?

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*Come on *

*Lay it down*

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I know that you are paranoid by nature. After working with you for nine years, I think some of

the paranoia has rubbed off on me, too. But don't be paranoid about me and my motives. Just

let it go. I know it's not easy, but I believe in you.

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*I've always been with you*

*Here and now *

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I will always be with you. I don't know if you could get rid of me if you wanted to. I only

ask you one thing. Don't break my heart. I don't know if my heart could take it. I don't

know if I could live.

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*Give all that's within you*

*Be my savior *

*And I'll be your downfall *

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Give yourself to me. I want you. Make me believe in us. I believe in you. I just doubt our

abilities to be together. Make me believe. Give me faith. I know you promised not to hurt

me, but I'm not afraid of that as much as I'm afraid of the opposite. I'm afraid I'll hurt you.

Save me.

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*Here we go again *

*Ashamed of being broken in*

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We are continuing on this endless cycle, Mulder. You say you aren't, but I know you are afraid.

Just like me. How do we stop this path? When do we make the plunge? Will we ever?

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*We're getting off track *

*I want to get you back again*

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But I see our cycle slowly evolving. Changing. I don't know if it's a complete circle anymore.

Is this the plunge? I want you so bad, Mulder. You can't even fathom how much I need you. I

want you so much it physically pains me to see you without me and to think that I may lose you.

Will I lose you?

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*I want you to trouble me*

*I wanted you to linger *

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I miss every part about you. How can you think or even imagine that I want to rid myself of

you? I miss your smile. Your eyes. You. I even miss your crazy theories. I miss you trying

so hard to convince me to believe in them. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can

believe in us. I want to believe.

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*I want you to agree with me*

*I want so much so bad *

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I want you to understand my fears. My hopes. I want to understand yours. I want everything.

I feel like we are so close to having everything. But can two people have everything?

Something is gonna break. I don't know what it is. But something has to give.

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*Come on *

*Lay it down*

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After rereading this letter up to here I know I sound paranoid. Lose your paranoia. Help me to

lose mine. We can't live like this. Please help me. I need you.

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*I've always been with you*

*Here and now *

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Don't be paranoid about me. Admit it, the letter you sent me was dripping with it. Trust me.

You say you trust me. You say you love me. show me. Trust me to love you and trust you like

you do me. I will always stand by you.

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*Give all that's within you*

*Be my savior *

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Will you stand by me? Promise me you will never leave me. Save me from myself. Give yourself

to me, and I will do the same for you. Show me love. Make me believe.

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*And I'll be your downfall*

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Just don't forget that there are risks we must take in life. Sometimes, I trust you more than

I trust myself. What if I do something to mess us up? I could not bear to break what we have.

Don't let me break us apart.

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*Yeah be my savior *

*Only love can save us now*

*Love save me now *

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With these letters we have reached the point of no return. We can't go back now. If we fail,

we fail together. I believe, though, that if love doesn't get us first, it will save us. Do

you believe?

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*Only love can save us now*

*I'll be your downfall *

*Our love can save us now *

*Love save me now *

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This is it. This is the point of no return. I have always felt that we can undo most of our

actions. But not when it comes to the matter of the heart. Now, we risk our friendship,

ourselves, our everything. This is it, Mulder. We put ourselves in the hands of Fate. We

aren't the type to trust something so readily. But I really want this.

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*Lay it down *

*I've always been with you*

*Here and now *

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Mulder, lay down with me. Together, let's become vulnerable. We've never done this. Let's

trust in something higher than ourselves. For once. I have always stood by you, even when

you left me on your escapades. Like when you went to Oregon. Don't leave me. I won't ever

leave you.

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*With all that's within you*

*Be my savior *

*And I'll be your downfall *

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Give all of yourself to me. I believe, now, that we can conquer our fears. Because I know you

have them, too. Save me. And I'll try to save you. But what if I can't? I don't want to hurt

you.

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*Now I'm back on my own *

*Yeah my feet are heavy, made of stone*

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When I first read your letter, I knew that the choice was mine. I was on my own. Like I was

after you went to Oregon. I'm tired. I don't want to be alone. I feel like I can't go on by

myself. I need you, Fox Mulder.

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*I'll make you go where I go *

*Well they're here, can I take you home*

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I guess, even though our jobs and subsequently are lives have become rather unconventional, I

still yearn for convention. I don't know why. But as cheesy as I sound, I want to walk

through life with you. I want to share in your joy, your pain, your sorrows, your hopes, your

dreams, your trials, you tribulations. I want you to share in mine. We are stronger together.

There's no point in denying it. Come with me. Be with me.

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*And I'm coming home, on my back *

*Kissing me, your lips painted black*

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I know you, Mulder. I just don't know what tomorrow brings. I can envision you, though,

carrying me. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. I want you to kiss me. I want

you to wrap your arms around me and never let me go. I know you can fulfill my wants. My

needs. But will you? Are you afraid that if we actually initiate our relationship, we will

be outcasted? I am. But at the same time, I don't care.

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*Let me be your downfall *

*Let me be your downfall baby.*

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Mulder, when people fall in love, like I did with you, they give themselves to the person.

They find it so easy to give in. Give in to me. Let me be the one to break your hard exterior.

Let me in. I want to be let in, and I know you want to give in to me. I want to give in to

you. I love you.

Yours today, tomorrow, and forever,

Dana Scully