Okay, okay, Zypher. Btw, to J. Scorpion, Apock should by rights be Epoch, I think. Spelling is creative, it seems. In any case, I am assured by a greater fan than myself that Zypher is the spelling they use on web sites. And I know well that it's not zephyr, thus the switch in vowels which changes the whole pronunciation.

Sorry about the loooong lapse in writing, been concentrating on fictionpress stuff and, gasp, life offline. But just recently saw the new Matrix and got two new reviews (thanks guys) and so must write again.

Morpheus says, write a journal. So I, Zypher, best hacker in or out of the matrix, write a journal. And here it is.

Don't let whatever Morpheus writes fool you. All of humanity isn't like him. All of humanity doesn't believe like he does. We're not all crazy Zionists, ready to give our lives for the cause. Not all of us even want our "freedom." I think that ignorance really is bliss. I gave up so much, so much, because Morpheus really convinced me that his real world was worth fighting for. He really had me going. But I've wised up since then, and this rabbit hole hasn't got any exits. There's no way out of the real world, brothers and sisters. There's no way out of our so-called freedom. They haven't even got any real drugs out here. It's not the lap of luxury, like the matrix was by comparison. It's quite the opposite. And if you get out, you can't ever go back. You can try, but then the Agents track you down, and they get you like they got Ki and countless others before her.

Oh, Ki, my love, my darling, the only thing that made life out here bearable for me. She was the perfect girl, if you can believe it. But Morpheus "freed" her. If she'd stayed in the Matrix, she'd be imprisoned but she'd be alive. She'd be out there, somewhere, and happy. But she got caught up in Morpheus's dream, and it killed her. Tank couldn't get her out in time, and the Agents killed her. I was watching the Matrix over his shoulder when she died, because he'd pulled me out just seconds before. I didn't see her die. I saw those awful green symbols rushing past, and then Tank just broke down, and she was dead.

I've figured out a lot of things since then. Morpheus, he's on a crusade of his own. He fights and he fights and he never considers that maybe he's fighting for the wrong thing, for the wrong side. He believes but he doesn't question, and it's gotten like the blind leading the blind around here. He should ask what the coppertops – what a stupid name for them – really want, and don't wrap it up in this Alice forever searching bullshit. Let them see what it's like out here, and then give them the choice. I think that most of humanity's like me – we choose decadence, we choose luxury, we choose comfort, and we don't really care whether we're free or not. It's a romantic idea, a powerful idea, and all that, and anyone will believe in it, but it's not really what we want.

See, captivity is and always has been tolerated. The slaves – they were content enough until people told them what they were missing. I don't mean that they shouldn't have been told – I'm not any sort of racist – but it is only because they were missing out on a better world that slavery was such a bad thing, right? Then they were free, and they told themselves they were happier being free. It's just a pride thing, a consolation prize. Freedom doesn't keep you alive when the whole world is burned out and dead, and all the people you know are crusaders or killed by 'em. The world the "coppertops" are missing out on is a whole lot worse than anything in the Matrix. There's nothing doing except fighting this stupid, pointless, wrong war against computer programs that can never be beat.

No, I don't guess I believe in Morpheus's beloved prophecy. I don't see how I could. We're intelligent adults around here. Surely we've outgrown all those messiah myths. It's sheer insulting to people that believe in a real messiah – Jesus save us. And the rest – well, they see right through that whole God thing, right, that's what they think? So why can't they see through this bullshit that Morpheus has been feeding us to make us fight harder and hold out longer? There's no hope, none at all, for this goddamn Cause, and they just won't see it. They refuse to see it. They just take the mumbo-jumbo old Oracle gives them and run with it. Not that it matters to me. If there is some Chosen One, and this is a big if, then he'll just be the final step in this master plan for humanity that never asks humanity what it wants. If he can beat out the Agents, which won't happen, he'll just ruin the lives of the rest of humanity, and that'll be just plain peachy all round. It's almost funny, but it makes me sick.

I feel real bad for all of them, here on the Nebuchadnezzar. Great name, great lesson for us, all about human arrogance. Ha. Poor Morpheus, so buried in his own lies that he can't see the truth though the evidence is all around him. Poor Trinity, beautiful Trinity, trusts him like a daddy though he leads us all so wrong. She just refuses to see because she thinks that doubting beloved Daddy Morpheus would hurt him so much. Poor Switch, having her emotions played with so much. She's just angry all the time, he's screwed with her head real good. Poor Apock, thinks he's a poet, thinks he's in love with pretty Switch, thinks he's fighting for a noble cause though he doesn't want to be immodest and say so. Poor Mouse, can't bring his two sides together – Morpheus is his Daddy, and he's a real geek so he loves this crusade stuff, and he's grown up so long out here that he doesn't even want to go back; but he can't really believe, he's a doubter and cynic born. He's just crying out for true faith in their goddamn circus prophecy, but he can't quite find it no matter how much he wants to. Poor Tank and Dozer, though only God or the One know what Dozer thinks about. They've never even been in the Matrix. They don't know anything but this primitive existence outside. And it tears Tank up so much, makes him hurt so bad, whenever he loses somebody to the Agents. Poor Ki, dead in this war. Poor Zypher, hahahahaha, missing his Ki, not believing, hating this outside world and this supposed freedom. Poor Zypher, the only one in this madhouse who can admit to looking out the windows and seeing what it's like to not crusade, and seeing that it's better. Poor, poor crewbies, ha.