Title: Keep on Running (interlude in Death series)
Author: Goldy
Email: thegoldoneb_a@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Excuse me while I run out of the room and curse JW, MN, DG, and a network called the WB. BUT I do want to give credit where it is deserved, and No Doubt is the one with the fabulous song that I used, and I've decided that 'Running' is the theme song for 'Even Death' but especially for this story. AND I have to thank No Doubt for the title because it came from the song.
Synopsis: Purely B/A mush. With a little angst thrown in, cause I couldn't help myself.
Rating: PG… I think
Dedication: No Doubt, cause I love their funky new album, and 'Running' couldn't have been a more perfect song to use for this series. And Jennem because she puts up with all my little mistakes and my lack of commas.
Feedback: Heh. I don't even know why I bother. Of course I want it!
[Run, running all the time
Running to the future
With you right by my side
Me, I'm the one you chose
Out of all the people
You wanted me the most
And I'm so sorry that I've fallen
Help me up, let's keep on running
Don't let me fall out of love]
Sand, hard and clumped together, stuck to her feet as she walked along. Her hair was tossed back, in disarray around her face from the breeze that was hard enough to keep away the mosquitoes but warm and caressing at the same time. The surf lapped lazily at the beach, creating blankets of white foam, and a shoreline dotted in seashells. The moonlight, reflected on the water, rippled and danced in tune with the waves.
Taking a deep breath of sea air, Buffy threw her head back and felt a high pitched giggle come up her throat. "I love it!" she declared.
Angel watched her, his mood subdued, but not quite enough to suppress the surge of contentment he felt watching her. Her eyes were twinkling with a joy that he hadn't seen in years. Her laugh was loud and carefree, and her smile came naturally rather than the fake one that she so often opted to use. Buffy twirled up to him, and without thinking threw her arms around his neck.
"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
Angel immediately pulled away, aware of the agony it caused them both to be close. "I'm glad you like it," he said, watching her face.
Disappointed at having to separate, Buffy pushed away her hurt and reminded herself how painful it was for him to know that they could ever be as close as they wanted. "The beach," she sighed in happiness, "I love the beach."
Angel gave her a weak smile. "It's pretty nice."
Buffy's eyes ticked to the ocean, so vast and spread out, black and seemingly endless in the night. "It isn't nice, it's beautiful."
Angel followed her gaze. "It is."
"Why did you bring me here?" Buffy asked abruptly.
Angel kept his voice carefully stoic. "I don't know."
Buffy turned away from the ocean so that she could rest a heavy slayer gaze on him. "Yes, you do. And I want to know."
Angel sighed. "I wanted to take you somewhere nice."
"Why? So we can remind ourselves how hard it is?"
"Buffy… no… I didn't mean…"
Buffy walked away from him. Barefooted, she wandered carefully towards the ocean. Her earlier happiness forgotten, she slowly stuck one of her toes into the salty water and shivered a little from the cold shock. A fine breeze picked up at the same time, spraying her in a mist of water. Giggling, she realized that it was impossible for her to stay angry when she was at the beach.
Coming back to Angel, she was careful to ignore his pleading looks. "It's perfect here," she said in way of apology when she reached him.
Angel looked at her hopefully. "I'm sorry… I didn't want to make things harder between us."
She smiled graciously and resisted the urge to snuggle up in his arms. "I know. I'm sorry, too. You know me, I'm a bitch."
"You're no such thing!" Angel scolded.
"You're sweet. Still a terrible liar, though."
"Buffy…."
She shook her head. "It's okay. I was making a funny."
Angel shifted uncomfortably.
Sighing, Buffy lay down and sprawled backwards onto the sand. Staring up at the stars she gave a slow peaceful smile. "This is nice. Quiet. Good way to get away from it all."
Nervously Angel sat down next to her. "I hate sand," he grumbled.
"I love it," Buffy murmured, "the way that it's rough against your skin… yet wet and soft."
"Sticks to your hair," Angel complained.
"Please! If you didn't wear so much hair gel, you wouldn't have that problem."
Angel flashed an earth-shattering smile, and Buffy noticed that he had finally relaxed slightly. "I saw how much cosmetics you keep in the bathroom, a little hair gel is nothing to get snide over."
Buffy popped herself up on one elbow. "I wasn't getting snide." She shifted a little closer to him. "I was merely pointing out a fact."
"Sure," Angel replied, watching her through guarded eyelids.
Cautiously she slid closer. "Angel?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think…" Buffy paused. "Maybe if," she blushed, "it wouldn't be bad if…."
Angel nodded cutting off her garbled words. Without another sound, Buffy gratefully moved until she could lean comfortable against him. Angel's arms encircled her, his fingertips gently moving over her stomach.
Buffy shivered and closed her eyes. She missed this. It had been almost a week since she had told Angel that Willow wouldn't be able to bind his soul. It has been almost a week since Angel had allowed himself to touch her, going as far to almost run in fright every time they were in the same room.
Angel leaned back against the sand, and Buffy curled up comfortably against his side. "This is okay, right?" she whispered. Angel made a sound that Buffy thought meant yes. "What are you thinking about right now?"
Angel took a moment before answering. "You." Gently, he played with the tips of her hair sprawled against his chest. "I love you."
Buffy looked up at the stars over-head and thought that nothing could ever be so perfect. She was on a beach with Angel, taking a break from patrol and looking after Dawn. She was doing something normal couples probably did every night. But for the Slayer, it was a moment worth treasuring.
[Running, running as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it?
We're running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated
Be, be the one I need
Be the one I trust most
Don't stop inspiring me
Sometimes it's hard to keep on running
We work so much to keep it going
Don't make me want to give up]
"I'm sorry that I've been so distant this week," Angel continued, when Buffy didn't say anything.
Buffy snorted. "Distant is an understatement." Angel lapsed into silence and Buffy almost regretted her words. "It's hard," she finally admitted. "Knowing that the Powers do everything they can to make things harder for us."
"It is."
"Angel, did you…" Buffy gulped, "have you thought about us separating?"
"Buffy…" his voice was pleading, implying that she wasn't going to like the answer.
Turning, she faced him. His arm possessively wrapped around her waist, and she had to fight not to react to his nearness. "I need to know."
"I have," he said slowly. "I thought about it a lot. Buffy, when I'm around you… it's so easy to forget what I am. I think about what a miracle it was that you were given back to me, and I had a hope that Willow might find a spell to bind my soul. Now that's gone, and I don't know how to be around you."
Pressing a finger to his lips, Buffy pleaded with him silently with her eyes. "Like this. When you hold me… it's enough."
Angel pulled sharply away from her. "That's just it!" he cried. "Being around you is enough! Being in the same room as you tears at me!" Angel looked directly into her pained eyes. "Every time I see you, the world is in danger."
Buffy stood up on wobbly legs. "You're right," she said in a tightly controlled voice.
Angel reached for her, "Buffy, I didn't…."
"No. You're right." Shaky, she took a few steps away from him. "I'm being so selfish. I need you. I never thought about how that might effect you… or others. The only thing I want is to be around you." Her voice broke slightly, and Angel could hear her pain. "I just wanted to be around you… and it didn't matter what you had to go through."
Angel forced himself to remain on the ground, when all he really wanted to do was get up and shake her. "You aren't selfish."
"I am… I never thought about how my living with you would effect you…"
"I can take care of my own feelings quite well," Angel snapped. "Now stop trying to pull away from me."
"I'm not…"
"You are," Angel cut in forcefully. "I said that I thought about separation. It doesn't mean that it's going to happen. But if we're going to work this out, you need to be able to sit and talk to me without running away."
Buffy fumed. "Great." Buffy took a step towards him, fists balled. "You're not exactly the best person to be scolding on running away and not working things out."
"I'm not running now."
Buffy snorted. "Are you trying to make me angry? Cause…" Buffy faulted noting the amused expression on his face. "You *are* trying to make me angry!"
"Worked well, didn't it?" Angel replied calmly.
Buffy gave a short chuckle, and joined him back on the sand. "Okay, I'm not running. I'm here to talk things out. I'm-talking-things-out-Buffy.
"I'm glad to hear it," Angel said.
"What are we going to do?" she blurted.
Angel sighed and looked away. "I don't know."
After a moment's hesitation, Buffy snuggled back against him, relieved when he held on to her tight. "If this is too much…"
Angel pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's fine," he whispered in her ear.
"Angel," Buffy whimpered, grabbing onto his arms, almost in an effort to keep him with her. "I love you so much…"
He held her closer to him. "I'm not going anywhere. We've come too far this year."
Buffy nodded. "We're both older now."
Angel gave a ghost of a smile. "I know what you mean."
Overcome with emotion she leaned back against him, loving the way that his fingers felt tickling over her skin as he traced patterns over her arm and stomach. Closing her eyes Buffy once again felt herself surge with contentment. She could hear the surf of the ocean crashing against the shore in a never-ending harmony. She could smell the salt of the ocean, tangy and bitter, but soothing. She was pressed tightly against Angel, and as far as she was concerned, she was never letting him go.
Suddenly Angel shifted, and Buffy felt herself lying against the sand alone. With a cry of frustration, she reached out blindly for her lover. A gentle finger lifting her chin back stopping her from opening her eyes and looking for him. She felt his lips press down against hers, soft and sweet. A moan escaped her throat, and she felt his mouth curve into a tiny smile against her own. Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him closer and deepening the kiss.
Breathless seconds ticked by as he nursed her mouth. Hands reached, feeling and grasping as the kiss turned from soft and gentle to hard and desperate. Buffy's finger's combed restlessly through his hair, while her other hand blazed a trail over his solid chest and taut stomach. Angel's hands returned the favor, tracing her face and back, leaving fire where her skin had once been.
Buffy thought that she was in serious danger of losing it altogether when he pulled away, leaving her breathless and somehow unsatisfied. "Oh god," she gasped, falling backwards against the sand.
Angel leaned back on his haunches. "That was…."
"Amazing," Buffy finished, turning to stare at him.
Smiling a little, Angel noticed how her eyes shone and twinkled in the moonlight. Her cheeks were pink and her mouth red and swollen from his kisses. Reaching for her, all awkwardness was gone when she slid against him. She pressed her back against him, still breathing hard.
"You're a good kisser," she said thoughtfully.
"Huh," Angel answered carefully.
"Probably from hundreds of years of practice," Buffy mused aloud.
"You don't want to know."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I really don't."
Nipping at her ear, Angel whispered, "Was this the best date you've ever been on?"
"You don't want to know."
Angel growled.
"Yes, Mr. Possessive, this was the best date," Buffy paused. "Ever."
"Good." Angel waited a beat, "I know that we don't have the best track record for dates…."
"No, we certainly don't."
With a dark look Angel continued, "But I want to take you out. And we can do stuff… we just need to be careful."
"Careful," she repeated, thinking about how her self-control had just been put to the test, and how it was evident that it failed miserably.
Giving her reassuring squeeze, Angel nodded. "I think that this… it's worth it."
"So we'll be careful? And we'll have dates? That's what we're going to do?"
"And slay," he murmured, "and hunt, and look after Dawn, and help run an agency." As an afterthought, Angel added, "And try and get along with Cordelia."
"Easy for you to say," Buffy muttered.
Leaning back, Buffy snuggled deeply against him. Angel stroked her hair lightly, letting himself feed off the life she gave him without taking too much. The waves crashed against the shore, the moon shone brightly in the night sky, and the stars seemed to laugh and twinkle. All the while, two warriors held each other, faced against impossible odds, knowing that they could conquer and be victorious.
Because sometimes love was worth it.
[Running, running as fast as we can
I really hope we make it
We're running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated]
End
