Sometimes I give myself the creeps

Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me

It all keeps adding up

I think I'm cracking up

Am I just paranoid?

Or am I stoned?

-Green Day, "Basket Case"

"If you take the red pill…" Worm knew what was going to happen. He reached out to grab the small red pill and swallow it. NO! WRONG MOVE! Dumbass! "The pill you took was part of a trace program…"The dream faded. Worm was back in his room in Zion. Nothing, he knew, could take back the decision he had made that day. No matter how many times he wished it. Well, he had heard about what Cipher did a year ago, but Worm was not a traitorous bitch. He wouldn't sell out his comrades for happiness. He thought back to his first month at Zion. His name, Worm, had two meanings. One was that he was a bookworm, and spent countless hours at his computer downloading and reading human literature from the Matrix. The other, he took a lot of pride in. It was that he had created several viruses that had distracted some agents while a couple other men carried out an important mission. Everyone respected him for coding skill. As he looked back on the six months that had passed since he was freed, he realized that he wouldn't go back. That life was better lived in light and knowledge. But then why the hell was he so depressed? He meditated on that for an hour. He tried to read, but he couldn't focus. The question bothered him. And he locked himself in his room for two days, barely eating, waiting for an answer. Finally, after being alone for 53 hours, 23 minutes, and 8 seconds, he found an answer. A one word answer. He was surprised it had taken him this long to figure it out. "Brian."

And I wonder

How's your brother

Did he end up f***ed up like me?

-Staind, "Yesterday"

"How about it? Will you help me?" The words echoed in the huge, nearly empty shaft that was Zion. Worm marveled that just a few months ago, they thought the squiddies were going to destroy it. He knew the Nebuchadnezzar had lost a crewmember in that incident. He had never met the guy, just heard amazing things about him. A shame, really, that they lost him so soon. The rumor was that no one had ever done more damage to the machines. Worm's friend Splinter considered his request. Splinter, as a hovercraft captain, had access to the matrix liberation system code that was used to free new members from the matrix. Worm needed to use it. "Yeah. We're bored anyway. We'll set you up with some equipment, tech, and security. But remember, you gotta let him go if he doesn't want in." Worm was barely listening. "You'll help? Thanks! I'll drop you a line, K? Let you know when." "Sure," said Splinter, "Glad to help." Worm ran off to his room to work on the plan. He had realized that the source of his depression was his brother, Brian, whom he had left behind in the matrix. No matter how great things got at Zion, it depressed him that he knew someone who wasn't free. He and his brother were the best of friends before. Worm felt he owed it to him to get him out. Since he had found someone who could help, Worm began to arrange the meeting. Unlocking his computer, he booted up his messaging client. He clicked the "channel" drop-down, and selected "Matrix: AIM". Select a ship at broadcast depth, the computer prompted, and displayed a list:

Nebuchadnezzar

Striker

Blade

Logos

Fate

Worm clicked on "Blade". The screen opened a messaging window and began to display formal text:

Zion local terminal 4227 (Worm) is requesting matrix access mirrored through your ship, purpose AIM messaging.

Accept/Deny/Question?

The letter Q appeared on the screen and the leader of the ship began to type:

Blade_captain: What'cha want?

Worm: Patch me though to the matrix. I need to message someone we are going to free.

Blade_captain: Ok, that's cool. Here you go man...

Blade_captain: --Accept--

The broadcast depth ship Blade has accepted your mirror request. Patching to matrix...

Link complete.

Message user:

BrIsH4xingYou

BrIsH4xingYou. An IM name his brother had kept for a long time…

Found.

Messaging begin:

Worm: Hello Brian

BrIsH4xingYou: Who the hell is this?

Worm: It's me. Nathan.

His old name brought back so many memories. It seemed like it was from another life. In a way, it was. He was a new man now. He was Worm.

BrIsH4xingYou: Nathan? We thought you were dead...

Worm: Yeah. Guess I'm not, huh? We need to talk.

BrIsH4xingYou: Yes. Where?

Worm: I'll meet you at an apartment. The address is being sent to your screen. Meet me there at 8 P.M. tomorrow.

BrIsH4xingYou: Nathan, before you go, would you mind telling me where the hell you've been for the past six months.

Worm: I wouldn't mind. But I can't explain it now. You need to come talk to me. Face to face. 8 pm tomorrow. Be there.

Worm connected to the Zion server and opened a message window to Splinter. He typed a simple message. "It's on. 8 pm tomorrow. Get your ship ready, we need to go to B-Depth."

Let me enlighten you

This is the way I pray

-Disturbed, "Prayer"

As he prepared to jack in, Worm thought of his past self. Nathan. He thought of Brian. He had to convince him. But of course his brother would come. He knew he was not the kind to turn down an offer like that. A voice called from behind him. "Broadcast depth," said Splinter, "Time to do this. Flight destination: The matrix. Estimated local arrival time: 7:01 PM. Here you go."

Enter.

The funny feeling of all your senses being touched at once.

The buildings.

The cars.

The ringing phone.

"We're in."

Wouldn't listen even if I told you

Who the f*** am I to say

You're too busy with the lies they sold you

Another cure to fix your day

Open wide for all the shit they feed you

While the TV defecates

And blindly walk wherever they will lead you

While the edges slowly fray

-Staind, "Fray"

8:03. There was a knock at the door, and Worm opened it. He stared into his past reflected in his brother's face. "Come in," Worm said. What else can I say? he thought.

"Look I'm really sorry to put you through all this. You probably thought I was dead. I have… learned a… a truth." "What the hell does that have to do with you leaving?" asked Brian. Worm responded carefully, " I want to show you. I can't really explain it to you. The best I can say it is that the world is not real." "Stop it with this cryptic bullshit Nathan," said Brian, "I want answers. I want 'em now." "Look, I can show. I really can't tell. You're gonna have to trust me." His brother paused, considering it, and then spoke: "I can't believe this. You just…disappear for half a year, come back, and ask me to do the same?" Nathan was shocked. He was about to say something witty in response, but all of a sudden another voice shattered his thoughts. "Miiissssster Packer. Open the door." God damn it. he thought, It just had to be him. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT. Go figure. The agent I distract to save someone else's life has come back to kill me. His brother looked at him, seeing his worried expression. "Was that for you?" he asked. Worm grabbed his brother's arm, and picked up a machine gun from beneath the couch. "Come on," he said, "We have to get out of here. Now." His brother stared at the gun. "How did you get that? What is going on Nathan. I don't understand-" The door exploded. This was too much for Brian. He couldn't run. He just looked from the agents to Worm. The agents looked at each other. They nodded. And then, as Worm hurried to load his gun, they loaded their pistols and shot Brian three times in the chest. Worm screamed. His world became a torrent of gunfire and pain. There was only one thought. One conscious thought. I can't save him now. There's nothing I can do. He's already dead.

A deer dance

Invitation to peace

War

Staring you in the face

(dressed in black)

With a helmet

Trained and appropriate for the malcontents

For the disproportioned malcontents

-System Of A Down, "Deer Dance"

Worm ran from the apartment as his frag grenade tore it apart. It wouldn't stop the agents, he knew. The agents. He had to kill them. He was quite aware that you couldn't really kill an agent, but he didn't care. He had to kill them. As he ran down the hallway, he saw the agent in a new body burst out of a door 3 feet ahead. Worm jammed his machine gun violently into the agent's stomach, and held the trigger down. "Take that, you son of a bitch." He ran down the hall. Out of the apartment building. More agents surrounded him as he shot off the weapon, frantically reloading as they dodged all the bullets. One agent that tried to jump in front of him was completely mowed down. Several unfortunate bystanders suffered the same fate. He realized that there was an exit nearby, but there were several agents in front of that building. His mind suddenly turned to the crew of the ship. He was about to flip open his cell phone, when, still running for his life, Worm heard a noise from above. A chopper, closing in fast. 8 feet above the ground, he saw Splinter standing in the open door firing two AK-47s and kicking out a ladder with his feet. Worm grabbed the ladder and began to climb, still firing out behind him. As he neared the chopper, Splinter backed off to let him in, and then, as soon as Worm was inside, slammed the door shut and yelled, "I got him. Get us the hell out of here." More quietly, as he and Worm sat down, Splinter said, "Damn. Gotta hand it to you. I doubt if I could've lasted as long out there. You did good, kid. Really good. Sorry about your brother. We saw the agent take a body near your room too late to warn you." "It's alright," said Worm, "there was nothing you could've done. Really it was my fault. I should have gotten him out of there." "Yeah," said Splinter. Beneath Worm's face he could see a sadness and frustration Worm tried hard to hide. It wasn't as OK as he tried to make it. But what do you say to a guy who's just had his brother killed by an agent?

And I can

Remember

To know this will

Conquer me

If I can

Just walk alone

And try

To escape

Into me

-Disturbed, "Remember"

The moment he relived. In his dreams. Everything after that was chaos. Like when he chose the red pill, he told his remembered self to do the right thing, but the past would not listen. It tormented him. Miiissssster Packer. Damn the agent. Damn it all. His life was now without meaning. Why couldn't he save Brian? As days, even weeks went by, he felt himself losing grip. He slipped slowly into shock. He became convinced he was insane and the insanity became real. One day, he plugged into his training program and loaded an empty city street. He summoned a gun and a dummy of the agent, one that wouldn't fight back. He shot and shot. He stood there for half an hour, pumping lead into a bloody digital corpse. Screaming. And then he fell to the ground unconscious. Two days later, they found him. In a coma within the program. And behind his closed eyes it played, over and over. "Miiissssster Packer. Open the door." "Was that for you?" "Come on. We have to get out of here. Now." "How did you get that? What is going on Nathan. I don't understand-" THE EXPLOSION. THE AGENTS. andhestands theretheyshoothimIcan'tsavehimbrianwhywhywhywhywhy...